p a r t i v : c oa c h i n g 157 Based on your self-assessment, you have an initial glimpse into your strengths and weaknesses in these areas. Use those insights as you read the pages that follow. We have said this before, you will want to read carefully in the areas in which you are weaker, and resist the urge to skim the other areas, for the nugget we share (or you extrapolate) may be the single insight or idea that takes you to even higher levels of skill and achievement.
We don’t know who Phil Dixon is (we found this quote in several places in our library and online), but we love the thought. Well-formed questions, asked at the right time, are some of the most powerful tools we have as leaders, especially in our coaching role. Questions allow us to engage other people by allowing them to problem solve and learn.
Although leading questions can be seen as self-serving or just a silly ploy, questions that get people to think and explore their approaches and thinking can be incredibly powerful.
Good, thoughtful, well-timed questions indicate curiosity about and concern for the other person and her perspective. State- ments and direct advice often sound uncaring and condescending.
The best coaches use questions rather than just statements to help the people they coach.
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C O A C H I N G —T H E A B C s O F C O A C H I N G S U C C E S S
Coaching touches many parts of your leadership role, and many skills are required to do it successfully. In the course of this section we want to help you think about this pervasive topic in some practical ways. As a way to get practical, let’s go back to the starting point of successful coaching. Just as the letters of the alphabet are the building blocks of all reading and language, so are the building blocks of effective coaching—we’ll call them the ABCs—that we share here.
Though we go beyond these building blocks in the coming chapters, these concepts alone can help you be a better coach. And as you understand and master these three specific concepts, all of the other knowledge and skills that you layer on top of these building blocks will be more successful as well.
Let’s get right to them.
A: Accountability
As a coach we want those we are coaching to be successful and to develop good skills. Great coaches care and think about the skills that lead to successful performances. And yet the best coaches know that ultimately, performances don’t belong to them, but to the performers.
This may seem like a delicate tightrope, and it can be in one way. As a coach you may feel responsible if someone doesn’t perform well.
After the less-than-desired performance, you may think about what else you could have taught him, another way to have inspired him, or any number of other things.
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While it is important to think about what else you could have done, in the end great coaches know the final accountability for performance lies with the performer and not with the coach.
As we discussed in Chapter Nine, great coaches are keenly aware of what is in their control and what is only in their circle of influence.
The best coaches also realize that their circle of influence is large and they always work to expand it.
As you keep this accountability clear in your mind, you will be a more effective coach. Great coaches promote the confidence, skill, and proficiency of the other person, and always keep the performer clear on his ultimate accountability.
In the end, coaching is a selfless act of helping the other person become more productive and successful. When you keep the account- abilities clear, those you coach, and by extension you, will be more successful.
B: Belief
When someone believes in you and your abilities, you can tell. Can’t you? Of course you can. You tend to work harder and perform better when people believe in you. Don’t you? You know the answer to this, too.
Now let’s flip the equation around. If you believe in someone’s ability or potential to succeed, will you work harder to help her? Will you do just a little bit (or perhaps a whole lot) more than you might otherwise do?
When you put these ideas together you get this resulting principle:
In order to coach others to their maximum potential, you must believe in their potential.
Here’s the bottom line: if you don’t believe people can succeed, don’t coach them. You are doing both them and yourself a disservice if you do. Your innate belief in the potential of those you coach (even more than your skills, knowledge, and experience) is the most important factor you bring to the coaching relationship. We know we discussed these ideas in Chapter Ten. They are too important not to repeat. After all, repetition is the mother of learning.
c oa c h i n g — t h e a b cs o f c oa c h i n g s u c c e s s 161 That advice may sound good, but what do you do in real life? For example, what do you do when you are leading someone you don’t believe in? In this case, to be fair to that person, to yourself, and to the organization, you must do one of three things:
1. Look closer and see the potential that is there. (Remember our conversation about the reticular activating system? Ask your- self whether you are looking for clues to the person’s potential greatness.) Once you find that potential, coach him toward that.
2. Find him a new coach.Find a way to transfer the person to another team, or have someone else coach him—someone who does believe he can succeed.
3. Find him a new work home.If his potential isn’t clear to you, and if you can’t help him find another coach, his chances for success are severely handicapped. Perhaps that opportunity is elsewhere in your organization, or perhaps not.
C: Conversation
To be a good coach you must be able to communicate with the people you coach. (Sorry for the obvious statement.) An important part of the communication skills required for coaching are the skills of conversation. Good coaches are good communicators. Great coaches create conversations.
Too often, in an organizational setting, coaches want ‘‘to give some feedback’’ or worse, ‘‘to set someone straight.’’ They go into a coaching situation well prepared for what they are going to say, so the coaching session is decidedly one-sided and, most likely, not very successful.
Great coaches ask more questions and work to learn more about those they coach in order to get the other person’s ideas, thoughts, and opinions. As they do that they are doing more than creating conver- sation, they are creating common ground, deepening the relationship, and cultivating engagement of the person being coached.
There will always be situations in which a coach might need to provide direct advice or very specific counsel. And even in these cases, when you create conversation you create something more powerful.
Coaching is a complex task. When you recognize and capitalize on the basic building blocks—the ABCs—you will become a more effective coach immediately.
Coaching is more about ‘‘we’’ than ‘‘me,’’ more about conversation and discovery than advice.
We had so much fun with the ABCs that as we finished the book we identified key building blocks D, E, and F. If you want those thoughts, go to the Bonus Bytes page at BudToBossCommunity.com and click on the Coaching Alphabet button.
Your Now Steps
1. Think back to your last coaching session. Determine how much of each of the ABCs was in play.
2. Determine what you can do differently, based on this analysis.
3. Plan (and schedule if necessary) a coaching session today so you can practice these ABCs more effectively right away.
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F E E D B A C K —T H E H E A RT O F A L L C O A C H I N G
Now that we have settled into the concept of coaching and our leadership role in developing others, let’s talk about feedback. Ken Blanchard, best-selling author of The One Minute Manager and many other leadership books, said, ‘‘Feedback is the breakfast of champions.’’ With all due respect to Wheaties, we agree. Feedback is required for anyone to continue to improve his or her performance in any skill and in any setting.
Though coaching is more than just feedback, feedback is an integral part of coaching. In this chapter we explore feedback from a variety of angles, helping you understand it and, more important, helping you use it effectively and confidently in your leadership role. There are two additional benefits you will gain from this chapter—you will be better able to give feedback in any situation (not just with those you lead), and you will be better equipped to receive feedback as well (don’t you want to have every resource available to you to continue to improveyourskills too?).