READABILITY, AND STYLE
AN UNDERGRADUATE THESIS
Presented as Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree ofSarjana Sastra
in English Letters
By
RENTO ARI NUGROHO Student Number: 054214053
ENGLISH LETTERS STUDY PROGRAMME DEPARTMENT OF ENGLISH LETTERS
FACULTY OF LETTERS SANATA DHARMA UNIVERSITY
READABILITY AND STYLE
AN UNDERGRADUATE THESIS
Presented as Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree ofSarjana Sastra
in English Letters
By
RENTO ARI NUGROHO Student Number: 054214053
ENGLISH LETTERS STUDY PROGRAMME DEPARTMENT OF ENGLISH LETTERS
FACULTY OF LETTERS SANATA DHARMA UNIVERSITY
Bahasa Indonesia: A Study of Its Accuracy, Acceptability,
Readability and Style
By
Rento Ari Nugroho
Student Number : 054214053
Approved by
Harris H. Setiajid, S. S., M. Hum. January 13, 2011 Advisor
Readability and Style
By
Rento Ari Nugroho
Student Number : 054214053
Defended before the Board of Examiners On January 27, 2011
And Declared Acceptable
BOARD OF EXAMINERS
Name Signature
Chairman : Dr. Fr. B. Alip, M.Pd., M.A. ______________ Secretary : Drs. Hirmawan Wijanarka, M.Hum. ______________ Member : Harris H. Setiajid, S.S., M.Hum. ______________ Member : Anna Fitriati, S.Pd., M.Hum. ______________ Member : Dr. Fr. B. Alip, M.Pd., M.A. ______________
Yogyakarta, January 31, 2011 Faculty of Letters Sanata Dharma University
Nomor Mahasiswa : 054214053
Demi pengembangan ilmu pengetahuan, saya memberikan kepada Perpustakaan Universitas Sanata Dharma karya ilmiah saya yang berjudul:
THE TRANSLATION OF ENGLISH SONG “SHOUT TO THE
LORD” INTO “NYANYI DAN BERSORAKLAH” IN BAHASA
INDONESIA: A STUDY OF ITS ACCURACY,
ACCEPTABILITY, READABILITY, AND STYLE
Beserta perangkat yang diperlukan (bila ada). Dengan demikian saya memberikan kepada Perpustakaan Universitas Sanata Dharma hak untuk menyimpan, mengalihkan dalam bentuk media lain, mengelolanya dalam bentuk pangkalan data, mendistribusikan secara terbatas, dan mempublikasikannya di Internet atau media lain untuk kepentingan akademis tanpa perlu meminta ijin dari saya maupun memberikan royalti kepada saya selama tetap mencantumkan nama saya sebagai penulis.
Demikian pernyataan ini yang saya buat dengan sebenarnya. Dibuat di Yogyakarta
Pada tanggal 31 Januari 2011 Yang menyatakan
never die before your destiny is
accomplished.
Darlene Zschech
Darlene’s longing to God and her worship to Him is clearly heard on her music and songs.
family that fully support me to reach my future: my father, my mother, my two younger brothers, my uncle and aunt who support me to take higher education.
After that, I would like to thanksPak Harris H. Setiajid, S.S., M.Hum., my advisor for his priceless helps, guidance, and advices. His patience to guide me on writing this undergraduate thesis is one of the greatest motivations for me. Also, I would like to thankBuAnna Fitriati S.Pd., M.Hum., my co-advisor for her helpful advices.
And then, I would extend my gratitude to Bu Elisa, Mbak Amie, Greg, Ria, Tri, and her friends at PBSID Sanata Dharma University. All of your contribution on filling my questionnaire helped me so much. Thank you!
My gratitude also for my friends in the cell-community Lion of Judah: Keke, Ephra, Eel, and Alex Yudo. The last, but the best, I’d like to thank my greatest supporter, Deborah Ursulani Bonatiur. All of their supports empower me to work harder. I also would like to appreciate my community, GBI Generasi Apostolik Sangen, Pdp. Ribka SL. Her prayers and advices guide me through my faith-journey. Also,Pak Jarot,Pak Yo, PakWagimin, BuPuji, MbakSiska,Mas Andi,MasFajar, and Yason
PERNYATAAN PERSETUJUAN………..iv
MOTTO PAGE...v
DEDICATION PAGE……….vii
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS……….…...ix
TABLE OF CONTENTS………..x
LIST OF DIAGRAMS, CHARTS, AND TABLES………..…xi
ABSTRACT………...xii
ABSTRAK……….. …...xiii
CHAPTER I: INTRODUCTION ………1
A. Background of the Study………..…1
B. Problem Formulation………..…. 4
C. Objectives of the Study... 4
D. Definition of Terms………... 4
CHAPTER II: THEORETICAL REVIEW ……….. 7
A. Review of Related Studies………... 7
B. Review of Related Theories……….….9
C. Theoretical Framework………..19
D. Research Framework………... 20
CHAPTER III: METHODOLOGY ………. 23
A. Object of the Study………. 23
B. Method of the Study………...… 24
C. Research Procedure……….…...25
CHAPTER IV: ANALYSIS ……….…. 30
A. Translation Quality Assessments
2. Sound Pattern and Rhythm……….69
CHAPTER V: CONCLUSION ……….………73
BIBLIOGRAPHY ……….……... 77
APPENDICES ……….………... 78
Appendix 1: The Original Song and Its Translation...……….……... 80
Appendix 2: The Questionnaire...…... 81
LIST OF DIAGRAMS
Diagram 1: Diagram Research Framework of Translation Quality Assessment on the Accuracy, Acceptability, and Readability of the Translation of Shout to the Lord into “Nyanyi dan
Bersoraklah”……… 22
LIST OF CHARTS Chart 1:Chart on Respondents’ Accuracy……….. 41
Chart 2:Chart on Respondents’ Acceptability……….... 52
Chart 3:Chart on Respondents’ Readability………... 61
Chart 4:Chart on Respondents’ Total Assessment………. 62
LIST OF TABLES Table 1.1:Accuracy score and indicator (in Nababan, 2004: pp. 54-65)………. 14
Table 1.2 :Accuracy score and indicator (in Nababan, 2004: pp. 54-65)………. 31
Table 2.1:The Score and range of the category of accuracy….. 14
Table 2.2:The Score and range of the category of accuracy….. 32
Table 3:The modification of Nababan Accuracy’s indicator into Acceptability indicator……… 42
Table 4:The Score and range of the category of acceptability... 42
Table 5:The modification of Nababan’s Accuracy indicator into readability indicator……. 53
Table 6:The Score and range of the category of readability.…. 54 Table 7:The Musical devices comparison………... 65
English Letters, Faculty of Letters, Sanata Dharma University, 2011.
Song translation is a part of translation material scopes. Although it is nearly not commonly recognized by the public since the common material to translate is printed materials like books, in fact, the concern on song translation exists for a long time. Many famous songs had been translated into Bahasa Indonesia like song “Silent Night” which was translated into Bahasa Indonesia entitled “Malam Kudus”. From the short analysis, the song’s translation in fact has some problems. However, there is no one who has any abjection toward the translation of the song. That phenomenon motivates the researcher to conduct research on the translation of another famous gospel song which is already translated into Bahasa Indonesia: the song entitled “Shout to the Lord” which was translated into “Nyanyi dan Bersoraklah”. Since the research is conducted to know the quality of the translation of the song, the research focuses on accuracy, acceptability, readability and style of the song. The style here does not focus on the entire style exploration of the song but focus on the musical devices, sound pattern and rhythm of the song.
