C H A P T E R 7
From Courtship to Universal Properties:
Research on Dating and Mate Selection, 19 5 0 to 2 0 0 3
Catherine A. Surra Christine R. Gray Tyfany M. J. Boettcher
Nathan R. Cottle Adam R. West
For several decades, dating and mate selec- tion have been cornerstones of research on the sociology of the family, social psychol- ogy, interpersonal communication, and the hybrid of all of these fields, family stud- ies. Traditionally, researchers have focused on the formation of marital unions, although the focus has broadened to include nonmar- ital romantic relationships more generally, as the institution of mate selection has become less orderly and predictable in its movement toward marriage. The goal of contemporary scholarship is to understand the forces that draw heterosexual and homosexual partners to one another in the first place and, ulti- mately, to understand the mechanisms by which partners form long-term stable and satisfying romantic unions of any type. In this chapter, we formally investigate changes in research over the last fifty years, with spe- cial attention to a recent decade. Then we review key areas of research to elucidate the implications of the trends identified.
We investigated trends in the study of dat- ing and mate selection in two ways. First,
we obtained a historical view by research- ing major outlets for reviews in the fields of study just described. Our assumption here was that major reviews are repositories of, and therefore reflect, the dominant theo- retical and empirical trends that take hold within disciplines. The outlets we examined included the Annual Review of Psychology from19 5 0 to 2 0 0 3 and the Annual Review of Sociologyfrom when it was first published in 19 7 5 to 2 0 0 3. We also researched the decade reviews of the Journal of Marriage and Familyfrom when they were first pub- lished in19 7 0to the most recent issue,2 0 0 0. We looked for information pertaining to het- erosexual or homosexual relationships, close or interpersonal relationships, dating, attrac- tion, homosexuality or gay relationships, and mate selection by examining titles of articles, abstracts when available, and the index of each volume. Second, we researched eight major journals that publish papers on dating and mate selection for a recent decade,19 9 1 to2 0 0 0, to investigate contemporary trends in topics researched.
1 1 3
A Brief History of the Study of Dating and Mate Selection,1 95 0 to2 0 0 3 Our investigation of the major published reviews of research on dating and mate selection uncovered eight papers that dealt exclusively with mate choice, premarital relationships, or personal relationships with a strong focus on romantic relationships.
These articles are the source of the conclu- sions reached in this section. In addition to these, we uncovered2 0articles, not included here, in which nonmarital romantic rela- tionships were addressed as part of a larger review on broader topics, such as personal- ity, group dynamics, adolescence, or social networks.
A Major Change in Research on Dating and Mate Selection
Our review revealed a major shift in emphasis: The topic of relationship develop- ment with an emphasis on progress toward marriage, a leading focus of research for several decades, has rather suddenly van- ished from reviews published in major outlets. This theme concerns research on how and why relationships progress toward deeper involvement or marriage. It also con- cerns the opposing question: Why do rela- tionships deteriorate in involvement, and, in some cases, break up? Five of the six major reviews published from19 7 0 to19 9 0 were entirely or mostly devoted to the topic. In their review of research con- ducted during the 19 6 0s, Moss, Apolonio, and Jensen (19 7 1) focused on studies of the courtship continuum, or how relation- ships progress toward marriage. Burchinal (19 6 4) first discussed the idea of a courtship continuum, explaining that research of his era made a sharp distinction between dat- ing and courtship based on their unique roles and functions. Up to and includ- ing 19 9 0, all reviews since this early treatment incorporated relationship devel- opment, although the emphasis shifted for some from courtship that results in marriage to a more general understand- ing of how relationships are formed and
change (Blumstein & Kollock, 19 8 8; Hus- ton & Levinger,19 7 8; Murstein,19 8 0; Surra, 19 9 0). Although some scholars may assume that the push for cross-cultural studies is new, sections on cultural variation were included in two of the earliest reviews (Moss et al.,19 7 1; Murstein,19 8 0), but not later ones.
In reviews published so far during the decade of 2 0 0 0, the theme of courtship development has faded away. More recent reviews instead have been devoted entirely to cohabitation (Smock, 2 0 0 0) or to sum- maries of theories that apply across dif- ferent types of relationships, including, but not limited to, nonmarital roman- tic relationships (e.g., Rusbult & Van Lange, 2 0 0 3). The strongest evidence that these themes are no longer a major force in research on nonmarital relationships comes from tracking the decade reviews in Jour- nal of Marriage and Family. Every10 years since 19 7 0, this journal has published an issue or issues devoted to major research topics of the decade. The decade review issues included an article on mate selection and premarital relationships in 19 7 0, 19 8 0, and19 9 0 (Moss et al.,19 7 1; Murstein,19 8 0; Surra,19 9 0). In addition, the decade reviews of19 7 0and19 8 0each had a separate review of research on premarital sex (Cannon &
Long, 19 7 1; Clayton & Bokemeier, 19 8 0).
