PAGE SEVENTY-FOUR
SPECULUM 1961
YEAR NOTES
FIRST YEAR
The Saints Came Marching In . . . . This year began with most of us wonder- ing how we managed to be here, and after It first few lectures, wishing we weren't.
tt was as though we were scapegoats upon Which the lecturers could unleash their wrath.
Somehow the fear of lecturers has worn ,Off, judging by the way the boys are stimu- tating Eugenie Tuck's sensitive spot, much to Mr. Mather's disgust, causing her to emit bursts of Pleasurable laughter. Talking about sensitive spots, Ted Rafferty seems to have done the trick; he has entered the state of married bliss. We all wish Ted the best Of luck in both his studies and his private research.
Tony Sneezewell seems to be the out- standing sportsman of the year. After win- ning the high jump in University Athletics he travelled to Hobart and took the honours again in the Inter-Varsity sports. Keith Mather also starred this year; he was awarded a gold medal by Polydor for his revival of the old hit tune "Down South".
Keith hopes his latest release, "North To Alaska" receives as much response. We all do.
Dr. Stranks mentions too often for coin- cidence that an Irish scientist by the name (1f Kohlrausch worked in Glasgow. Pos- siblY a good hint for the finals.
We are sorry that Mr. Mather does not aPPreciate the enlightening discussion groups held by the Back-Row-Boys during lectures.
Mr. Boredom is giving serious thought to entering the umbrella industry so that he can sell them to those students who have to sit up the back during Zool. lectures.
Surfers must have done Dr. Stranks a lot
SPECULUM 1961
of good; all his experiments are working.
That's not all, he has magical powers; he only has to pick up a rubber ball, immerse it in air, throw it at the wall, and it shatters.
But as the year's end approaches, we begin to wonder who will be in next year's notes. With our fingers crossed, a little work, and a lot of luck most of us will get through.
Things could be worse, we could be doing Science.
SECOND YEAR
Our first glimpse of the Almighty was in the form of Prof. Russell who assured us that the Anatomy school is the only Uni- versity Department with its own act of Parliament. Red has asked that relations with Physiotherapy students be limited to the dissecting room tables. Closely follow- ing was the suave Leslie John, whose potted tutes on surface anatomy are cherished by all. Others to be seen tripping through the hallowed halls of Anatomy include Dr.
Lavarack whose happy laugh fills the Berry every Wednesday morn. His series of lec- tures, "Seven years in the uterus", are always packed. Dr. Merrillees whisks in and out, while Dr. Kenny rambles through the cerebral peduncles.
Among the guests who motored up from the Biochem. School were Drs. Finch and Stone. The former, resplendent in his astronaut-type crew cut, has become notor- ious for his heavy grogging during lectures.
On a good day he can get through about six beakers (the 400 ml variety). His asso- ciate, Dr. Stone, has proved once and for all that, providing no one particularly wants to take notes, it is quite possible to give a three-hour lecture in 50 minutes.
Pansy's 11.45 siestas are looked forward to by all. Those in the know say we get on to Physiology next term sometime.
PAGE SEVENTY-FIVE
Patsy, of course, still runs the Thursday and Friday Physiol Prac. Clubs, though we believe on good evidence, that several warnings have been made by the vice squad.
The Med.-Physio. football match ended in a dimantenous defeat for the fair ladies of the medical school led by Judy Y. But their male supporters were not without their revenge. Police reported later that several young girls had been criminally tampered with and left distressed outside the V.D.
clinic in Little Lon.
Social function of the year, of course, was the sherry party which claimed fewer victims than usual. Highlight of the floor show was Pansy's vivisection of Peter P.
Heather got John McK. home safely, but unfortunately the engagement of Henry F.
and a certain demonstrator has been broken.
Richard C. has been unanimously elected as "Embryo of the year", no doubt for his childish behaviour in the men's wash room.
