ISSN 2580-1937 (Print); 2580-7528 (Online) 169
THE PORTRAY OF MARRIAGE BASED ON CULTURE OF TWO
170 ISSN 2580-1937 (Print); 2580-7528 (Online)
Court of the United States stated that states must allow same-sex marriage. Since then, same-sex marriage has been legalized.
Furthermore, it affects other countries to do so. Therefore, the writer is interested in analyzing how the authors of ―Diary of The Lost Boy‖, Harry Kondoleon and ―Dan Bidadari pun Mencintaimu‖, Ali Imron El Shirazy portray marriage based on their own cultures of society.
The writer chose American culture to be the context of marriage in ―Diary of The Lost Boy‖ because the author is from New York and most of the novel‘s scene happens in America. Meanwhile, Islamic culture was chosen to be the context of marriage in ―Dan Bidadari pun Mencintaimu‖ because although it happens in Indonesia, in Java mostly, but the culture that the author concern is highly influenced by the religion aspect, which is Islam. The society in that novel is pesantren and it shows that all of the people in this society embraces Islam as their religion and it applies in their lifestyle.
Because of that homogenous society, the appropriate culture of the novel is Islamic culture.
Methodology
Objects of the study are ―Diary of The Lost Boy‖ by Harry Kondoleon and ―Dan Bidadari pun Mencintaimu‖ by Ali Imron El Shirazy. The primary data are taken from the novels. They consist of things such as words, phrases, sentences events and narration. All information relates to both novels like their backgrounds and the authors‘ cultural societies. In doing the study, the writer applies the techniques of documentation in gathering the data. After the writer analyzed the data, the writer employed descriptive qualitative analysis of content. The analysis starts from the structural analysis of the work and finally the sociological analysis of the literary works.
Finding and Discussion
The writers decide that parts of marriage that will be discussed below are
about the things included before marriage, while-wedding or the ceremony, types of marriage which include monogamy, polyandry , etc., and marriage life.
Before Marriage
Diary of A Lost Boy Dan Bidadari pun Mencintaimu
1. Dating before marriage.
After knowing each other, the couple starts a relationship before marriage.
Proof:
―Susan was dating a lot of not very nice men, and I felt finally I had to intercede. I introduced her to Bill, they married,…‖ (page 6)
Ta‘aruf
In this case, both of them are met and being accompanied by the mahram in order to avoid haram things happen between them.
Istikharah prayer is done to make decision by asking Allah.
Proof: ―Jika memang demikian...Malam ini kita sudah ta'aruf, Saya juga sudah mengamati putri Pak Haji, Akan tetapi tolong izinkaan saya untuk berpikir dan melakukan istikharah mlam ini.'' Lamaran is where the guy (it can be with his family) goes to the woman‘s house to propose a marriage. It depends on the answer of the woman and her family.
Proof: ―Guntur tertarik pada putrimu Khadija, Dia pun memintaku untuk melamar putrimu.‖
Syar‘i reasons if the woman‘s answer is no.
Proof: "Kalau masalah ini.
saya sangat minta Maaf, saya belum bisa sekarang, Usia saya baru akan menginjak 20. Saya masih ingin melakukan beberapa hal sebelum menikah.
Salah satunya dan yg utama, saya ingin menjadi Hafidzhah sebelum menikah, saya minta maaf."
ISSN 2580-1937 (Print); 2580-7528 (Online) 171 Relating to the American culture:
The novel portrays that there are many couples dating before marriage and looking from the culture at this time, it is understandable because research also shows that most of younger Americans now spend some time living together outside of marriage, and unmarried cohabitation commonly precedes marriage.
Relating to the Islamic culture:
The novel portrays that marriage cannot be separated from the religion. This culture shows that it really views marriage as a holy thing because of the rules and steps above.
The believers view it as one of religious practices. The culture also prohibits dating before marriage. They only know ta‘aruf before marriage. To those who date (many younger people nowadays in fact have dated even though they know the rules) is believed to get sin.
No .
While- wedding (The ceremony)
Diary of A Lost Boy Dan Bidadari pun Mencintaimu 2. 1. Being held in a
house with great preparation.
Proof: ―In fact, the house, after hours of decoration,‖ (page 168)
2. Playing games, dancing, and cake cutting are some activities at the wedding which are done by the couple and the guests.
Proof:
―Some very dynamic couple who run a catering company went to work amassing huge piles of chicken salad.
They were amicably bossy and got a dozen people to chop, peel, and toss. Restaurant- quality machinery stood proudly over carrot
Needs wallee or in this case wali hakim to be the witness.
Proof: ―Kami langsung menikah dengan seorang wali hakim agar Mamah tenang.‖
Being held in KUA without wedding reception.
Proof: ―Pernikahan kami pun di KUA tanpa resepsi.‖
salad and celery-apple- nut salad; the potato salad was an herb picker‘s delight.‖ (page 169).
Relating to the American culture:
American wedding includes dancing, cake- cutting, etc, or basically a party.