There are two problem formulations on this undergraduate thesis. The first problem formulation of this thesis assesses the accuracy, acceptability, and the readability of the song. The second problem formulation is the evaluation of the musical devices on the original song and the translated song.
The methodology which is used on this research is library and field research which are combined. The library research was done to access the theory on accuracy, acceptability, readability, musical devices, sound pattern, and rhythm. And then, the field research was done to do the data collection. After that, the analysis was conducted to find the quality of the translation work.
Inggris, Fakultas Sastra, Universitas Sanata Dharma, 2011.
Penerjemahan lagu adalah salah satu bagian cakupan bahan terjemahan. Walaupun hampir jarang diakui publik karena bahan umum untuk penerjemahan adalah materi cetak seperti buku. Faktanya, perhatian dalam penerjemahan lagu telah lama ada. Banyak lagu terkenal telah diterjemahkan ke Bahasa Indonesia seperti lagu “Silent Night” yang telah diterjemahkan ke Bahasa Indonesia menjadi berjudul “Malam Kudus”. Dari analisis singkat, kenyataannya penerjemahan lagu itu memiliki beberapa permasalahan. Namun, tidak ada seorangpun yang keberatan dengan penerjemahan lagu tersebut. Fenomena ini memotivasi peneliti untuk meneliti penerjemahan lagu rohani lain yang terkenal yang telah diterjemahkan ke Bahasa Indonesia: lagu berjudul “Shout to the Lord” diterjemahkan menjadi “Nyanyi dan Bersoraklah”. Karena penelitian dilakukan untuk mengetahui kualitas penerjemahan lagu, penelitian berfokus pada akurasi, keberterimaan, keterbacaan, dan corak penulisan lagu. Corak di sini tidak berfokus kepada eksplorasi menyeluruh pada lagu namun berfokus pada peranti musikal, pola bunyi, dan ritme.
Terdapat dua perumusan masalah dalam skripsi ini. Perumusan masalah yang pertama adalah menilai akurasi, keberterimaan, dan keterbacaan lagu. Perumusan masalah yang kedua adalah evaluasi peranti musikal pada lagu asli dan lagu terjemahan.
Metodologi yang digunakan dalam penelitian ini adalah studi pustaka dan lapangan yang dikombinasikan. Studi pustaka dilakukan untuk mengakses teori akurasi, keberterimaan, keterbacaan, dan peranti musical. Kemudian, studi lapangan dilakukan untuk mengumpulkan data. Lebih lanjut, analisis dilakukan untuk menilai kualitas karya terjemahan.
A. Background of the Study
Song translation is a part of translation material scopes. Although it is not commonly recognized by the public since the common material to translate is printed materials such as books, in fact, the concern on song translation exists for a long time, for example “Silent Night” which is translated into “Malam Kudus” in Bahasa Indonesia. Those songs, either original song or translated song are really famous in Indonesia. When Christmas comes, those songs are broadcasted widely through various media. As the result, public becomes familiar to those songs.
Since the song is really famous, the problem arises: does the public really concern on the translation of the song? If the song is analyzed:
Silent night, holy night All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child Holy infant so tender and mild Sleep in heavenly peace Ayah bunda mesra dan kudus; Anak tidur tenang
Anak tidur tenang
It is clear that the song is not translated accurately. On the first line on the translated song, the order of the phrases is reversed while the word “night” on the second place is deleted. On the second line, the word “all” is translated into “dunia” whereas the words “calm” and “bright” are translated into one word “terlelap.” On the third line, “Round yon Virgin Mother and Child” is translated into “Hanya dua berjaga terus.” On the fourth line, “Holy infant so tender and mild” is translated into “Ayah bunda mesra dan kudus.” And then, on the line 5 and 6, “Sleep in heavenly peace” is translated into “Anak tidur tenang.”
From the brief analysis above, it can be concluded that the translated song misses so many meanings and words. Considering that it is a gospel or religious song, the enormous sum of the loss meaning is needed to be questioned. What is abnormal here is the respond of the public to the “problem” on the translation process does not appear. There is no significant protest toward the translation of the song, although the translated song is not exactly the same like the original song, the public accept it without any objection. It becomes the biggest curiosity to write the thesis: how is the quality of the song translation in Indonesia?
becomes one of the most successful translated songs. Moreover, the song is the newest contemporary gospel song which is the most popular in the modern era. The translated song entitled “Nyanyi dan Bersoraklah” is sung by many singers and recorded into many albums in Indonesia.
The song “Shout to the Lord” came from an English speaking country which is close to Indonesia—Australia. The songwriter is a famous worship leader and gospel singer Darlene Zscech from Hillsong Church. As the song is very popular:
Saya semula diminta untuk menulis buku ini karena ada begitu banyak orang ingin mengetahui bagaimana “Shout to the Lord”, sebuah lagu yang ditulis oleh seorang wanita Australia, dapat menjadi lagu penyembahan favorit di seluruh penjuru dunia. (Zscech: 2003: 14, Bahasa Indonesia version)
At the first place I was asked to write this book since there are so many people wanted to know how “Shout to the Lord,” a song written by an Australian woman becomes the most favourite worship song around the globe. (Zscech: 2003: 14, translated)
the song is very popular so that many people amazed and the will to find out further about the song appeared.
the famous song and its translation. Whether “something” is good translation or bad translation, the research will find it out.
B. Problem Formulation
There are two problems formulated in this research, namely:
1. How are the accuracy, readability, and acceptability of the translated song? 2. How is the style in the term of musical devices, sound pattern and rhythm of
the source language song compared to the translated song?
C. Objectives of the Study
By the problems formulated above, the objective of this study is to identify the quality of the translation work on its accuracy, readability, and acceptability. Also, the style on the musical devices, sound pattern, and rhythm of the original and translated work will be analyzed to identify whether they have some changes or not. The changes are very important to identify since the song has some distinctive characteristics that differs it with a poem. Also, the changes are assumed to affect the way the song is performed.
D. Definition of Terms
The terms used in the research are:
AccuracyAccording to Nababan (2004:61) the accuracy of the translation is related to how far the content of the source text can be delivered correctly into the target language.
Acceptability It is also mentioned as the commonness, or it is a term which is considered common and genuine inside a particular community. It means, a terminology or idiom is considered common in a community, but for the other communities that terminology or idiom is considered as uncommon. Since its characters are really relative, the examination of the acceptability of a translated text is conducted by requesting the members of certain community to appraise that translation work; whether it is considered as common or uncommon in their community. For example, to examine the acceptability of the translation work of the medical text, thus, the person who is requested to appraise is the doctor community, not the lawyer (Setiajid: 2007: 8)
ReadabilityElkins revealed that
“Readibility is simply how easy a piece is to comprehend. This is the single most important characteristics of your manuscript (2001: 1)”
from the statement above, the readability is about a comprehension of a text, to understanding easily a translated text in the target language context.
