Chapter 2 Literature review part one: theoretical framework
2.32 Harassment drama
There are many forms of harassment, including the simple forms such as predatory, dispute-related and escalating bullying (Einarsen, 1999:16). However, the more complex forms are more difficult to recognise and resolve, such as delegated bullying, in which the bully persuades or coerces someone else to undertake bullying on their behalf; subordinate bullying, which is bullying of a more senior person by a subordinate person; passive-aggressive bullying, which involves non-assertive,
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undermining behaviours; or personality disorder bullying, which is related to a personality disorder in the perpetrator (Tehrani, 2005:231). In dealing with harassment, counsellors provide therapeutic support to those who have become distressed by the negative behaviours of others. The distress that clients experience when faced with perceived or actual negative experiences can be extremely distressing. The stories surrounding harassment are dramatic, involving high emotions, with references to acts of deceit, favouritism, humiliation, intrigue and undeserved punishment. However, it is important for the counsellor to recognise that what is described by each of the players, particularly in complex harassment dramas, may become distorted and changed as it passes through the lens of unmet needs and unresolved life experiences (Tehrani, 2005:231).
Identifying the true nature of the drama is a skilled process requiring a detailed understanding of the life history of the client, an identification of the signs of emotional displacement observed during the interactions that take place within the counselling relationship and an awareness of the signals that provides an insight into what may be influencing the current perceptions and behaviours of the client¸
abusive relationships involve interactions in which all the players play their part.
When a client tells their counsellor, "I did nothing to cause this to happen to me,” the counsellor should be aware that this is unlikely to be the real situation and that their client may have failed to recognise, unwittingly or unknowingly, their own part in the harassment drama. This does not mean that the target of bad behaviour has done anything intentional or wrong. Rather, the harassment target's behaviour or presence was perceived by the perpetrator as a threat to their own power, position or self- esteem. Therefore, the true extent and complexity of the harassment drama may remain hidden unless the counsellor has the opportunity to observe and work with all the players. Only by understanding the real causes of the conflict and by resisting the temptation to apportion blame and responsibility will it become possible for the counsellor to address the underlying issues. This position of unconditional positive regard (Rogers, 1957:29) is an essential prerequisite of all counselling relationships.
While counsellors may find the behaviours of their clients unwise, irresponsible or cruel, in order to bring about any change, counsellors must form a working alliance (Satterfield & Lyddon, 1998:411) with their clients based on respect for them as human beings. The drama triangle (Karpman, 1968), which describes a dynamic
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relationship among the persecutor, victim, and rescuer, is a useful way of looking at abusive relationships (Protor & Tehrani, 2001). However, the drama triangle fails to recognise the importance of a fourth role common in harassment cases – that of the avenger. The avenger is typically someone who has experienced harassment in the past and attempts to deal with unresolved distress by taking action on behalf of others. In the new model shown in Figure 4.1, it is proposed the four roles interact with each other.
Victim Persecutor
Avenger Rescuer Figure 2-5: Roles within the harassment drama
Source: Adapted from Tehrani (2003:273).
Each of the roles in Figure 2.5 involves a compulsive maladaptive pattern of behaviour that is triggered by particular situations connected to an unresolved trauma from the past. While occasionally a single individual will fulfil the characteristics of a single role, never moving into any of the other roles, this is a rare situation. More typically, an individual will have a preference or feel comfortable in one or two of the roles and alternate between these roles as circumstances change.
For the harassment drama to be played out, individuals will occasionally be forced to play roles with which they are less familiar. This situation may occur when there are changes in the balance of power within the system. For example, a victim may seek the support of a colleague regarding what is believed to be harassment. The victim may feel that the oppressive behaviour of their manager could be unintentional and discusses this with a colleague with the aim of seeking support to raise the issue sensitively in a team meeting. However, the colleague may have had difficulties with
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the same manager and begin to push the victim to make a formal complaint against the manager. In this situation, the avenger uses their own victim status coercively and, as a result, becomes an oppressor of the victim, who wishes to take a more conciliatory action. The victim is now in a situation where they are faced with deciding whether to collude with the avenger and take out a formal complaint against the manager or to pursue the original decision, which would involve rescuing the manager from the aggression of the avenger. The harassment drama will continue for as long as the players remain unaware of the true nature of the games being played and begin to recognise their part in sustaining the drama interactions. Self- awareness is essential as is the ability to recognise that by moving beyond the game it becomes possible to recognise all the players' needs and frailties, which are so often obscured within these archetypal roles (Einarsen et al., 2010:233).
Figure 2-6: The restored self-model
Source: adapted from Tehrani (2003:274)
The restored self-model (Figure 2-6) illustrates how the harassment drama, shown at the lower level, is connected to a higher level of understanding and meaning. It is by engaging with this higher level that individuals can became aware of their sense of vulnerability, power, responsiveness and wish for justice. Counsellors need to encourage their clients to recognise that remaining within the harassment drama will lead not to justice and peace, but, rather to a continuation of the situation. Breaking
Power
Responsiveness Persecutor
Rescuer Justice
Avenger Bullying Drama
Restored Self
Vulnerability
Victim
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the harassment drama requires players to understand and operate at this higher level of functioning free from the negative feelings and fears found within the dynamics of the harassment drama. However, embracing vulnerability, power, responsiveness and justice requires determination and courage and considerable trust between client and counsellor. The role of the counsellor is to demonstrate that while being vulnerable may make it easier for an individual to become a victim, true vulnerability is a strength when it enables the vulnerable person to recognise the reality of a difficult situation and encourage seeking the support and understanding of others, rather than trying to take control of everything alone. Power can corrupt and lead to abuse, but it can also be used in a positive way when it enables the powerful person to act with justice or compassion for others. Being overly responsive can turn a counsellor or other supporter into a compulsive carer, whereas the ability to listen and reflect without taking over can have a positive influence. The application of justice without compassion and understanding can be experienced as punishing and damaging even when the just solution is recognised by all concerned as appropriate, fair and reasonable. In order to work with the harassment drama, counsellors must work at this higher level if they are to achieve an understanding of the patterns of behaviours being acted out and recognise their own vulnerability to becoming caught up in the drama (Page, 1999:211).