CHAPTER TWO
3. Factors mediating mother's talk
The first system that is presented is a representation of the factors mediating mothers' talk (figure 5).
In this study all of the participants were female and overwhelmingly identified their mothers as the primary source of sexuality information within their families. This was to be expected because previous research in the area of parent-adolescent sexuality talk has shown that mothers more often than fathers engage in talk on the topic of sex with their adolescent children, and on a broader range of issues (DiLorio et al, 1999; Dittus et al, 1999; Guzman et al, 2003; Jaccard et al, 1996; Nolin
& Petersen, 1992; Ntlabati et al, 2001). This points to a division of labour in the activity of
sexuality talk within the home, and the subject(s) within this system (parent-adolescent) are therefore the mothers of female adolescents (Figure 5, on page 85).
Within this activity system mothers belong to a community of other mothers, which is also a
community of parents. Contemporary expectations within this community, reflected in international research on the topic, are that parents should be involved in the sexuality education of their children (DiClemente, 1990; DiLorio et al, 1999; Dittus et al, 1999; Fox & Inazu, 1980; Guzman et al, 2003; Miller et al, 1998; Nolin & Petersen, 1992; Young-Pistella & Bonati, 1998). However, results of this study indicate that this has not always been the case. From participants' accounts it appeared that for older participants such as Ann and Jill who are currently in their 60's, parent- adolescent talk on the topic of sex was not a normative requirement when they were adolescents.
Ann and Jill explained that people did not talk openly about sex when they were young. In the 1950's women were expected to learn about sex from their husbands after they were married, and for parents to initiate talk on the topic of sex before their daughters were married would have been deemed inappropriate.
In the methodology section it was explained that women in different age categories were interviewed in order to study social and cultural factors mediating sexuality talk, and to investigate how this changed over time. As illustrated above, participants' descriptions of parent-adolescent sexuality talk revealed that very little talk occurred between mothers and daughters for participants aged 45 to 60 years (see extracts 35 and 36). However, by comparing participants' accounts of mother-
daughter sexuality talk it became apparent that, compared with older participants, those participants aged 35 years and younger reported more frequent talks with mothers on issues pertaining to sex (see extracts 33 and 37).
An explanation for the trend toward parent-adolescent sexuality talk is provided in older
participants' accounts of the 'sexual revolution' that occurred in the 1960's, and along with that the introduction of oral contraceptives (see extracts 13 and 14). Both Ann and Jill describe the sexual revolution as an event that impacted significantly on traditional sex practices. For example, they explain how the availability of oral contraceptives meant that women were able to experiment sexually for the first time without the risk of falling pregnant, and they also explained how this had the effect of shifting responsibility for the avoidance of pregnancy from men to women. Similar findings on the shift of contraceptive responsibility mediated by the availability of female
contraceptives was found in research conducted by Ntlabati et al. (2001) in a deep rural area in the Eastern Cape, indicating that the introduction of female contraceptives impacted broadly in society and were not limited to one specific context.
The results also indicate that the sexual revolution and the introduction of oral contraceptives (a tool mediating sexual activity) had a significant impact not only on traditional sex practices, but it also changed the way in which people talked about sex. Participants born a generation later in the late 1960's and early 1970's (currently aged in their mid-thirties), reported talking more frequently with their mothers on the topic of sex. Participants described those discussions as being prompted when they started dating (see extract 35). This can be read as an acknowledgement of the context in which sex is initiated, but it also illustrates an acknowledgement of the trend in this generation to initiate sex outside of the institution of marriage. It is arguable that such factors necessitate greater parental involvement in young people's sexual socialisation and may account for the trend towards parent- adolescent sexuality talk. On the scope of those discussions the results of this study reveal that the risk of pregnancy features prominently, with participants describing their mothers as being primarily concerned with talk on the avoidance of pregnancy (extracts 31, 35, 38, 39). This is consistent with a large body of research in the area of mother-daughter sexuality talk (DiLorio et al, 1999; Dittus et al, 1999; Helpren, 1983; Nolin & Petersen, 1992; Ntlabati et al, 2001; Young-Pistella & Bonati,
1998).
Contemporary adolescents' descriptions of mother-daughter sexuality talk indicate that mothers in this community are still primarily concerned with the need for female adolescents to be responsible for avoiding unintended pregnancy, which participants' mothers associate with adolescent sexual activity. Within this group, additional concerns in mother-daughter sexuality talk included HIV/AIDS (extract 36) and child sexual abuse (extract 37). However, these issues were marginalised in comparison with the risk of unintended pregnancy and the need to avoid that.
Young participants explained that their mothers' concerns about pregnancy stemmed from their own experiences of early parenthood (extract 38) and a desire to protect their daughters from
consequences that would impact negatively on their future (extract 31).
