THE SPECULUM. November, 1917.
There was a young student called Shank, As prosector right as a bank;
Unfortunately,
Was a Yid, so that he
To the Tab. took his way—drew a blank.
On alternate forenoons Simon may be noticed wearing a harassed look. We would suggest to Simon that he should really marry the girl.
It is about time Dicky gave up bullying "the best beloved of the twelve apostles" in class. The first and original best- beloved foretold the coming of a Beast who would worry the faithful. His number was to be 666 or 6o6, we forget which.
We don't know what Dicky's telephone number is, but we should think there is probably some connection.
Which girl was it that made the awful mistake in recog- nition ( ?) of the embryology slide in the prosector's exam.?
We have just finished our fifteenth and final blush for her.
We would like to enquire at what date Gilbert the Filbert received his appointment as batman to Ettleson. We secretly think there may be sundry perquisites such as soap, livers, mesenteries at the shortest notice.
FIRST YEAR NOTES.
Alas! and alack! with much of the latter in it, for we have now reached "the end of a perfect year," and with it all our loved ones we leave behind. Some even among our- selves will be remaining for another year to labour in Egyp - tian darkness, and to elucidate for coming generations the mystery of the fate of a particle of food in the bowels of the mosquito. Some also, out of a pure spirit of kindness to next year's humanity. will remain to explain the perplexities of the frog's anus, or the wonders of double-yolked egg and its relations to the application of the venereal disease to the hen, or maybe the rooster—that wretched being!
But of those who will depart and settle down to the task of doing the medical course, we must include, and bid a fair good-bye to: "Sweet 'Cella," "Loveliest Dorothea"—
who is setting out on the treacherous flood of first year love on the borders of the lake; the ancient "Red Indian," Leo, and the other boys. Nor must we forget "Grub," who is destined to join the ranks of the "great unwashed."
November, 1917. THE SPECULUM. 227 Things of late are becoming most drastic in the med.
line, especially when Prof. Masson, in a happy farewell speech, goes so far as to express opinion that "next year he'll see new faces." "But, sir, all the girls are dreams," I answer.
.I.heir sweet characters and innocent lives being thus far unpol- luted by the nasty scenes and trite coarse jokes of second Year
The year has been sadly drifting to ruin, and its "even tenor" has of late been most brutally interrupted by the love Passages of marriage-stricken maidens, and their bachelor tax admirers. Thus it is not an uncommon sight to see the
M
any candidates for the fair ones each waiting most patiently s turn for a word with the selected damsel.Answers to Queries.
Dead Heat : The betting now stands io to 1, bar 3, and evens Dixon and Aitchison, with 2 to i Mooney.
Anxious: No, Ryan has sold his shares in the Club House.
Family troubles, and pressure of exams.; however, he hopes next Year to be able to give more time to the f redress of
reshers' troubles.
Seldom: We think so. Fat is now due for a pass.
Outsider: "Yes; it is possible to be a "real devil." Only under certain conditions can one become intoxicated on Passing the C. and U.B., or the Australia. We advise a Private interview with—well some of the real 'uns.
Dr. Sweet: No, the question has never beth satisfactorily answered. Try again.
Rime of the Ancient Lecturer.
(A. Ross, Esq.), It is an ancient lecturer, And he stoppeth one at three;
With his long brown beer and thripenny pie That he always cadged from me.
The Tavern doors are opened wide, And I am the next one in.
I've found a bob, and the ale grows flat Whiles old Herb. sips his gin.
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228 THE SPECULUM. November, 1917.
A damsel fair across the bar, She sets a trap for me;
She smiles in vain as my beer I drain, For a sickly sight is she.
Then spake the ancient lecturer, With ancient voice and thin :
"Here, none of that, young Jimmy Woods, Remember the poor has-bin.
"There was a time when I was young, And the next drink wasn't the last;
Beware the awful avalanche, Beware the fibro-blast.
"I drank by day, I drank by night, I never knocked off ere three;
Odd times I'd lecture the first year meds."—
And a scornful laugh laughed he.
"I used to watch the morning sun Rise from his fiery sea ;
Sometimes there'd be a brace of him, More often there'd be three.
"I used to see pink serpents there, And lizards, a kind of cross
Of yellowish frog and red-striped eel—
Well shot was Albert Ross.
"'Twas there I saw the woolly worms, I used to watch 'em eat.
'Twas there, I say, young man, that first I saw the Spirochaete.
"'Twas there I met the Spirochaete, Through him I lost my job."
But here he sought with glittering eye The change left from my bob.
Forgotten was his glorious past, Forgot the Spirochaete;
He brushed aside the H2O, And drank his whisky neat.
As in a dream I paid for him, And from the bar I fled;
I fled the ancient lecturer, To save more beer-shed.
—Count. Terlunch.
CLARENCE No. 2 CIGARETTES
Made by Carreras Ltd.. London.
A Pure Virginia Cigarette with a Soft Delicate Flavor.
1/3 per Oz. 9/- per lb. Box.
November. 1917. TI ill SPECULUM. 229