Fred (Scron) M. was reported to have been negotiating with Prof. Sunderland (during one of his recent trips to Australia) to introduce bottle nights in the Histol. lab.
So far nothing has eventuated.
Dawn E. has just purchased a brand new International utility and is willing to give free rides to anyone interested.
Alec McG. couldn't wait until 4th year to start obstetrics and is now wallowing in a life of wedded bliss.
John W. has been living in college with some imported night club "entertainer" for the past month. It is understood that un- less he cleans up the mess in his room he will be sent down in 3rd term.
As exams approach we turn our footsteps from the Mayfair and wind our weary way back to the Med. library.
* *
Girls are like newspapers.
They have forms.
They always have the last word.
Back numbers are not in demand.
They have a great deal of influence.
They are well worth looking over.
You can't believe everything they say.
They carry the news wherever they go.
They are much thinner than they used to be.
You have to pay more for a good one.
Everyone should have one of his own and not borrow his neighbor's.
PAGE SEVENTY-SIX
THIRD YEAR
159 students were on the year roll when the 1961 lecture season started. Thirteen faces were missing due to 1960 mishaps;
several more faces were present for the second time due also to similar circum- stances.
The year got underway with the usual introduction to Treth—the Med. school's Jack Little—and perhaps a more sombre introduction to Pharmacology—joke a week subject. However, most people having reached the third year of their course de- cided that the time had arrived to settle down to work from the first day, specially with the big essay hanging over their heads.
Perhaps I should tell you of some of the leading lights of the year.
Did you read the article about umpire P.K. as he was presented to his fans, the youth of Melbourne, in the Young Sun.
Also in the sporting spotlight recently is C.P., who retained his seat in the Mel- bourne crew at the inter-Varsity regatta in the first vacation. Perhaps he will be able to tell us himself why his crew did not bring home the cake.
Hear about the girl who gave the thumbs up sign to the lecturer? Obviously heading for a dismal fate, don't you think?
Another personality of note is I.C., who managed to rig the elections and became the University hockey team's vice-captain for the 1961 season. I see he hasn't been giving himself the usual back pats in his Farrago reports.
Did you realize that G.K. became the first anatomy lecturer for first year Occupa - tional Therapists this year? Don't worry about them, he didn't last very long.
Then there was G.G., who arrived at a Saturday morning lecture in a dinner suit no one believed him but he tried hard.
Must extend congratulations to J.F. on her announcement of her engagement early this year.
No other great romances to report, though several knowing looks are getting passed by one couple in the dissection room.
Did you hear about the ancient footballer , but then Treth would not like any adverse comments about his ability.
Best of luck all in your exams this year and also to those who will take your place.
SPECULUM 1961
PRINCE HENRY'S HOSPITAL FOURTH YEAR
As in previous years, P.H. has once again attracted all the talent (non-academic, this time) .
It is pleasing to note that there has been no card playing, liquor consumption, flirting with nurses (no wonder) or other time- wasting occupations. Boy, what a dead hole!
One of the features of our hospital is the close co-operation between the Clinical Supervisor and the students (ask anyone . . . ask Fedora). On the "sporting" side, was highly successful cricket match against St.
V's. Result: 60 cans (and the P.H .team all non-drinkers!)
The social highlight was a grog-on to suPport Irene, our Miss Med. (how she needs it!) Notable guests included Fedora (last year's Miss Med.), Graeme G. and black friend ("I thought this was going to be a square turn") and Sid!
Noticed lately:
Dan K. has been going grey (with the Work?). Keith T's best friend is his M.U.M.
life, (or is it Fred) B. still leads a double life, and Bill D's not tellin' nobody nothin'.
Fedora T.'s recently done a lot of her Best work while "swingin' Sammy" M. sings soft Calypsos in the basement.
.As this issue goes to press, Elizabeth O's Hillman shows no recent dents.
FIFTH YEAR
With Path and Bugs behind us we entered the new year with the approach of a runner to the last phase of the race — keen in spirit but sadly lacking in energies.
