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Hlo Kunene told the story you are about to read. Hlo, as I call her, is an African woman and a mother of one child. She was 29 years old at the time I conducted these life history interviews.
She had been working as a teacher and member of the management team at the Westville Prison School for Juveniles since 1996. Her students are criminals serving long sentences for crimes including murder, hijackings, rape and robbery. Her office is a little room adjacent to the classrooms in which she teaches and is reached after many flights of stairs and gated entrances, which can only be opened by certain members of the prison staff. An armed guard is posted outside her classroom while she teaches.
An extremely high wall outside of her office is a constant reminder of the many occasions when students attempted escape. She is extremely careful not to leave any of the gates open while she works in her office.
Sometimes I felt very helpless Often I thought of giving up ...
Hungry, angry, frustrated!
Things got really bad at times. I would cry, pray, cry .. . When things got really abnormal, My mother was always there for me.
She kept me going, She kept me strong
Committed to my vision of who and what I Wanted to become.
'Twas by faith
It was not easy, but it was worth it! (Hlo Kunene 2000)
I became a mother in my teens
Being the eldest of the three children was not easy. Most of the things had to be done by me at home. My mother worked as a nurse and when she went to work at night I had to take care of my brother and sister, like seeing to their meals and their uniforms. Although my father worked as a machine operator for a tool company, he was not a very responsible man. You can understand the home environment when a father drinks a lot; you end up having lots of problems. Father was very violent with us, he would hit everyone and that only stopped when I was in high school. I remember the day, while I was still in high school and I came home to find that there was no food, there was nothing. I sold my school bag to some lady so that I could buy food for my brother and sister.
In a way I became a "mother" in my teens, and my interest in education started way back then when I had to help my brother and sister with their homework and solve their social problems. I developed skills in dealing with people very early in my life and I enjoyed sorting out other peoples' problems such that I thought I was going to become a social worker. Being a social worker was my first choice over and above being a teacher. I loved
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both careers because I thought I had skills to do both. But I choose teaching because being a teacher meant that I am still very much a social worker.
I ended up being very close to my mother. Although she went through so much physical and emotional abuse from my father she cared and provided for me. What struck me most was her strength. She made sure that we went to the best schools at that time. She would also make sure that we attended political classes where the SACP cadres taught us about the struggle. Politics where I came from was like daily bread for me.
In fact, as badly as I've created my father, he was somebody that was very intellectual in his own sense. He expected you to be with your books all the time. He made sure that we understood words and every afternoon he would sit down with me and while he had his liquor he taught me to see the time and so much about "life".
He was somebody you won't really understand at times. I was sometimes confused because he waS very nice but still very irresponsible. My father treated me differently to the way he treated my younger brother and this was always an issue. That really upset me and it created in me that constant pressure of having to prove that I am female and I can do anything. I never really looked up to father in that sense of being a parent.
Madam V
Mrs V, my grade five teacher made me feel special. I remember being very interested in education. I would take my books home and go over everything that was done for the day at school. I would also ask my mother to read to me and help out with my homework. Mrs V.
cared about me and when she established that I was not the "happy" girl that I looked she wanted to help me and she went to the extent of phoning my mother at work to find out about me. I knew that if I had a problem I could go to her.
She had this confidence in me and that confused me, because I was expected to perform much better than I could. I was always worried and I always carried a book with me everywhere. In the June exams I got a "C" aggregate and I remember Mrs V called me into her office and told me, "this is not your mark and you are not going to accept this". I worked hard and in the December examinations I got a "B" aggregate and I also ended up being the second best student in the circuit.
As much as there was that pressure Mrs V. made you do your utmost. I think that was very
important because as students you tend to be lazy and not realise your full potential. It
really helped being on my toes all the time. I learnt from her that there must be some
environment that should exist for teaching and learning to occur and it's interesting for
me when I talk about this because these values stayed in my mind for a long time.
St Francis Boarding School To perm or to braid?
Everyone in the taxi warned me that I should never go to boarding school with my hair permed and looking like that, but I just wanted to see to what extent the nuns would actually go in interfering with someone's hair. At four o'clock that day a big meeting was held and I was called to stand in front, on the podium to be seen by all. The sister then emptied omo-washing powder over my head and forced me to wash my hair. She then pulled
CHAPTER FOUR THE STORIED NARRATIVES
out a pair of scissors and cut off my hair. I cried. I was told to apologise to the entire school for what I did.
I stood up and I told the students how sorry I was, and that next fall I will return in the same hairstyle because it looked very pretty and neat. This made the sisters very angry but I enjoyed the reaction because I expected it.
