50 Writing Tools
By Roy Peter Clark (more by author)Introduction
The int roduct ory column t o t he workbench of Roy Pet er Clark.
Writing Tool #1: Branch to the Right
Begin sent ences wit h subj ect s and verbs, let t ing subordinat e element s branch t o t he right . Even a long, long sent ence can be cl ear and powerf ul when t he subj ect and verb make meaning early.
Writing Tool #2: Use St rong Verbs
Use verbs in t heir st rongest f orm, t he simple present or past . St rong verbs creat e act ion, save words, and reveal t he players.
Writing Tool #3: Beware of Adverbs
Beware of adverbs. They can dilut e t he meaning of t he verb or repeat it .
Writing Tool #4: Period As a Stop Sign
Place st rong words at t he beginning of sent ences and paragraphs, and at t he end. The period act s as a st op sign. Any word next t o t he period says, "Look at me. "
Writing Tool #5: Observe Word Territory
Observe "word t errit ory. " Give key words t heir space. Do not repeat a dist inct ive word unless you int end a specif ic ef f ect .
Writing Tool #6: Play with Words
Play wit h words, even in serious st ories. Choose words t he average writ er avoids but t he average reader underst ands.
Writing Tool #7: Dig for the Concrete and Specific
Always get t he name of t he dog.
Writing Tool #8: Seek Original Images
Seek original images. Make word l ist s, f ree-associat e, be surprised by l anguage. Rej ect cliches and "f irst -level creat ivit y. "
Writing Tool #9: Prefer Simple to Technical
Pref er t he simple t o t he t echnical: short er words and paragraphs at t he point s of great est complexit y.
Writing Tool #10: Recognize the Roots of Stories
Recognize t he myt hic, symbolic, and poet ic. Be aware (and beware) t hat common t hemes of news writ ing have deep root s in t he cult ure of st oryt elling.
Writing Tool #11: Back Off or Show Off
When t he news or t opic is most serious, underst at e. When t he t opic is l east serious, exaggerat e.
Writing Tool #12: Cont rol the Pace
Writing Tool #13: Show and Tell
Good writ ers move up and down t he ladder of abst ract ion. At t he bot t om are bl oody knives and rosary beads, wedding rings and baseball cards. At t he t op are words t hat reach f or a higher meaning, words like "f reedom" and "lit eracy. "
Writing Tool #14: Interesting Names
Remember t hat writ ers are, by t raining and disposit ion, at t ract ed t o people and places wit h int erest ing names.
Writing Tool #15: Reveal Character Traits
Reveal charact er t rait s t o t he reader t hrough scenes, det ails, and dialogue.
Writing Tool #16: Odd and Interesting Things
Put odd and int erest ing t hings next t o each ot her.
Writing Tool #17: The Number of Elements
The number of examples you use in a sent ence or a st ory has meaning.
Writing Tool #18: Internal Cliffhangers
Use t hem t o move readers t o t urn t he page.
Writing Tool #19: Tune Your Voice
Of all t he ef f ect s creat ed by writ ers, none is more import ant or elusive t han t hat qualit y called "voice. "
Writing Tool #20: Narrative Opportunities
Take advant age of narrat ive opport unit ies.
Writing Tool #21: Quot es and Dialogue
Learn how quot es dif f er f rom dialogue.
Writing Tool #22: Get Ready
Take a t ip f rom Hamlet and al ways be prepared t o t ell t he big st ory: Expect t he unexpect ed.
Writing Tool #23: Place Gold Coins Along the Path
Learn how t o keep your readers int erest ed by pl acing gold coins t hroughout your st ory.
Writing Tool #24: Name the Big Parts
Seeing t he st ruct ure of a st ory is easier if you can ident if y t he main part s.
Writing Tool #25: Repeat
Purposef ul repet it ion is not redundancy.
Roy's 'Toolbox' is Filling Up
St eve But t ry asks Roy Pet er Clark about his Writ ing Tools, and get s a glimpse int o t he t oolbox.
Writing Tool #26: Fear Not the Long Sentence
Do what you f ear: Use l ong sent ences.
Rif f on t he creat ive language of ot hers.
Writing Tool #28: Writing Cinematically
Aut hors have long underst ood how t o shif t t heir f ocus t o capt ure bot h landscape and charact er.
Writing Tool #29: Report for Scenes
The scene is t he most basic unit of narrat ive lit erat ure. Scenes put us t here, and make us care.
Writing Tool #30: Writ e Endings to Lock the Box
All writ ers have a license t o end, and t here are many ways t o do so.
Writing Tool #31: Parallel Lines
Writ ers shape up t heir writ ing by paying at t ent ion t o paral l el st ruct ures in t heir words, phrases, and sent ences.
Writing Tool #32: Let It Flow
A t ransit ion f rom t ools t o habit s.
Writing Tool #33: Rehearsal
Procrast inat ion can be product ive.
Writing Tool #34: Cut Big, Then Small
Precise and concise writ ing comes f rom disciplined cut t ing.
Writing Tool #35: Use Punctuation
Proper punct uat ion can help a writ er cont rol how f ast -- or slow -- a reader goes.
Writing Tool #36: Writ e A Mission Statement for Your Story
Learn how t o reach t he next level in your writ ing.
Writing Tool #37: Long Proj ects
Breaking a big proj ect int o small part s makes it easier t o st art writ ing.
Writing Tool #38: Polish Your Jewels
In short er works, don't wast e a syll able.
Writing Tool #39: The Voice of Verbs
Choose act ive or passive verbs f or t heir special ef f ect s.
Writing Tool #40: The Broken Line
Use t his t ool t o combine st oryt elling wit h report ing.
Writing Tool #41: X-Ray Reading
Reading ot hers' work can help make you a bet t er writ er.
Writing Tool #42: Paragraphs
Writing Tool #43: Self-criticism
Go f rom nice and easy t o rough and t ough.
Writing Tool #44: Save String
Save inf ormat ion -- it could be used f or a big proj ect lat er.
Writing Tool #45: Foreshadow
Plant import ant clues early in t he st ory.
Tool #46: Storytellers, Start Your Engines
Good quest ions drive good st ories.
