FRESHMEN.
Tell me not, in joyful numbers, That the Freshman has no care!
For the girl is late who slumbers, For she has to fix her hair.
Rats are here! and switches plenty!
But the styles, they do not stay;
How to catch them in their changes, Is her aim from day to day.
Not dances, and not ball games, Are our only end and aim;
But to act that each tomorrow Find us zeroes next our name.
Time is long, and tests are pressing, And though hearts are torn with fear, Still we're hoping for promotion
To the rank of Senior year.
In the school's great field of action, In rhetorials and song,
We would not be dumb nor timid, But would bravely march along.
Trust no gossip who could tell you We are frivolous and young, For we cannot study always
And we have to have some fun.
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Lives of teachers all remind us, We are budding teachers, too, And must practice on the children
Or they will not let us through.
Practice making plans and so forth, Which of course we'll later use, For all truly skillful teachers
Plan their work from a's to q's.
Let us then be up and doing, With our faces forward set, Still achieving, still pursuing,
Till you're glad that us you met.
With apologies to Longfellow.
-G.H.
THE DEAD PAST AND THE PRESENT.
The parallel bars are covered with dust, Untouched on the floor they stand, The horizontal's hidden with rust,
And the students come not with a rush.
Now the time has come and the horses are shining and bright,
And the students work with all their might;
For thi. is the year for all of you,
So all three cheers for the N. A. G. U.
THIS OR THAT?
To the model school's intere ts all be alive!
Never mind if up tair you scarce get seventy-five;
According to advice, that which count i the work In our teaching, o don't you dare hirk !
Here' the place to give your best labor, worry and thought, The mark earned upstairs are "tin idol ," you're taught.
For your work in the Normal School all be prepar~d ! (By the number of difficult tasks you'll be scared).
Two full hours of work on each study's required, Besides regular work, you'll have tasks till you're tired.
Requirement are hard, and for re t you will thirst,
But remember, "Recommendation call for scholarshiJJ fir t !"
Moral: "Don't dawdle."
FAREWELL.
Fare thee well one Alma Mater, Fare thee well forever more;
Out beyond the harbor steering, We mu ·t ail Life' ocean o'er.
Long within the peaceful precinct We have labored faithfully;
Tho' we climb thy stairs no longer, We hall e'er be true to thee.
Ever on the field and rostrum Nob le victorie yours have won. And we join to sing thy prai es
Of each worthy champion.
Years hall pa and we may wander,
-G.H.
REMINISCENCES OF A SENIOR.
How dear to my heart is the old college gym, The scene of both troubles and joys;
Where for many hours together we've been, Our eleven girls and fourteen boys.
How dear to my heart is the old lecture room, Where the skeieton and manikin stand;
There oft in the morning and again at noon Anatomy we have crammed.
How dear to my heart is the old library, With its books, ever free from dust;
But where topics other than literary Were very often discussed.
How dear to my heart a.re the old college teachers Who had our welfare ever at heart;
Ne'er will I forget any one of their features, And with regret, from them, I now part.
- I. M. W.
BILL HAS GONE.
(By Larry.)
Once Bill and I were good, good friends, We first met on ihe cars ;
Once Bill smoked half my cigarettes, Once I smoked Bill's cigars;
Bill treated me and I treated Bill, But now it seems so funny That Bill and I have parted, and
The days are not so sunny.
Once Bill and I were good, good pals, We found life gay and bright;
We chummed together days, We roamed around at night;
TO ALMA MATER.
Air-"Auld Lang Syne."
The parting hour will soon be here, So let us come together,
For comrades we will ever be In storm or sunny weather.
Chorus.
For dear old Alma Mater, then, Our voices we will raise, And all her faithful children here
Will help to swell the praise.
As out upon the sea we gaze, The turbulent sea of life, We feel that Alma Mater's aid
Wm help us in the strife.
And when we are out in the storm And waves around us swell, ' We'll bless the dear old mother hand
,.fhat helps to guide so well.
Though duty calls us far away, Our hearts will e'er be true To our beloved Normal School,
To dear N. A.G. U.
-G.A.
TOMORROW.
Afar in the distant offing of Life's tumultuous sea, Of Life's sad mystic sea,
A pure joy tinged with sadness, Tomorrow I dimly see;
Beyond that blush of the heavens what a new-born hope is there,
What a radiant hope is there!