Style Peter Verdonk, on his book, Stylistics defines style in language as the analysis of distinctive expression in language and the description of its purpose and effect. (Verdonk 2002: 4)
way that is pleasant or exciting. And then, the definition of musical is connected with music or consisting of music. Whereas, the definition of device is a special way of doing something that makes it easier to do. Therefore, the definition of musical devices is a special way of doing the arrangement of sounds.
A. Review of Related Studies
Discussing the translation quality assessment of the Indonesian translation of Umberto Eco’s The Name of the Rose which is translated by Ani Suparyati and published by Jalasutra in Yogyakarta, Harris H. Setiajid (2007) focuses his assessment on accuracy, readability and acceptability of the translation of the Christian terms in the novel. He finds two phenomena in this study that in the target text appears translation which is accurate but unaccepted by the reader; and also translation which is inaccurate but also unaccepted by the reader.
Diah Puspitaratri, in her undergraduate thesis, Translation Quality Assessment: A Study on the Accuracy, Naturalness and Acceptability of the Translation of Leo Tolsoy’s “After the Dance” into Bahasa Indonesia “Setelah
Pesta Dansa” by Anton Kurnia (2010), analyzes the accuracy, naturalness, and acceptability of the translation work
inaccurate but natural; it indicates that the reader has the possibility to accept a translation work which is inaccurate as long as it fulfills the naturalness of the translation.
Peter Verdonk (2002: 57-65) in his book entitled “Stylistics” gives an example of interpreting of a complete poem. He interprets the poem entitled ‘“Clearances”: In memoriam M. K. H., 1911-1984’. At the first place, he reveals the person or the characters in the poem and finds the relationship among the characters. He tries to identify the characters in the poem and relate them with the real person in the author’s life. After that he moves to the relationship between the linguistics texture of the poem and the information that there are real persons who are in the poem can substantiate and extend the impression. He also discussed the musical devices of the poem that help the interpretation of the poem.
Furthermore, the research is different from what is done by Diah Puspitaratri. While Diah discusses a novel, the writer will discuss a song which is considered as a poem. Related with what Peter Verdonk discussed on his book, the differences with what the writer will do is on the stylistics discussion of the poem. While Verdonk discusses almost all aspect of style, the writer will only discuss the musical devices that somehow lay on the repetition of some aspects on the work like the rime, alliteration, assonance, and consonance.
B. Review of Related Theories 1. Definition of Translation
According to Nida and Taber in The Theory and Practice of Translation, translating consists of reproducing in the receptor language the closest natural equivalence of the source language message, first in terms of meaning and secondly in terms of style. Therefore, a translation is a reproduction of the message of the Source Text toward Target Text. Beside that in the translation process, the priority is the meaning in the first place and the style in the second place.
Target Text by replacing the content in the source language with the same content in the target language.
2. Definition of A Good Translation
In the translation process, it is not only the meaning which is needed to be kept, there are more than that. As A. F. Lord Woodhouselee Tytler who is quoted by Roger T. Bell inTranslation and Translating: Theory and Practicestates:
that in which the merit of the original work is so completely transfused into another language, as to be as distinctly apprehended, and as strongly felt, by a native of the country to which that language belongs, as it is by those who speak the language of the original works (1991: 11).
It can be concluded that a good translation should deliver the content like the original text. By doing so, the understanding between the Target Text readers is the same like the Source Text readers. Besides, he introduces three laws of translation:
i. That the translation should give a complete transcript of the ideas of the original work.
ii. That the style and manner of writing should be of the same character with that of the original
iii. That the translation should have all the ease of original composition. (Tytler in Bell, 1991: 11)
translation. Also, the original composition should be kept, that means a translation work should have the same composition as the translated work.
3. Accuracy
According to Newmark in his book A Textbook of Translation states that to assess the translation work, the aspect that should be assessed is the accuracy on the pragmatic and referential. The accuracy on the pragmatics means that the translated work should be able to communicate nicely the content from the original text to translated text. Therefore, the accuracy on the referential is that the translated text is accurate and does not have any mistakes. (Newmark 1988: 188)
Alan Duff as quoted by Harris Setiajid on his workbook on Translation 1 states that the translation should reflect accurately the meaning of the original text. Further he explains that nothing should be arbitrarily added or removed, though sometimes part of the meaning can be transposed. (Duff 1989)
He proposed following questions to help the assessment of accuracy of the translation work:
a. Is the meaning of the original text clear? If not, where does the uncertainty lie? b. Are any words loaded, that is, are there any underlying implications?
4. Acceptability
About the acceptability, Setiajid states that the acceptability can be named as prevalence, thus, a certain idiom or terminology can be considered as prevalence and common in the certain community. It means, an idiom or terminology can be considered as common in certain community but can be considered as unnatural in the other communities. Since its characteristics which are relative, the assessment on the acceptability of a translation work can be conducted by asking the members of certain community to asses a certain translation work whether it can be considered as common or uncommon in their community. For example, to assess the acceptability of medical text, the community which is asked to assess is the community of physician, not the community of the lawyer. (Setiajid 2007: 8)
5. Readability
Some translation experts define readability as following. Bell proposed: Translation is the expression in another language, preserving semantic and stylistics equivalences. (Bell 1991: 5)
Here, Bell states that the equivalences on the semantic and stylistics is the concern on the readability.
Whereas Sakri states that
Keterbacaan adalah derajad kemudahan oleh sebuah teks untuk dipahami maksudnya. (Sakri 1994: 165)
On the statement above, readability means the order of facility for the reader in the target language to understand the purpose of the original work.
Also, Elkins states that
Readability is simply how easy a piece is to comprehend. This is the single most important characteristic of your manuscript. (Elkins 2001: 1)
According to Elkins, readability is how easy the reader will understand the translation work. Also, it is the most important thing on the translation work which is translated by the translator.
From the three statements above, readability can be concluded as the naturalness of the translated work, the easiness of the translated work to be read in the target language, and how easy a translated work can be understood.
6. Translation Quality Assessment
According to Peter Newmark (1988: 186), a comprehensive criticism of a translation has to cover 5 topics: (1) a brief analysis of the source language text stressing its intention and its functional aspects; (2) the translator’s interpretation of source language text’s purpose, his translation method and the translation’s likely readership; (3) a selective but representative detailed comparison of the translation with the original; (4) an evaluation of the translation— (a) in the translator’s terms, (b) in the critic’s terms; (5) where appropriate, an assessment of the likely place of the translation in the target language culture or discipline.
Score Accuracy Indicator
1 The content of the ST is conveyed accurately to the TT. The sentences can be understood clearly. Rewriting is not needed.
2 The content of the ST is conveyed accurately to the TT. The sentences can be understood clearly, but a little restructuring and rewriting are needed.
3 The content of the ST is not conveyed accurately to the TT. Some problems related with diction, phrases, clauses, and other sentence elements. Some restructuring and rewriting are needed.
