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CHAPTER FOUR THE STORlED NARRATIVES

CHAPTER FOUR THE STORIED NARRATIVES

Daryl is a White male teacher and manager of a private school in Umhlanga Rocks, an historically White suburb. He teaches Maths and Physical Science to predominantly White learners who reside in this elite suburb. As a private school, the fees are comparable to other private institutions and only accessible to a select group of learners. Daryl previously taught at two government subsidised schools that were historically White in the provinces of Gauteng and KwaZulu-Natal respectively. He resigned to become a part-time tutor and eventually set up Super Tutor, at which he is the principal and teacher of Maths and Physical Science. Super Tutor is a residential building that has been refurbished into classrooms and offices. Adjoining the main building is Daryl's living area, which opens out into a beautiful garden. Many of our meetings took place at the school, during which time extensions to the already existing building were being done and an additional second level was added. His two dogs were always on guard.

I have often told my story

to young people

we can only really be happy when we are solidified not like a blob moving in space but

a comet moving in a specific direction

(Doryl 2001)

Daryl described his middle class home life as stable and secure. He also described himself as apolitical, and not really aware of the political environment because he lived in such a lovely

"cocooned" environment in a northern suburb in Johannesburg.

His mother stayed home to take care of his brother while his dad worked. Although his parents were never regular churchgoers, Daryl became an active church member. His father was British and his mother was an Afrikaner, and they were not able to find a church that would accept them. He was involved in youth groups and by the time he was in standard eight he became a Sunday school teacher. He was youth Leader for the next 18 years.

DaryJ always felt like a "second class" person while in high school because he was never a sports person like his friends. Coming from a strong arts background, in which his grandfather played the violin for the London Philharmonic Orchestra and his dad attended the Royal College of Art, it is not surprising that Daryl played the guitar, was a keen photographer, and enjoyed creating graphic images on the computer. He loved participating in the school's dramatic productions, much to the disapproval of his parents. This they believed had a negative effect on his academic grades.

CHAPTER FOUR THE STORIED NARRATIVES

His performance at high school was not up to scratch. "Mum and Dad always compared me to my very bright cousins, Barbara and Russell." He added, "I suppose I was intelligent too, but I was just lazy and involved in a lot of other things. My church life was very important."

Growing up in a middle-to upper-class neighbourhood in Gauteng provided Daryl with a particular orientation to the meaning of success and wealth. Although Mrs D, the school guidance counsellor, advised him that teaching would be the most appropriate career for him, he did not intend becoming a teacher. His father was a scientist for Anglo-American, and he had introduced Daryl from a very early age to minerals and mining. He also introduced him to Don Enwright, the man with an unbelievable intellect, and who had been studying Geology through UNISA. Daryl eventually developed a fascination for rocks. Through the efforts of his father, who managed to secure him a place at Rand Afrikaans University for a degree in Geology, he was able to secure his leave as a photographer for the military intelligence, after just one year of national service.

My mentors

Daryl commented that because of the lecturers he hated Maths and enjoyed Chemistry and Geology at university. The Chemistry lecturers, he added, "had a real passion for lecturing.

They made Chemistry come alive and inspired us to want to study it. They did not speak down to us. They spoke with us."

At university he struggled with Organic Chemistry. He eventually left university to take up a temporary teaching post, during which time he made his fifth attempt at Organic Chemistry. He enjoyed being a teacher and believes that teachers, like him, who themselves experienced difficulty in passing, understand better why learners make the kind of mistakes they do. They also empathise with fears and misconceptions that learners have. He was able to turn his hatred for Maths into a passion once he was able to conquer his fear for the subject.

Daryl strongly believes that for him becoming a teacher, was a calling. He explained how he woke up at about 4 o'clock one morning because he distinctly heard God saying, "You have need for suffering" and he asked, "God, Why?" Daryl remembered God distinctly saying to him, "I've been calling you to teach and you have been ignoring me. I'm the Lord your God and I shall supply all your needs according to my riches and glory." He left university to take up a teaching post in Hyde Park High School in Johannesburg. Daryl believes that each of us has a destiny; he was destined to be a teacher. He emphasised that the whole essence of being a teacher and influencing lives makes teaching spiritual. He was convinced that teaching is a gift that cannot be ignored. He is often reminded of a song he sang in church as a youth.

CHAPTER FOUR THE STORIED NARRATIVES

I have a destiny I know I shallfulfill

And I have a destiny on that city on the hill And I have a destiny that is not an empty wish For I know that I was born for such a time as this

Long before the ages God released me

to walk in all the ways he has preparedfor me.

You giving me a part to play in history to help prepare a bride for eternity and

I did not choose you but you chose me and appointed me for bearing fruit among

and I know you will complete the work you have done in me by the power of the spirit God almighty,

I have a destiny I know I shallfulfil.

He soon realised that university taught him little he did not already know. That which they wanted him to know, he knew would not work in the "real" classroom situation.

