Chapter 5. A Qualitative Representation (and Explanation) of Exceptional Academic Achievement Achievement
5.2 Sikhumbuso (College of Agriculture, Engineering and Sciences)
5.2.1 A vision for the future: “I want her to be free.”
Early in the focus group discussion that Sikhumbuso attended, the participants discussed the pressures of studying (such as financial constraints and lack of family support), and how these may or may not influence academic performance. In commenting on how he coped with pressure, Sikhumbuso asked, “Who is going to support my mother if I don’t do well here?” He further added, “So [with] those questions, I manage to overcome the pressure” (Sikhumbuso, FGD 2, 92), thereby affirming how he managed study-related pressures. It was thus not unexpected when Sikhumbuso presented a photograph (see Photograph 5-1) of his mother for discussion during the photo-elicitation interview.
I don’t know what can I call it? (.) But I will describe the title. I think for me, my mom is someone who has been through a lot her entire life and (.) eish65. It’s a problem (.) It’s a lot (.) ((Sikhumbuso started to cry at this point)) But I think she is (.) I am someone who is going to give her happiness one day. So, that’s what I want is to give her happiness. Ja (.) Ja (.) sorry. (Sikhumbuso, PEI 866, 331)
Sikhumbuso clarified, “My father passed away at an early age, [and he has] this thing that [he needed] to take care of her [his mother]” (Sikhumbuso, PEI 8, 378). Sikhumbuso’s vision for his future was “to give her [his mother] happiness one day” (Sikhumbuso, PEI 8, 331). Prior to discussing the photograph of his mother, it emerged that Sikhumbuso was raised by his paternal grandmother. He reported not being able to recall the circumstances surrounding this
arrangement, other than
At some point my gran [grandmother] actually said to my mom or whatever that I have to stay with her for some reason (.) But what I know is that I used to visit my mom, and (.) Ja. I don’t know really, I don’t know (.) There might be some or other
65 “Eish” is a common South African expression of surprise or frustration (http://www.southafrica.info/travel/advice/saenglish.htm#.Ur1B8vuzIpo).
66 PEI 8 refers to “photo-elicitation interview 8”, held with Sikhumbuso. The photo-elicitation interviews, conducted with the eight research participants who completed the auto-photographical component of the research, were numbered from 1 to 8 in the order in which they were conducted.
Photograph 5-1. Untitled (Sikhumbuso H9)
conflicts that happened there I feel (.) What ever happened, but I’m okay.
(Sikhumbuso, PEI 8, 476)
In discussing Photograph 5-1, Sikhumbuso remarked that it was taken during the mid-year vacation when he went to visit his mother. When asked where the photograph was taken, he noted,
Outside the (.) this is where she is working [the house depicted in Photograph 5-1].
So it’s just outside. She was waiting for them to actually open up for her and so, when I came I found her outside so. I didn’t even go in. So I feel like she is not free you know (.) she is not free. This is not what I want for her. The guy that she is working for is brilliant. He actually (.) he is helping her to build a house out of what he puts together, but she has been working for him for over ten years. He is a good guy, but I feel that she needs to rest. (Sikhumbuso, PEI 8, 776)
Later during the interview, I remarked, “There is a gate there” (Nick, PEI 8, 799) in Photograph 5-1, to which Sikhumbuso replied,
And she has to wait. You can see that (.) that she is begging for (.) she needs this work to survive you know. I want her to be free. I want her to work if she wants to.
But for me if I finish, I do everything correctly I want her to stay with me. I want her to be free. I want her to say finally I am happy. (Sikhumbuso, PEI 8, 805)
Sikhumbuso used the words “free” and “freedom” frequently when discussing the photograph of his mother, suggesting that her emancipation was related to his taking care of her after he had graduated. This theme was also reinforced when he referred to finding his mother outside her place of employment waiting for her employer to open the gate for her. Although not specifically referred to during the photo-elicitation interview, the inadvertent inclusion of a gate in
Photograph 5-1 was significant in that it reinforced a theme of freedom, or in this instance of not being free. Importantly, gates have the potential to open or be opened, and it was almost as if Sikhumbuso positioned himself as being able to open the gate to a future freedom for his mother.
This was evident when he claimed, “If I finish, I do everything correctly I want her to stay with me. I want her to be free” (Sikhumbuso, PEI 8, 804). It was not adequate for Sikhumbuso to just finish his degree. He emphasised doing “everything correctly”, alluding to the high standard of achievement he attained and expected of himself.
