BH5HIB1

at wholesale prices

Madewithheavyduly reinforced10 x 10basefabric, coatedonbolh sides with polyethylene, our tarpaulins are lOOVrwaterproofwithhigh resistanceto tears, rips and^{weathering Suntrealed}

The hems haveextrastrengthnylon ropesewninwith reinforcedcornersandthickbrassgrommetsevery threefeettoassurethatourattractivesky blue colored tarpaulinswill lastandlast Callusfor alistof heavier fabrics.

Heavy10mil thickforcommercial,farm&homeuses

•Trucks *Pools •Firewood ^•Hay/Cotton

-Cars ^•Boats •Equipment ^•Camping

AMERICAN WHOLESALETARPAULINMFG.

319

W

17THSTREET-L.A..CA90015 U.S. (800)421-9055•CA(800)252-2295 Size Quantity Price Ea. Total

Kx10 $ 700

10x12 9.00

12x16 1400

10x20 1600 .

12x24 22.00

16x20 2.100

18x24 27,00

12x46 33.00

20x30 39,00

20x40 5900

26x40 75,00

30x60 99 00

40x50 120,00

Add$300handlingloreachtarp Califresidentsadd6^l/29rsaleslax

(CUSTOMSIZESAVAIL.) TOTAL Name

Address

Phone#

Sendcheck,moneyorder orcharge Card#

_AmX. _M/C_

Exp.Dale

AllordersshippedUPSfreightcolled Youmayreturn yourtarpwithin10daysfor arefundless freightand handling

ntt

October-November,19S3 61

JoKePa& ^e

The

yearwas 1995,

and

at lastacure for the

common

^{cold had been dis-}

covered. Afteryearsofresearch,scientists

had learned that chewing tea leaves

would

bring an immediate end to the dreadedcold

symptoms.

Unfortunately, peoplefound tea leaves to beespecially unpleasanttotaste,anditwasonlyafter health workers talked long and hard that thepopulation couldbepersuaded to trythe

new

remedy.

One

suchgroup of effective persuaders was located in

Nome,

Alaska,

and

ahotline

was

setup there for people to

phone

in for coun-

seling.

To

advertisethisuniqueprogram,

full page ads were taken out with the headline: "Eat Tea?

Phone Nome!"

Nicki Quellette Visalia, California

"Theonlything1saidtohim was, youdon't havetofilloutany forms!"

The

story is told ofa

young

Czech- oslovakian, aRussianofficer,alittleold lady,

and

an attractive

young woman

riding

on

atrain. Shortlyafterthe train entered a dark tunnel, the passengers heard a kiss, thena loudslap.

The young

girl thought: "Isn't that

odd?

The Russian triedto kiss theold lady

and

not

me?"

The

oldladythought:"Thatisa

good

girlwithfinemorals.

The

Russian officer Czech isasmartfellow;

and

Igetslapped.

"

The

Czech thought: "Perfect. I kiss the hack of

my

hand, clout a Russian

officer,

and

get

away

with it."

David Hockenberry Troutman, North Carolina Frank: "Elmer, alcoholkilleda brother ofmine."

Elmer: "//did?"

Frank: ^"Yep, he was run over by a heertruck.

"

John

Williams Randlett,

Oklahoma

thought: "That hestealsakiss

A

^littleboy

was

visitingafarmforthe

first time.

He

was taken out to see the lambs and finally, he built up

enough

courage to pat one.

He was

delighted.

"Why,they

make them

outofblankets!"

hecried.

Herbert

Grimm

Barnetts Creek, Kentucky Uncle

Marvin

always had bad luck.

Once

hefoundamagic lamp, rubbed it,

and agenieappeared

and

bestowedon Uncle

Marvin

the

Midas

touch.

And

for therestofhislife,everythinghetouched turned intoa muffler.

Cindy

Horn

Rienzi, Mississippi

"Billhasa seriousaffliction,"saidthe eye doctor. "Everything he looks athe seesdouble.

"

"Poorfellow,"saidthe doctor'sneigh- bor. "Isuppose he

found

^ithardtogeta job.

"

"Notat all,"replied thedoctor. "The gas

company snapped him up and now

he'sreading meters."

Lisa Wills Perryville, Missouri Q:

Why do you

have to wholesale a

cow

withno tail?

A: Becauseyou cannot retailthem.

Kirby

Brown

Brookhaven, Mississippi

Inthe

town

ofTridainia, three little

Trids were walking

down

the street

when

they

saw

the Rabbi.

Now

the Rabbihasn'tseen daylightforfiveyears, sothe threelittleTridswalkedupto

him

andstarted talking to him.

The

four of

them

walked

and

walked

and

theyjust happened tojaywalk. Well, to jaywalk

inTridainia isa deathsentence.

They

all had togo before thejudge.

The

judge told

them

that they had a choicebetweengettingkicked orstoned to death.

The

first Trid chose to be kicked to death. So, the townspeople gathered

and

kicked

him

todeath.

The

second

and

third Trid chose to gothe

same

way.

The

judge then asked the Rabbi and the Rabbi said, "Til take kicks, too."

The

judge replied, "-Silly

Rabbi, kicks arefor Trids."

Byronna

Sharp Liberty Center, Ohio Q:

Why was

the sorceressangryatthe sorcerer?

A: Becausehe

made

ahexistremark!

Brian Snyder Jewett, Ohio

If

you

froze and cloned basketball star Abdul-Jabbar, you'd get an iced

Kareem

clone.

Jennifer Jefferson Roseburg, Oregon

Charlie, the Greenhand

"Charlie's trying tokick the videogamehabit^. . . !"

The NationalFUTUREFARMER»illpas

KM

fareach jokeselectedfor publicationonthispare P^O.BoxI51MI.Alexandria.\A22)09 Incast-ofduplication,payment^willbelor thefirstone

JokesmustheaddressedtotheSanonalFUTURE FARMER,

ecetved Contributionscannot beacknowledgedorreturned

62 The\ationalFl TlRE

FARMER

S

^{> -:}

^//

World famous all-leatherhandcrafted boots

&

leatheraccessories

Made

inthe U.S.A.

/^jiW'

^{I Stylesshown,lefttoright:Stock No.7447,chili}cowboots;#67411,chilicowtaperedbelt,

^JJ^^^^J

#29532 & #M7090H,naturalboabeltandbuckle;and StockNo.8114,naturalboaboots

Tony Lama

Co., Inc. •

1137 Tony Lama

St. ^• El

Paso, Texas 79915

What a ^difference a family can make

Fifty

years

ago,

when

ruralareas

were hard

pressedfor

petroleum

products,

Farmland

Industries

and

its

family

of

Double

Circle