222 THE SPECULUM. November, 19 17•
Cantor, God bless him, has office more crept into notice.
Working on the wharves seems to have weakened his consti - tution, and to his dismay he recently found a patch of mem- brane in his throat. He went out to Fairfield, where it was discovered that he had swallowed the patch. He was give n
2,000 units of anti-toxin to take home and use, but business instincts got him down and he still has the stuff, for which he invites tenders.
It is definitely asserted that Jacko does not wear corsets.
Jealous of his beautiful shape, some of the talent basely cir- culated the story that Jacko's charms were false. This Is not so; indeed Jacko is even more striking in the nude.
Charles Varley seems to be hardly himself again, for as the catechism bath it—"The chief end of man —." 14e manages to ride a motor-bike, but nevertheless wears strained look. a
Harry Savige disappeared for a time. Fear of the laW and domestic entanglements were suggested, but it appears that there was a horse at the bottom of it.
Several of the year have given up smoking. This is causing great inconvenience to some of us, who have been prac - tically driven to buying smokes. Some fellows are very incon - siderate.
Some of the year are falling victims to the golf vice.
Adrian is one of them, and he complains that the game ; 5, too dangerous and too expensive ; he has already lost one bal l and cracked his stick. Varley is hardly a champion yet, nor will he be much good while he persists in the ugly and awkward position which he has adopted, and which Is already known widely as " The Circum Stance."
At the Fever Hospital commenced to bellow for its it cut a howl in half,' and howled no more. Truly it's father, especially in a large
another child took fright, an d father. Catching sight of Yoffa, swallowed the second half. I t a wise child that knows its owo city like Melbourne.
THIRD YEAR NOTES.
Dr. Sinclair has been away for a few lectures—gather ing fresh information, we presume, regardiing the absorbing topic of splash created.
7. November, 1917. , THE SPECULUM. 223
\Ve have finished lectures in Bacteriology. We went home after one lecture thoroughly downhearted, realising the atPelessness was of things, for the conclusion we had to arrive
There are bugs upon our toe nails, There are bugs upon our hair;
We may antisept the blighters, But the bugs will still be there;
They are deep down in our sweat glands, Till they come up for some air.
So what's the use of worrying,
5 The bugs are everywhere.
N.B.—Clear enunciation is imperative.
Lo An old dame came into Out-patients the other day.
ae ing at Dr. Wick, she remarked, with a marked Irish
► aricAeut, Sure, but there's a nice looking doctor for yar"—
I
' followed that up by telling him, "It's just meself that's t quite gone in the legs, since I saw you, Doctor."Ws wonderful how hard the practice of medicine makes one.
,c(xild never have treated the shrinking artist's model as
! Doctor.
r\IL did—and such a sweet camisole as she had, too!
de
Ys. are getting down in earnest to Mat. Med. these ve3rs. Personally, if we could catch the bounders who in- nted about six different systems of measurement, we should take enormous pleasure in throttling them.to WhY the dickens can't the powers that be . be content or il u, se a graduated dropper, and measure everything in drops
undreds of drops?
_ To our mind, the pint is, after all, the only reasonable unit f measure. See how simple it is—Six pints, one drunk!
But there, again, it's just simply a matter of capacity;
some bloated creatures prefer a schooner.
aullPGentlemre
vious records Th brokerostaten, beaten,in bust. Cliff hasWe by
palated
u n. e P Kg. here declare
rteen
as prostates in one morning. Is there such a thing p c,_. Prostate palpation mania, comparable, for example, to
cigarette rolling fingers"?
the Ce'rung in ate every ctur is a new method of atracting exami iner's l attention. le
Wee
shall take notice if itt works.
Doctor Plowie has been in great form lately. If there kaatnY,one who can take a joke better than our lecturer in
'led, we should like to meet him.
Mr. Cass, surgeon, has again lifted our year from the slough of mediocrity—a letter in the daily papers, no less!
Guythorpe still suffering from aphasia. Delighted to note he has quite got over his attack of agraphia.
Count is going strong. He has the good wishes of the entire year. Put it over them, Count.
From the Path. Notes:—
"False or pseudo-angina may occur apart from unusual exertion or emotion, perhaps while the patient is in bed.
Shocking! It is a terrible warning to us to keep out of strange beds. In fact, it would be safer never to go to bed at all, considering the large number of deaths that seem to occur there.
SECOND YEAR NOTES.
A's for the .Asses who swot and who brag, B is for Beatrice with golf sticks and Bag.
C stands for Carty(that tells you enough) ; D links with -arling, and stands, too, for Duff.
E is for Esme with charming sweet leer;
F does for Funnel, very handy with beer.
G stands for Grier, and also for Goat, H is for Hudson, who's in the same boat.
I am the fool who is writing this poem;
J is for Joe; always sober—at home.
K stands. for Kelly, whom Dicky loves best.
L take this tip; give your tongue an earned rest.
M's for the Man ( ?) who crawled in at the last.
N's for the Night we will have when we've passed.
O for O'Sullivan, six hairs on each side;
P is for Pierce, helps poor Rees to backslide.
Q is the question the Devil will ask;
R stands for Reggie, who's getting too fast.
S is for Sweetness, and also Miss Shan;
T does for Trumpy, who may be a man.
U is in prac. work, and makes U swear so;
✓ stands for Vi., who's an Honorary Pro.
W for Wog, who's been out on the slam;
X are the marks we will get next Xam.
Y do we suffer this torture and pain?
Z can't answer this question, that's plain.
224 THE SPECULUM. November, 1917•