NEGOTIATION OF GENDER RELATIONS IN THE CONTEXT OF XENOPHOBIA-AFROPHOBIA IN THE TRANSNATIONAL SPACE
5.6 Xenophobia-Afrophobia and gender role rearrangement
5.6.1 Domestic violence and Xenophobia-Afrophobia
Discussing domestic violence is significant to this section as it focuses on Xenophobia-Afrophobia experiences of Somali women and the violence is linked to those anti-foreigners attacks. The anger espoused by men out of frustration after losing their Spaza shops is directed towards Somali women. During the interviews, a handful of Somali women argued that it is during the Xenophobia-Afrophobia attacks that cases of domestic violence are on the increase due to the frustration provoked by economic loss. Habiba said:
The women abuse and beating is a common phenomenon in some homes.And this violence at home starts with a small quarrel from the husband who maybe would like the woman to react. The men are frustrated when their shops are attacked and due to the feeling of anger after losing their source of livelihood they fight women.
Larkin and Renzetti (2009) draw a connection between domestic violence and economic stress, provoked by shortages of resources to sustain family needs. They argue that a sizeable body of knowledge attests to the idea that domestic violence could impact the gender relations in the family. When Somali women realize that their husbands do not have a reliable source of income, due to the loss of his livelihood precipitated by Xenophobia-Afrophobia, they seek employment in order to make up for the financial shortfall. However, when women get jobs, especially with bigger
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earnings than the husband, it could cause tension in the family. This was expressed by Somali women, who said that some husbands are jealous when Somali women are working, and earning more than their husbands. They said that the salary difference could make the husband feel threatened due to the fear of loss of power to command household. Although women are involved in economic activities within the Somali community, men are principally perceived as the primary breadwinners. Thus, conflicts when women earn more are inevitable in some homes due to this social construction that gender men as the breadwinners. According to Larkin and Renzetti (2009) when men experience the feeling of the loss of power in the family, they could decide to be abusive in order to regain control over their household. After Somali men lost their work and property in the Xenophobia-Afrophobia attacks, they resorted to domestic violence in order to regain the power lost as expressed by Kuresh who says:
The man feels jealous when we work. He doesn’t want you to work.
He says it’s our tradition for a woman to stay at home. So the man forces you not to work. He wants you to stay at home and yet what he gives you does not sustain the family. So you suffer because you have to obey your husband. Sometimes it happens to many ladies here. And when those husbands lose what they have during Xenophobia-Afrophobia we can’t just stay home doing nothing.
Women go out to seek job. And when you find one that is paying more than he gets, there is fight between you and him. They believe that men are the ones supposed to be the providers.
The violence against the Somali community affects women who are significant symbols of the household. The study established that, Somali women’s status as foreigners, women, uneducated, without valid documents and some not able to express themselves in English, leaves them vulnerable to their abusive husbands. The husbands are aware that they can never report the matter to the police because they
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cannot express themselves in English; in addition they also fear police harassments.
One of the interviewees, Amira said that they are trapped in a miserable situation whereby they can do nothing but to keep quiet to avoid getting into trouble with Somali traditional authorities. These predicaments were eloquently defined by Ayan in the following manner:
It’s tough to be a Somali woman here. You can go nowhere when your husband abuses you because you are a foreigner and you fear that the government will arrest you should you report your husband to the police, because you don’t have the right documents. So you better keep quiet when the man beats you at home. On the other hand, you lack the language (English) to report what happened to you. It’s not easy to find justice and therefore we chose to remain silent in order to avoid the trouble.
The social networks are significant means through which the Somali women are able to negotiate the phenomenon of domestic violence promoted by Xenophobia- Afrophobia phenomenon. The Somali women lean back on those ties, either new or old, that facilitated their coming to South Africa. During my interview with a South African Somali Women Network, (SASOWNET) member, I learned that she was divorced while she was three months pregnant. Aisha was married in South Africa.