It was all about Christian values
Boarding school was all about Christian values. St Francis in Mariannhill is a catholic school, and the culture there was that you won't be allowed to practise anything that was outside those Catholic values. The problem was that there were just sisters and nuns there, so that is the life we had to live. The only two male teachers taught history and Biology while the other subjects were taught by the nuns. They were all White except for the Zulu teacher.
My experiences there are still so fresh in my head, like when we used to go to the dining hall, we were not supposed to talk at all. Even if you made a sign asking for salt or something that became a serious problem. There were no excursions and even the movies that we watched were about David and some story from the Bible. I was the first person to object to this. Why should we come to a place that was just showing something that we know and read in the Bible? If it is entertainment they should get us movies that we could identify with.
The nuns could never accept that we could just know a boy, and we could actually be expelled for just knowing and speaking to one. We girls were treated differently from the boys. Our letters were opened and read while the letters of the males were not. We were abused. We carried sand from one point to another and repeated the process until they asked you to stop. We were asked to scrub floors and sweep the dusty, corrugated roads, as punishment for things they regarded as "wrong". Being politically aware I realised that my rights as a student and as an individual were being violated. I became very unhappy.
I mobilised the students and discussed these wrong doings. I remember being called to the office for inciting the students. They threatened to call my mother to complain about my political activities. But the trap was that I was very intelligent and in Marriannhill they wanted people like me who were doing well for their marketing strategy. As much as they disapproved of my political activities, they did not expel me.
I am not a born again Christian, because I am still very much into African culture and beliefs like my father. After watching the preparations for Shaka's Day celebrations on television we decided that we would like to plan some activities for the day as well and being in the forefront I approached the nuns to explain what we wanted to do and why.
There was a series of meetings with the SRC about that issue and eventually they refused.
But a group of girls I mobilised decided to go ahead anyway. We mobilised and prepared for this cultural event. We practised dance routines, songs and other cultural items and on that particular day, we marched into the dining hall, sat on the floor as we traditionally did and celebrated ...
The next day the organisers were called to the office and we were each given nine of the best lashes. We all returned with our palms bandaged.
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The cream of the crop
As a result of "bad" behaviour or poor performance, many of my friends were expelled or suspended from school by the time they had reached standard eight. And really, if you returned to complete your standard nine, you became the "cream of the crop" and I was one of those who returned. Parents complained and objected to my return, especially those parents whose children were expelled or who had failed. The nuns called me in to discuss the complaints but for some strange reason they did not expel me.
I decided to concentrate on my schoolwork and forget about the hard life that we were experiencing at boarding school. Things got a little better in standard nine. I became close to my teachers and they also understood me for who I really am. I was made a prefect and was responsible for cleaning the premises, a real honour then to have such a responsibility.
My standard nine English teacher was one who stands out vividly in my mind when I recall my experiences at boarding school. During one English lesson, she gave us an essay to write on our career choice and the reasons for such a choice.
I wrote about wanting to become a teacher. In the essay I poured my heart out about the kind of teacher I want to be. I also wrote about how strange I felt that we teach people about their rights yet as teachers we infringe those rights, and as learners there is very little that they can do about it. Being a teacher, I wrote, would give me a chance to understand the learners as total beings, like Madam V did for me.
I was most surprised when my teacher asked me to read out the essay in the assembly, given how critical I was about my own teachers. And I asked myself, /lHlo, do you think
that someone in this place has finally accepted me for who I trulyam?/I
Leaving Edendale, Leaving Marriannhill
Teaching, my lifeline
Yes, I would often talk to God directly, I would tell God this is what I want to be. I want to succeed and I don't want my life just to end here in this small location in Edendale.
When I registered to train as a teacher in 1988 at the University of Zululand (Unizul), I really wanted to specialise in Speech and Drama, something I enjoyed watching on television. I also loved dancing and role-playing. But a friend of mine told me, " You know Hlo, as a African person there is no chance of you getting a job with Speech and Drama", and so I changed. I was as fond of Biology as I was about my tennis and athletics. I wanted to do something that was physical, And so I decided to major in Human Movement Studies.
I realised that it was where I could be my best, although I didn't even know at that point it was going to be offered in schools. But the main thing is that I wanted something different. Pursuing a qualification in HMS meant I could open a gym in my area, something that I really felt I needed to do. Where I grew up, the people were very poor and they were always saying, "Hey Hlo, we depend on you. You go out there and do your best. 11 So there was also this pressure of having to do things not just for me but also for the community because they had this trust in me. They saw me as somebody who had the potential to change their lives. I always feel that sense of connection with my community,
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CHAPTER FOUR THE STORIED NARRATIVES
you know. I just don't look at my family, but my family and the people that were so supportive. I have always wanted to change their lives too.