What a world in which to conquer, what an hour in which to dare!
And the rush of the hopes of the morning bears me on till the fall of night,
Till the chastened fall of night
Puts the seal of its benediction on my yearning after light.
And when the dim dusk hovers o'er the western sea of gold, O'er the sea of molten gold,
And I gaze on the day departing to be numbered among the told,
When I look upon the conflicts wherein that day I have failed,
Wherein I have sorrowfully failed,
I count myself with the conquered and my plumes in the dust are trailed ;
But again with the mists of the morning come the hopes of the new-born day,
The hopes of the unsullied day,
And I strive in the early freshness to clear those mists
away. -G. H.
I am a peevish student, I;
My star is gone from yonder sky ; I think it went so high at first,
That it just went and gone and burd. A glass is good, a lass is good,
And a pipe to smoke in cold weather;
The world is good and the people are good, And we're all good fellows together.
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1Jnkrn
HOW TO TREAT A ROOMMATE.
If you live peaceably with your roommate, treat him squarely at all times; respect his rights; help him along;
be agreeable; do your part and remember the Golden Rule:
"Whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them."
If in the morning you find the room very cold, let him close the window and turn on the heat. He can stand the cold better than you can.
~hen he has a headache and goes to bed early, be sure to sit up late and either write with a scratchy pen, rock vio- lently, or hum the latest song. It will help his nerves.
If he be writing an essay or the like, talk about your squelch, relate some choice bit of gossip, or groan about Your hard lot. His work will contain more human nature . . Wear his best tie without asking him. It might pain him to be obliged to refuse you.
Bo.rrow money from him and forget to pay it back. You can live cheaper that way.
Scatter your things about the room after he has finished putting it in order. If you do put them away, be sure to hang them on his best suit.
Borrow his best patent leather shoes to wear to a party and wear them forever after. It will please him to see yo~
well dressed.
he If there is only a little water in the pitcher, use it before gets a chance, and don't get any more.
Borrow his lesson paper from him every night with a sol- emn promise to repay him the next time you get some.
-G.H.
Heck: "Work first and then rest."
Al· "Y · es, ut b you seem to be resting all the time."
W Heck: "Well! don't you see, this is my period of rest?
ork comes next.''
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WHO'S WHO IN THE NORMAL COLLEGE.
Al-Almassy.
Al tie-Altmann.
Flo-Bush.
Sue-Denny.
Candy-Eid.
Evie-Evans.
Gale-Gahl.
May Bell-Gipe.
B. S.-Hansen.
Pop-Harwick.
Pick-Heck.
El-Hein.
Hink-Heinemann.
Jinks-Hofmeister.
Baby-Holbrook.
Sis-Hopkins.
Georgie-Lipps.
Larry-Molis.
Shrimp-Mueller.
Sody-Nohr.
Johnny-Schwarz.
Dutch-Suter.
Tep-Toeppen.
Renie-Wuestefeld.
Ern-Wuesthoff.
HEARD IN A PULLMAN CAR BOUND FOR CHI.
Fat Passenger (impatiently) : "Will one of you students
~peak to your colleague, that dark-eyed, dreamy man who, with his fair friend, haR been blocking the aisle for the past hour-I want to go to bed."
Da?'k-eyed, dreamy man, please note: A Pullman aisle is no place to spoon.
Sody.
Tinkle, tinkle, bit of ice,
Gimminy, but you do sound nice, As you clink, and clink, and fade, In my glass of lemonade.
To Irene.
She thinks of dropping Latin, And all her friends concur;
For knowing her, they quite agree, One tongue's enough for her.
RECIPES.
For finding a reference book:
1h
dozen heavy steps to the card catalogue.2 dozen fruitless searches.
1112
dozen squelches for "conversing."1 rapid exit.
For writing lesson plans : 15 minutes of time.
1 sheet of lesson paper.
1 rusty pen.
A pinch of energy.
Mix with a hazy idea of what you are to teach.
For making a bluff:
1 unlearned lesson.
1 easy teacher.
1 unprepared pupil.
1 confident facial expression.
1 dozen big words.
6 oratorical gestures.
6 miscellaneous replies which will make the teacher for- get his question.
IIMix all ingredients with hot air. Mix quickly; do not a ow ingredients to cool.