But now Women's and Children's have drifted past and "the sands of time are slowly but surely running out". Incentive previously lacking is slowly beginning to ap- pear.
The past year however revealed the true
characters of several of our number, es- pecially while sojourning at R.W.H.
Ludwig's sole delight seemed to consist of 'Be "banging of membranes", to the ac-
cftpaniment of a calypso rhythm.
Adam's true character in summary con- sisted of — the temper of a hairy ape, the poet's love of Woman, the confidence of
°d Almighty, the hopeless confusion of a
surrealist and above all the one who was Most surprised at misguided conceptions.
SPECULUM 1961
Keay's bongo drums have stopped play- ing at last, to the great delight of some of us, but her appliance has now lost its cord
— she's still searching!
Whilst Brian divided his time between a flat in Parkville and indulging in exercises which placed his body in strange positions.
Practising for some strange purpose?
Henry demonstrated his interest in Bugs by driving a hot-rod! No wonder Cas ad- mitted him with a cracked skull.
Jim must be wealthy or puritanical — fancy refusing a quid to entertain a certain veiled Blok. Whilst Bob seemed to take great delight in giving injections I.M.
Don and Marlene gave us no surprise by announcing their engagement. To you two go our best wishes for the future. Just one question, Don—who was that naked woman in your room?
While still on the topic, Peter P. seems to be Kronically singing "Irene Goodnight"
until he disappeared to buy a ring. Heartiest congrats to both of you.
The spirited side of Shirley was well in evidence especially at that party in the R.M.O's lounge — ask a certain Dr. P.J. if you don't believe us but you'll have a hard job finding him — the shock was so great that he migrated elsewhere.
Jack kept up the joystick of life for many weeks at a time. He certainly had a slip-happy fly. Gaby didn't always like his girls abducted, so why was Matron worried?
Mark proved the adage "a little bull can go a long way". Did you have connections with the signallers in the Nurses' Home?
Mick was certainly well known for his torso — a lean smooth frame well seasoned by exercise — his torso of course!
Whilst still on the subject of rooms — W.R. are the initials of one of our num- ber but we sincerely hope they are not pathognmonic of disease. Nevertheless ac- quisition of a wife seems to have balanced his character somewhat.
Daryl seemed always occupied — we are sure that he did not spend all that time in his room studying. We hear he is a man of stamina for he is now preparing for his second stretch at Women's.
Elizabeth's true form was also revealed at that certain party. She suffered too, nurs- ing an herpetic lesion for some weeks after.
Michael's whereabouts and actions were always a mystery — we're sure he had many close shaves!
PAGE SEVENTY-SEVEN
SEEING IS BELIEVING
Clarity of vision — the fundamental essential for Opthalmoscopes and Otoscopes has been achieved by Keeler of England, through their constant policy of working in close conjuction with leading Opthalmologists and Otorhinologists. As a result the name of Keeler in the field of Diagnostic Instruments has become the criterion of quality. Together with quality of performance, keeler features:
MODERN STYLING
Keeler instruments are most attractively finished in a modern styling.
Instruments that grace a Physician's desk and give pleasure in using.
Here are two 'Popular' members of a wide Keeler range:
"POPULAR" OPHTHALMOSCOPE FEATURES :
• Exceptionally clear, wide angle fundus picture.
• Brilliant clear-cut circle of 'white' light.
• ±
20 D Lens Range.• Ilinminated and magnified lens power Dial.
• Lightweight metal handle with durable polychromatic grey finish.
"POPULAR" OTOSCOPE FEATURES :
• Five Keeler all-nylon specula, sizes 2.5, 3.5, 4.5, 5.5 and 8 mm., unbreakable and boilable.
• Swing-over focusing lens with wide-angle field of view.
• Brilliant homogeneous light.
• Robust and streamlined.
• Lightweight metal handle with grey polychromatic finish to ensure maximum durability.
Diagnostic instruments by