After the Xenophobia-Afrophobia attack saw him lose all the property he owned, her husband divorced her. She said that, before her husband left her, they would quarrel a lot and this would result in violence which she would report to the police. The husband could not withstand the constant reporting to the police and so he had to end the relationship. These quarrels happened after the Xenophobia-Afrophobia incident that saw the husband lose his source of income. Aisha says that since the Xenophobia- Afrophobia attack in April 2015 she has never seen him. She went to her acquaintance that had facilitated her coming to South Africa. She expressed gratitude to her sister who accommodated her after her husband abandoned her.
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After the 2015 attacks my husband lost everything and life was not the same. It was hard to survive on well-wishers that gave us some groceries and little money from the Somali business fraternity. This was the time I needed much attention as a pregnant woman. He didn’t care. He left me and has never come back. And also, before he left, I had numerous fights with her, almost every day. I meet some of my friends who tell me that they see him in Pretoria West and that he is married to a young lady. My friend who helped me when I was coming to South Africa took me to her house. She is my sister, a friend, a mother…she is everything. I thank her for accommodating me. Before I came to South Africa, we lived together in Karatina (Kenya) and hawked perfumes and watches, but she left me behind and came to South Africa where I would join her later.
Most of the women who were interviewed expressed a fear of reporting domestic abuse to the police for fear of victimization by the community. Contrary to Somalia where they feel confined to patriarchal institutions that curtails their freedom, women gained the ‘power’ to choose South African justice systems or the machineries within Somali community for help (Social ties, machineries such as The South African Somali Board, Clan members, South African Somali Association and the South African Somali Women Network. Also, some women chose to confide their predicament to close friends within SASOWNET, whom they trusted, as well as close relatives to solicit support. The South African Somali Women Network creates a platform on which women can express issues surrounding their lives (about domestic abuse). Apart from providing this platform, the SASOWNET in liaison with The Action Support Center links women with bodies that can offer support to the women undergoing domestic abuse. The familial and friendship ties offer support through advice, providing information about lawyers and intervening in case the woman feels that she is helpless. Although some Somali women opt to report to the police station,
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some Somali women expressed that the choice of the South African law enforcement system precipitates some fear of being victimized. When the woman used such means, it was considered as transgressing the community norms that directs the affairs of the Somalis. In fact, reporting domestic violence was considered as an element of not being a good wife25 and it sent a bad image to the community. This however is changing as more women are getting exposed to certain organizations like The South African Somali Women Network, The Action Support Center, South African Human Rights Commission and more importantly coming into contact with other nationalities that explore other avenues for justice execution. On the other hand, when domestic violence happens, the Somali women would also consider using individuals that are respected within the family-who could be relatives or friends to arbitrate the matter, rather than using the means that could jeopardize the life of the husband who he may be imprisoned or subjected to police harassment as a foreigner. Ayan said
Yes, we can opt to report to police. It’s a choice that we have as Somalians living in South Africa. But, this doesn’t sound well among the Somali community, because it can jeopardize the husband, who could be jailed for domestic abuse. However, sometimes it could be good thing to report to police so that you can instill fear to the abusive husband. If you are abused everyday by your husband what do you do? Myself in the beginning, I didn’t report to the police for some time, but afterwards, I reported because he was abusing me every day.
All that I cared was my life and that of my young child.
However, the rise of the Somali women, socially and economically which is buoyed by opportunities available in the country and the support from civil society organization, leads to men feeling disempowered. This sentiment is exacerbated by
25 The Somali society traditionally expects a women to be very submissive to the husband and the male authorities.
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the perception that Somali women are becoming alienated from cultural norms that are considered to be among the community’s hinges. Thus, divorce ensues after the husband considers the rising woman as a threat to his authority in the family.
Several participants pointed out that women cannot exonerate themselves from the escalating cases of divorce. Among them was Sarah who argued that when a man comes home tired and stressed by factors that foreigners experience in South Africa, she adds stress to the already stressed husband through quarrels. The outcome of that is the fight which leads to a man divorcing the wife. She advocates for the respect of the husband no matter what he has done, because men love to be made to feel that they are in charge of the household.Sarah Said;
Women are part of the today’s broken relations. Instead of respecting and supporting the husband who comes home tired, they stress him.
Why should you do such a thing yet you know that it will spill on you? They work in townships and come back home tired and stressed, then you stress him. This cannot end up well.