For writing a poem : 1 grand emotion.
6 subordinate feelings.
1 appreciation for nature.
6 figures of speech.
60 beautiful thoughts.
Mix well in rhyme. -G. H.
Pop:
Cel: "Haven't I seen you somewhere sometime?"
"Quite likely I was there then."
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Here's to the cla'"'s of noted fame;
Here's to the class that has made its name;
Here's to the class that never shirks, Here's to the class that does the work;
Here's to the class that has the fun, Here's to the class that gets things done.
Well may she follow her motto bright, Well may she work with all her might;
High in fame may each member go, High may he climb, tho' he be but slow;
Then may he turn from the place he's won, To thank this class for the things it has done.
-E. K. H.
To Hink: Don't worry like a chisel and lose your tem- per. (Look for the birds.)
Heard in the class room:
Anatomy-Next, next, next, etc., etc.
"The~e bones is here and they got to be got."
Music:
If you don't believe me you'll have to take my word for it. (Prof. Schaefer.)
If you don't pay attention I will mark you absent- minded. (Prof. Schaefer.)
Mr. Harwick, you are the second person I ever met who could not carry a tune-the other is in Russia. (Schaefer.)
Teaching and Value :
The Dean: "What is the value of folk dances?"
Mr. Wiebesick: "Principally to develop courage and self- reliance."
On the Floor:
Good gracious! One of our seniors in such a position.
Civic Hygiene:
Civic Hygiene is not one science, but many sciences.
A LESSON PLAN ON BLUFFING.
By-you know whom.
Date-all the year.
I. Aim.
1. eneral
To work the teacher 2. Special
To get through the day without work.
II. Outline of ubject matter.
1. Preparation None.
2. Pre entation.
An empty head, a liberal amount of nerve, and tability in equal quantitie ; a bland smiling countenance lit up with the absence of knowl- edge; an alert attitude to sense what is wanted;
a smooth suasive demeanor in general.
Ill. Method.
I hall get my book out fully two minute before cla s time. I hall ultimately find the a ignment, which to me con i t of but a vague, wide, undefinable ma of cerebral impre sion which I have tored away in a pigeonhole, twen- ty-three in the ._tack, where my normali tic impressions are corralled and subdued. The latter shall be vividly regained after not more than four leaves of that precious book are floating away on ether. I hall slowly and deliberately mix it very carefully into uch a ( todge ?) that even my power of ubaudjtion will turn and beat a retreat. Hav- ing thu worked diligently for at lea t eventeen econds, I
realize that my name is called-for what, I cannot tell. My friends come to my rescue and state the question. I hall rise, look out of the window, clear my throat, and begin.
Very soon a thought will come gliding along and enter my mind. I hall then launch out on the deep. If I see a look on the fa~e of the teacher which tells me I am on the wrong course, I shall try another manner of attack. · After I hear the word "Sufficient!" I sink into my seat and wonder what I have said.
"Sufficient unto the day is the bluffing thereof."
- G.H.
The President: "Mr. Moli , you are elected ecretary.' The A sembly: "Speech! Speech!"
Molis: "Well, I have been secretary to so many of the e things, I suppose I might as well be secretary of this frat.
also."
Everybody knows-
Where to find Toeppen.
Why Stecher gets a discount.
How Hink furnished his room.
That Flora is shy.
That Evans likes "the Boston."
That N ohr likes to pose for a picture.
Hofmeister's strong point.
That Lipps is happy.
How much the South Side girls think of Larry.
How much Mueller thinks of the South Side girls.
Why Bobby went to Chicago.
'l1hat Irene is some talker.
That Grace is quite a surgeon.
Why Menominee is famous.
What the "Think Stand" is.
That Hink has a temper.
Where the Milliken is.
The 'phone numbers of the Ballard.
Who gets the most letters.
The mail man's whistle.
That old green hat.
"Nobody Knows-
When Hansen studies.
Where Toeppen lives.
What Almassy don't know.
Susan's age.
Who drank Reuter's cider.
Sophie's weight.
What Jennie says.
What Mabel will say next.
If Bobby is really married.
When to believe Hansen.
Whom Harwick will take to a dance.
How to write a physiology paper like Grace.
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Why Lillian is so boisterous.
What Johnny means by "I think."
