CHAPTER IV: FINDING AND DISCUSSION
A. Finding
2. Sasak Language and Culture
96
97 There are two connotation meanings of Melaik. First is taking the responsibility from daughter’s parentsdue to the existence of mutual love between the couples. Second is a noble or good deed of the boy. Sasak boy, in the persuade of marrying (via elopement) his prospective wife from her parents’ responsibility or his prospective parent-in-law based on love, is regarded as kesatria (noble). In melaik there is no any influence or forces from a possible third person.
There are some reasons of committing melaik. First Sasak People’s philosophy about descendent of humans in the world is through woman. Sasak woman has dignity and glorious prestige which may not be compared with animals or materials. Melamar (proposing) is assumed as a bargaining process, which is similar to the commerce or business. Sasak People assume that proposing and asking the women are comparable to animals and materials. Second, ‘ine’ (woman) refers to the largest thing.
Ine is very significant at the entire aspects of Sasak People’s life.
Everything in largest size or as a source ofsomethingis addressed ine.
The biggest house is addressed inen bale; the biggest rice field is addressed inen bangket, the owner of weeding party is addressed inen gawe; source of wealth is addressed inen dowe; source of money is addressed inen keepeng; and mother is addressed inen kanak and so on. Sasak people never address men (man/husband) for all of them. All of the expressions above reflect that ine is very significant in the entire aspects of Sasak People’s lives.
98 Sasak People (SPl) will never give and sell their daughter as things and animals. If a boy wants to get married with their daughter, the boy ought to elop her. The boy must show his commitment by melaik or elopement of his prospective wife. Sasak boy will get a high-risk, if in melaik or elopement process is known by his prospective wife’s family. He must keep strong enough and fighting to defend his prospective wife if she is seized. He must sacrifice his soul to keep and protect his prospective wife.
The historical account of Adat melaik (Elopement tradition) particularly in relation to its advent in the Sasak People (SPI) remains controversial among anthropolgists. Some argue that Melaik is genuinely inherited from the Sasak ancestors and a cultural ritual descent back to the Sasak people ancestors. Sasak culture has a lot in common with Balinese Hindu culture. Sasak People embrace the philosophy of Melaik, which researcher dicussed in this chapter. On the other hand, others hold the view that Melaik or elopement is a borrowed culture (immitation) from Hindu Bali, and Melaik had never been practiced by Sasak People’s ancestors prior to the arrival of Balinese Hindu in Lombok Island
Nonetheless, the concept Melaik of Sasak People is distinct from Balinese, Kawin-Lari (Elopement). In the latter happens to be the case when the prospective groom and bride are prohibited to marry, due to beda kasta (distinguished family caste). The girl leaves her house for getting married without his parent’s permission. Based on the Hindu
99 principle, a high caste Bali woman (Balinese noblewoman) may not marry with a low caste man (non blue-blooded family). If this happens, the Balinese woman must follow his husband status (fatrelenial system):
“Bagi masyarakat Hindu perempuan yang berbangsa Brahmana tidak diperkenankan untuk menikah dengan peria yang berkasta lebih rendah. Jika hal tersebut dilakukan maka ritual pernikahan haruslah mengikuti perubahan status”
http//cakepane. blogspot. com/.2010/05/ kawin-lari-salah-satu-alternatif.” Diundo pada tanggal 16-05-2014.
“The baliness women with noble status, such as Brahmana, are not allowed to marry men with lower caste, as otherwise the marriage ritual is subject to status change.”
The concept above indicated that Balinese Hindu do Kawin-Lari (elopement) because of the availablity of the social and economics egregation. Kawin-Lari or elopement is the only wayto avoid parent’s disagreement. Hence, the concept underlying the two marital practices (Kawin-Lari of Hindu Bali and melaik of Sasak People) is distinct.