Writing Tool #47: Collaboration
Help ot hers in t heir craf t s so t hey can help you.
Writing Tool #48: Create An Editing Support Group
Creat e a support net work of f riends, colleagues, edit ors, expert s, and coaches who can give you f eedback on your work.
Writing Tool #49: Learn from Criticism
Even severe or cynical crit icism can help a writ er.
Writing Tool #50: The Writing Process
Use t hese t ools t o demyst if y your writ ing.
Writing Tool #51: Too Many ‘ ings’
Fifty W ritin g To o ls
As you st udy and discuss t hese, please remember:
• These are t ools and not rules. They work out side t he realm of right and wrong, and inside t he worl d of cause and ef f ect . You will f ind many examples of good writ ing t hat seem t o "violat e" t he general advice described here. • It will not help to apply these tools at once, j ust as
aspiring golf ers swing and miss if t hey t ry t o remember t he 30 or so dif f erent element s of an ef f ect ive golf swing. • You will become handy with these tools over time. You
will begin t o recognize t heir use in t he st ories you read. You will see chances t o apply t hem when you revise your own work. Event ually, t hey will become part of your f low, nat ural and aut omat ic.
• You are already using many of these tools without
knowing it. It is impossible t o speak, writ e, or read wit hout t hem. But now t hese t ools have names, so you can begin t o t alk about t hem in dif f erent ways. As your crit ical
vocabulary grows, your writ ing will improve.
W ritin g To o l # 1: Bra n ch to th e Righ t
Begin sentences with subj ects and verbs, letting subordinate elements branch t o the right. Even a long, long sentence can be clear and powerful when the subj ect and verb make meaning early.
To use t his t ool, imagine each sent ence you writ e print ed on an inf init el y wide piece of paper. In English, a sent ence st ret ches f rom lef t t o right . Now imagine t his: A report er writ es a lead sent ence wit h subj ect and verb at t he beginning, f ollowed by ot her subordinat e
element s, creat ing what scholars call a "right -branching sent ence. "
I j ust creat ed one. Subj ect and verb of t he main clause j oin on t he lef t ("A report er writ es") while all ot her element s branch of f t o t he right . Here's anot her right -branching sent ence, writ t en by Lydia Polgreen as t he lead of a news st ory in The New Yor k Ti mes:
Rebels seized cont rol of Cap Hait ien, Hait i's second largest cit y, on Sunday, meet ing lit t le resist ance as hundreds of resident s cheered, burned t he police st at ion, plundered f ood f rom port warehouses and loot ed t he airport , which was quickly closed. Police of f icers and armed support ers of President Jean-Bert rand Arist ide f led.
That f irst sent ence is 37 words long and rippling wit h act ion. The sent ence is so f ul l, in f act , t hat it t hreat ens t o f ly apart like some over heat ed engine. But t he writ er keeps cont rol by creat ing meaning in t he f irst t hree words: "Rebels seized cont rol. . . " Think of t hat main clause as t he locomot ive t hat pulls all t he cars t hat f ollow.
In each sent ence, St einbeck places subj ect and verb at or near t he beginning. Clarit y and narrat ive energy f low t hrough t he passage, as one sent ence builds upon anot her. And he avoids monot onous st ruct ure by varying t he lengt h of his sent ences.
Subj ect and verb of t en get separat ed in prose, usuall y because we want t o t ell t he reader somet hing about t he subj ect bef ore we get t o t he verb. When we do t his, even f or good reasons, we risk conf using t he reader:
A bill t hat would exclude t ax income f rom t he assessed val ue of new homes f rom t he st at e educat ion f unding f ormula could mean a l oss of revenue f or Chesapeake Count y schools.
Eight een words separat e t he subj ect "bill " f rom it s weak verb "could mean, " a f at al f law t hat t urns what could be an import ant civic st ory int o gibberish.
If t he writ er want s t o creat e suspense, or build t ension, or make t he reader wait and wonder, or j oin a j ourney of discovery, or hold on f or dear lif e, she can save t he verb unt il t he end.
Workshop:
1. Read t hrough an edit ion of The New Yor k Ti mes wit h a pencil. Mark t he locat ion of subj ect s and verbs.
2. Do t he same wit h a collect ion of your own st ories.
3. Do t he same wit h a draf t of a st ory you're working on now.
4. The next t ime you st ruggle wit h a sent ence, see if you can rewrit e it by placing subj ect and verb at t he beginning.
hammers, chisels, and rakes, writ ing t ools never have t o be ret urned. They can be cleaned, sharpened, and passed on.
W ritin g To o l # 2 : U s e S tro n g Ve rbs
Use verbs in their strongest form, the simple present or past. Strong verbs create action, save words, and reveal the players.
President John F. Kennedy t est if ied t hat his f avorit e book was "From Russia Wit h Love, " t he 1957 James Bond advent ure by Ian Fleming. This choice revealed more about JFK t han we knew at t he t ime and creat ed a cult of 007 t hat persist s t o t his day.
The power in Fleming's prose f lows f rom t he use of act ive verbs. In sent ence af t er sent ence, page af t er page, England's f avorit e secret agent , or his beaut if ul companion, or his villainous adversary perf orms t he act ion of t he verb.
In writ ing t his passage, Fleming f oll owed t he advice of his count ryman George Orwell, who wrot e of verbs: "Never use t he passive when you can use t he
act ive. "
neck and chest . Her hands t r embl e. She pi cks nervously at t he soles of her f eet and conf esses t hat t hree mont hs earl ier she set herself on f ire wit h kerosene. "
While Fleming used t he past t ense t o narrat e hi s advent ure, Gall pref ers verbs in t he present t ense. This st rat egy immerses t he reader in t he immediacy of experience, as if we were sit t ing – right now -- beside t he poor woman in her grief .
Bot h Fleming and Gall avoid t he verb qualif iers t hat at t ach t hemselves t o st andard prose like barnacles t o t he hull of a ship:
• Sort of • Tend t o • Kind of • Must have • Seemed t o • Could have • Use t o
Scrape away t hese crust aceans during revision, and t he ship of your prose will glide t oward meaning wit h ef f icient speed and grace.
