TYPES OF ABUSE
5.5.1 Physical Abuse
Wiehe (1994) and FAMSA (1997) defined physical abuse as hitting, slapping, kicking, throwing the spouse to the floor and/or assault with a weapon.
Mullender (1996) added that threats of abuse could also be regarded as physical abuse. Fleming (1979) and Browne (in Cardarelli, 1997) have contended that women cannot possibly injure men to the same extent that men can and do injure women. Eight of the participants experienced physical abuse, ranging from mildly aggressive physical behaviours such as pushing and shoving, to more severe forms of assault including hitting the victim with an object and knocking the victim down. Some of the incidences of phy~icalabuse that will be discussed below can indeed be regarded as severe. Despite the generally lower levels of injury resulting from an attack from a woman as compared to an attack from a man, Straus (in Gelles and Loseke, 1993: 67) maintained that husband abuse was none-the-Iess a serious problem "just as it would be if men "only" slapped their wives". If minor assaults were condoned one would reinforce that 'the marriage license is a hitting license'. Wiehe (1994) stated that the extent of the injury was not a criterion for establishing whether abuse has occurred. This is evident in domestic violence laws such as the Domestic Violence Act of 1998, which did not only include severe forms of aggression. The Act makes provision for hitting, slapping, shoving, threats of violence and other so called minor acts of violence to be included as a form of abuse(Koove~ee, 1999). As pointed out by Hague and Malos (1993) and Jukes (1999) the injury itself was not the purpose of the abuse, but such acts were carried out with the intention of controlling the victim. We therefore need to focus on the impact of the violent acts on the victim and the marriage rather than the extent of the injury. Straus (in Gelles and Loseke, 1993) also pointed out that these so-called minor acts of violence placed women in danger of more severe retaliation from their male partners. Table 5.2 below presents a summary of the types of physical abuse experienced by the research participants.
TYPES OF PHYSICAL ABUSE
*
NUMBER OFEXPERIENCED PARTICPANTS
Threat of assault/murder 2
Personal belongings destroyed 1
Burnt 1
Use of 3rd party to assault 2
Hit, slapped, punched 2
Objects thrown 4
Attacked with a weapon (an actual 6 weapon or an object that was used ,
as a weapon, such as a knife)
TABLE 5.2
TYPES OF PHYSICAL ABUSE EXPERIENCED BY PARTICIPANTS N= 11
*
Multiple responses allowedFAMSA (1997) and Fedler (1999) pointed out that the use of a third party to threaten or assault a victim was also regarded as physical abuse. Two participants reported that their wives used other people to threaten and/or assault them. Mark experienced many threats from his wife's friends, acquaintances and relatives. He expressed confusion around this:
"I don't know what she goes around telling people. Next thing I know, I'm the bad one. Her families come and threaten me and all. Her brother-in-law hit me once. Her boss phones me all the time. If we have a fight or something the day before, the next day he phones me and tells me to leave her alone, otherwise he will
"teach me a lesson". What kind of a boss is he? When I was walking home one day, I was coming through a pathway, two guys gave me a terrible hiding and told me to leave her alone."
During one of the couple's many arguments, Mark's father-in-law, who was said to have been encouraged by his wife, hit him. The assault was so severe that he sustained a ruptured eardrum and a shattered kneecap. Although he defended himself against injury, he did not attack his father-in-law out of respect for an elderly person.
Ravi's first experience of physical abuse occurred during the courtship. He was bewildered by the experience and had difficulty believing what he was experiencing throughout the relationship. On two occasions however, Ravi retaliated during the abuse. Ferraro (in Cardarelli, 1997) observed that one strategy of survival for victims of abuse was to selectively fight back to demonstrate their resistance and their lack of acceptance of the abuse. The author found however that it was generally ineffective in putting an end to the violence and in some cases could actually escalate the violence experienced.
Ravi's experience supported this:
"The first time it shocked her. I slapped her back while she was carrying on. I could see it in her eyes. She never expected it. I just wanted it to stop. She stopped but I didn't like what I was doing so I stopped. We were brought up believing that you treated women with great respect. My father always told us never to lift a hand to a woman. I promised myself I would never do it again.