What I realised in the four years at university was that there wasn't a single African female pursuing HMS. I felt very strongly about this, and so that pressure of proving that I'm a female and that I can do anything. Human Movement Studies was exactly what I needed, I hate being an ordinary person. When I really think about it, I identified with HMS and being a teacher precisely because it was going to give me a chance to be with people and I could never see myself alone, sitting in an office.
I struggled. Imagine being expected to do gymnastics at 18 or 19 years. You don't just learn gymnastics at that age, it's a bit late. As much as I did my work and my grades were good, I demanded for more time to be given to us to prepare for our practical. I got into a lot trouble with the White lecturers because they could not identify with African females who were as direct and confident as I was. I mobilised the students and we approached the lecturer about the assessment and those aspects of the course content.
I think that waS a good step for us to take and I feel proud to have been part of the committee who were instrumental in bringing about some change in the curriculum and assessment procedures. Although I struggled with PhYSiology, the relationship between the lecturer and myself, a White gentleman, was very "open" and he offered extra classes.
I found it very interesting. I managed two distinctions in my first year at Unizul and I ended up being one of the top students in the Human Movement classes.
Being the "head" of the hostel gave me the opportunity to start a gym and aerobics class for my floor mates. The communication and closeness developed later into the Women's Interest Group where we discussed issues that were close to my heart, like politics and women's issues. I really grew from that. My experiences at home created that pressure in me to prove myself as a woman, and actually engaging in what we wanted and didn't want happening to us espeCially as African women. Friends that would always come to mind would be Zodwa Msimang, who is the Director of Omame Investments Group, a communications company in Westville. She was also very instrumental in making sure that we'd come together to find that common ground to work from. Hlengiwe is a teacher who kept me in touch with the outside world. Very often she would come to the prison to teach my classes and I would do the same for her.
Working against the odds; "Bongudunga Secondary School"
I went to this school particularly because it was poor, because it was a joke of a school. I had a choice of applying to the boarding school just down the road but with my personal experiences at boarding school I did not want anything to do with it. I opted to apply to this school, not far from where I spent many years of my childhood.
I knew the people from around, it was where I was born and the people know me. I knew that they were not interested in their children's education, but I could make home visits, interact with parents and encourage them to participate in school committees and meetings.
Many of the learners were squatters who ran away from home or surrounding areas because of the violence. Many of them stayed alone renting rooms in the area. Many of them were much older than me, some as old as twenty-seven.
CHAPTER FOUR THE STORIED NARRATIVES
Teaching from the heart of hope
I wanted to teach in this school, God wanted me to be there at that time. There was such chaos. You can imagine a school with an enrolment of seven hundred pupils, with no running water and no toilets. The students had to go to the neigh boring homes to make use of the toilet. People would come into the school and steal things and I was aware that it wasn't people from very far off, that these were people coming from around the school and perhaps students themselves. Coming from a similar background and from the same community I think I was better positioned to understand first of all why that was happening. People were stealing windows and doors to sell them or to build their own squatters, I understood the thinking behind this. But for me it was important that students understand that this is their school and no one owns this school except them, that the government is not interested if the school is there or not, the government does not have anything to lose even if the school is closed down.
The results of the learners were terrible. Although I would have loved to teach HMS at Bongudunga Secondary School, it was just out of the question. I knew how important it was to create an environment for teaching and learning to take place.
There was this song that I always listened to when I struggled with the crisis that I faced in this school. It is a gospel song that gave me the strength in moments of despair.
I will lift up my eyes to the hills From where cometh my help The Lord which made Heaven and Earth
He said he would not suffer Thy foot, thy foot to be moved
The Lord which keepeth thee He will not slumber or sleep
Oh thy Lord is thy keeper
The Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand, Upon thy right hand
Oh the sun shall not smite thee by day Nor the moon by night He shall pre-serve thy soul
Even forever more My help, my help, my help, A 11 of my help cometh from the Lord ...
I could see that there was a need for change and I was the person for that change. I knew that when I got there I would be able to do things that I wouldn't be able to do elsewhere.
I needed patience if I had to change anything in this school. I needed to be patient with the system, patient with the students and patient with myself.
And the help came ...
Mr Myesa was the new male principal appointed to the school. He was Someone who had been to the same university as me, and he really supported me in what I wanted to do. If he was not there at that time, I would never have been able to get through to the staff who were predominantly male and who really didn't understand who this Hlo was was. They commented that perhaps I wanted to be too big in a very small space. The female staff
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