4.2 ONTOLOGICAL LOCATION OF THE STUDY
4.2.3 Ontological implications for valid ways of knowing gender experiences
In this subsection, I share my own ontological and epistemological orientations as they have informed methodological and design considerations and directions I chose and/or did not choose for this study. In other words, knowledge in this instance is understood as a subjective by- product of reality, rather than an objective phenomenon out there.
103 Being raised in a patriarchal family and society system subordinated me. As a young girl of the family I was always protected and had taken decisions for me as I was classified as incapable to take decision as a girl. The way I walk, talk, dress and behave was prescribed, the whole community accepted it as normal and I acted accordingly to save my family name. I remember how in isiZulu; you will hear adults saying “Umendo awuthunyelwa gundane”. In other words, you cannot send a mouse to check for you how will it be to get married, the thinking being that as a girl you need to meet societal expectations so that you can get a husband. A person who grew up in KZN is used to the words “Ukhamba lufuze imbiza” meaning that if you are a girl, you have to behave like your mother. Therefore, it was important to observe the non-verbal and expressions of gender as they played a vital role in being regarded as a normal girl in the society.
These experiences have informed my choice of observational methods as part of a reliable data collection strategy. Gender is seen as a social construct, a form of performance (Butler, 2011a) that is historically and culturally rooted in contextual systems of social relationships (Burr, King,
& Butt, 2012). Therefore, girls and boys are socialised from home and society to perform gender, and people around them make sure that they do not break this cycle of socialisation as there are everyday known sayings that are reiterated as the only truth.
When my grandmother, uMaZulu, came to visit us she would tell us fairy tales, she would start by saying “Kwasukasela kwakukhona ……” and we would reply by saying “Cosi, cosi,” and after that we would all be sitting quietly and interested in hearing the story. These fairy tales had a lesson to teach us how to behave and were a silent approach which was highly influential. They compelled me to act within the boundaries of being a girl as they served as the guiding metaphors to make sure I act within the societal prescriptions. This experience emphasised the
104 importance of discursive narratives as a way to reinforce and express experiences of gender. This understanding has informed my choice to employ narrative inquiry as an umbrella method of data collection approach. Gender was a sensitive topic to openly talk about in the presence of boys and such discussions sometimes delved into issues of gender-based and sexual abuse. My own gender-based conversational experiences informed my choice of gender-based focus group interviews as a data collection method whereby girls were comfortable to share their experiences of gender without boys, similarly boys openly expressed themselves in the absence of girls.
My childhood experiences have informed my understanding of gender and how girls and boys interpret their daily gender experiences within the schooling context. Hence I foreground the importance of considering the particular individual case rather than the general and the collective. According to Holland, Blair, & Sheldon (1995) quantitative methods do not clearly capture girls‟ and boys‟ real experiences through their „mechanical‟ nature. Gender is qualitative in its nature and individuals express their gendered experiences in complex ways. For example, in this study, girls and boys are able to tell stories about their experiences of gender in the primary school which have not yet been articulated or conceptualised within the social sciences.
Therefore, this study is located within the broad area of qualitative research. My 21 years of experience as an educator, working in school which is a natural setting for this study has led me into knowing the importance of recording incidents that happens at school for future reference and formal reporting purposes. Hence, in this study I have used document analysis as a reliable data collection approach that assisted me to know the gender-related incidents that happened before I visited the schools.
105 Epistemologically I therefore, construct my research as arranged and situated, to investigate the complex power dynamics in girls‟ and boys‟ relationships within the schooling contexts. I have employed social constructionism, as discussed in Chapter 3, which explores how gender meanings are constructed to facilitate change in the lives of girls and boys in various and differing ways, and how these are associated with more extensive social or structural relations. I have used ethnographic methodologies (observations, document analysis and informal conversations) to learn about the everyday schooling experiences of girls and boys and participatory methodologies to respect the agency of girls and boys. It is the aim of this study, to find ways in which girls and boys find agency to navigate their gender-based experiences at school. I have adopted a reflexive stance to research to share my childhood experiences of gender and how they shape my views about the best ways we may come to know about gender experiences of children in the primary schools. These experiences have inculcated in my mind the centrality of understanding meanings that individuals make about the lives and challenges that local communities face as a valid means of knowing.