Workshop:
1. Verbs f all int o t hree cat egories: act ive, passive, and f orms of t he verb "t o be. " Review t hree of your st ories and circle t he verb f orms wit h a pencil . In t he margins, mark each verb by cat egory.
2. Look f or occasions t o convert passive or "t o be" verbs int o t he act ive. For example, "It was her observat ion t hat …" becomes "She observed …"
3. In your own work and in t he newspaper, search f or verb at t achment s and see what happens when you cut t hem f rom a st ory.
W ritin g To o l # 3 : Be w a re o f Ad ve rbs
Beware of adverbs. They can dilute the meaning of the verb or repeat it.
The aut hors of t he classic "Tom Swif t " advent ures f or boys l oved t he exclamat ion point and t he adverb. Consider t his brief passage f rom "Tom Swif t and His Great Searchlight ":
"Look! " suddenly exclaimed Ned. "There's t he agent now! . . . I'm going t o speak t o him! " impulsivel y declared Ned.
That exclamat ion point af t er "Look" should be enough t o heat t he prose f or t he young reader, but t he aut hor adds "suddenly" and "exclaimed" f or good measure. Time and again, t he writ er uses t he adverb, not t o change our underst anding of t he verb, but t o int ensif y it . The silliness t hey express a meaning already cont ained in it :
The vigor of verbs and t he absence of adverbs mark Berger's prose. As t he old man plays "Ave Maria…"
Black-clad and whit e-cl ad nuns moved lips in silent prayer. They choked up. The long years on t he Bowery had not st olen Laurence St roet z's t ouch. Blindness made his f ingers st umble down t o t he violin bridge, but t hey recovered. The music died and t he audience pat t ered applause. The old violinist bowed and his sunken cheeks creased in a smile.
How much bet t er t hat "t he audience pat t ered applause" t han t hat t hey "appl auded polit ely. "
Excess adverbiage ref lect s t he st yle of an immat ure writ er, but t he mast ers can st umble as well. John Updike wrot e a one-paragraph essay about t he beaut y of t he beer can bef ore t he invent ion of t he pop-t op. He dreamed of how suds once "f oamed eagerl y in t he exult at ion of release. " As I've read t hat sent ence over t he years, I've grown more impat ient wit h "eagerly. " It clot s t he space bet ween a great verb ("f oamed") and a great noun ("exult at ion"), which personif y t he beer and t ell us all we need t o know about eagerness.
Adverbs have t heir place in ef f ect ive prose. But use t hem sparingly.
Workshop
1. Look t hrough t he newspaper f or any word t hat ends in –ly. If it is an adverb, delet e it wit h your pencil and read t he new sent ence al oud.
2. Do t he same f or your l ast t hree essays, st ories, or papers. Circle t he adverbs, delet e t hem, and decide if t he new sent ence is bet t er or worse.
3. Read t hrough your adverbs again and mark t hose t hat modif y t he verb or adj ect ive as opposed t o t hose t hat j ust int ensif y it .
W ritin g To o l # 4 : Pe rio d As a S to p S ign
Place strong words at t he beginning of sentences and paragraphs, and at t he end. The period acts as a stop sign. Any word next to the period says, "Look at me. "
St runk & Whit e's "The Element s of St yle" advi ses t he writ er t o "Pl ace emphat ic words in a sent ence at t he end, " which of f ers an example of it s own rule. The most emphat ic word appears at "t he end. " Applicat ion of t his t ool –- an ancient rhet orical device –- will improve your prose in a f lash.
In any sent ence, t he comma act s as a speed bump and t he period as a st op sign. At t he period, t he t hought of t he sent ence is complet ed. That slight pause in reading f l ow magnif ies t he f inal word. This ef f ect is int ensif ied at t he end of a paragraph, where t he f inal words of t en adj oin whit e space. In a column of t ype, t he reader's eyes are drawn t o t he words next t o t he whit e space.
Emphat ic word order helps t he news writ er solve t he most dif f icult problems. Consider t his news lead f rom The Phi l adel phi a Inqui r er. The writ er must make sense of t hree powerf ul news element s: t he deat h of a Unit ed St at es Senat or, t he collision of aircraf t , and a t ragedy at an element ary school :
A privat e pl ane carrying U. S. Sen. John Heinz collided wit h a helicopt er in clear skies over Lower Merion Township yest erday, t riggering a f iery, midair explosion t hat rained burning debris over an element ary school playground.
Seven peopl e died: Heinz, f our pilot s, and t wo f irst -grade girls at pl ay out side t he school. At least f ive people on t he ground were inj ured, t hree of t hem children, one of whom was in crit ical condit ion wit h burns.
Flaming and smoking wreckage t umbled t o t he eart h around Merion Element ary School on Bowman Avenue at 12: 19 p. m. , but t he gray st one buil ding and it s occupant s were
spared. Fright ened chil dren ran f rom t he playground as t eachers herded ot hers
out side. Wit hin minut es, anxious parent s began st reaming t o t he school in j ogging suit s, business clot hes, house-coat s. Most were rewarded wit h emot ional reunions, amid t he smell of acrid smoke.
On most days, any of t he t hree news element s would lead t he paper. Combined, t hey f orm an overpowering news t apest ry, one t hat t he report er and edit or must handle wit h care. What mat t ers most in t his st ory? The deat h of a senat or? A spect acular crash? The deat h of children?
In t he f irst paragraph, t he writ er chose t o ment ion t he crash and t he senat or upf ront , and saved "element ary school playground" f or t he end. Throughout t he passage, subj ect s and verbs come early -– like t he locomot ive and coal car of a rail road t rain –- saving ot her int erest ing words f or t he end –- like a caboose.
sent ence. Pl acing "house-coat s" at t he end buil ds t he urgency of t he sit uat ion, parent s racing f rom t heir homes dressed as t hey are.
Put t ing st rong st uf f at t he beginning and t he end allows writ ers t o hide weaker st uf f in t he middle. In t he passage above, not ice how t he writ er hides t he less import ant news element s -– t he who and t he when ("Lower Merion Township yest erday") --– in t he middle of t he
lead. This st rat egy also works f or at t ribut ing quot at ions:
"It was one horrible t hing t o wat ch, " said Helen Amadio, who was walking near her Hampden Avenue home when t he crash occurred. "It exploded like a bomb. Black smoke j ust poured. "
Begin wit h a good quot e. Hide t he at t ribut ion in t he middle. End wit h a good quot e.