The second time, we were driving. I'm not sure where we were coming from; I think we were going home. Anyway, we started arguing about something. I don't even remember what. All of a sudden she took a beer bottle and hit me on the side of my head.
Hey, what a shock I got. I didn't even know what happened. I almost lost control of the car. Hey, I swore at her. I mean, what the hell was she thinking? You can't just do that while we're driving. Man she started hitting me ... punching. And the children were even there. Gees. I just drove straight home."
Ravi continued to be passive even when he was seriously physically assaulted. On the one occasion his wife came at him with a knife. He sustained scratches and lacerations to his arms and shoulder while trying to defend himself and remove the knife from her. The second serious incident was when his wife burnt him with cigarettes on his hands and legs while they were lying in bed together. On this occasion, Ravi was stunned into inaction for a few seconds. He then tried to stop her from burning him but that was not before she managed to burn him at least 6 times on his hands and legs. Ravi's response was similar to many of the other participants in the study who generally passively 'accepted' the abuse. Most participants attributed this to beliefs against violence and for the need to treat women with respect.
Peter recalled four attempts of physical assault, during which he dodged and tried to escape from his wife. She frequently threw objects such as ornaments and shoes at him or around the room when they argued. The most serious incident was when she picked up a knife and came at him. Believing that she was capable of attacking him with the weapon, he ran into his car and locked the car doors to hide from her. His wife followed him and banged at the windows and door trying to get at him. He felt intense fear and in a sense could not believe what was happening. Peter related the incident as follows:
"I was so scared. I kept thinking that she would break the windows or somehow manage to get inside. She swore and cursed, called me all kinds of names. Banged on the windows. I was terrified. I couldn't believe it was happening. My God I would never have even dreamt of doing something like that to her... Even when she had the first affair, I was so hurt. People told me I should have hit her but I couldn't. That's not me. And here she was trying to kill me, swearing me ... After a good couple hours she got tired I think,
and went inside. I waited for a few hours in the car, in case she was waiting for me inside. Then I went in."
As shown in table 5.2 two participants, namely Mark and Junaid also experienced, what they perceived to be attempted murders. Mark's wife attempted to poke him on a few occasions and threw ornaments, shoes, and utensils at him. He sustained a number of scratches as a result. Junaid explained that these life-threatening attacks resulted in a sense of complete instability and perpetual tension in the marriage. He never knew how she would react in an argument. This instability is a characteristic of the tension build-up stage discussed in section 5.4 above. Padayachee and Pillay (1993) and FAMSA (1997) found that victims often experienced the tension-build up stage like walking on eggshells. Victims felt very insecure and a perpetual state of anxiety. Some victims have reported that they wished that the abusive episode would "be over and done with" rather than waiting anxiously and nervously for this to happen.
As the relationship progressed, the abusive episodes in Junaid's marriage, which initially occurred only in private, occurred more frequently in public as well. Towards the end of the marriage, as the arguments and abuse became more frequent, she repeatedly threatened to kill him. The increase in frequency and severity of the abuse that Junaid spoke of was common amongst half of the sample as well and has been supported by Wiehe (1994), Mullender (1996) and Browne (in Cardarelli, 1997). Anil's experience was a striking example of this.
The abuse that he experienced included being punched, hit with objects (shoes, dishes, utensils, sticks), being scratched, his personal belongings (clothes and other things he bought) being tom, broken, or given away. The most severe of these was when his wife took an iron pipe and hit him during one of their frequent fights. He needed medical attention and was taken by neighbours to the hospital. He received seven stitches on his head. In all of these attacks, Anil has never retaliated against his wife. He has defended himself, tried to take
weapons away from her and run away from her. This type of self-defensive behaviour that was reported by Ani! as well as other research participants was consistent with the study conducted by Renzetti (1992). In her study with 100 lesbian couples, she found that the majority of victims (64) engaged in self- defensive behaviour including pushing the abuser away, holding the abuser's arms to prevent being hit and blocking punches. The escalation of violence that some participants experienced was concordant with chronic abuse, which Leeds (quoted by Renzetti, 1992) stated usually escalated over time and might lead to life-threatening situations.