5.8 Psychological factors that compel women to remain in abusive relationships
The aim of the study was to explore psychological factors that compel battered women to remain in abusive relationships. Psychological factors are determined as those which are not truly coping mechanisms and those which cannot be measured directly. The following are psychological factors, which are presented as themes, which emerged during the interview process.
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5.8.1 Depression as a psychological factor in compelling women to remain in abusive relationships
A noteworthy finding in the current study is that battered women are severely psychologically affected by the battering that they have to endure on a daily basis. This supports Walker’s (2009) assertions in terms of BWS. Women who remain in abusive relationships experience high levels of psychological distress and often accept responsibility for being battered (Starburg, 2006; Walker, 2009). Battered women may experience the following symptoms: hyper-arousal, high levels of anxiety, avoidance behaviour(s) and emotional numbing which may be expressed as depression (Hansen & Harway, 1993;
Walker, 2009). All the participants in the study indicated that the physical and psychological abuse affected them emotionally. They also indicated that they feel powerless to stop the abuse. A study by Campbell (2002) indicates that depression is the most predominant mental health problem linked to woman abuse. According to Calvete et al. (2006), women experience high dependence on their abusive partners as they think that they lack the necessary personal resources to live independently. Thinking, in this maladaptive manner according to the theory of Learned Helplessness, increases the risk of lack of objectivity, feelings of worthlessness which ultimately results in the development of depression. In the current study, participants’ responses point to the fact that they avoid their partners and do not express anger for fear of infuriating the situation. This is supported by Hansen and Harway (1993) and Walker (2009). They argue that expressing anger towards the batterer may have the effect of increasing the violence. Battered women repress the intense anger experienced in response to a beating and present as depressed, which has a greater survival value in terms of their everyday lives. During the interview process, participants’ statements indicate that they were depressed as a result of their abusive relationships. They indicated both psychological (for instance, not wanting to talk to people) and physical indicators of depression (for instance, not eating for a week), this is illustrated in the following responses which are indicators of depression according to Beck, Steer and Brown (1996).
Participant 1: “Before all this I used to be happy, right now things are different.
Sometimes I lock myself in my room not wanting to talk to anyone. This other time I spent a week without eating.”
Participant 2: “I have lost a lot of weight. This is not my body size. I used to be a plus size but now am wearing size 34 and 32.”
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Participant 4: “What is happening to my marriage is very painful and I feel powerless to stop it. Now I am suffering from high blood pressure because of him. I was once admitted to hospital because of stress, I feel sad all the time.”
Participant 5: “I cry very easily these days. When someone shouts at me, even at work I become so jumpy and scared. I don’t like what is going on in my life but I have no control over this situation.”
Participant 6: “It hurts a lot. The way he treats me is painful to be honest. I have blood pressure problems and am taking medication for it and sometimes I take sleeping pills. I want to sleep a lot.”
Participant 8: “Sometimes I take my anger out on other people without even being aware and the painful part is I sometimes do it to my children. It gets too much sometimes. I wonder if it is worth it [living].”
5.8.2 Relationship hope and commitment as psychological factors that compel women to remain in abusive relationships
Barnet et al. (1997) posit that another reason battered women remain in abusive relationships is to honour their relationship commitment. Battered women often feel bound to their abusive partners or may want to protect their children and parents. They may worry that if they leave the relationship they will not be able to find a new partner. According to Roberts (2007) attachment and commitment to the abuser and the relationship often makes it difficult for the woman in taking the steps necessary in relation to leaving or seeking help. According to Moore (1979) a very important reason why battered woman chooses to stay with her partner is a combination of hope and love. This is also supported by a recent study by Collins, Jordan and Coleman (2010) who report that battered women often remain in an abusive relationship because of the expectation that their abusive partners will change their behaviour. Walker (2009) points out that it is important to recognise how the cycle of violence leads to the woman’s hope that her partner will change, since he tells her after each beating how sorry he is, and how he intends to change. The author notes that there is no doubt that all women want the violence to stop but many do not want the relationship to end. Abusive partner’s promises to change and intermittent violence (both psychological and physical) reinforce the battered woman’s hope that the abuse will end. This optimism is further reinforced by the partner’s intermittent kindness and love after a battering incidence (Collins, Jordan & Coleman, 2010;
Sanchez, 2007). Participants’ responses show that they are committed to their marriages and will stay no matter what to make things work. They have expressed undying hope, which can
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be considered a psychological factor, as it cannot be directly measured, that their husbands will change and stop the violence. This point is illustrated in the following statements.
Participant 1: “My mother told me, my child once you get married it means you have to stay for better or worse. Marriage is difficult, I just have to endure, and it comes with hardships so I guess this is one of them…. I have to think of the years I have invested in the relationship. I do hope that someday he is going to change and the abuse will end because he was not like this before.”
Participant 2: “We started from nothing, we have built a home together, we struggled together and that is why I do not want to go back home. I believe that things will change [he will change], one day all of this will be over.”