Where the Dean wants the apparatus.
Where Prof. Moore gets all his material.
Wouldn't You Be Surprised- If Hoffy should really hurry?
If Mueller should come on time?
If Almassy kept notes?
If Altmann didn't take things so seriously?
If you heard Flora's commands?
If Sue had won the fencing tournament?
To see Sophie without a bag of candy?
If Jennie spoke distinctly?
If Irene didn't laugh?
If Mabel had nothing to say?
If Bill took a girl to the dance?
If Pop should flunk in anatomy?
If Heck should get angry?
To see Elsa without Lillian?
If the clock should be right?
If Prof. Scherer should recognize you on the street?
If Dr. Ocker lectured without notes?
If we had a faculty reception?
If Prof. Ray should tell a joke?
If the Dean should smile?
To see Pop do a hand-stand?
To see everyone on time at a Students' Alliance meet- ing?
To hear that Sody drinks?
Not to be kept overtime on the floor?
To understand all the Deacon says?
If Heck wore a clean shirt?
If no one sat in the balcony? . ?
To hear of anyone studying on Saturday mght.
If Pete should "set 'em up?"
If N ohr paid his bets ?
A FEW DONT'S.
Don't ever forget the manners you were born with.
Don't walk home without rubbers on, if you can find any to fit you.
Don't stand near Mabel in the gym. during club swinging, unless your life is insured.
Don't study your advance lesson if you think you are go- ing to have a test next day.
Don't let any of the girls flirt with Geo. L.
Don't think you are a man at 18. No one else thinks so.
Don't ask too many questions. Any fool can ask ques- tions.
Don't be a flirt. The wink of the eye causeth sorrow.
Don't talk about your knowledge of sport. You only show your ignorance.
Don't wear too quiet clothes. You may not attract enough attention.
Don't try to bluff the Profs. It i suicidal.
Don't think N. C. can't get along without you. It existed before you entered.
Don't depend on your neighbor for a lift. Be self-reliant.
Mr. Schafer-A measher is a little croup of notes sur- rounded by bars. (Class laughs) ; vell if you don't beleave me take my word for it.
CAVETT SPECIAL.
Jinks: "Do you believe in saying grace before you eat?'' Hink: "You bet I do; it's the only time I do it with any propriety. If we waited until after we knew what we were going to eat, nine times out of ten we wouldn't be so thank-
OUR MEN.
The lonesomest-Nohr.
The swellest-Almassy.
The chestiest--Schwarz.
The handsomest-Heck.
The strongest-Lipps.
The re (a) d (i) est-Hofmeister.
The wisest-Altmann.
The shyest-Molis.
The gravest-Harwick.
The truest-Hansen.
The spooniest-Toeppen.
The laziest-Evans.
Harwick m 0 lis
n 0 hr
D
enny t 0 eppen h 0 fmeister'13
he Ck ho L brook ev Ans
Han S en Schwarz
To Lipps: All men are born free and equal, but some
\vill persist in getting married.
Student: "I wonder how Adam and Eve came to name their eldest son, 'Cain?'"
Mr. Moore: "They probably knew what they were rais- ing."
Heard in class-relating an incident:
IN CHEMISTRY LAB.
Mabel (complaining) : "A person can't find anything around here."
Hink: "What are you looking for?"
Mabel: "Nothing."
Hink:
ions." "I know, Mr. Rath," that we have a bunch of opin- Mr. Rath: "Yes, you must remember that when you have six Germans you will have a dozen opinions."
. The sentiment of the boys who call up at the Ballard:
Life woulq be a little sunnier maybe if the telephone girls would put a little sorro.w, regret and sympathy into the re-
ponse, "Line's Busy," and not so much gladness and tri- umph.
"Pride goeth before and the bill cometh after."
0
Bob: "How's your insomnia?"
Evy: "Worse! Worse! I can't even sleep when it's time to get up."
You may be a hunter, but I'll bet you never hunted lym- phatic du~ (t) s on the Haversion Canal (Evans).
Mr. Rath-What is the relation of the teacher to his class?
Max- The teacher should stand where he can see the whole class and where the whole class can be seen by him .
Mr. Rath (jn the gym.)-Now this time with legs hori- zontal-Run.
The Dean: "Class, you dp not dance with your hands or your feet, but with your brain."
Class: ???
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