These t ools are as old as rhet oric it self . Near t he end of Shakespeare's f amous t ragedy, a charact er announces t o Macbet h: "The Queen, my Lord, is dead. "
This ast onishing example of t he power of emphat ic word order is f oll owed by one of t he darkest passages in all of lit erat ure. Macbet h says:
She should have died hereaf t er;
There woul d have a t ime f or such a word. Tomorrow, and t omorrow, and t omorrow Creeps in t his pet t y pace f rom day t o day, To t he last syllable of recorded t ime; And all our yest erdays have light ed f ools The way t o dust y deat h. Out , out , brief candle! Lif e's but a walking shadow, a poor player That st rut s and f ret s his hour upon t he st age And t hen is heard no more. It is a t ale Told by an idiot , f ull of sound and f ury Signif ying not hing.
The poet has one great advant age over t hose of us who writ e prose. He knows where t he line will end. He get s t o emphasize a word at t he end of a line, a sent ence, a paragraph. We prose writ ers make do wit h t he sent ence and paragraph –- signif ying somet hing.
Workshop:
1. Read Lincoln's "Get t ysburg Address" and Dr. King's "I Have a Dream" speech t o st udy t he uses of emphat ic word order.
2. Wit h a pencil in hand, read an essay you admire. Circle t he last words in each paragraph.
3. Do t he same f or recent examples of your own work. Look f or opport unit ies t o revise sent ences so t hat more powerf ul or int erest ing words appear at t he end.
4. Survey your f riends t o get t he names of t heir dogs. Writ e t hese in alphabet ical
W ritin g To o l # 5 : Obs e rve W o rd Te rrito ry
Observe "word territory. " Give key words t heir space. Do not repeat a distinctive word unless you intend a specific effect.
I coined t he phrase "word t errit ory" t o describe a t endency I not ice in my own writ ing. When I read a st ory I wrot e mont hs or years ago, I am surprised by how of t en I repeat words wit hout care.
Writ ers may choose t o repeat words or phrases f or emphasis or rhyt hm. Abraham Lincol n was not redundant in his hope t hat a "government of t he people, by t he people, f or t he people, shall not perish f rom t he eart h. " Only a mischievous or t one-deaf edit or would delet e t he repet it ion of "people. "
To observe word t errit ory you must recognize t he dif f erence bet ween int ended and unint ended repet it ion. For example, I once wrot e t his sent ence t o describe a writ ing t ool:
Long sent ences cr eat e a f low t hat carries t he reader down a st ream of underst anding,
cr eat i ng an ef f ect t hat Don Fry cal l s "st eady advance. "
It t ook several years and hundreds of readings bef ore I not iced I had writ t en "creat e" and "creat ing" in t he same sent ence. It was easy enough t o cut out "creat ing, " giving t he st ronger verb f orm it s own space. Word t errit ory.
In 1978 I wrot e t his ending t o a st ory about t he lif e and deat h of Beat writ er Jack Kerouac in my homet own of St . Pet ersburg, Fl orida:
How f it t ing t hen t hat t his child of bliss should come in t he end t o St . Pet ersburg. Our cit y of golden sunshine, balmy serenit y, and careless bliss, a paradise f or t hose who have known hard t imes. And, at once, t he cit y of wret ched l oneliness, t he cit y of which no key words were repeat ed. That ef f ect would mark a hard-core adherence t o word t errit ory, but , in f act , does not ref lect t he way t hat Hemingway writ es. He of t en repeat s key words on a page — t abl e, rock, f ish, river, sea — because t o f ind a synonym st rains t he writ er's eyes and t he reader's ears.
Consider t his passage f rom "A Moveable Feast ":
All you have t o do is writ e one t r ue sent ence. Writ e t he t r uest sent ence t hat you know. So f inally I woul d writ e one t r ue sent ence, and t hen go on f rom t here. It was easy t hen because t here was always one t r ue sent ence t hat I knew or had seen or had heard someone say. If I st art ed t o writ e elaborat ely, or like someone int roducing or present ing somet hing, I f ound t hat I could cut t hat scroll work or ornament out and t hrow it away and st art wit h t he f irst t r ue si mpl e decl ar at i ve sent ence I had writ t en.
As a reader, I appreciat e t he repet it ion in t he Hemingway passage. The ef f ect is like t he beat of a bass drum. It vibrat es t he writ er's message int o t he pores of t he skin. Some words — like "t rue" or "sent ence" — act as building blocks and can be repeat ed t o good ef f ect . Dist inct ive words — like "scroll work" or "ornament " — deserve t heir own space.
Finall y, leave "said" alone. Don't be t empt ed by t he muse of variat ion t o permit charact ers t o "opine, " "elaborat e, " "chort le, " "caj ole, " or "laugh. "
Workshop:
1. Read a st ory you wrot e at least a year ago. Pay at t ent ion t o t he words you repeat . Divide t hem int o t hree cat egories:
a. f unct ion words("said" or "t hat ") b. f oundat ion words ("house" or "river") c. dist inct ive words("sil houet t e" or "j ingle")
2. Do t he same wit h t he draf t of a st ory you are working on now. Your goal is t o recognize unint ended repet it ion bef ore it is published.
W ritin g To o l # 6 : Pla y w ith W o rd s
Play with words, even in serious st ories. Choose words the average writer avoids but the average reader underst ands. spaces. Consider t his headline about a shocking day during t he war in Iraq: Jubilant mob mauls four dead Americans.
Dechardonae Gaines, 2, was t oddling down t he sidewal k Monday lugging her Easy Bake Oven when she became t he vict im in one of t he weirder animal at t ack cases police can recall.
The writ er's choice of words brings t o lif e t his of f -beat police st ory in which a roost er at t acks a lit t le girl. 'Screams' is a word we see in t he news all t he t ime, but not 'roost er. ' Bot h
't oddling' and 'lugging' are words common t o t he average reader, but unusual in t he news.