Relating to Islamic Culture:
In the culture, the Islamic wedding actually allows reception but the case above shows that it has no reception. Both are actually okay although some people usually do reception, the point is as long as it has witnesses and ijab-qobul.
No. Types of marriage
Diary of A Lost Boy Dan Bidadari pun
Mencintaimu
3. Monogamy marriage and
heterosexual, except Kim and John. They are the first gay married couple in the novel.
Proof: ―Who is coming?
Bill‘s best friend and fellow phinderer and charter club member, Bob. His wife, Aileen,… Susan‘s dear friend and magazine bigwig, Mag, and her mysterious (in a creepy way) husband, Kent.‖ page 25 it shows Bob x Aileen (heterosexual), Kent x Mag (heterosexual) and Bill x Susan who are clearly heterosexual couple.
Meanwhile, in Kim‘s Wedding chapter, when Kim and John were married, it is stated:
―…the boys were married‖
This reason makes them become the first gay married couple in the novel.
Monogamy marriage and heterosexual couples couples such as Abah
and Ummi,
Ghozali and Khoirunnisa, Muthmainnah
and a
gentleman.
Proof:
―Mbak Muthmainnah menikah dengan seorang pemuda…‖
172 ISSN 2580-1937 (Print); 2580-7528 (Online)
Relating to the American culture:
It is typically monogamy, when someone is married to only one person at a time.
Cultural norm for polygamy is not a universally recognized in majority. It has been shown above. At that time, same-sex marriage has not been legalized, so the main character who is gay expressed his joy and the woman expressed that it is incredible that the same-sex marriage is real.
Meanwhile, nowadays couples can be of the opposite sex or of the same sex (Statistics Canada 2012). Lesbian and gay individuals are now admitted and US citizens may petition for immigrant visas for their same- sex spouses under the same terms as opposite-sex spouses.
Relating to the Islamic Culture:
The proofs above shows that the marriage there is only monogamy, but actually Islam allows polygamy but it is not shown in novel.
No .
Marriage Life
Diary of A Lost Boy Dan Bidadari pun Mencintaimu 4. Verbal abuse often
happens and they don‘t really have any solution to solve the conflict;
instead they have angry love making with small talk.
Proof:
―Think Susan and Bill are back together? No;
sharing the same room, yes. Fucking furiously morning, afternoon, and nighttime, yes. They, like many, have entered the cadaverous world of Pretend. I‘m expected not to mention that they‘ve never made up, discussed their problems, or even called a truce. That night after dinner party was just a start to a charade of sex and small talk.‖ Page 41
Sometimes, little conflicts happen and usually do not last long because the couples understand each other and always make a step to reconciliation by asking and giving forgiveness.
Proof:
―Baiklah Mi.
Abah minta maaf jika terlalu keras pada Ummi dan Pelangi… Dan jangan tunjukkan air mata itu di depan Abah lagi.
Abah sakit
melihatnya.‖ Page 207.
Relating to the American culture:
Sprecher and Toro-Morn (2002) found that Americans, who have high passionate or erotic attitudes towards love. Americans reporting greater openness, expressiveness, and physical contact for expressing intimacy (Seki, Matsumoto, and Imahori, 2002). It has been shown above that it is explicitly mention their sexual activities in marriage Regarding the abuse is the number one reason people decide to divorce, that also shown in the novel how they consider to divorce because of this abuse, especially verbal abuse.
Relating to the Islamic culture:
From those proofs, the culture:
Just because Allah has given men a position of authority does not give them the right to abuse it. They have to treat their wives in the best manner. Allah says (what means),
―Live with them honorably. ‖proven by asking and giving forgiveness after confict.
Conclusions
From the discussion, the authors portray the marriage based on their own cultures. The aspects of marriage that have been discussed include the process of marriage, types of the marriage, and the marriage life. From those aspects, we can see the differences between authors, one from the American culture and one from Islamic culture although the authors do not portray the detailed culture of marriage. From the writers‘ point of view, there is no bad marriage, however, it is based on the context of where the marriage is applied in particular culture. Therefore, we hope that the government will make a policy on labeling novels which contradict with the culture of certain society. For example, in this context, Diary of The Lost Boy will have 18+ label because the content is not so appropriate for readers in Indonesia, especially for students.
ISSN 2580-1937 (Print); 2580-7528 (Online) 173 References
American Weding. (n.d.). Retrieved april 10, 2017, from American Weding:
http://www.world-wedding-
traditions.net/home/american-wedding Elias, A. E. (2013, april 26). Faith in Allah .
Retrieved april 26, 2017, from Faith in Allah : http://abuaminaelias.com/why- does-islam-allow-polygamy-and-plural- marriages/
Keesing, R. M. (1974, - -). THEORIES OF CULTURE. Australia, Cdoberra A.C.T., Australia, Institute Of Advanced Studies, Australian Nationai Universily.
Martanto, P. D. (2008). Hipocrisy In Dan Brown‘s Angel And Demon Novel.
Surakarta: English Department Muhammadiyah University Of Surakarta.
174 ISSN 2580-1937 (Print); 2580-7528 (Online)