What I Would Do Differently
Session 3: Why Invest Your Life in Discipling Others? (Part 2)
III. Motivation #3: The Church is the Family of God
a. The Church as The Family of God: What the Bible Says i. Jesus’s Teaching: Mark 3:31-35
31 And his mother and his brothers came, and standing outside they sent to him and called him. 32 And a crowd was sitting around him, and they said to him, “Your mother and your brothers are outside, seeking you.” 33 And he answered them, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” 34 And looking about at those who sat around him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! 35 For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother.”
1. The topic of family comes up in this passage.
2. Who does the crowd refer to in v. 32?
3. Who does Jesus say is his family in v. 33-35?
4. Does this mean he does not care about his physical family any more or that he is free from family obligations?
a. No. At the cross how he entrusts his mother’s care to John (John 19:27). Which implies he has been caring for her up until that point.
b. But, he does say in other places (like Luke 14:26) that our love for Him is to be stronger than our love for even our physical family.
5. In our culture, family is often sidelined.
a. Individual expression seems to trump any sort of familial obligation.
b. However, this was certainly not the case in Jesus’s time.
i. Family was the most basic unit.
ii. Allegiance to one’s family (their honor, needs, etc.) was expected.
6. So, what does it mean to say this group of unrelated people could be his family?
a. How does this help those who live in
i. An individualistic culture (America)?
ii. A collectivist culture (Eastern culture)?
b. Think about how important this is if a new believer was rejected by his or her family for following Christ.
7. Joseph Hellerman sums up the significance for us when he writes, “Jesus models the new community he is establishing after the most important group found in the ancient
Mediterranean world, the family,” and this “faith-family” is
“at the center stage of Jesus’ relational priorities.”22 8. It is no surprise that this metaphor is directly applied to the
church by Paul. Let’s look at what he writes.
ii. Paul’s teaching
1. Paul refers to the church as “the household of God” in Ephesians 2:19 and 1 Timothy 3:15.
2. Furthermore, in Paul’s writings, the Greek term for
“brother(s)/sister(s)” is used 139 times.23
a. We can become desensitized to it and begin to think of it as just a word that carries very little freight.
b. But, if he is applying what Jesus said about his followers being a family, then it is more than an endearing term.
c. It signals something important about the way we should view one another and relate to one another.
d. Not only that, but the ubiquitous use of the term also shows that the “family” metaphor must significantly shape the church’s culture.
iii. Most Christians acknowledge the theological truth that the church is family.
1. The problem is that modern Christians often do not realize that it is “true not only positionally but also relationally.”24 2. In other words, it is not just an abstract concept but a truth
that realigns life and priorities.
3. We tend to focus on how becoming a Christian entails entering into a relationship with God as our Father, but we don’t tend to emphasize the fact that this also creates new (and real) relationships with fellow believers.25
a. We introduce the church as an important place for personal growth (which it is).
b. But the New Testament shows that it is more than a place for personal growth. It is the family we belong to, mature in, and serve in.
c. Why does this matter?
22 Joseph H. Hellerman, When the Church Was a Family: Recapturing Jesus’ Vision for Authentic Christian Community (Nashville, B&H, 2009), 65.
23 Hellerman, When the Church Was a Family, 77.
24 Hellerman, When the Church Was a Family, 73.
25 This is a paraphrase of Hellerman, When the Church Was a Family, 123.
i. “When the church is not viewed as the family of God, people act as if they “are spiritual orphans, not adopted sons and daughters.”26
ii. J. T. English summarizes why this view is a huge problem for fostering interpersonal discipleship. He writes,
Spiritual orphans do not have spiritual fathers and mothers to care for them. They do not have spiritual siblings to encourage them. They do not have their own spiritual sons and daughters to grow in the faith. In this setting, spiritual orphans learn only to look out for themselves because they do not have a family to consider. The good of the one is more important than the good of the whole. The growth of the one is more important than the growth of the whole. Spiritual orphans become primarily concerned with their own formation, not the formation of the whole family. They have no need to consider the rest of the family, just themselves.27
b. Implications for Discipling
i. What do you think some of the implications should be for the way we think about our role in the church and relationships to one another? How does this affect our understanding of discipling?
ii. The church was expected to live like a healthy family and not just refer to one another as “brother” and “sister.”
1. Paul used family imagery to show how Christians should live in relationship with each other.
2. If you look at his use of family language, you will see that it called for:
a. an emotional bond, interpersonal harmony, b. sharing of resources,
c. and commitment to one another.28
3. This should be the experience of Christians in the church family.
iii. Here are some ways “the church as family” informs our view of discipleship.
1. First, in a family, all the members serve different, valuable roles that fit their maturity and gender.
a. Think about Titus 2:1-8.
b. We will talk about this passage more in a future meeting, but for now, note that Paul addresses each gender and age/maturity in the church.
26 J. T. English, Deep Discipleship: How the Church Can Make Whole Disciples of Jesus (Nashville: B&H, 2020), 59, Kindle.
27 English, Deep Discipleship, 59.
28 Hellerman, When the Church Was a Family, 78-79.
c. The older, more mature believers have the obligation to instruct and train (disciple) the younger.
d. This also implies that the younger have an obligation to learn from the older.
2. Second, in a family, sacrificing one’s personal comfort for the good of fellow family members is required.
a. We are connected to one another in a way that means we give thought to others (not just self).
i. We are willing to be spent for the good of others in our family.
ii. Discipling is like parenting—it takes a lot of time and energy. (See Paul referring to himself as a spiritual father).
b. What are some ways we might sacrifice personal comfort in a family or for discipling in the church family?
i. Our use of time, energy, and resources.
ii. Requires spending time with others outside of a person’s age and stage in life.
iii. Requires patience with others.
c. All the “one another” commands of the New Testament are requirements. They are not “if you have time and it is convenient . . . why don’t you consider . . .”
i. They are actual descriptions of our
obligations to one another by virtue of our relationship with one another.
ii. They are not suggestions, but expectations which we should want to fulfill.
3. Third, in a family, we work through the awkwardness of relationships.
a. Our culture is oriented toward a “radical
individualism” which means we have a “propensity to abandon, rather than work through, the awkward and painful relationships we so often find ourselves in.”29
b. As the family of God, however, we are called to work through it rather than give up.
IV. Conclusion
a. The culture of the church must be shaped by the New Testament mold (i.e., the church as the family of God).
i. As Hellerman notes,
29 Hellerman, When the Church Was a Family, 4.
“The New Testament picture of the church as a family flies in the face of our individualistic cultural orientation. God’s intention is not to become the feel-good Father of a myriad of isolated individuals who appropriate the Christian faith as yet another avenue toward personal enlightenment.”30 ii. Instead, God is the Father of a family in which brothers and sisters
enjoy fellowship, build one another up, and care for one another in ways that honor their familial bond.
iii. This reality, that we are the family of God, should motivate us to love one another and fulfill our God given roles in raising up the family of God.
b. Assignments for next time.
i. Read Dever, chapters 5-6 and note one thing that sticks out to you from each chapter.
ii. Continue praying through the directory, using “brother/sister”
language.
iii. Contact (email, call, talk at church) at least one person in the directory to ask them how you can pray for them.
iv. Answer the reflection questions:
1. How do our Sunday gatherings (worship, Sunday school, prayer meeting) disciple believers (i.e., help them follow Jesus)?
2. What steps could you take to “come prepared” to disciple others (and be discipled by others) on Sunday?
3. How can you use the Sunday gatherings to disciple others?
30 Hellerman, When the Church Was a Family, 7.