Benham uses ot her words t hat are common t o readers, but rare in report ing: Vent ured, bell y, pummeling, f reaking, swat t ed, backhanded, shuf f led, lat ched on, hammered, crowing, f lip-f lops, shucked, bobbed, skit t ered, and sandspurs.
All of us possess a reading vocabulary as big as a lake, but draw f rom a writ ing vocabulary as small as a pond. The good news is t hat t he act of report ing always expands t he number of useable words. The report er sees and hears and records. The seeing leads t o l anguage.
"The writ er must be abl e t o f eel words int imat ely, one at a t ime, " writ es poet Donal d Hall. "He must also be able t o st ep back, inside his head, and see t he f lowing sent ence. But he st art s wit h t he single word. " Hall cel ebrat es writ ers who "are original, as if seeing a t hing f or t he f irst t ime; yet t hey report t heir vision in a l anguage t hat reaches t he rest of us. For t he f irst qualit y t he writ er needs imaginat ion; f or t he second he needs skill . . . Imaginat ion wit hout skill makes a l ively chaos; skill wit hout imaginat ion, a deadly order. "
Workshop:
1. Read several st ories in t oday's newspaper. Circle any surprising word, especially one you are not used t o seeing in t he news.
2. Writ e a draf t of a st ory or essay wit h t he int ent ion of unleashing your writ ing
vocabulary. Show t his draf t t o some t est readers and int erview t hem about your word choice and t heir level of underst anding. Share your f indings wit h ot hers.
W ritin g To o l # 7: D ig fo r th e Co n cre te a n d Sp e cific
Dig for the concrete and specific: the name of the dog.
Novelist Joseph Conrad once described his t ask t his way: "By t he power of t he writ t en word t o make you hear, t o make you f eel — it is, bef ore all, t o make you see. " When Gene Robert s, a great American newspaper edit or, broke in as a cub report er in Nort h Carolina, he read his st ories aloud t o a bl ind edit or who would chast ise young Robert s f or not making him see. Rockadoodl e and one-l egged Henny Penny. (I cannot expl ain why it
mat t ers t hat t he of f ending roost er’ s mot her only had one l eg, but it does. ) will reveal . Brit ish schol ar John Carey describes t hese examples f rom his collect ion
Eyewi t ness t o Hi st or y:
This book is … f ull of unusual or indecorous or incident al images t hat imprint
(Though t here is no surviving record of t he name of Mary’ s dog, I have l earned t hat it was a Skye t errier, a Scot t ish breed f amous f or it s loyalt y and val or! )
The good writ er uses t el ling det ails, not onl y t o inf orm but t o persuade. In 1963 Gene Pat t erson wrot e t his passage in a column mourning t he murders of f our girls in t he dynamit e bombing of a church in Alabama:
A Negro mot her wept in t he st reet Sunday morning in f ront of a Bapt ist Church in Birmingham. In her hand she held a shoe, one shoe, f rom t he f oot of her dead chil d. We hold t hat shoe wit h her.
Pat t erson will not permit whit e Sout herners t o escape responsibilit y f or t he murder of t hose children. He f ixes t heir eyes and ears, f orcing t hem t o hear t he weeping of t he grieving mot her, and t o see t he one t iny shoe. The writ er makes us empat hize and mourn and underst and. He makes us see.
Workshop:
1. Read t oday’ s edit ion of The New Yor k Ti mes looking f or passages in st ories t hat appeal t o t he senses. Do t he same wit h a novel.
2. Ask a group of colleagues or st udent s t o share st ories about t he names of t heir pet s. Which names reveal t he most about t he personalit ies of t he owners?
3. Wit h some f riends, st udy t he collect ed work of an out st anding phot oj ournalist . Make believe you are writ ing a st ory about t he scene capt ured in t he phot o. Which det ails might you select , and in what order would you render t hem?
W ritin g To o l # 8 : S e e k Origin a l Im a ge s
Seek original images. Make word lists, free-associate, be surprised by language. Rej ect cliches and "first-level creativity. "
The mayor want s t o rebuild a downt own in ruins but will not reveal t he det ails of his plan. "He's pl aying his cards close t o his vest , " you writ e.
You have writ t en a cliche, a worn-out met aphor. This one comes f rom t he world of gambling, of course. The mayor's adversaries would love a peek at his hand. Whoever used t his
met aphor f irst , wrot e somet hing f resh. Wit h overuse, it became f amiliar and st ale.
More deadly t han cliches of language are what Donald Murray calls "cliches of vision, " t he narrow f rames t hrough which writ ers learn t o see t he worl d. In "Writ ing t o Deadl ine, " Murray list s common blind spot s: vict ims are always innocent , bureaucrat s are lazy, polit icians are corrupt , it 's lonely at t he t op, t he suburbs are boring.
I have described one cliche of vision as "f irst -l evel creat ivit y. " For example, it 's impossible t o survive a week of American j ournalism wit hout reading or hearing t he phrase: "But t he dream became a night mare. "
This f rame is so pervasive t hat it can be appl ied t o almost any st ory: t he golf er who shoot s 33 on t he f ront nine, but 44 on t he back; t he company CEO j ail ed f or f raud; t he woman who suf f ers f rom bot ched pl ast ic surgery.
Writ ers who reach t he f irst level of creat ivit y t hink t hey are being original or clever. In f act , t hey set t le f or t he ordinary, t he dramat ic or humorous place any writ er can reach wit h minimal ef f ort .
I remember t he t rue st ory of a Florida man, who, walking home f or l unch, f ell int o a dit ch occupied by an all igat or. The gat or bit int o t he man, who was rescued by f iref ight ers. In a writ ing workshop, I gave report ers a f act sheet f rom which t hey were t o writ e f ive dif f erent leads f or t his st ory in f ive minut es. Some leads were st raight and newsy, ot hers nif t y and dist inct ive. But almost everyone in t he room, including me, had t his version of a lead sent ence:
When Rober t Hudson headed home f or l unch Thur sday, l i t t l e di d he know t hat he'd become t he meal .