Thus, premarital topics of some sort were a vibrant research focus for three decades;
5 of the 3 3 reviews published during that time were devoted exclusively to premari- tal topics. The decade review issue of2 0 0 0, however, had no article on dating topics, and the only discussion of dating or pre- marital topics is found within more gen- eral reviews on sexuality (Christopher &
Sprecher, 2 0 0 0) and violence (Johnson &
Ferraro,2 0 0 0).
It may appear that research devoted to the courtship continuum and relationship development in nonmarital romantic rela- tionships is declining. As we show later, how- ever, the decline has more to do with a shift in emphasis than it does the number of stud- ies conducted that are relevant to dating and mate selection.
The Study of Universal Processes:
Predominant Topics Across Disciplines Our investigation of major reviews also showed a good deal of commonality and consistency in topics relevant to dating and mate section. Research on the topics of sim- ilarity, homogamy, and assortative mating has been conducted for more than5 0years, and it continues to be a subject of interest.
The hypothesis that similarity breeds attrac- tion, progress toward deeper involvement, and the decision to wed is pervasive in all of the disciplines that we investigated and has received considerable support. Researchers have also examined the conditions respon- sible for this association, most notably the structure of the social environment (e.g., the availability of individuals similar to oneself within the population), residential propinquity, and the factors that moderate or modify the association (e.g., the length of the relationship, the sex of the target). The counterpoint to homogamy, the hypothesis that opposites or complementary partners attract, received a great deal of attention early on but has declined in significance in recent decades. Nevertheless, studies in support of the complementarity hypothesis still appear in the literature (see, for exam- ple, Dryer & Horowitz, 19 9 7; Pilkington, Tesser, & Stephens,19 9 1).
Love, commitment, and intimacy have been topics of interest to researchers from different disciplines for several decades.
Even the earliest reviews of research con- ducted during the19 6 0s (Moss et al., 19 7 1) identified love and empathy as two of the major forces in the development of relation- ships to marriage. In their review of research around the 19 6 0s and 19 7 0s, Huston and Levinger (19 7 8) discussed the role of love in building commitment to marriage and the correlates of commitment. Similarly, Clark and Reis (19 8 8) reviewed research on the definition and implications of intimacy for the well-being of individuals and relation- ships. Nearly all major reviews of premarital relationships and personal relationships have identified love, commitment, intimacy, or all of these as major constructs.
Topics related to social exchange the- ory, or derivative from it, also are consis- tently studied in research on dating and mate selection, although the emphasis has shifted from norms that govern tit-for-tat exchanges to those that motivate a more cooperative stance. From the earliest to the most recent reviews in psychology and soci- ology, questions about how justice norms apply in dating and romantic relationships have carried weight in the literature (Blum- stein & Kollock, 19 8 8; Clark & Reis, 19 8 8; Murstein, 19 8 0; Surra, 19 9 0). Equity, fair- ness, and the magnitude and equality of rewards and costs have been examined as they pertain to both the functioning and out- comes of nonmarital romantic relationships.
More recently, research has focused on how partners respond to one another’s needs, par- ticularly when the needs of coupled partners do not correspond, the welfare of the rela- tionship is at stake, or each partner has a con- cern for the welfare of the other. Research on these topics has been the subject of reviews on interdependence theory and communal versus exchange relations (Clark & Reis, 19 8 8; Rusbult & Van Lange,2 0 0 3).
Our review of reviews published in the last 5 0 years showed sustained interest in topics specific to dating, such as assorta- tive mating, as well as topics that explain a variety of relationships, such as love, inti- macy, and social exchange. Recently, major theorists in psychology and sociology have exhorted researchers to shift their empha- sis even further, away from the study of specific types of relationships and toward dimensions of relationships that apply to close relationships generally (e.g., Berscheid, 19 9 5; Blumstein & Kollock, 19 8 8; Hinde, 19 8 7,19 9 6). Such a shift is seen as a means of bringing greater understanding of all types of close, personal relationships, rather than a piecemeal emphasis on a particular type of relationship. Similarly, Ross (19 9 5) argued that the study of marital status may be outdated, and relationships might be more profitably studied as a continuum of social attachment that includes marriage itself, living together with a partner, not living together and having a partner, and not
having a partner. A more universal approach also has the advantage of drawing together research from different disciplines so that psychology would benefit from a stronger sociocultural perspective (Berscheid, 19 9 5; Blumstein & Kollock, 19 8 8), and sociology would benefit from a greater understand- ing of relationships not defined by formal roles, such as cohabitation instead of mar- riage (Blumstein & Kollock,19 8 8).