Daryl thoroughly enjoyed his teaching at Hyde Park High and he attributes much of his success to his Head of Department and mentor, Jenny Nicholson. He commented, "For me the first three years were very crucial, and especially teaching Math and Science which is very strong on content." He admits that he learnt more about the subject and its content from his mentor than he did from the Chemistry and Physics lecturers at university.

As a novice teacher, mentoring proved most valuable as it provided him with the support for the ideas and views that he wanted to initiate in his classroom. "Being part of a team is strongly lacking in most schools," he explained. "Teachers", he complained "often work in isolation, living in glass boxes encrusted with chalk dust. This does not allow the learners to see teachers as real people. Learners experience the relationship as a 'us and them' type of thing." He believes that as a teacher you need to be able to transgress those boundaries that have been erected so that the learner sees the teacher as a "real" person. He firmly believes that mentoring of young teachers is vital. He went further to suggest that novice teachers should serve a period of apprenticeship in which time they may decide to continue, or if unsuccessful they should be allowed to leave.

The most daunting task he experienced as a teacher was the amount of administrative work which he found time consuming and often un-useful. This inadvertently landed him in trouble with the management, and to his eventual resignation from Hyde Park in 1993. He still argues that administrative work "kills the passion and the enthusiasm of a teacher".

CHAPTER FOUR THE STORIED NARRATIVES

Daryl left Johannesburg to take up a teaching post at Beechwood High in KwaZulu-Natal. He described his teaching in this school as a traumatic experience. He had never taught in an all- boys school before and he did not believe in "caning" the boys. The first week proved to be

"sheer hell" when fifteen boys were caned. He emphasised how he tried to fit into the system.

"It was a case of sink or swim. I actually underwent a personality change. I became a harsh tyrannical bastard and that was something that I wasn't very pleased with." What concerned Daryl was that he was not being true to himself.

He believes that the "respect you command as a teacher should not come from the position you hold or what you stand for, but for who you are." He added that a teacher who has a high degree of self-esteem and self-confidence is a teacher who can get alongside a pupil.

Furthermore, teaching Science at Beechwood High School was a "cut and dried story". He found that the Science curriculum had already been designed for him to teach and the notes had been prepared in advance and were "still being used seven years later with the same mistakes". This he found disconcerting because he had always considered being a teacher a developmental craft, more especially because the learners were changing all the time. "Good teachers have a teachable spirit," he argued.

After teaching at Beechwood, which was subsequently renamed Northwood High School, Daryl realised that he needed to "get out" of this situation. He argued that to be a successful teacher "one needs to work in a safe and secure environment".

He left Northwood High and started tutoring learners in the afternoon after school. This eventually developed into a private school called Super Tutor College in 1999. He thoroughly enjoys working and heading such a school. He believed that getting alongside individual learners is when real teaching happens. Having the four P's: Preparation, Perseverance, Passion and Personality, gives him the satisfaction and enthusiasm to remain in the teaching profession. He never sees teaChing as a vocation or as an eight to five job. Instead, "to be a successful teacher you actually have to live, eat, drink and sleep your profession".

Daryl regards himself as a passionate teacher, passionate about teaching young people and passionate about his subjects. He considers his role as one of service. He makes reference to a church song, "Brother let me be your servant, let me be as Christ is to you," to emphasise this view. He views teaching as a service industry and he adds, "as teachers we are called to serve. As teachers we also need to see our learners as clients who are paying for a service." Because of the varied interests and talents that he had developed during his schooling years, he is convinced that

CHAPTER FOUR THE STORIED NARRATIVES

teachers should be developed holistically. He finds that his musical and drama skills form an integral part to his teaching.

He explains, "To be a teacher is to be an entertainer. It is not about standing up in the front giving lectures. I sing to them, it kind of just happens. Normally it is a song that will make them laugh. You need to keep your pupils with you, they need to actually hang onto every single word that you say and the only way that that can happen is for you to capture their minds with humor. I'm never sarcastic, I always make the joke on me, not on them".

He believes that "learning is language bound", and the different talents he possesses he uses in his teaching to make sense of the subject, "because individuals see things from different perspectives and as a teacher you need to create a teaching and learning environment that allows for those differences". Being a teacher is like being a gardener. Just as you would provide the plant with adequate care (love, water), eradicating the weeds to provide the right environment and the space for the plant to bear fruit, so too, must the teacher care, love and provide the appropriate learning environment for learners to discover their true potential.

Like an open book

According to Daryl, life as a teacher "is an open book". He believes that learners need to know and understand where you are coming from, where you are going and what you have achieved in life so that they can be inspired to take that step forward. He enjoys the challenge of taking on a student who is a "struggler" and making him/her successful. He enjoys seeing the incredible value in people and the realisation that what you are investing as a teacher in another human being is working. This for him is an inspiration for him to go on.