The concept of Melaik in Sasak People is a cultural product that depicts ‘Sikap sateria’ (noble enactment) to get his prospective wife and abdicate her parent‘s responsibility. Sasak People esteem woman’s dignity and glory prestige. ‘Dengan nine tundun nyawe’, means a woman as a bunch of soul. Tundun nyawe refers to the dignity of Sasak family arefound in Sasak women. Sasak daughter may not be disturbed and humiliated. If someone disturbes and humiliates Sasak woman or daughter, her family will be angry and fighting to die because of lile- malu (feeling embarrased). Sasak People (SPl) also believe that the existence of human beingsin the world because of woman. Woman should not be
100 compared to materials and animals. Woman is a glorious creature which may not be commercialized or requested like materials and animals.
Melamar or proposing equals to requesting. Sasak women have an authority to elect the prospective of their husband without the interference of third person.
Both concepts of elopement portrayed in the term of Balinese and Sasak people are different. Sasak People have slogan; Adat bersendikan Agama, conducting adat or costumary event based on religious principles.
The researcher discussed Melaik or elopement process of Sasak People in brief below.
b. Melaik or Elopement Process
Melaik is one of the marriage systems of Sasak People in Lombok Island, West Nusa Tenggara. Mojority of Sasak People embraced Islam, but many of them practice marriage by Melaik (Elopement). Sasak adult boys elope their prospective wifes without permission from their prospective parent-in-law. In the following, the researcher delineated the process of Melaik in three steps; Pra-Melaik, Melaik and pasca Melaik (Pre-elopement, elopement and post-elopement).
Pra-Melaik (pre-elopement) comprises three phases: Subandar (Mate matching), Midang (dating) and Nenari (persuading for marrying).
Firstly, Subandar is a matematcher who contacts the woman if a man is being interested in her. The boy entrusts his regard to subandar (matematcher) to handle over. After his regard and love have been
101 accepted by the woman, the man may come for midang. Secondly, Midang/Bepenyayangan is the man’s comingto the woman’s house (the dating norm in Sasak culture). For the first time, he will be welcome by the woman’s parents or woman’s honorable family. During the time is a set of judgement criteria for the man from the woman’s family (e.g., expression, action, manner, ways of the man’s arrival and fashion). When a man and woman are carrying on a conversation during the dating hours, they sit on the sesangkok (Terrace). They must sit on the sekepat (gazebo) that is usually found in front of the Sasak People’s house. If the man meets the acceptable criteria, he is allowed to come for dating next time. Thirdly, Nenari (persuading for eloping), is the process of expressing the intention to elop. If the woman accepts the man’s proposal, both of them make a promise when and where (time and place) to elop, the meeting spot for eloping. The elopement occurs definitely due to their own willingness and awareness without any external forces (third person’s interference).
Elopement should be done at night when the woman is usually picked up from her parents’ house. If the man does not meet the above criteria, he will get ‘denda adat’ (customary fine).
The customary fine will be applied if a man commits the following mistakes, according to Lalu Fuad and Lalu Arjuna (see appendex 1) which include 1. ‘Ngambe Rayang’ is the condition when the man forces a woman to get married without her agreement. 2. ‘Ngamek Saken’ is elopping a woman at another place or village, or it is not from the woman’s
102 own house. 3. ‘Kale Ning Siang’ is the situationon when elopement is done on day-time. All of the aforementioned disabidiences will lead to the customary fine. The amount of dende adat (customary fine) depends on the agreement of ‘krame adat’ (the members of cultural institutions).
Despite of this, Sasak People also have practiced ‘dende pati’ (death punishment) with the mathematical pattern ‘seket kurang sekeq’ (forty nine of golden coins). This traditional practice heppens when someone
‘berzinah’ (fornicating) with his aunt or practices a prohibited marriage according to Islam and cultural law. Dende pati was proposed by forty nine members of krame dese. A long time ago, the total number of members of krame dese was fifty persons.All members were asked about a proper punishment that would be taken with respect to the case (fornication). Forty nine members said “matek” (kill), and one said
‘maafang wah aneh, sugulaneleq dese ne’ (forgive him/herand take him/herout from the village). This single voice favoring the fornicator should be paid by golden coins. The last mistake is ‘Belongkak’ the costumary fine will be applicable if the bridegroom hasa single elder brother or sister. The amount of the customary fine is dependent on her elder brother’s and elder sister’s demand.
