The only participant who displays ambivalence around being lucky is also the participant who has engaged with her adoption in a very intense and emotional way, thus lending support for this line of argument.
R: So do you sometimes feel lucky to have been adopted or do you feel that you might have led a better life if you hadn't been adopted, or...?
Lerato: It's a two-way thing. Cause sometimes I'll be like ok, maybe if I had my mom I could have done this, things more the way I want to. But then other times I'll be like no, actually I'm wrong. Maybe it's a good thing I was adopted. Maybe, cause these people are teaching me to go on the right track. 'Cause like other people their parents teach them to go on the wrong track. Well, actually they don't teach them but ya, like me, whereas my parents teach me like, ok, I have to go on this track and I have to stay on the right track, I can't keep on going left right and centre, I have to like stay on the right track all my life.
This participant did not define herself as lucky spontaneously, but did so in response to a direct question by the researcher. In response to this question, she suggests that she is lucky, but that it is not a simple thing. Rather, it is a 'two way thing', where her belief that she would have had more freedom living with her biological mother is balanced with her gratitude for the more conservative way in which her adoptive parents have raised her. Thus, she suggests that there are both negative and positive aspects to being adopted and it is not a simple and clear cut matter of being lucky.
Thus it appears that the strength of this position of self-as lucky differs across the participants.
However, where it is very strong there appears to be a weaker capacity for dialogue between other conflicting positions that relate to being adopted, such as being angry, or wishing that the adoption had never occurred.
This prominence, contrasted with the relative absence of such stories in the other participants, appeared interesting, and a possible explanation was sought.
Thabo tells several stories of his encounters with racism. Although only one such story will be provided in this discussion, all of these stories have a similar theme, and all of them seem to be resolved in a similar way. Most of these stories are told as a series of events with very little emotion expressed. He tells of a young boy who, by virtue of his place as a black person in a racist society often gets discriminated against, but through his associations with his more empowered white father, gains a right to respect that otherwise would not be his. His father appears to be an important character in these stories and it seems as though the role of rescuer, which was initiated when his adoptive family first took in Thabo, is still played out today.
R: Um, when people ask about the fact that you're adopted, what do you tell them?
Thabo: When people ask if I'm adopted I tell them I am. First, first if like, when we went to a stall once and it was in Pinetown and then they sell all those cheap biscuits and stuff. My dad bought from them, and there was lots of black people there, only like black people buying from there, like bulk stuff and then I was standing there holding this stuff and my dad said 'just go and stand in the line' and I stood in it- not with all the other people - and the guy like said ' g o over there' to stand in the other queue. And then I said 'I'm waiting for my Dad' and he says 'No, go over there', then my Dad came and then I didn't go into the line I just stood there and then my Dad came and then my Dad said 'No, this is my son' and then he like looked back and said 'oh, sorry'.
R: So he was quite surprised that your dad was a white man.
Thabo: Ya, it happens a lot
R: Um, so you say it happens quite a lot Thabo: Mmm, in some places when we go out
R: It sounds like you come across racism quite a bit Thabo: (Silence) I do.
R: When you come across racism and you realise that people are discriminating against you because you're black, how do you deal with that?
Thabo: (Silence) I don't know, I just ignore it, go away, do something else
R: And does it make you feel worse about yourself or does it not really affect you too much, or...
Thabo: It doesn't really bother me
R: Do you think that when people find out that you're adopted they treat you the same as any other kid, or do you think you sometimes feel like they treat you differently?
Thabo: They, they treat me um, better than what they did when they first, before they saw my Dad or my surname.
In this extract one can see that being adopted means that Thabo receives social credibility and respect that he would probably not gain if he were not adopted. Significantly, this is Thabo's most important association with being adopted, and it is this preferential social treatment that informs his adoptive identity. This can be seen by the way in which he automatically links the question on adoption with his stories of racism and of being treated with more respect once people find out that he is adopted. Other people in society appear to give his white identity a lot more respect than his black identity. Thus we can see how Thabo's encounters with racism impact on both his adoptive identity as well as his racial identity. Because he has been adopted, he has been given access to a white identity that in the eyes of others is more worthy of respect than his black identity. In responding to racism, Thabo seems to withdraw and remain silent. It seems that he does not actively respond to this racism, and perhaps he is not sure what to do in the face of it.
Although the other participants did not report this kind of experience. Whilst reading the transcripts from the interviews with the parents, a common theme amongst some of the parents appeared to be that they had experienced much social isolation since adopting their child. Two of the parents reported almost identical experiences of having to curtail social activities in order to avoid racist encounters with people. Thus it seemed that some of the parents had been sensitive to racist attitudes from other people. In response, these parents had adjusted their activities so as to avoid potential racist encounters. Thus they had been able to protect their children from exposure to racism.
R: It sounds like you've had experience with adopting and fostering black and white children; do you think that there are any specific challenges to adopting
transracially?
A: I think the other people's reactions to it. I'm very sensitive to those reactions and I'm very protective of the child so I've noticed that I've isolated myself because of the child. I tend to avoid situations where the child will b e stared at,
commented on. It might not be as bad now with (name of younger, unrelated, transracially adopted child), I don't know, but there's a lot of chattering and comments.
R: What kind of situations are you referring to?
A: We went to (name of beach) with her. That's a very conservative beach, which we used to go to a lot. We actually in the end sold our time-share because people felt uncomfortable with her on the beach and at the flat they would keep their children
away. And all the children would be happy and then the parents I could see were uncomfortable... 'Go back to the maid's room' they'd say to her... they'd assume... I don't know. And I didn't want her to be hurt. But I think it has affected her, I'm sure.
(Mother of female participant)
Here we can see that Lerato's adoptive mother and father have been sensitive to racism, and have gone to great lengths to protect their child from racist encounters. In contrast, Thabo's father answers the same question with the following response:
R: Have there been any challenges to adopting transracially?
G: I say no, tongue in cheek cause we did have one friend and he called her auntie, but when we went to the farm where this lady's son lives there was a little bit of friction. So we never bothered going there again. So, you know.
R: Did it seem that there was a bit of racism coming from that family?
G: Mmm, very much so, in fact, I was going to report them you know. I mean, I'm not a racialist by any means, I'm an (name of country of origin) you know, I'm not an Afrikaner or someone who was brought up in Africa. So you know, it doesn't worry me so much. Ya, so there was a little bit of racism.
R: Has that been the only incident really?
G: Ya, the only one, in all the years, not even when he was fostered, we've never had a problem.
(Father of male participant)
Although he does react to racism when he encounters it, Thabo's father seems less sensitive to racist attitudes by other people. In not really being aware of racism, he has not made any overt attempts to protect his son from racist encounters. What all of these experiences seem to highlight is the extent of racism within the South African context. The degree to which this racism impacts on the identity of transracially adopted children appears in part to be mediated by parents' responses to it.