We agreed t hat if 30 of us had landed on t he same bit of humor, it must be obvious -- f irst level creat ivit y. We discovered t he next level in a lead t hat read: "Perhaps t o a 10-f oot alligat or, Robert Hudson t ast es like chicken. " We also agreed t hat we pref erred st raight writ ing t o t he f irst pun t hat came t o mind. What value is t here in t he st ory of a renegade roost er t hat ment ions "f oul play, " or, even worse, "f owl play"?
Some f orms of cleverness are irresist ible. When t he Salvador Dali Museum opened in St . Pet ersburg, Fla. , who could blame t he headline writ er who t yped out "Hello, Dali"? But if a dream never more becomes a night mare, American j ournal ism and t he public it serves will be bet t er f or it .
Workshop:
1. Read t he newspaper t oday wit h a pencil in your hand and circle any phrase you are used t o seeing in print .
2. Apply t his process t o your own st ories. Read some old ones and circle t he cliches or t ired phrases. Revise t hem wit h st raight writ ing or original images.
W ritin g To o l # 9 : Pre fe r Sim p le to Te ch n ica l
Prefer the simple to the technical: shorter words and paragraphs at t he points of greatest complexity.
I once learned a lit erary t echnique called "def amiliarizat ion, " a hopeless and ugly word t hat describes t he process by which an aut hor t akes t he f amiliar and makes it st range. Film t hemselves. Post age st amps mat e wit h one anot her as shamelessly
as grasshoppers.
What could be more f amiliar t han a must ache on a t eacher's f ace, but not t his must ache, as described by Roald Dahl in his chil dhood memoir:
A t ruly t errif ying sight , a t hick orange hedge t hat sprout ed and f lourished bet ween his nose and his upper lip and ran clear across his f ace f rom t he middle of one cheek t o t he middle of t he
ot her…It was curled most splendidl y upwards all t he way al ong as t hough it had a permanent wave put int o it or possibly curl ing t ongs heat ed in t he mornings over a t iny f lame…. The onl y ot her way he could have achieved t his curling ef f ect , we boys decided was by prol onged upward brushing wit h a hard t oot hbrush in f ront of t he looking-glass every morning.
Bot h Whit e and Dahl t ake a common experience or obj ect – t he humid day or t he must ache – and, t hrough t he f ilt er of t heir prose st yle, f orce us t o see it in a new way.
We might as well give a name t o t he opposit e and more common process. For balance we'll call it "f amil iarizat ion, " t aking t he st range, or opaque, or complex, and t hrough t he power of explanat ion, making it comprehensible, even f amiliar.
Too of t en, writ ers render complicat ed ideas wit h complicat ed prose, producing sent ences such as t his one, f rom an edit orial about st at e government :
To avert t he all t oo common enact ment of requirement s wit hout regard f or t heir l ocal cost and t ax impact , however, t he commission recommends t hat st at ewide int erest shoul d be clearly ident if ied on any proposed mandat es, and t hat st at e should part ially reimburse local government f or some st at e imposed mandat es and f ully f or t hose involving employee
compensat ion, working condit ions and pensions.
The densit y of t his passage has t wo possible explanat ions: t he writ er is writ ing f or a
specialized one, legal expert s already f amil iar wit h t he issues. Or, t he writ er t hinks t hat f orm should f ollow f unct ion, t hat complicat ed ideas should be communicat ed in complicat ed prose.
He needs t he advice of writ ing coach Donald Murray, who says t he reader benef it s f rom short er words and phrases, simpler sent ences, at t he point s of great est complexit y. What would happen if readers encount ered t his t ranslat ion of t he edit orial?:
The st at e of New York of t en passes laws t elling local government s what t o do. These laws have a name. They are called "st at e mandat es. " On many occasions, t hese laws improve lif e f or everyone in t he st at e. But t hey come wit h a cost . Too of t en, t he st at e doesn't consider t he cost t o l ocal government , or how much money t axpayers will have t o shell out . So we have an idea. The st at e should pay back local government s f or some of t hese so-cal led "mandat es. "
The dif f erences in t hese passages are wort h measuring. This f irst one t akes six lines of t ext . The revision requires one addit ional line. But consider t his: The original writ er only has room f or 57 words in six lines, while I get 81 words in seven lines. His six l ines give him room f or only one sent ence. I f it eight sent ences int o seven lines. My words and sent ences are short er. The passage is much clearer. I use t his writ ing st rat egy t o f ulf ill a mission: t o make t he st range workings of government clearer t o t he average cit izen. To make t he st range f amiliar.
It is import ant t o remember t hat cl ear prose is not j ust a product of sent ence lengt h or word choice. It derives f irst f rom a sense of purpose – a det erminat ion t o inf orm. What comes next is t he hard work of report ing, research, and crit ical t hinking. The writ er cannot make
somet hing clear unt il t he dif f icult subj ect is clear in t he writ er's head. Then, and only t hen, does she reach int o t he writ er's t oolbox, ready t o explain t o readers, "Here's how it works. "
Workshop:
1. Review a st ory you t hink is unclear, dense wit h dif f icult inf ormat ion. St udy t he lengt h of words, sent ences, and paragraphs.
2. Repeat t he process wit h your own prose. Pay special at t ent ion t o passages you now t hink are t oo complicat ed. Try t o revise a passage using t he t ools described above. 3. Begin t o collect examples of st ories where t he writ er has t urned hard f act s int o easy
W ritin g To o l # 10 : Re co gn ize th e Ro o ts o f S to rie s
Recognize the mythic, symbolic, and poetic. Be aware (and beware) that common themes of news writing have deep roots in the culture of storytelling.
In 1971 John Pilger described a prot est march by Viet nam vet erans against t he war:
"The t rut h is out ! Mickey Mouse is dead! The good guys are really t he bad guys in disguise! " The speaker is Wil liam Wyman, f rom New York Cit y. He is 19 and has no legs. He sit s in a wheelchair on t he st eps of t he Unit ed St at es Congress, in t he midst of a crowd of 300, 000 . . . He has on green combat f at igues and t he j acket is t orn where he has ripped away t he medals and t he ribbons he has been given in exchange f or his legs, and along wit h hundreds of ot her vet erans . . . he has hurled t hem on t he Capit ol st eps and described t hem as shit ; and now t o t hose who f orm a ring of pit y around him, he says, "Bef ore I l ost t hese legs, I killed and killed! We all did! Jesus, don't grieve f or me! "
That said, writ ers in search of a new st ory will of t en st umble upon ancient st ories f orms. Let 's call t hem archet ypes, st ory shapes t hat are so deeply root ed in t he cult ure t hat t hey appear over and over again. Badly used, archet ypes can become st ereot ypes — clichés of vision — warping t he report er's experience of t he world t o sat isf y t he requirement s of t he f orm. Used well, t hese f orms t urn t he st uf f of daily l if e int o powerf ul experiences of news and cult ure.