c. The Rule of Melaik and Aji Krama suci
103 Melaik (Elopment) is also recognized by people from other parts of Indonesia as ‘selarian’, which is often perceived negative. In the Sasak culture, elopping a girl should be doneby a delegate and may not by the prospective husband. ‘Bebait’ (picking-up a girl) must be delegated by a man and woman to accompany the bridegroom until getting married. The prospective wife may not be accommodated directly at prospective husband’s house, rather at the authoritarian’s house, such as a head of village’s house or the honorable bride’s family’s house.
The prospective husband family must send a delegate to the prospective wife’s family for giving information about the martial intention.
This process is called ‘sejati-selabar’, which must be done before the last three days. Sejati-selabar is used to hand over the information of the elopement to the woman’s kith and kin that she is ready to get married, and to avoid any negative assumption about her, such as lost or passed away. If sejati-selabar is accepted, the prospective husband’s family delegates someone to pick up ‘wali nikah’ (someone who is responsible for the bride’s life, and is usually asked to declare a marriage on the bride’s side). The ‘Pisuke’ or ‘Mahar’ (brideprice) can be discussed after the ‘Ijab Khabul’ (wedding vow). This should be accomplished within at least a month. The total of bridprice accords with the economic condition of prospective husband, or dependent on the result of negotiation of the delegate or ‘Pembayun’ speaker, Pembayun can be the one who is knowledgeable in the sphere or tokoh adat (authoritarians).
104 After the brideprice has been accepted, both sides discuss the time for ‘begawe’ (wedding ceremony), and performing ‘sorong-serah aji krama suci’, and nyongkolan (wedding parade as in Sasak culture). Sorong-serah aji karma suci/nyongkolan is the process to measure ‘tingkat ketauan’
(dignity or stratification) of ‘Pengantin Mame’ (bride) regarding the ‘adat’
(Customary law) and norm of Sasak People (SPl). SPl recognize three social stratifications; Jajar Karang (commoner); Madya (noble); and Utama (Raden).
Stratifications above ditermined the difference of prospective husband’s Aji KramaSuci. Aji Krama Suci is included in the words and expressions to declare marriage commitment. Sorong-serah is performed by using the language of adat (sacred customary language as in SPI) and art. Each family of bride and bridegroom declares Pembanyun speakers to accomplish adat ceremony.
Nyongkolan (wedding parade) is performed from groom’s family to the bridegroom’s family, as a symbol of apology. The bride and bridegroom must march about two kilometers long before arriving to bride’s parent’s house. The parade is done in order that the couple is publicly known to have married, especially the bridegroom. She has been getting married and will not drive the negative image. Nyongkolan must be conducted on the same day, usually on the afternoon, so that many people can witness the condition of bridegroom’s body whether she has been pregnant or not (“shotgun” marriage has negative conotation in the
105 Sasak People community). If nyongkolan is conducted at night, it will drive negative image. The bridegroom may be assumed to be pregnant before marriage, assumption on marrying due to a pregnancy (shotgun marriage).
Lalu Arjuna Said (see appendex 1) Aji karma suci for each stratification comprises three elements such as Nampak lemah, the earth where humans live; Olen-olen, the symbol of property; and Pemegat, is the witness’s fee. Aji karma suci 33; nampak lemah 7, olen-olen 26 is for Jajar Karang. Aji karma suci 66; nampak lemah 20, ole-olen 46 is for Madya. Aji karma suci 100; nampak lemah 40, olen-olen 60 is for Utame.
Pemegat selakse is ten thounsands of golden coins, which could be fullfiled by Utame only or equalvalent to Rupiah. Pemegat for Jajar Karang and Madya are dependent on the ablity of the bride family. Nampak lemah is symbolized by traditional blanket, and olen-olen is symbolized by ancient coin or compared to Rupiah rate of change.