4 Some ST sentences are not translated into TT. Deliberately omitted. The TT content is different from ST.
Table 1.1. Accuracy score and indicator (in Nababan, 2004: pp. 54-65)
Besides, he also asses the translation quality assessment with the second instrument that is readability-rating instrument, He divided this instrument into 2 categories those are open and closed with the scale 1-4, which are: 1 (very readable), 2 (readable), 3 (less-readable), 4 (unreadable). The categories in range:
Score Range Category
1 1,00-1,50 Accurate
2 1,51-2,50 Quite accurate
3 2,51-3,50 Not accurate
4 3,51-4,00 Inaccurate
Table 2.1 The score and range of the category of accuracy
7. Translating A Song as A Poem
Songs have close relationship with the poems. Sometimes song is said as the singing poem. The relationship appears as the poem that becomes a song or vice versa:
Many familiar poems began life as songs, but today, their tunes forgotten, they survive only in poetry anthologies. Shakespeare studded his plays with songs, and many of his contemporaries wrote verses to fit existing tunes. Some poets were themselves musicians (like Thomas Campion), and composed both words and music. (Kennedy 1999: 792)
From the statement above, it is clear that song has some differences compared with the poems. When the song lost its tunes, it could become a poem. But, when a poem is filled with some tunes, it could be a song like what Shakespeare did.
However, X. J. Kennedy and Dana Gioia in the book entitled Literature: An Introduction to Fiction, Poetry, and Dramastates that:
In analysing song lyrics as poetry, it is important to separate the words temporarily from their music…
…A song is no less powerful as song just because the words don’t stand on their own as poetry. A song is meant to be sung—transposing song lyrics onto the page changes their function. This exercise helps you understand lyrics as poetry, but do not scrutinize them unfairly relative to their original purpose. (Kennedy and Gioia, 1999: 806-807)
poetry’s method, the song should be returned to its purpose and treated as a real song. For example, it needs to fulfill the metrical pattern of a song.
About the poems translation, Chan Wei Sin (2000:109) in her articleForm and Spirit in Poetry Translationstated:
It is imperative to realize that as far as poetry translation is concerned, form cannot be reproduced. But how about spirit? What do we mean by spiritual resemblance? And if spiritual resemblance can be achieved, how should we achieve it? The answers to these questions are hard to come by. But we can certainly achieve some degree of spiritual resemblance by paying attention to the reproduction of ideas rather than form. We must observe the way the ideas have been expressed and how they can be idiomatically and stylistically rendered in the target text.
It is stated that the author wanted to say that it is quite difficult to transfer the spirit of an art work like poetry. A way to deal with it is by concerning on the ideas of the art work. Then, after understanding the ideas, it can be expressed on the target language.
From that closeness, and the limitation of the sources on the song translation subjects, the process of translating poems nearly can be used to analyze the songs translation. Therefore; these reviews have some reviews on the poem, or poetic translation. About the poetic translation:
In poetic translation, more weight is put on the artistic and subjective side. Transcreation, transformation and transposition, therefore, form a significant role in it. The consequence of it is that not only the semantic information of the original poem is conveyed but also its aesthetic information including the shape, the construction and the aesthetic state of it. (Chan 2003: 4)
sense of the creativity of the translator is absolutely needed. Aesthetic points are dominantly used here.
As a part of the analysis on style on the translating of a poem, Burton Raffel states in his articleTranslating Medieval European Poetry,
…The translator of medieval poetry must try to think, and then to write, like the poet he is translating, and not like any other poet... (1989: 28)
the statement above fulfill the statement by peter Verdonk that defines style in language as distinctive linguistics expression. Here, the translation work on poetry should be distinctive like the original work. The distinctive point here is based on the poet or song writer mind.
Simpson’s statement in his bookStylistics a Resource Book for Students:
Stylistics is a method of textual interpretation in which primacy of place is assigned to language. The reason why language is so important to stylistics is because the various forms, patterns, and levels that constitute linguistic structure are an important index of the function of the text. The text’s functional significance as discourse acts in turn as a gateway to its interpretation. (Simpson 2004: 2)
8. The Theories on Musical Devices, Sound and Rhythm
Laurence Perrine (1999: 716-719) on his book entitled Sound and Sense proposed some aspects on musical devices
1) Alliteration
Alliteration is the repetition of initial consonants sounds 2) Assonance
Assonance is the repetition of vowel sounds. 3) Consonance
Consonance is the repetition of final consonant sounds. 4) Rime
Rime is the repetition of the accented vowel sound and all succeeding sounds. There are some types of rime:
a. Masculine is a rime in which the rime sounds involve only one syllable. b. Feminine a rime in which the rhyme sounds involve two or more syllables. c. Internal rhyme is a rime when one or both riming words are within the line. d. End rhyme is a rime when both riming words are at the ends of lines.
Furthermore, about sound and rhythm in the poem, Paul Simpson (2004: 113) suggested some ways to explore the sound and rhythm of the poem:
…Does the poem contain any significant features of sound symbolism like onomatopoeia? If so what, what is the function of these devices in the poem?
From the statement above, it can be concluded that to discuss the sound and rhythm, at the first place the researcher needs to identify the sound patterning of the poem, or we need to find whether it is written infree verseor not. And then, the researcher needs to find whether the poem has onomatopoeia or not. If onomatopoeia is found, the researcher should find their function in the poem.
About the free verse, Richard Bradford in his book entitled Stylistics defines free verse as a verse which is only free in the sense that it does not conform to traditional patterns of metre and rime (Bradford 1997: 21-22). He divides free verses into three categories:
i) Poetry which continues and extends the least restrictive elements of traditional poetry, particularly those of the ode and blank verse.
ii) Poems in which the line structure reflects the apparent spontaneity of ordinary speech.
iii) Poems in which the unmetrical line variously obstructs, deviates from our interferes with the movements of syntax.
What is meant by the movement of syntax is the continuities of grammar (Bradford 1997: 23).
C. Theoretical Framework
definition of good translation and the laws on how to make a good translation from Tytler were needed as the foundation of understanding to discuss the topic.
The five topics on comprehensive criticism of a translation give the consideration on how the translation works should be criticized while Nababan proposed his rating indicator to validate the data of the translation quality assessment. The indicator proposed by Nababan will be modified to assess the acceptability and readability.
Kennedy’s statement gives strong foundation that a song can be treated as a poem and followed by the using the poem’s theory on translation proposed by Chan Sin Wei. Sin Wei also underlines the importance of the spirit in the poem’s translation and its artistic also subjective side of the work.
Simpson’s definition about stylistics will be an important part to support stylistics analysis of the song, especially on the musical devices. The theories of musical devices from Perrine will help to analyze the musical devices on the poem. While Verdonk gives an example on how to interpret a poem, Simpson gives some aspects that help to interpret the song through the sound patterning and rhythm.