The apparent decline in research on the courtship continuum, combined with the call for an emphasis on more universal approaches, led us to wonder about how research on dating and mate selection is changing. We especially wanted to know whether the amount of research has been declining overall. In addition, we asked: Is the emphasis of studies truly shifting from those specific to mate selection to more uni- versal topics and, if the emphasis is shifting, is it doing so across disciplines?
Changes in Research on Dating and Mate Selection,1 991–2 0 0 0
To understand better the changes in research on dating and mate selection, we systemat- ically examined articles published over the last10years. We report on topics studied in eight major journals and how the amount and nature of attention to research on dat- ing and mate selection has changed over the years.
Method
To identify studies done on dating and mate selection from 19 9 1 to 2 0 0 0, we read the title and abstract of papers published in eight major journals: American Sociological Review, American Journal of Sociology,Com- munication Monographs, Human Communi- cation Research,Journal of Marriage and Fam- ily, the sections on Interpersonal Relation- ships and Group Processes and on Person- ality Processes and Individual Differences in the Journal of Personality and Social Psy- chology, Journal of Social and Personal Rela- tionships, andPersonal Relationships. Because
Personal Relationshipswas first published in 19 9 4, we examined articles published since that time. Of course, these journals do not include all journals that publish articles on dating and mate selection, nor do they nec- essarily include the journals that publish the most articles. However, as the major jour- nals in sociology, psychology, communica- tion, and interdisciplinary fields that publish articles on dating and mate selection, they should represent well the changes we wished to examine. Despite the publication of a number of important books related to dating and mate selection during the decade (e.g., Buss, 19 9 4; Cate & Lloyd, 19 9 2; Holman, 2 0 0 1; Lloyd & Emery, 2 0 0 0), we included only journal articles in our sample to limit the scope of our research.
From the outset, an important task was to determine the boundaries of the domain of research on dating and mate selection. We wanted to be sure to include two groups of studies: those that investigated roman- tic relationships specifically and those that examined more general properties that oper- ate in dating relationships as well as other types of relationships. We wanted to include, for example, a paper on intimacy in personal relationships, even if it did not specifically focus on intimacy in romantic relationships.
To define clearly the boundaries of what to include, we devised two definitions to guide our investigations, one for mate selection and one for dating properties. Articles were included if they fit either definition.
We defined the study of mate selection as research into the processes by which individuals choose their heterosexual or homosexual romantic partners or of the factors that predict whether romantic relationships progress, maintain, or dissolve over time. Study of mate selection includes traditional topics, such as courtship, as well as cohabitation, union formation, and other statuses and forms relevant to non- marital romantic relationships. To tap into more general relational phenomena, we defined the study of dating relationships as investigation of the properties that pertain to the nature of romantic heterosexual or homosexual relationships and the factors
that affect relational properties, including their cognitive, affective, or behavioral char- acteristics. This definition includes the study of relational phenomena, such as conflict, communication, or interpersonal attitudes (e.g., trust). The definition made it possible for us to include articles on universal prop- erties of relationships that apply to dating.
Both definitions include individual, social, and structural influences. Whenever ques- tions arose as to whether a particular article should be included, we referred to these definitions. We included articles on dating or mate selection at all stages of the life span (e.g., adolescent dating), although we did not systematically code this information.
Although our definitions were well cir- cumscribed, they did present certain limita- tions. If the abstract, for example, described a study about self-disclosure in friendship, we excluded it. If, on the other had, it was described more generally as a study of self- disclosure, it was included because it would apply to dating. In the latter case, however, we might have discovered later in our coding that self-disclosure was indeed studied using a sample of friends. Thus, we were guided primarily by authors’ own descriptions of the emphasis the study as presented in the abstract. This procedure probably means that we included in our sample some studies on topics that were applicable to dating, but were, in fact, investigated in nondating rela- tionships. Studies of marriage were included only if authors made reference in the abstract to mate selection or dating; for example, a study of marriage was included because it concluded that spouses must select on the basis of homogamy during mate selection, rather than increase their similarity to one another after marriage (Tambs & Moum, 19 9 2). Studies of individual attitudes were excluded if they pertained to attitudes that lie outside of a specific relationship (e.g., changes over time in attitudes toward pre- marital sex).