Aji krama suci is performed in language of art (theroyal ancient language, called ‘Pembayun language’) by Pembayun speakers from both families. The groom’s Pembayun is known as ‘Pembayun Penyorong’, and bridegroom’s ‘Pembayun’ is called ‘Pembanyun Penampi’. Before both of pembayun meet in lace-lace (the place where Aji Krama Suci discussed), pembayun from the groom side orders ‘pisulo’ to get information about preparation and readiness of welcoming the bride family’s pembayun. The denotation meaning of pisulo is obor (torch) and connotation meaning
106 refers to a delegate. The Pisulo’s expression in cultural event (CE) as data below:
(CE1) Pisulo: Bismillahhirrahmannirrahim, “Assamualaikum Wr. Wb.
Singgih, sewawuh ketampi salam ugame titiang wauh, Prep Adv Verb Adj Adj Psp Adv Well already accepted greeting Religious my this present Thank you for accepting my religious greeting
pingkalih titiang matur panembrame maring dumateng pare dane Conj Psp Verb Verb Prep Adv Prep AdF Again I say costomary greeting to all you I want to say again to all of you who have been sitting
at Paseban Sasak.
Hingkang same malungguh-malinggih maring paseban adat Sasak.
Prep Adv Verb Prep Adv
Who together sit at Paseban adat Sasak who have been sitting at Paseban Sasak.
Titiang peribadi miwah kang hanyerangin kiwe tengen lan ring Psp Adv Conj Adv Adj Adv Conj Prep
I myself and who accompany left right and at I am myself, and my friends on right, left and
untat dewek titiang puniki, matur Nede Lugrahe, Dumateng andike Adv Psp DmP Verb Verb Prep Psp behind I myself this say apologize to you
behind me, want to express Adat Greeting Nede Lugrahe, apologize us for being in front of all of you.
Thank you for accepting my religious greeting. I want to say again to all of you who have been sitting at Paseban Adat Sasak. I am myself, and my friends on left, right and behind me, want to express Adat Greeting Nede Lugrahe, apologize us for being in front of all of you.
Pembayun Penampi:
Inggih, tamiwe hingkang wauh rauh, sedayening pengandike Prep Psp Conj Aux Adv Conj N
Guest who already come base say You are welcome, the distinguished guests who have just come, based on what you say
apanhiku panembrame andike peribadi miwah dane same lungguh Artcle Adj Psp Adj Conj AdF Adv Verb the greeting you alone and men all sit
the greeting of you and also your friends
ring kiwe tengen lan ring pungkur andike, sampun titiang same Prep Adv Adv Conj Prep Adp PssP, Adv Psp Adv at left right and at back your already I together
107 on left, right and back, I and all of myself
hanampi daweq kodal malih pengandike daweq.
Adv DISC Conj Conj N DISC welcome what else say
have accepted already, and what else you want to say?
You are welcome, the distinguished guests who have just come, based on what you say, the greeting of you and also your friends on the left, right and back, I and all of myself have accepted already, and what else you want to say?
Pisulo:
Singgih, titiang matur tampiasih, sadurung dewek matur mekadi Prep Psp Verb Verb, Adv Psp Verb Adj
I say thanks all I say as Thank you very much. We want to express
dewek pindre, mapan dewek titiang puniki pisulo kiwale, titiang PssP N Mdf Mdf Psp Dmp Psp Adj Psp my propose exact I I this delegator only I my purpose. I am a delegator only
tandikayang antuk dane pembayun titiang sane mangkin mangsih Verb Prep AdF Psp PssP Mdf Adv Adv deligated by Pembayun my now now Still delegated by my Dane Pembanyun who is still
ring jabe, sumadyane titiang jagi ngelungsur pengandike, menawi Prep Adv Adv Psp DISC Verb N Conj
on way pretend I come information if still on the way. I am pretending to come to you to get the information, whether
paran salwiring undang-undang utawi uleman-uleman saking adoh Prep Adv Psp Conj PrN Prep Adv
whhether all guest or guest from far whether you are ready to welcome the guests who come from utawi saking pedek, napi sampun cawis utawi sampun atap, yan Conj Prep Adv Conj Adv Adv Conj Adv Adv Prep or from near wether already finish or already ready if near or far distance. If you have been ready
sampun atap utawi sampun cawis, mangde dane pembayun titiang Adv Adv Conj Adv Adv Conj AdF Psp Pssp already ready or already finish Mr speaker my
you have been ready, my pembanyun
gelis pareq….. ring arapan andike sami… Singgih wantah puniki Adj Verb Prep Adv Pssp Adv Pref Adv DmP soon come in front you all finish that atur titiang.
