5.6 Research Reflexivity
6.1.3 The Perceived Crises of Sexuality
6.1.3.1 Perceived Crisis of Irresponsible Sexuality
Faith discourse on the need for men to take control of their sexualities and sexual desires also took central stage in Buchan’s perception of crisis in masculinity in South Africa. In a context where a man’s ability to perform sexually is highly esteemed in regards to performing masculinity, Buchan’s (2012) faith discourse points out that irresponsible sexuality is an indication of a crisis in masculinity. Entrenched in men failing to subdue their sexual desires, Buchan applies Charismatic/Pentecostal theology to discuss issues of marital infidelity within the understanding of Christian faith. Concerns on crisis in masculinity in relation to irresponsible sexual behaviours range from: men sleeping with their partners before marriage—termed as fornication (Buchan 2012:218); watching pornography as ungodly for a man’s spiritual health (2008, Dying to Live, Conference DVD, Disk #6) and having affairs with other women while married to another as adultery (2008, Dying to Live, Conference DVD, Disk #4). For Buchan (2012), a real man is a one-woman man (2012:218). Using his own example to address men at the MMC, Buchan cautions men against promiscuity and immoral sexual behaviour as not an honourable thing stating:
In my young days, when I was a wild man, men used to brag in the pub about how many women they are stringing along at the same time. That is being dishonest, and is to be despised. God has no time for two-timers.
When courage, sincerity and fidelity come into play, it makes a woman respect her man. It makes her proud to be his girlfriend, fiancée and eventually wife (2012:215).
Notice the use of the term ‘wild man’ in Buchan’s quotation cited above. This seems to imply uncontrolled male sexual behaviour in relation to men having difficulties in handling their sexuality. Because sexuality is about power (van Klinken 2011b), Buchan seems to show in this case a perception of crisis in masculinity where men can abuse their powers within a marriage relationship or within faith communities if they decide to abandon their sexuality to run wild. Van Klinken’s (2011a) research illustrates a similar
awareness in a Zambian Pentecostal context where men are thought to have a particular problem in the area of mastering their sexuality.
Further, Buchan gives an example of what a lifestyle of sexual unfaithfulness can do to men by points to Tiger Woods, the well-known golfer stating:
Unfortunately we look at probably one of the greatest golfers in the history of the game from the time it started at St. Andrews in Scotland.
He was literary unbeatable and broke every record ever made. He got involved in immorality. Not only did it cost him his family, his wife and his beautiful children, but also costs him his career. Since then, he has not won a tournament. He is trying so hard and it’s tragic. My heart bleeds for him (2012:222).
With this example, young men are encouraged to make a decision whether they are going to be ‘real men’ and get married, while older men are encouraged to be examples and role models and be committed to one pattern “until death do them part” (Buchan 2012).
This, in itself highlights a perceived crisis in masculinity where marital commitment seems to be a ‘bitter marriage pill’ for some men. Sympathetically Buchan (2004:29) contends, “I grieve over mighty men of God who have been caught in adultery, or who are blatantly divorcing their wives in order to marry another woman.”
Elaborating how men fail to apply self-control in their sexual behaviour, illustrates more about the perceived crisis in current masculinities. This is evident as Buchan (2012:22) strongly stresses the need for commitment to sexual control among “things which influence men and make them into noble men.” Urging men to say no to sexual immorality and be men of God, Buchan further observes:
It’s sad when we see “mutton dressed up as lamb”… Old men still trying to act young and flirt with young women. Sometimes they get away with it because they might have money. We, God’s Mighty Men, are expected to be men of valor, of high principles and high morals, men that women can trust and, because we are known as men of God, no lady should ever feel insecure in our presence. She should know that we will protect her with our very lives if necessary (2012:219).
The expectation of men to be ‘mighty’ and strong (men of valor), men of high morals, men that women can trust and feel secure with demonstrates a perceived crisis in masculinity when comes to men handling their sexuality in a responsible way. For
Buchan, masculine strength (to be men of valor), is never realised when men become sexual predators seeking to demonstrate their sexual adventure and exploitation. The task for Mighty Men is to acquire ‘safe masculinities’ by not having concurrent partners.
According to this understanding, masculinity is not acquired by how many women a man can have chained in one particular time in season, but is acquired by the ability for males to “man” their sexualities.
As such, control over masculine sexuality reveals true strength for godly manhood (see van Klinken 2013), where men prove their manhood through sexual self-restraint. For Buchan, this perception of crisis can also be overcome by a true definition of what masculinity must be characterised by—fidelity, sincerity and honesty if a man is to attract respect as a quality that marks godly manhood. This, I argue, is contrasted with the definition of a ‘real man’ allied with the ‘male sexual organ’ where perceptions of masculinities are understood by how far men can prove their masculinities through sexual achievements and conquest as seems acceptable in popular contemporary cultures in South Africa.