D. Research Framework
Respondents
Source Text Target Text
Style (Musical Devices)
Respondents Backgroundof the respondents
Changed or Unchanged
Readability or Unreadability / Acceptability or Unacceptability Accuracy
or Inaccuracy
A. Object of the Study
The object of the study is an English song entitled “Shout to the Lord” which was translated into Bahasa Indonesia entitled “Nyanyi dan Bersoraklah”. The songwriter of the source text song is Darlene Zscech, a woman who is also a worship leader for Hillsong Church Australia. About the popularity of the original song:
Karena lagu tersebut dikeluarkan tahun 1993, lagu ini sudah direkam di lebih dari lima puluh album dan diterjemahkan ke dalam banyak bahasa, termasuk Hongaria, Denmark, Prancis, Italia, Mandarin, Jepang, Indonesia, dan Swedia. Lagu ini sudah dinyanyikan di kebaktian gereja, konvensi, konser, pernikahan, dan bahkan pemakaman. Ketika pertama kali dikeluarkan, ini adalah lagu yang pergerakannya paling cepat dalam sejarah Christian Copyright License (CCLI), yang mewakili popularitas dari semua lagu yang dinyanyikan di gereja-gereja. Lagu ini dinyanyikan di tempat-tempat yang menakjubkan, seperti Vatikan dan Gedung Putih. Evander Holyfield disiarkan secara global sedang menyanyikan “Shout to the Lord” di ruang ganti pakaiannya tepat sebelum pertandingan kejuaraan dunia melawan Mike Tyson pada tahun 1997. (Zschech 2003: 14-15)
The song is very popular so that it can go through the various denominations of the Christianity, and even the Catholic Church as the main stream of the Christianity in the world. It shows that the song has values which are well accepted by the people especially the Christians. And about the Bahasa Indonesia version, according to the Google searching, it has been sung by various Indonesian Gospel song singers like Letjie Sampingan, Welyar Kauntu, and many more. Moreover, the song is sung in various events in Indonesia like the churches’ services, KKR (Kebaktian Kebangunan Rohani—Revival Meeting), prayer meeting and many more. These evidences prove that the song has been responded positively so that its process is interesting to be revealed. Unfortunately, the translator of the song is unknown.
B. Method of the Study
It is interesting to apply the approaches which are often used to conduct the research on poetry. The poetic translation was used to conduct the research since the song is closely related with the poem.
church-goers, the church singers, and the member of the congregations who are less active to go to the church. The steps above were conducted in the field; therefore the steps are the field researches. In this step, the indicator proposed by Nababan was not only used to assess the accuracy, but also to assess the acceptability, and readability after the indicators were modified by the researcher.
After the accuracy, acceptability, and readability on the translation quality assessment was conducted, the research moved to the stylistics analyses. Since the material to discuss is a song, the stylistics analysis only focused on the musical devices and sound patterning. The researcher analyzed the musical devices and sound patterning on the original song and compared them to the translated song.
The last step was concluding the analysis to answer the problem formulation. The conclusion was the summary of all result from the analysis to answer the problem formulations.
C. Research Procedure 1. Kinds of data
The data in this research were divided into: a. Objective Data
whereas the translated song was obtained from an official website of Indonesian Gospel song: http://gema.sabda.org/nyanyi_dan_bersoraklah_terjemahan_shout _to the _lord.
b. Affective Data
Affective data were obtained from a survey research.The survey research in this study was done in order to guarantee the data validity. There were nine
respondents who assessed the data. They were a linguistics expert, a literary expert,
and a professional translator to assess the accuracy of the translation. Three members
of the congregation: a singer, an active member of the congregation, and a less-active
member of the congregation. They were asked to assess the acceptability of the
translated song. Also, three users of Bahasa Indonesia: A Christian Charismatic
believer, A Catholic, and a non-Christian to assess the readability of the translated
song. Those respondents were chosen in order to assess the data and guarantee their
validity as they were not assessed by the writer. Therefore, the data was valid to be
further analyzed.
2. Triangulation
To guarantee that the data which were collected to be valid, triangulation technique was applied. According to Metodologi Penelitian Kualitatif: Dasar Teori dan Terapannya dalam Penelitianproposed by Sutopo, There are four kinds of triangulation; those are methodological triangulation, data source triangulation, investigator triangulation, and theoretical triangulation (Sutopo, 2002: 80).
qualitative data. After that, the researcher compared the findings. The fact that data analyzed by different respondents produce different results, thus later, the researcher tried to understand the reasons for the differences. Consistency in overall patterns of data from different analysts can contribute significantly to the overall credibility of findings. The following anagram will explain the application of source triangulation.
Respondent 1
Raw dataQuestionnaire Respondent 2 Data
Respondent 3
It was done by distributing the questionnaire to nine respondents. The first three respondents are the experts in English: a professional translator, a linguistics expert, and a literary expert. They were asked to assess the data on accuracy. And then, the next three respondents are Christians (the possible users of the data): A singer (worship leader), an active member of the congregation, and less-active member of the congregation. They were asked to assess the data on acceptability. The last three respondents are the users of Bahasa Indonesia: PBSID students. Finally, after the questionnaire was collected, the next steps were to process the findings.
3. Data Collection
collected some data about stylistics in order to analyze the style in the original and the translated work. About the questionnaire, the researcher gave a questionnaire to each respondent; based on what translation quality assessment they belong.
4. Data Analysis
Several processes were needed to conduct the research. In the first place, the translation quality assessment on the accuracy, acceptability, and readability was conducted based on the Nababan’s indicator. Each line of the song’s lyrics was listed in the questionnaire and given score 1-4 to assess the grade of the translation quality. After that, each item was given notes as suggestion on a better translation. Lastly, the assessed data’s score was accumulated in order to get the final score of the data’s accuracy, acceptability, and readability.
The analysis chapter is divided into two main parts. The first part will discuss the translation quality assessment on the accuracy, acceptability, and readability of the song. After that the research will move into second part which is the discussion on the style of the original song and the translated song.
The first part mainly discusses the translation accuracy, acceptability, and readability found in the TT, so called the data, assessed by nine respondents based on accuracy indicator and category proposed by M.R. Nababan, and acceptability also readability which are modified to fix the indicator by M.R. Nababan in order to score their accuracy, acceptability, and readability.
The second part will discuss the style of the original and the translated works. At the first, the researcher will analyze the style in the original song to identify some distinctive features which will be identified in the translated song; whether they are changed or not.
A. The Translation Quality Assessments 1. Accuracy
There are four options to determine the accuracy in the song. The score 1 indicates an accurate translation which is clear for the respondents and rewriting is not needed. Score 2 means the translation is accurate but rewriting and restructuring of the words are needed. Score 3 indicates that the translation is not accurate; there are some problems related to the diction and the sentence elements. Whereas score 4 states that the translation is totally differed from the source text; some elements are skipped or deleted.
To guarantee the data validity, the questionnaires are given to three respondents: a Linguistics expert, a Literary expert, and a professional translator. By conducting that, it is expected that the data on accuracy to be objective.
The step after collecting data from the respondents is calculating the data. The sum from the score given by the respondents is divided by the number of the respondents to find the average score. For example, if the score is 1, 2, and 2 then the average is (1+2+2):3=1, 6.
The indicator is:
Score Accuracy Indicator
1 The content of the ST is conveyed accurately to the TT. The sentences can be understood clearly. Rewriting is not needed
2 The content of the ST is conveyed accurately to the TT. The sentences can be understood clearly, but a little restructuring and rewriting are needed.
3 The content of the ST is not conveyed accurately to the TT. Some problems related with diction, phrases, clauses, and other sentence elements. Some restructuring and rewriting are needed.