N PssP say my
will come to all of you soon…. Thank you, that is all.
108 Thank you very much. We want to express our purpose. I am a delegate that delegated by my Dane Pembanyun who is still on the way. I am pretending to come to you to get the information, whether you are ready to welcome the guests who come from near or far distance. If you have been ready, my pembanyun will come to all of you soon…. Thank you, that is all.
Pisulo as the first actor expressed his entire utterances Honorific Expression (HE) and Honorofic: Verbs matur, matur tampiasih, hanyarangin, ngelungsur, which referred to him and his friends; and Verbs tandikayang, pareq, which referred to the long distance referent / third person belonging to him. Verbs malungguh-malinggih, napi sampun cawis utawi sampun atap referred to the addressee and all the audiences around him. AdF titian, deweq titian referred to him, and dane pembayun pertained to long distance referent but still belonging to him. AdF pare dane hingkang and andika same referred to audiences and addressee. The entire utterances show that he was an illegible and humble pisulo by the expression Pisulo kuwale.
Pembanyun Penampi as the second actor expressed his entire utterances Honorific Expression (HE). Verb: hanampi, which referred to him and his friends. Verb: rauh, pengandike, and malungguh, which referred to the addressee and his friends. The entire utterances portray that he was an illegible and humble Pemabayun. When pisulo gained the information, Pembayun penyorong gets ready to face the pembayun penampi. Here are the following exressions of the Pembayun in (CE2). Pembayun Penyorong:
Singgih… sadurung titiang ngaturang sekadi unteng sumadyani utawi
109 Prep Adv Psp Verb Conj Adv Adj Conj
all we say as first information or Excuse me..; all of us want to give all of you the information about my midrate ring arepan andika, nanging titiang kepandikayang antuk kan Verb Prep Adv Psp Conj Psp Verb Conj Atcle Come in front you because I ordered by the coming. We come here because we have been allowed by the
utame dane kepala dese, utawi Dane Pengemong Krame maring Adv AdF N N Conj AdF Psp Adv Prep first head village or authoteriant culture of the first head village or the culture authoretariant of
“Tanak Awu Panegare” ping kalih dane kepale dusun, utawi Dane Adv artcl Adv AdF Conj AdF the second headvillage or
Tanak Awu; the second head village Tanak Awu Sekeq Urban or Pengembang Krame Maring “Tanak Awu Sekek”. Ping katri
AdF Adv Conj Adv Culture develover the third the developer of culture; and the third
dane Anderbe Karye. Sumadya titiang ngaturang Aji Krame Suci AdF Adj PssP Verb Adv
Pretending I give
the owner of the party.I am pretending to serve Aji Krame Suci the symbol of Adat “Dedare Nurhayati” is the daughter of Bapak Marwan, who
Lambang Adat “Dedare Nurhayati kapernah putri saking Bapak N (BJ) AdF Psp Conj (BI) AdF Prep (BI) AdF symbol of Adat “Dedare Nurhayati” is the daughter of Bapak
Marwan, magenah ring Mentokok, Penujak, Kecamatan Praya Barat Psp Verb Prep Adv Adv Adv
Marwan live in
Marwan, who lives in Mentokok, Penujak, Kecamatan Praya Barat Sane sampun bejangkap sareng Terune Jakok kapernah putre Adv Adv Verb Conj (BI)AdF Psp Adv Adv Now already mirage with
She has been married to Terune Jakok, the son of Bapak Natsir magenah ring “ Tanak Awu, Kec. Pujut (BI)AdF Psp Verb Prep Adv Adv live in
Bapak Natsir, who lives in the urban of Tanak Awu Sekeq, Tanak Awu VillagePujut District
Aji Krame : 66 (sawidak-sawikse) Nampak Lemah : 20 (kalih dase)
Olen : 46 (catur dase sad)
Sesirah, Salin dede, Sedah Lanjaran dan Pemegat (pemutus bicara) Rp. 50.000,