Due to conservative moralism regarding issues of sex and sexuality among Charismatic and Evangelical adherents, only three participants out of the 34 men interviewed openly commented on issues of male sexuality as an important behaviour for men to attain ideal godly manhood. However, it is important to note that ‘muted discourses’ evident among other participants on issue of men and sexuality do not mean that sexuality had nothing to do with perceptions of masculinity in crisis within the MMC. Overall, responses from participants strongly emphasised the notion of self-control, seeming to suggest a perceived crisis in this area among Christian men. Consider Mighty Man #15 and Mighty Men #30 who note the difficulties which come with expectations to be ‘a man’ in relation to sexual morality:
Extract 7:
Men need to know that it is okay to fail. There is great expectation, on men to perform, to lead, to provide and to be and when men fail that, they feel like they are not men, and they have to start a fresh. Especially for the guys who fail in the bigger area.
On the big, let’s say a lust of something or immorality and they are caught out in that.
That shatters them because they have been conditioned to; “you can’t. You can’t fail.”
You know what I mean? “This is who you are.” Absolute pressure to be a man.
Pressure to be a husband. Pressure, big time! (Mighty Man #15, interview 13 August 2011).
Extract 8:
Morality is a big issue with men. A number of men abuse their marriage vows whereby they go out to seek other ladies and they end up breaking their families and things like that. Angus’ teaching will also help men to be able to steak to one wife and be able responsible for their wife. This is a good teaching if a man steaks to one wife; I mean he will be able to take care of the family. And I mean in this also HIV and AIDS thing, I mean you protect your family from this. And things like that. Once you die, your family suffers, there is no income, and the children are not provided for, things like that (Mighty Man #30, interview 30 June 2012).
The observation that Christian men are not able to “stick to one wife” (Extract 5) is an indication that they are experiencing difficulties in living sexually responsible lives. This becomes a perceived crisis when men are not able to care for, and ‘protect’ their families especially in an HIV and AIDS context. Also, important to consider is the statement indicating the fear to “fail in the bigger area. On the big; let’s say a lust of something or immorality and they are caught out in that” (Extract 4). The ‘pressure’ that comes with an expectation conditioning men that they cannot fail in a sexually related behaviour likewise subjects men to a feeling that they are not men enough.
The challenge regarding male sexuality and its implications on perceptions of masculinities still remains crucial. Unlike Buchan who seeks to engage ideal patterns of masculinity by calling men to return to godly manhood, scholars of religion and gender have critically questioned the influence of sexuality on perceptions and patterns of masculinity. Because religion is better placed to influence behavioural change, Lovemore Togarasei (2012:230) shows that the Christian context remains one of the most important forums for addressing social issues. It is therefore impressive that Buchan’s emphasis on issues of male sexuality in such men’s gatherings which attract multitudes of men should be considered a positive contribution towards reshaping ideals of masculinities within a perceived crisis among Christian men in South Africa. One would say that Buchan’s teachings counter ideals of hegemonic masculinities encouraging men to withdraw from risky behaviours that call men to sexually prove their masculinities.
This kind of emphasis stresses alternative versions of manhood within advances made by popular contemporary cultures where sexual irresponsibility is an accepted norm for men and is even excused. It is therefore certain as Victor Seidler (1989:22) has suggested that the language of male sexuality that we have inherited is a language of will, performance and conquest and sex can be a way men seek prove their masculinity.
Van Klinken (2011a, 2011b and 2013) addresses similar concerns and not only critiques dominant masculinities but also challenges the impact of male sexuality on patterns of masculinities around church praxis within an HIV and AIDS context from an African Christian perspective. Arguing that men’s behaviour in sexual relationships has been the subject of recent scholarly investigation (van Klinken 2011b:281), I concur with van Klinken’s cautions against the fault of generalisation which depicts African men as being dominant and unable to control their sexuality. However, the crucial question still remains: why does male sexuality tend to be expressed through dominance and power (van Klinken 2011b). An answer to this concern (of course not as simply stated here), is that sexuality for most men is closely linked to their perception of being a ‘real man’ and either threatens or strengthens their sense of masculinity. It is within this contradiction that perceived crisis in masculinity exists. One would then argue that male sexuality saturates the image of ‘masculinity’ to an extent that it forms part of masculine security or insecurity for some men.
I now turn to faith discourses which concern perception of crisis in masculinity and seek to address men on issues related to same-gender sexualities.