The continued focus of mother-daughter sexuality talk on the risk of unintended pregnancy appears to be out of sync with contemporary South African research which focuses overwhelmingly on the risk of HIV/AIDS (e.g. Abdool Karim et al, 1991; Akukuwe, 1999; Campbell et al, 1998; Kelly, 2000; Kelly & Parker, 2000; Kelly et al, 2001; Leclerc-Madlala, 2002; MacPhail & Campbell, 2000; Makiwane, 1998; Varga & Makubalo, 1996; Vundule et al, 2001; Wood & Jewkes, 1997;
Wood et al, 1998). One explanation for this disparity is that, given the demographics of this
sample, individuals in this community do not recognise themselves as being particularly vulnerable to HIV/AIDS. After all, HIV/AIDS research in South Africa focuses overwhelmingly on poor and non-white communities.
Nevertheless, parents now more than ever before are expected to talk to their adolescent children about sex. However, the expectation for parents to act as primary sexuality educators is problematic because it appears from participants' descriptions of sexuality talk that mothers do not condone their adolescent daughters becoming sexually active. This is indicated by a central theme emerging from mother-daughter sexuality talk which is that while mothers undertake to talk to their adolescent daughters about sex, talk predominantly focuses on the 'risks' associated with sexual activity (extracts 33, 34, 37, 38,). In other words, mothers do not talk about sex per se - there was no mention of the process of the activity or talk pertaining to desire or pleasure in sex. This points to talk on the process of sex as a taboo subject within this community, as well as indicating the limited acceptance of adolescent sexuality. These findings indicate that for mothers the object of the activity of mother-daughter talk on the topic of sex is to focus on the risks associated with becoming
sexuality active, and the desired outcome of this talk is sexual abstinence rather than an education on sex.
Maternal restraint in sexuality talk indicated in the results of the study is partly accounted for by Kelly et al. (2001) who suggest that a primary function of parental engagement in sexuality talk with adolescent children is to uphold social and cultural values. The problem is that in so doing, mothers are forced to navigate their way through contradictory ideals. Mothers are expected simultaneously to provide their daughters with information that will protect them from the negative outcomes associated with adolescent sexuality, which arguably requires that they acknowledge their daughters as potentially sexual beings, while upholding social and cultural ideals that prohibit adolescent sexuality, as well as their own attitudes and values. Mothers' focus on risks and abstinence as a means to avoid those risks appears therefore to be a strategy developed in response to the
contradictions in this system. It also appears from the literature that this strategy is not limited to this social and cultural context. The avoidance of sexual initiation as a central theme in mother- daughter sexuality talk has been highlighted elsewhere (DiLorio et al, 1999; Dittus et al, 1999;
Miller et al, 1998; Murray, 1994; Tucker, 1989; Young-Pistella & Bonati, 1998). A number of international researchers have gone so far as to argue that mothers utilize sexuality talk as a means to orientate their daughters to normative values and ideals, rather than as an opportunity to share
to share information that is really useful to sexually active adolescents, such as where to obtain contraceptives (Dittus et al, 1999; Jaccard et al, 1996; Nolin & Petersen, 1992; Rogers, 1999;
Tucker, 1989). Results from this study certainly indicate that mothers' 'management' of contradictions in this system are skewed in the direction of communicating values and ideals, thereby supporting the suggestion made by those researchers.
Analysis of mother-daughter sexuality talk using Engestrom's (1999) model of the activity system reveals tensions and contradictions mediating talk in that context. This is illustrated in Figure 5.
Subject Mother
Rules
Mediating artefacts Media: books, television, magazines
Object ^outcome
parents ought to speak to their children about sex in order to protect them
• children ought not to be engaging in sexual activity
Object - protection Outcome -abstinence
Division of Labour
- mothers assume primary role in childcare & this includes sexuality talk
- mother positioned as adult in parent-adolescent sexuality talk- denotes power differential
Figure 5. Factors mediating mothers' talk
In contemporary mother-daughter sexuality talk tensions and contradictions mediating mothers' talk occurred most notably between the various rules mediating activity in the system. These rules were related to inherent power differentials in parent-adolescent relationships, and the object and outcome of the activity, motivating the nature and scope of talk within the system.
As identified in the results of the study, a normative expectation of modern parents is to educate their adolescent children on issues pertaining to sex and sexuality. However, underlying this is an
assumption that adolescents are potentially sexual beings, and it is indicated in the results of this study that parents are hesitant to acknowledge that. One reason why adolescent sexuality is
problematic for parents is that within this community sex is not normatively permitted to occur at a young age. In addition, protectionist discourses arise from the 'problematisation' of adolescent sexuality in the literature on the topic. In other words, parents have a duty to protect their adolescent daughters from the potentially harmful outcomes of engaging in sexual activity. While 'protection' could take various forms, participants in this study argued that their parents' preference was for them to abstain from sexual activity until they were married. This highlights a tension between the object and the outcome of mother-daughter sexuality talk. While abstinence is not the only means to secure protection in sexual activity, in mother-daughter sexuality talk it is the preferred scenario and this may point to an ideological motive in mothers' engagement in sexuality talk with their daughters, rather than a purely protectionist one.