He remembered with pride and fondness Roland Selmer, the student who invited him for his twenty-first birthday and openly thanked him for inspiring him to study and pursue his engineering career.

Having a teachable spirit

"Teachers", he argued, "should not see their career as a way to become 'rich', but as a chance to influence and enable change in as many lives." He strongly believes that "teachers who don't become passionately involved in their occupation do not influence lives. Teachers should be role models to their learners." He maintains: "You've got to have a teachable spirit, and a positive attitude." He added, "the most important thing is the teacher's attitude, not the subject matter. If the teacher displays a positive attitude, and the learner is "praised with heart and passion for whatever little steps he takes forward", that is when you start seeing success." He

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elaborated, "I have a passion for Maths and Science and people, relationships which gives integrity to who I am."

Good days and bad days

Daryl took on the role of teacher with all the commitment and realisation that there are bad days when the learners "infuriate me and there are days when they are a joy to me and I am a joy to them". While he argued that as a teacher you have to become relevant and it is only when you are relevant that you can stimulate students. He believes that one needs to be an avid reader, and listener of current programmes, documentaries, and books to keep abreast with the latest. He summed up his teacher life as one that is two-fold; playing the role of teacher and parent. While he argued that teachers can never take the place of parents, he stressed that they should be approachable, as parents are.

The following poem, captures his thoughts and feeling about being a teacher

Teacher ... Teacher a different creature,

don't be a preacher

You're a farmer: till the soil that brings life Tend your flowers with love and patience Encourage the growth by giving knowledge,

Insight and understanding

prune, discipline, admonish, order so that lives will grow strong

Pour your life into others, Make them beautiful colours

When you're nothing to take with you, when you have left You will leave richness that will self-perpetuate.

(Daryl 2002)

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CONCLUSION

This chapter reflects the emerging learnings for me at the conclusion of the storied narratives of teachers' lives. Two levels of analysis are provided:

How the storied narratives were told: details concerning the choice of representation of different narrative forms are explored.

What was told through the storied narratives: details of the propositional contents is presented.

As the researcher it was interesting as well as important to learn how the interpretations

"varied" in interpreting the "memories" differently. I discovered how the sense and purpose of the meaning also changed in my role as ventriloquist, evangelist and activist in producing the storied narratives. The storied narratives re-present selectively constructed information and through the employment of different representational forms I have troubled the use of the first person and the third person, through multiple personas and voices, inhabiting different thoughts and moments.

The first four stories attempted to maintain the researcher and the researched as co-creators of meaning, while in the latter two stories, the reporting was constructed predominantly by the researcher and the power and evocativeness of "the story" was lost in the intellectually constructed outline. Narrating the stories differently enabled me to explore ways of meaning making, changed my ways of thought and highlighted the active agency of researcher in different but interesting ways.

The act of narrating allowed for a possibility to see we are different people, learning from difference and from other ways about how to live a life. The story reconfigures time into moments, moments that can be studied. I see the possibility of understanding narratives with multiple truths and as such to explore the self as process and in a continued state of becoming.

The stories become sites to other stories, a web of connections that are constitutive of teachers' subjectivities.

In constructing a variety of representations, stories moved around, alluding to an infinity of possible tellings. There is never a fixed story being told, no narrative closure. Stories are powerful means of understanding teachers' lives, and within the poststructural framework, life history approaches provided me the tools for understanding teachers' identities as fluid, never fixed, and continually in a state of flux.

CHAPTER FOUR THE STORIED NARRATIVES

Through conversations about their remembered experiences, photographs, songs and poetry, the participants and I co-constructed a research text, one that I refer to as a "storied narrative".

These storied narratives show a life as a unique "lived experience", made up of relationships and shared understandings of the world and different from other kinds of existence. The storied narratives are but one facet to the cube, one of the multiple viewpoints I have taken in the construction of my work of simultaneous vision. I feel compelled to ask at this point, "What shaped the telling of these stories?"

In deconstructing what has been muted and elevated tells us of other stories, stories and storying necessary for them to make meaning of their world. As the cubist artist I felt compelled to move my stance. Shifting from a single unified perspective, I am able to look "below the relief', beyond the coloured facets that seemed to protrude close to the surface in order to make sense of the intermeshing, intertwined and fluid relationship it shares with the fragmented, cubist background (refer to illustration, Chapter Three, 80). As researcher, I feel compelled to read between the lines and probe for the unsaid, which will add to another level of reality, and offer yet another one of the multiple interpretations to understanding teachers' lives. For this study, I am also compelled to understand the social context that has shaped the telling of the events and happenings, which are crucial to understanding these teachers' subjectivities. In asking, "How have these teachers, marked by the brutality and racialisation of apartheid in South Africa, created the conditions for desire of particular discourses and practices within which disruption and change happen in powerful and productive ways?"

If what I have explored is limited to scratching the surface, it does provide the best way to break through to the next level of understanding. This is presented in the next chapter.

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