4 Some ST sentences are not translated into TT. Deliberately omitted. The TT content is different from ST.
The scoring for the data is:
Score Range Category
1 1,00-1,50 Accurate
2 1,51-2,50 Quite accurate
3 2,51-3,50 Not accurate
4 3,51-4,00 Inaccurate
Table 2.2. The score and range of the accuracy category of accuracy
The followings are the accuracy score of each item that had been calculated and the accuracy category of each item. The respondents are a linguistics expert, a literary expert, and a professional translator. From the research it is known that the translation work is given score 2.1. The three respondents give average score 2.1, 1.9, and 2.4.
The result of the research shows that the accuracy in the translation of the song Shout to the Lord into Nyanyi dan Bersoraklah is 2.1. From total 16 data, there are 2 data that are accurate, 8 data which are assessed as quite accurate but have significance error, and 5 data which are assessed as not accurate.
1 DZ/Title Shout to the Lord
AN/Judul Nyanyi dan Bersoraklah
Score: 2.7
Word “Lord” is not translated whereas the translated song gets “nyanyi” which does not exist in the source text. It is so terrible that the purpose in which the song is written is not translated. The song is a worship song, meaning that the song is intended to worship the Lord or God. It is important to put the addressee of the song as the translation here is the title. The source text “Shout to the Lord” is suggested in Bahasa Indonesia to be: “Bersoraklah bagi Tuhan!”
2 DZ/L1 My Jesus, my Savior
AN/B1 Yesusku, Penyelamatku
Score: 1
The three respondents give score 1 for this datum that means there is no problem on it. The datum is translated properly.
3 DZ/L2 Lord, there is none like You
AN/B2 Tiada yang s'perti Engkau
Score: 1.7
4 DZ/L3 All of my days, I want to praise
AN/B3 Setiap hari ku memuji
Score: 3
All respondents give score 3 for the datum AN/B3 (AN: Anonim (Bahasa Indonesia) or Anonymous in English) because it has some significant errors. The first is the translation of “all of my days” into “setiap hari”. The English for “setiap hari” is “every day”, not “all of my days”. The correct translation for “All of my days” is “seumur hidupku” or “sepanjang hidupku”. Moreover, the sentence “I want to praise” is just translated into “ku memuji” which lost the word “want” which means “ingin” in Bahasa Indonesia. Therefore, the respondents give score 3 that means no accurate. The suggestion is: “Seumur hidupku, ku ingin memuji”
5 DZ/L4 The wonders of Your mighty love
AN/B4 Keajaiban kasihMu
Score: 2.3
into singular form: “Keajaiban kasihMu yang besar”, with the consideration that the translated work should fulfil the metre pattern. If the datum is translated completely, it will be more difficult to fill the metre pattern.
6 DZ/L5 My Comfort, my Shelter
AN/B5 Penghibur, Pelindung
Score: 2
The translation of the datum AN/B5 is considered as quite accurate by the respondents because it changes the sense of the word. The word “Comfort” which is translated into “Penghibur” is at a glance is accurate but lost the sense of the goodness of God. One of the respondents notes that the translation of “comfort” into “Penghibur” has the same effect that is “less unhappy” and the term “shelter” is seen as the place of comfort. In fact, since the author of the song states that she is inspired by the Book of Psalm on writing the song, the word “penghibur” and “pelindung” exist in the Bible in Bahasa Indonesia. The problem is the sense of the translation. There is nothing wrong with the word “pelindung”. The problem is on the word “Penghibur”. The word “Penghibur” has tendency to be negative in Bahasa Indonesia.
7 DZ/L6 Tower of refuge and strength
AN/B6 Menara kekuatan
Score: 3
The respondents asses that the datum AN/B6 is not accurate because it didn’t translate the word “refuge” into target language. The suggestion for the translation of the data is “Menara perlindungan dan kekuatan”
8 DZ/L7 Let every breath, all that I am
AN/B7 Biarlah semua yang bernafas
Score: 3
When one of the three respondents notes that the translation of the datum AN/B7 is too general, it is clear that the translation is not accurate. Therefore, the respondents give average score 3. The translator of the song refers to the Psalm 150: 6 “Let every thing that hath breath praise the LORD” (King James Version). The truth is, since the song is the personal relationship with God, it should refer to the personal, not general. The data should be translated like: “Biarlah setiap nafas, yang aku punya”
9 DZ/L8 Never cease to worship You
AN/B8 Tak berhenti menyembahMu
Score: 1
10 DZ/L9 Shout to the Lord, all the earth let us sing AN/B9 Nyanyi dan bersoraklah bagi Dia Score: 2.7
The datum AN/B9 contains a phrase from the title, “Shout to the Lord”. However, the translation is considered as not accurate by the respondents as they give score 2.7. If the analysis is conducted, the inconsistency of the translator of the song will be revealed. At the beginning s/he translated the title “Shout to the Lord” into “Nyanyi dan Bersoraklah”. The inconsistency is, in this data s/he translated the phrase “Shout to the Lord” into “Nyanyi dan bersoraklah bagi Dia”. Moreover, what makes the respondents asses the data as not accurate is that the sentence “All the earth let us sing” is not translated. The suggestion for this translation is: “Bersoraklah bagi Tuhan, s’luruh bumi nyanyilah!”
11 DZ/L10 Power and majesty, praise to the King AN/B10 Pujian hormat kuasa bagi Raja Score: 2
12 DZ/L11 Mountains bow down and the seas will roar
AN/B11 Gunung tunduk laut bergelora
Score: 2
The datum AN/B11 is given score 2 (quite accurate) by the respondents. However, one of the respondent comments that the word “roar” should be translated into “bergemuruh”, not “bergelora”. Therefore, the suggestion for this translation is: Gunung tunduk dan laut ‘kan bergemuruh”
13 DZ/L12 At the sound of Your name
AN/B12 Mendengar namaMu
Score: 1.3
14 DZ/L13 I sing for joy at the work of Your hands
AN/B13 Ku bersuka atas perbuatanMu
Score: 2.3
Datum AN/L14 is considered as not accurate because it has some loss: the phrase “sing for joy” is only translated into “bersuka”. In fact, if “sing for joy” get appropriate translation, it should be: menyanyi (karena) sukacita. Moreover, the word “hands” is not translated. One of the three respondents gives comment that the word “Your hands” is better to be translated into “KaryaMu” instead of “PerbuatanMu”, whereas the phrase “sing for joy” is better to be translated into “berkidung/ bermazmur karena sukacita”. However, the researcher’s suggestion of this datum’s translation is: “Ku bermazmur karena karyaMu”
15 DZ/L14 Forever I'll love You, forever I'll stand AN/B14 S'lamanya ku kasihi Engkau Tuhan Score: 2.3
16 DZ/L15 Nothing compares to the promise I have in You AN/B15 Tiada janji s'perti yang ada padaMu Score: 1.7
The datum AN/B15 is given score 1.7 by the respondents that means the translation of the datum is quite accurate. One of the reasons why the respondents asses the datum as quite accurate is that the translation of the phrase “promise I have in You” into “yang ada padaMu”. The suggestion for the translation of the datum is “Tiada bandingnya, janji yang ku punya dalamMu”
From accuracy score of each item, then it can be calculated that the accuracies score of the Indonesian version of Shout to the Lord:
ΣX M= N
M= mean (the average point), X= total number of accuracy scores, N= total number of the data
34 M= 16
M= 2.13 (quite accurate)
In percentage it would be Σ= M (mean) x 100%
4 Σ= 2.13 x 100%
Thus, the accuracies score of the Indonesian version of Shout to the Lord is 2.13 that means quite accurate or in percentage it is 53.25%.