110 Excuse me..; all of us want to give all of you the information about my coming. We come here because we have been allowed by the first head of village or the culture chair of Tanak Awu; the second head of village Tanak Awu Sekeq Urban or the developer of culture;
and the third the owner of the party.I am pretending to serve Aji Krame Suci the symbol of Adat “Dedare Nurhayati” is the daughter of Bapak Marwan, who lives in Mentokok, Penujak, Kecamatan Praya Barat. She has been married to Terune Jakok, the son of Bapak Natsir, who lives in the urban of Tanak Awu Sekeq, Tanak Awu Village, Pujut District, with Aji Krame suci as the following:
Pembayun Penampi:
Singgih…. Sadurung titiang nampi titiang ngiring ngetang dumun Prep Adv Psp Verb Psp Verb Verb Adv all us welcome we follow count first Thank you…. All of us have welcomed you, we count first
mandane dane - dane kang dadi saksi egar sajroning Pekayunan.
Conj AdF Conj Prep Psp Prep Conj Adj
And that become witeness in order as willingness and all of you become witness as agree as our willingness.
Thank you…. All of us have welcomed you, we count first, and all of you become witness as agree as our willingness.
Pembayun Penyorong:
singgih… pare dane agung, dewek tendikayang jagi ngetang Prep Adv AdF Adj Psp Pred Conj Verb all great I ordered become count Thank you…. Ladies and gentlemen, I am asked to count
Aji Krame suci penganten siq sampun tebaos sareng kekalih N Psp Conj Adv Adv Adv Conj bride which already discuss together second Aji Krame Suci of bride and bridegroom that have been discussed just now with
Dane Pembayun siq makin nike,… Lugre…. Saq, due, telu AdF Psp Prep Adv DmP Verb
speaker at now this with Dane Pembanyun
…….telong dase…..enam dase.
Thank you…. Ladies and gentlemen, I am asked to count Aji Krame Suci of bride and bridegroom that have been discussed just now with Dane Pembanyun. Excuse… one, two, and three…
thirty…..sixty
Pembayun Penyorong as the first actor expressed his entire utterances in honorific expression (HE): AdFdane Anderbe Karye, Dedare Nurhayati kapernah putrid saking Bapak Marwan and Terune
111 Jakok kapernah putre Bapak Natsir which referred to long distance referents which belong to him. Verb bejangkap referred to the referent that has low social status. If the referent was high status, Pembayun Pemyorong should express Verb matunggal kayun antuk…..
Pembayun Penyorong’s Expression was responded by Pembanyun Penampi with the same HE or utterances. All of their utterances indixcdthey are agree with the status of the bride. There will not be discursive dispute of future AdF to them and their children.
The difference of Aji krame suci raises the difference of AdF foreach of stratifications. The dictions or language level,Base Jamak (BJ)as low level and Base Alus (BA)/honorific (H)as high level,are very considered to declare Aji karme suci. These differences occur in everyday interaction. The stratification differences or ascribed statuses colored the Sasak people’s daily interaction in respecting and honoring each other. In the modern era, the socio-culture of Sasak People ares not only sustained by ascribed status, but also by achieved and assigned statuses.
The achieved and assigned statuses impacted the socio-culture of Sasak people, even though in cultural events and everyday exchanges.
The status differences contribute to the rule or the way them communicating and speaking. Sasak People always consider the way the addresser and addressee speak. Keeping strong enough on the Base Alus (BA)/ Honorific Principle (HP)of Sasak Language is a symbol of ‘Dengan naon adat’(knowing norm and rule of speaking). SPl are very defensive