It was useful to position the above theme of freedom for Sikhumbuso’s mother (and current status of not being free) in relation to Photograph 5-2 (see below). Photograph 5-2 depicts Sikhumbuso’s daughter. This was the first photograph that he chose to present and discuss during the photo-elicitation interview. After giving this photograph the title of “My angel, my inspiration”, Sikhumbuso remarked, “I am studying so I can have a better future so that she can have a better future” (Sikhumbuso, PEI 8, 32).
Later in the photo-elicitation interview, after discussing Sikhumbuso’s relationship with his daughter’s mother, the conversation proceeded as follows:
Nick: We have spoken a bit about this photo [referring to Photograph 5-2], and why you took it. As you say she is your inspiration, she is why you want to study hard and get a good job. Um, are there any other reasons why you took this photograph?
Sikhumbuso: Um. Just a memory of her. Just (.) you know to see my daughter. I mean I love her, so when I see her I take photos, that is if I can. Um, ja that’s the main reason basically. Just a memory. Just seeing a photo inspires me to be better. I’m seeing a bright future here ((pointing to his daughter)) and it all depends on me. I would really hate it if she doesn’t have a good future. (Sikhumbuso, PEI 8, 276) Photograph 5-2. My angel, my inspiration (Sikhumbuso C1)
Sikhumbuso did not position his daughter as needing to be freed like his mother. Although she did not reside with him at that stage, but with her maternal grandmother in another province, Sikhumbuso’s daughter was an inspiration to him (an angel). He also positioned himself as being responsible for her “better future”, even though her representation in Photograph 5-2 was
positive. The photograph captured Sikhumbuso’s daughter smiling with her hands on her hips, dressed in what appeared to be an adorned dress and headband. Unlike the locked gate that Sikhumbuso’s mother could not open herself, Sikhumbuso’s daughter was standing in front of a chest of drawers which I imagined that she was able to open herself.
Although two generations apart, Sikhumbuso’s mother and daughter appeared to unify past and future in his academic achievement pursuits. It was through his exceptionality that he perceived their freedom and future prospects as more certain. For Sikhumbuso, freedom was an important and emotive outcome attached to his exceptional academic achievement. It was immediately recognisable how Sikhumbuso’s vision for his future was linked to an intense emotion. He foresaw freedom for his mother and a bright future for his daughter in relation to his exceptional academic achievement. This prospect and the emotional energy attached to this were likely to be a highly motivational force.
Don’t relax. Don’t forget where you’re coming from, and obviously you have to visualise where you’re going … So, don’t lose that passion. Whatever that drives you, try to go back to that place, and visualise and … (Sikhumbuso, FGD 2, 351)
Instinctively, Sikhumbuso picked up on an awareness of past (“where you’re coming from”) and future (“where you’re going”) when discussing motivational strategies for excelling
academically. During the photo-elicitation interview with Sikhumbuso, he spoke about where he was “coming from.” Here, he referred to two previous employment experiences, which he positioned as motivators of his current academic achievement aspirations. Sikhumbuso reported that, after matriculating, he did not have the funds to study, but managed to secure employment as an actuarial assistant in a financial services company. He reported enjoying this work,
however found it frustrating in that, “What actually happened is that when someone comes from university, I would train that person, and then from there they go above me” (Sikhumbuso, PEI
8, 70). Although there were some other circumstances that also contributed to his resignation from this employment, Sikhumbuso realised that he needed to study in order to progress in the workplace. The transition to university study was, however, not direct or easy for Sikhumbuso.
While waiting to hear if he had been accepted for a place to study and financial aid at UKZN in 2011, he worked as a toilet cleaner at Oliver Tambo Airport (the second employment experience from his past).
So it was really difficult. I used to stay in a shack (.) 2010 and I worked at um (.) um the airport. OR Tambo, I was cleaning toilets. That was in 2010. That was not pleasant, so that also motivated me to do well at school [university]. So ja. It wasn’t easy. So there is a lot. I just take things as they come. So there is a lot. I could sit here and talk and some other things will come out you know. (Sikhumbuso, PEI 8, 585)
In addition to directly linking his unpleasant work experience to his current levels of motivation to do well at university, Sikhumbuso described how physically hard he worked at the airport, and how this has compelled him to achieve academically and progress in his future employment.
So, we had to stand there for 12 hours, it was six to six, and only get a one hour lunch. All that time you had to be standing. Standing. Ja, so eish, my feet were really (.) and if you are not used to it, but after some time, you get used to it. But you feel this is not where you want to be. It’s not where you want to be. And you get paid peanuts. What we were doing there it’s harder than studying. It’s really really (.) in terms of thinking, no, but that’s tiring on your body. It’s really difficult. But then I think that’s also helped me to respect people that are doing that job because I’ve been there now. I know, so I’m not just going to. Now when I go to the public toilet, I make sure that it’s clean, cos now I understand. (Sikhumbuso, PEI 8, 645)