In chart, the accuracy will be: Chart 1:
of the congregation (church goers), and a less-active member of the congregation, they are given a questionnaire on the acceptability of the song.
The indicator used to create the questionnaire is based on the M.R. Nababan’s indicator which is modified to assess the acceptability.
Score Indicator
1 The translation work is very natural and proper, and usually used to sing the song.
2 The translation work is little bit clumsy and little bit improper. 3 The translation work is clumsy and improper.
4 The translation work is very clumsy and sound glib. There are some parts which are not translated.
Table 3. The modification of Nababan Accuracy’s indicator into Acceptability indicator
The grade of the scoring and the range is:
Score Range Category
1 1,00-1,50 Acceptable
2 1,51-2,50 Quite acceptable
3 2,51-3,50 Not acceptable
4 3,51-4,00 Unacceptable
Table 4. The score and range of the acceptability category of acceptability Here are the result and the analysis.
1 AN/Judul Nyanyi dan Bersoraklah Score: 2.0
Datum AN/Judul is given score 2.0 by the respondents that means the translated song is quite acceptable. It is interesting to discuss the score given by the respondents. The first respondent who is a worship leader gives score 2 (quite acceptable), the second respondent who is an active member of the congregation give score 3 (not acceptable), and the third respondent who is a less-active member of the congregation give score 1 which is acceptable. The various ranges of the score given by the respondents are suspected based on the background of the respondents.
For a worship leader whose job in the church is leading the members of the congregation to worship God, the knowledge of the Christianity terminology is expected to be excellent or at least s/he has more knowledge of the Christianity than the common members of the congregation. On the other side, the active member of the congregation is expected to have more knowledge on the Christianity terminologies than the less-active member of the congregation. Their knowledge of the Christianity is expected to determine the acceptability level of the translated song.
member of the congregation is more than the worship leader. The next analysis is expected to strengthen that statement.
2 AN/B1 Yesusku, Penyelamatku
Score: 1.7
The data collection shows that the first and the third respondent give score 1 whereas the second respondent give score 3. The gap between the scores given is interesting to be analyzed. Here, the possibility why the second respondent give score 3 is located on the background of the respondents. The second respondent comes from traditional church whereas the common terminology used is “Juru Selamat” than “Penyelamat”. But, overall, the data is given score 1.7 that means the translation work is quite acceptable.
3 AN/B2 Tiada yang s'perti Engkau
Score: 2
then, the song should not to question the fact that God is the centre of everything, incomparable.
4 AN/B3 Setiap hari ku memuji
Score: 1.3
On this datum, only the first respondent gives score 2, whereas the others give score 1. Again, the background of the respondents determines their decisions to assess the datum. The most possible answer why the first respondent gives score 2 is that the duty of a worship leader in the charismatic churches to worship God all the time, day and night (in this case, not only through daily intern services but also any other services s/he is involved). So, maybe the exclamation that the Christian should praise God every day is not enough.
5 AN/B4 Keajaiban kasihMu
Score: 1.3
6 AN/B5 Penghibur, Pelindung Score: 1.7
The first and the third respondent gives score 1 whereas the second respondent gives score 3. The first and the third respondent that are very different in their religious life give the same assessment toward the datum. The question here, why are the different backgrounds of the first and third respondent can lead to the same assessment? The possible answer is that, somehow the religious life of the first and the second respondent is not the same like what is assumed by the public (the member of the congregation). Although a worship leader is expected to have closer understanding to the Bible and relationship with God, but somehow the common members of the congregation are possible to have better understanding and close relationship with God. That’s why; the second respondent has more attention to the terminology used on the data AN/B5.
The terminology “Penghibur” is related to the entertainment terms. It is assumed that to see God as an entertainer is not acceptable. The term “Penghibur” is too harsh to praise the goodness of God. That’s the possible reason why the second respondent considers the datum as not acceptable.
7 AN/B6 Menara kekuatan
Score: 2.3
which is commonly used by the Christian in Indonesia. About the strength, the most common term is “God is my strength (Exodus 15:2, Psalm 18:2), or “Mighty fortress”. Therefore, the term “menara kekuatan” is uncommon in the Bahasa Indonesia Bible.
8 AN/B7 Biarlah semua yang bernafas
Score: 1.7
9 AN/B8 Tak berhenti menyembahMu Score: 1.7
Similar with the previous data, data AN/B8 is assumed to have no mistakes. But, the respondents only consider it as quite acceptable. The possible reason is, in the Bahasa Indonesia Bible, the term “tak berhenti menyembah” only refers to the idolatry (Wahyu 9:20). The most common term is just “Menyembah” or “Sujud menyembah”. The explanation is that the life of the believers should not only worship God in the services but also through their daily lives. To worship God in the services all the time is considered as not a good thing to do.
10 AN/B9 Nyanyi dan bersoraklah bagi Dia Score: 2.3
11 AN/B10 Pujian hormat kuasa bagi Raja Score: 2
The datum gets score 2 from the respondents. Therefore, it cannot be assumed as fully accepted. The analysis leads to discuss the senses of the datum. Peoples can give praise (pujian) or honour (hormat) to the king. But, can they give power? Power belongs to the king. The peoples do not give it to the King.
12 AN/B11 Gunung tunduk laut bergelora
Score: 3.7
13 ANB12 Mendengar namaMu Score: 1.3
On the assessment of this datum, only the first respondent gives score 2, whereas the other respondents give score 1. The main reason is the point of view of the respondents. About hearing the name of the God, the second and third respondents are accustomed to hear the name of God is mentioned or shouted in the church. In fact, the first respondent who is a worship leader is not accustomed to hear the name of God but to sing or shout it. Therefore, the first respondent gives different score.
14 AN/B13 Ku bersuka atas perbuatanMu
Score: 2
All of the three respondents give various score: first respondent gives score 3, second respondent gives score 2 and the third respondent gives score 1. The first and the second respondents think that the using of the word “perbuatan” is too harsh to praise God whereas the third respondent sees that as a normal term. The second respondent gives note on the questionnaire that it is too harsh. He suggests the word “karya”.
15 AN/B14 S'lamanya ku kasihi Engkau Tuhan Score: 2
gives score 2 and the third respondent gives score 1. The background of the respondents, in this case is the religious life of the respondents influence their decision on scoring the datum. The first and the second respondents is assumed to know exactly how hard it is to love God since they are the persons who deeply participate in the religious life.
16 AN/B15 Tiada janji s'perti yang ada padaMu Score: 2.7
The datum AN/B15 is considered as not acceptable by the respondents. The first and the second respondents give score 3 whereas the third respondent give score 2. The main reason here is to compare something extraordinary that comes from God is not acceptable.