Some of t he best writ ers in America work f or Nat ional Public Radio. The st ories t hey t ell, making great use of nat ural sound, open a worl d t o list eners t hat is bot h f resh and dist inct ive, and yet of t en inf ormed by narrat ive archet ypes. Margo Adler admit t ed as much when she revealed t hat her f eat ure st ory on t he New York homeless l iving in subway t unnels borrowed on her underst anding of myt hs in which t he hero descends int o t he underworld.
More recent ly, NPR report ed t he st ory of an aut ist ic boy, Mat t Savage, who has become, at t he age of nine, an accomplished j azz musician. The report er, Margo Melnicove, t apped int o t he st andard f orm of t he young hero who t riumphs over obst acles. But t he st ory gives us somet hing more: "Unt il recent ly Mat t Savage could not st and t o hear music and most ot her sounds. " Int ensive audit ory t herapy t urns t he boy's neurol ogical curse int o a blessing, unleashing a passion f or music expressed in j azz.
"We use t he archet ypes, " says Pulit zer winner Tom French. "We can't let t he archet ypes use us. "
As a caut ionary t ale, he cit es t he report ing on t he dangers of silicone breast impl ant s t o t he healt h of women. St udy af t er st udy conf irms t he medical saf et y of t his procedure. Yet t he cult ure ref uses t o accept it . Why? French wonders if it may arise f rom t he archet ype t hat vanit y shoul d be punished, or t hat evil corporat ions are wil ling t o prof it by poisoning women's bodies.
Use archet ypes. Don't let t hem use you.
Workshop:
1. Read Joseph Campbell's "Hero Wit h a Thousand Faces" as an int roduct ion t o archet ypal st ory f orms.
2. As you read and hear coverage of t he milit ary act ions in t he Middle East , look and list en f or examples of t he st ory f orms described above.
3. Re-examine your own writ ing over t he last year. Can you now ident if y st ories t hat f it or viol at e archet ypal st ory pat t erns? Woul d you have writ t en t hem dif f erent ly?
W ritin g To o l # 11: Ba ck Off o r S h o w Off
When the news or topic is most serious, understate. When the topic is least serious, exaggerate.
George Orwell wrot e, "Good writ ing is like a window pane. " The best prose calls t he reader's at t ent ion t o t he world being described, not t o t he writ er's cleverness. When we look out t he window ont o t he horizon, we don't not ice t he pane. Yet t he pane f rames our vision j ust as t he writ er f rames our view of t he st ory.
Most writ ers have at least t wo modes: One says "Pay no at t ent ion t o t he writ er behind t he screen. Look onl y at t he world. " The ot her says, wit hout inhibit ion: "Look at me dance. Aren't I a clever f ellow?" In rhet oric, t hese t wo modes have names. The f irst is called
underst at ement . The second is called overst at ement or hyperbole.
Here's a rul e of t humb t hat works f or me. The more serious or dramat ic t he subj ect , t he more t he writ er backs of f , creat ing t he ef f ect t hat t he st ory is "t elling it self . " The more playf ul or inconsequent ial t he t opic, t he more t he writ er can show of f . Back of f or show of f .
Consider t his lead t o John Hersey's f amous book "Hiroshima":
At exact ly f if t een minut es past eight in t he morning, on August 6, 1945, Japanese t ime, at t he moment when t he at omic bomb f lashed above Hi roshima, Miss Toshiko Sasaki, a clerk in t he personnel depart ment of t he East Asia Tin Works, had j ust sat down at her place in t he plant of f ice and was t urning her head t o speak t o t he girl in t he next desk.
This book, described by some as t he most import ant work of nonf ict ion in t he 20t h Cent ury, begins wit h t he most ordinary of circumst ances, a recit at ion of t he t ime and dat e, and t wo of f ice workers about t o converse. The f lashing of t he at omic bomb al most hides inside t hat sent ence. Because we can imagine t he horror t hat is t o f oll ow, t he ef f ect of Hersey's underst at ement is chill ing.
In 1958, R. M. Macoll , writ ing f or an English newspaper, describes t he execut ion of a man and woman in Saudi Arabia. The man is quickly and ef f icient ly beheaded, but t he woman suf f ers a crueler f at e:
Now a woman was dragged f orward. She and t he man had t oget her murdered her f ormer husband. She, t oo, was under 30, and slender.
The recit al of her crime t oo was read out as she knelt , and t hen t he execut ioner st epped f orward wit h a wooden st ave and dealt a hundred blows upon her shoul der.
As t he f logging ended, t he woman sagged over on her side.
Next , a lorry loaded wit h rocks and st ones was backed up and it s cargo deposit ed in a pile. At a signal f rom t he prince t he crowd leaped and st art ed pelt ing t he woman t o deat h.
I can easily imagine a version of t his passage laced wit h out rage, but I f ind t he st raight f orward account vivid and dist urbing, leaving room f or my own emot ional and
int ellect ual response, t hat t his is a cruel and unusual punishment , designed t o keep women in t heir place.
Let 's cont rast such underst at ement t o t he sprit ely st yle of t he great AP writ er, Saul Pet t , who wrot e t his descript ion of New York Cit y's colorf ul mayor Ed Koch:
He is t he f reshest t hing t o blossom in New York since chopped liver, a mixed met aphor of a polit ician, t he ant it hesis of t he packaged leader, irrepressible, candid, impol it ic,
spont aneous, f unny, f eist y, independent , uncowed by vot er blocs, unsexy, unhandsome, unf ashionable, and alt oget her charismat ic, a man oddl y at peace wit h himself in an
unpeacef ul place, a mayor who presides over t he count ry's largest Babel wit h unseemly j oy.