This procedure yielded a sample of 5 3 1 articles, 4 7 of which were nonempirical essays or reviews. We then met in groups of three or four to code the topic of each article into1of3 6categories (see Table7.1). If the
Table7.1. Distribution of Articles by Topic,1991 to2 000
Topic % n
Attachment 10.0 5 3
Violence 7.2 3 8
Marriage markets and union formation
7.2 3 8
Cohabitation 6.0 3 2
Communication 5.8 3 1
Relationship development and outcomes
5.6 3 0
Love 5.5 2 9
Cognitions and perceptions
5.5 2 9 Homogamy and
matching
3.8 2 0 Self and identities 3.4 18
Gay relationships 3.2 17
Jealousy and extradyadic relationships
2.4 13
Conflict 2.3 12
Family of origin 2.3 12
Sex 2.3 12
Social networks and other contexts
2.3 12 Attraction and liking 2.1 11 Evolutionary and
biological processes
2.1 11
Other 2.1 11
Individual characteristics
1.9 10
Intimacy 1.7 9
Maintenance 1.7 9
Grand theories 1.7 9
Breakups 1.5 8
Commitment 1.5 8
Gender and sex differences
1.3 7
Power 1.1 6
Trust 1.1 6
Depression 0.9 5
Emotion 0.9 5
Narratives and archival data
0.9 5
Partner preferences 0.8 4
Activity participation 0.6 3
Accommodation 0.6 3
Illusions 0.6 3
Forgiveness 0.4 2
Total 10 0.0 5 3 1
Table7.2.Distribution of Articles by Journal,1991to2 000
Journal
% on dating and mate selectiona na
% on dating and mate selection out of total published in journalb nb Sociology
American Journal of Sociology 2.1 11 2.9 3 7 8
American Sociological Review 3.4 18 3.2 5 5 4
Psychology
Journal of Personality and Social Psychologyc
2 0.7 110 8.3 13 3 0
Communication
Communication Monographs 2.3 12 5.3 2 2 7
Human Communication Research 3.2 17 7.6 2 2 4
Interdisciplinary
Journal of Marriage and Family 2 2.6 12 0 14.8 8 0 9
Journal of Social and Personal
Relationships 2 7.9 14 8 3 6.5 4 0 6
Personal Relationships 17.9 9 5 5 6.2 16 9
Total 10 0.0 5 3 1
a Based on total number of articles published on dating and mate selection in journals reviewed (N= 5 3 1).
b Based on total number of articles published in the journal, excluding book reviews and commentaries.
c Sections on Interpersonal Relationships and Group Processes and on Personality Processes and Individual Differences.
article was a multivariate study, we coded it according to the phenomenon the authors were trying to explain.
Results
The distribution of articles showed that the five most prevalent topics were attach- ment in adult relationships, violence, mar- riage markets and union formation, cohabi- tation, and communication (see Table 7.1).
Most of the articles had to do with hetero- sexual relationships, and3.2% addressed gay relationships in some manner.
Of all articles published on dating and mate selection included in our sample, most are found in one of the three interdis- ciplinary journals (Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Journal of Marriage and Family, andPersonal Relationships, even though the latter began publishing in19 9 4), or in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (see Table7.2). The major jour- nals in sociology and communication were the least likely to publish articles on dating and mate selection, publishing2% to3% of
the articles in our sample and3% to8% of all articles published in the journal. These findings are not surprising, given that these journals typically publish papers in their respective root disciplines. Out of all arti- cles published in the journal, the highest per- centage of articles on dating and mate selec- tion (5 6%) is found inPersonal Relationships.
What is surprising perhaps is that one of the major outlets for published work in the root discipline of social psychology, theJour- nal of Personality and Social Psychology, was among the most active in terms of publishing papers on dating and mate selection (2 1% of our sample), but, in the two sections of the journal that we studied, only about 8% of the articles published addressed dating and mate selection.
The number of articles on dating and mate selection published over the years was stable. We found no significant trends over time. On average, about 5 3 articles were published each year. The years 19 9 5 and 19 9 8 were particularly productive, as 6 3 articles were published in 19 9 5 and 7 0 in19 9 8.