From acceptability score of each item, then it can be calculated that the acceptability scores of the Indonesian version of Shout to the Lord entitled “Nyanyi dan Bersoraklah”:
ΣX
M= N
M= mean (the average point), X= total number of accuracy scores, N= total number of the data
31.7 M= 16
M= 1.98 (quite acceptable) In percentage it would be
Σ= 1.98x 100% 4 Σ= 49.50%
Thus, the acceptability score of the Indonesian version of Shout to the Lord is 1.98 that means quite accurate or in percentage it is 49.50%.
In chart, the acceptability is presented by the following chart: Chart 2:
translation process will influence the readability of the source song and target song. By conducting the assessment on the readability of the translated song, the readability of the user in Bahasa Indonesia will be known.
Readability can be concluded as the naturalness of the translated work, the easiness of the translated work to be read in the target language, and how easy a translated work can be understood.
The assessment on the readability of the translated song involves three respondents who are the students of PBSID, FKIP, Sanata Dharma University. Their process in learning Bahasa Indonesia will help to assess the readability of the translated song since Bahasa Indonesia is a developing language. The first respondent is a Charismatic Christian, the second is a Catholic, and the third is a Moslem. By choosing different background of religion, it is expected to get objective data collection.
The indicator which is used to assess the readability of the song comes from the accuracy indicator proposed by M.R. Nababan which is modified by the researcher.
Score Indicator
1 The translation work is easily to be understood by the readers. The result of the translation fully can be understood by the readers.
2 The translation work can be understood by the readers but it can not be fully understood by the readers.
3 The translation work is hardly can be understood by the readers. The readers can only understand some parts of the translation work.
4 The translation work is absolutely difficult to be understood by the readers. The readers are totally blank towards the translation work. There are some parts which are not translated.
The grade of scoring and the range of the readability are:
Score Range Category
1 1,00-1,50 Readable
2 1,51-2,50 Quite readable
3 2,51-3,50 Not readable
4 3,51-4,00 Unreadable
Table 6. The score and range of the readability category of readability
The three respondents give various ranges of scores. The first respondent gives average score 1.9, the second respondent gives score 1.8, and the third respondent gives score 1.4. It is interesting that the first respondent gives the lowest grade of readability, the second respondent who is a Catholic give little bit lower that the first respondent who is a Charismatic Christian, whereas the third respondent who is a Moslem gives the highest score on readability. It is assumed that the background knowledge of the respondents on the Christianity terminologies; the respondents who have Christianity background and knowledge is more critical to the readability of the data, whereas the respondent from non-Christian is assumed to assess the data from the background and point of view of non-Christian.
1 AN/Judul Nyanyi dan Bersoraklah Score: 1
The respondents give average score 1 that means the datum is readable for them.
2 AN/B1 Yesusku, Penyelamatku
Score: 1
There is no problem on the datum AN/B1 so that the respondents give average score 1 (readable).
3 AN/B2 Tiada yang s'perti Engkau
Score: 1
The respondents assume that the datum AN/B2 is readable so that there is no problem on that.
4 AN/B3 Setiap hari ku memuji
Score: 1.3
5 AN/B4 Keajaiban kasihMu Score: 1.3
The first and the second respondents give score 1 (readable) whereas the third respondent gives score 2 (quite readable). The possible answer is the Moslem background of the respondent that has less understanding about the miracle of God’s life which is familiar to the Christian.
6 AN/B5 Penghibur, Pelindung
Score: 2.3
The first and the second respondents consider the datum AN/B5 not readable, whereas the third respondent sees that datum as readable (1). The first and the second respondents think that the use of the word “Penghibur” is not proper to describe one of the roles of God in the human being’s life.
7 AN/B6 Menara kekuatan
Score: 2.7
terminology related to word “menara” is “menara masjid” that is functioned to announce the time to worship Allah, not the tower of strength.
8 AN/B7 Biarlah semua yang bernafas
Score: 1.3
The respondents whose backgrounds are Christianity will be easy to understand the datum AN/B7 because it is related to a verse in the Bible that is Psalm 150:6. In other words, the datum AN/B7 is adapted from that verse. The Christians are assumed to be more familiar to something that comes from the Bible that they use.
9 AN/B8 Tak berhenti menyembahMu
Score: 1.3
The three respondents who have religious life will be easy to understand the terminology related to worship God. It assumed that as the believers, they should not stop to worship God.
10 AN/B9 Nyanyi dan bersoraklah bagi Dia
Score: 1
11 AN/B10 Pujian hormat kuasa bagi Raja Score: 2.7
The three respondents consider that datum as not readable. It is clear that they interpret the datum as “power and majesty, praise to the King”. For them, to give praise and honour to a King is easy to understand. But, they are confused with the term “kuasa bagi Raja” because, as they know, a King has already the power so that he does not need anyone to give him the power.
12 AN/B11 Gunung tunduk laut bergelora
Score: 2.3
13 AN/B12 Mendengar namaMu Score: 1.3
There is no problem for the respondents whose backgrounds are Christian to understand the data. Only the third respondent who is a Moslem that assess the datum as quite readable.
14 AN/B13 Ku bersuka atas perbuatanMu
Score: 2
All of the respondents agree that the datum is quite readable because they see it is not proper to call the work of God with the word like “perbuatan” which is seen as too harsh. The sense from the word “perbuatan” tends to be considered as negative assumption as noted by one of the respondents.
15 AN/B14 S'lamanya ku kasihi Engkau Tuhan Score: 1.3
Clearly, there is nothing wrong with the datum except the second respondent who gives score 2. The possible reason is the second respondent perhaps prefers to use “mengasihi” than just “kasihi”.
16 AN/B15 Tiada janji s'perti yang ada padaMu Score: 2.7
janji s'perti yang ada padaMu” especially the word “ada”. They prefer to “Tiada janji s’perti yang Engkau miliki”
From Readability score of each item, then it can be calculated that the readability scores of the translated work:
ΣX M= N
M= mean (the average point), X= total number of accuracy scores, N= total number of the data
26.5 M= 16
M= 1.65 (quite readable)
In percentage it would be Σ= M (mean) x 100%
4 Σ= 1.65 x 100%
4 Σ= 41.25%
Chart 3:
Chart 5:
Chart on Respondents Total Assesment
B. The Stylistics Analysis
Paul Simpson suggests six ways to explore styles in a poem (2004: 113). However, since the research is discussing the song that is treated as a poem, the stylistics discussion mainly focused on the sound, or, the musical devices. The benefit of using only the sound or musical devices than using all of the aspects is that this research is expected to be preliminary research on stylistics research of the song translation.
About musical devices, Laurence Perrine in his book entitledSound and Sense put musical devices as an important part on the discussion of a poem. He said that an essential element in all music is repetition. (Perrine, 1969: 717)
Perrine states that repetition cannot be separated from the music because it is one of the most important aspects. Some properties on musical devices that are based on the repetition according to Perrine are: Alliteration, Assonance, Consonance, and Rime. Therefore, the analysis on the musical devices is conducted based on the musical devices proposed by Perrine. Also, the sound pattern and rhythm analysis will be based on Paul Simpson method.
Paul Simpson’s theory is intended to explore the language style used by the song writer and the translator. The researcher will discuss the musical devices, sound pattern, and rhythm on the source language song and target language song.
