2.5.1 Lack of media attention
Because of the lack of media attention, many people may believe that husband abuse does not happen, laugh at the notion of a man being abused by his wife, say that husband abuse only happens in self-defence or that surely there is only a small percentage of men in this situation. As a result husbands who were being abused, may not realise that they were actually experiencing abuse. They may believe that their wives' behaviour was normal and attribute such behaviour to her personality or circumstances. FurthellTlore, victims of husband abuse might believe that their experience was a unique one. They may feel uncomfortable to disclose the abuse since they have not heard of others who have experienced a similar situation.
2.5.2Private problem
As pointed out by Wiehe (1994), violence within the home, be it female on male, male on female, child abuse or elder abuse, was regarded as a private problem.
People were therefore reluctant to discuss the abuse with anyone. Rennison and Welchans (2000) found that in the National Crime Victimisation Study conducted in the United States, about half of the male victims' reasons and a third of the female victims' reasons for not reporting their intimate partner victimisation to the police was because it was a "private or personal matter".
Furthermore in the study conducted by Kooverjee (1999), she observed that many people did not regard abuse as a crime. It was regarded as a family or marital problem. People did not want to make public the difficulties they were experiencing. Gelles, quoted by Padayachee and Pillay (1993), supported this, saying that both victims and abusers went to great lengths to hide the abuse from the outside world. Efforts were often made to deny the abuse and to conceal any visible scars.
2.5.3 Cost/benefit ratio
Wiehe (1994) contended that the cost/benefit ratio might also account for the low reports of partner abuse. The cost to the survivor who reported and exposed himself and his partner was far greater as compared to the benefits of remaining in the marriage and the financial, emotional, and social rewards that went with it. By reporting the abuse the victim may experience retaliation from the perpetrator, be blamed for the abuse or lose his social standing. These will be elaborated on below. The researcher's experience showed that most women only reported the abuse after many years or experiences of violence, saying that they wanted to keep the problem within the family. Reaching out for help was seen as the last resort, after other efforts to address the problem had failed.
2.5.4 Stigma
Wiehe (1994~ highlighted that the stigma attached to the notion of abuse, discouraged victims from reporting the abuse. Even today, after decades of publicity on wife abuse, many myths still prevail. Women who disclosed that they were abused were typically blamed, shunned or ignored. Victims also reported secondary victimisation from medical practitioners, the criminal justice system and other helping professionals. Copeland (2002(a)) quoted Padayachee, who normalised male victims' silence. She maintained that men keeping silent about abuse today could be likened to women being silent about abuse 20 years ago.
2.5.5 Acceptance of responsibility
Victims seldom reported the abuse they experienced because they often accepted responsibility for the abuse and believed that they had provoked the attack in some way (Finkelhor, Hotaling and !V"o, 1988). Male perpetrators of abuse went to great lengths to project blame onto the victim and relinquish any
responsibility for the abuse. After some time, self-blame became internalised and the victim accepted that s/he has provoked the abuse. Renzetti (1992) added that self-blame increased when helping professionals reinforced the abusive relationship by blaming the victim, denying that the abuse occurred and excusing the abuse. In a study conducted by Gel/es (1972), he found that when most professionals were confronted with the claim of a husband being abused by his wife they did not believe the victim. The claim may be ignored or the professional blamed the victim by assuming that he did something to provoke the attack. Alternatively, professionals believe that the male may be fabricating this claim to cover up for his own abusive behaviour.
2.5.6 Awareness of services
Awareness of available services was another factor impacting on whether or not husband abuse was reported (Finkelhor, Hotaling and Yllo, 1988). If victims were aware of services and aware that they would be supported, then it was more likely that they would seek help. If however victims felt that they would be ridiculed or blamed and might not be helped, then they were less likely to seek help. Bearing in mind the general attitudes towards husband abuse already discussed and victims' perceptions of not receiving help, it was understandable that men were reluctant to report the abuse. In relation to this, Renzetti (1992) maintained that victims also had the perception that no help will be received if the matter was reported. She found that society created a definition of v1ctimisation. Victims had to prove the legitimacy of their claims to counsellors, the police and friends. If there were little or no physical injuries, the victims were less likely to be believed. Victims found it even more difficult to 'prove' that they had been sexually, financially or emotionally abused. As stated earlier in section 2.2 society generally did not regard other types of abuse apart from physical abuse as being serious.
2.5.7 Ineffective police responses
As stated in chapter one, little research has been conducted on husband abuse.
Since both wife and husband abuse are aspects of family violence, exploring abused women's reasons for not reporting the abuse to the police, may provide insights into why abused husbands did not report the violence. Dobash and Dobash quoted by Wiehe (1994) highlighted some of these reasons. Victims feared retaliation from the abuser, felt that the police will be unhelpful, feared being disgraced by the police being involved and were concemed for children who may witness a possible arrest. The researcher's own experience has been that abused women, who were in possession of a protection order against their violent husbands, rarely utilized it. In a study conducted by Kooverjee (1999), many abused women reported that the police were unhelpful. The police did not respond immediately to the complaints. The police arrived at the marital home a few hours after being telephoned or up to a few weeks later. They only arrived at the marital home after constant telephone calls from the victim. Even if the victim was in possession of a protection order and a warrant of arrest the police rarely arrested the abuser. Rather they attempted to mediate or took the abuser for a drive to "cool off". Some women were blamed and mocked by the police.
Cannings (quoted by Wiehe, 1994) stated that the perception of the police about who was responsible for the abuse had a tremendous effect on whether the victim will call for help again. Cannings stressed that in most cases where men have telephoned the police, police officers scoffed at their claims of being abused, stated that they must have done something to provoke the attack or arrested the abused male on the female's assertion that she had been the victim (Wiehe, 1994). Renzetti (1992) quoted studies done by Edwards, and Saunders
& Size that showed that sexist stereotypes were prevalent among official help providers such as emergency room personnel and the police, who were more inclined to believe that the abuser was male. Wiehe (1994) emphatically stated that the victims were less likely to ignore the abuse and more likely to report it only when the courts sent a clear message that domestic violence of any type
was a crime. The burden of having to prove that one was a victim regardless o~
one's gender kept people in the cycle of abuse.
2.5.8 Gender roles and sexist stereotypes
Gender images of men and women have also contributed to the issue of abused husbands not becoming a recognised social problem (Wiehe, 1994). Hague and Malos (1993) maintained that only a few men reported the abuse they experienced to the police because of the masculine ideals in culture, which discouraged husbands from reporting the abuse. According to patriarchal cultural scripts, men were supposed to be in control of their relationships, the head of the home and strong whereas the female was seen as being physically weak, passive and needing protection, care and the attention of the male (Wiehe, 1994). Men might also ascribe to the ideology of machismo, which is the worldwide view that exalts male dominance by assuming masculinity, virility and physicality to be the ideal male essence. These 'real men' were seen as adversarial warriors competing for scarce resources in a dangerous world.
Traditional sociocultural role prescriptions for men indicated that they should be in control in the marital relationship. When men were abused, they were reluctant to report it or seek help because doing so will be a sign of their failure to live up to their role prescription and sUbsequently their failure as men. Those men who did disclose the abuse were subject to much ridicule from peers and society in general. In 18th century Europe, a man who was supposedly beaten by his wife, was made to wear a dress while riding backwards on a donkey through the town while the whole town ridiculed him (mensnet@CAP,GWU,EDU, 20/10/94).