Pet t 's prose is over-t he-t op, a squirt of selt zer down your pant s, as was Mayor Koch. Alt hough municipal polit ics can be serious business, t he cont ext here allows Pet t room f or t he f ull t heat rical review.
The clever uber-writ er can, in t he words of Anna Quindlen, "writ e your way ont o page one, " as invest igat ive report er Bill Not t ingham did t he day his cit y edit or assigned him t o cover t he local spelling bee: "Thirt een-year-ol d Lane Boy is t o spelling what Bill y t he Kid was t o gun-f ight ing, icy-nerved and ungun-f linchingl y accurat e. "
To underst and t he dif f erence bet ween underst at ement and overst at ement , consider t he cinemat ic dif f erence bet ween t wo St even Spielberg movies. In "Schindler's List , " Spielberg evokes t he horrors of t he Holocaust rat her t han depict t hem graphicall y. In a black and whit e movie, he makes us f ollow t he lif e and inevit abl e deat h of one lit t le Jewish girl dressed in red.
"Saving Privat e Ryan" reveals in grisl y det ail t he gruesome warf are on t he shores of France during t he Invasion of Normandy, complet e wit h severed limbs and spurt ing art eries. I, f or one, f avor t he more rest rained approach where t he art ist leaves room f or my imaginat ion.
Workshop:
1. Keep your eyes open f or lively st ories t hat make t heir way ont o page one of t he newspaper, even t hough t hey lack t radit ional news value. Discuss how t hey were writ t en.
2. Review some of t he st ories writ t en af t er t he t ragedies of Sept . 11, 2001. Not ice t he dif f erence bet ween t he st ories t hat seemed "rest rained" and t he ones t hat seem "over-writ t en. "
3. Read some examples of f eat ure obit s f rom The New Yor k Ti mes' "Port rait s of Grief. " St udy t he underst at ed ways in which t hese are writ t en.
4. Read works of humor f rom writ ers such as Woody Allen, Roy Blount Jr., Dave Barry, S. J. Pearlman, or St eve Mart in. Look f or examples of bot h hyperbole and
W ritin g To o l # 12 : Co n tro l th e Pa ce
Control the pace of the story by varying sentence length.
Long sent ences creat e a f low t hat carries t he reader down a st ream of underst anding, an ef f ect t hat Don Fry cal l s "st eady advance. " Or slam on t he brakes.
The writ er cont rols t he pace of t he st ory, slow or f ast or in bet ween, and uses sent ences of varying lengt hs t o creat e t he music, t he rhyt hm of t he st ory. While t hese met aphors of sound and speed may seem vague t o t he aspiring writ er, t hey are grounded in usef ul t ools and pract ical quest ions. How long is t he sent ence? Where is t he comma and t he period? How many periods appear in t he paragraph? mayor and council members what he or she t hinks.
I learned t he power of sent ence lengt h when I read a f amous essay by Norman Mailer, "The Deat h of Benny Paret . " Mailer has of t en writ t en about boxing, and in t his essay he report s on how prizef ight er Emile Grif f it h beat Benny Paret t o deat h in t he ring af t er Paret quest ioned Grif f it h's manhood.
Mailer's account is rivet ing, pl acing us at ringside t o wit ness t he t errible event :
Paret got t rapped in a corner. Trying t o duck away, his lef t arm and his head became t angled on t he wrong side of t he t op rope. Grif f it h was in like a cat ready t o rip t he lif e out of a huge boxed rat . He hit him 18 right hands in a row, an act which t ook perhaps t hree or f our
seconds, Grif f it h making a pent -up whimpering sound all t he while he at t acked, t he right hand whipping like a pist on rod which has broken t hrough t he crankcase, or l ike a baseball bat demolishing a pumpkin.
Not ice t he rhyt hm Mailer achieves by beginning t hat paragraph wit h t hree short sent ences, culminat ing in a l ong sent ence f illed wit h met aphors of act ion and viol ence.
As it becomes clearer and clearer t hat Paret is f at ally inj ured, Mailer's sent ences get short er and short er:
The house doct or j umped int o t he ring. He knelt . He pried Paret 's eyelid open. He looked at t he eyeball st aring out . He let t he lid snap shut . But t hey saved Paret long enough t o t ake him t o a hospit al where he l ingered f or days. He was in a coma. He never came out of it . If he lived, he would have been a veget able. His brain was smashed.
All t hat drama. All t hat raw emot ional power. All t hose short sent ences.
In a 1985 book, Gary Provost creat ed t his t our de f orce t o demonst rat e what happens when t he writ er experiment s wit h sent ences of dif f erent lengt hs:
This sent ence has f ive words. Here are f ive more words. Five-word sent ences are f ine. But several t oget her become monot onous. List en t o what is happening. The writ ing is get t ing boring. The sound of it drones. It 's l ike a st uck record. The ear demands some variet y.
Now list en. I vary t he sent ence lengt h, and I creat e music. Music. The writ ing sings. It has a pleasant rhyt hm, a lilt , a harmony. I use short sent ences. And I use sent ences of medium lengt h.
And somet imes, when I am cert ain t he reader is rest ed, I will engage him wit h a sent ence of considerabl e lengt h, a sent ence t hat burns wit h energy and builds wit h all t he impet us of a crescendo, t he roll of t he drums, t he crash of t he cymbals -- sounds t hat say l ist en t o t his, it is import ant .
So writ e wit h a combinat ion of short , medium, and long sent ences.
Creat e a sound t hat pleases t he reader's ear.
Don't j ust writ e words. Writ e music.
1. Review some of your recent st ories t o examine your sent ence lengt h. Eit her by combining sent ences or cut t ing t hem in half , see if you can est ablish a rhyt hm t hat suit s your t one and t opic.
2. When reading your f avorit e aut hors become more aware of variat ion of sent ence lengt h. Mark of f some very short sent ences, and very long ones, t hat you f ind ef f ect ive.
3. Most writ ers t hink t hat a series of short sent ences speeds up t he reader, but I'm arguing t hat t hey slow t he reader down, t hat al l t hose periods are st op signs. Discuss t his ef f ect wit h colleagues and see if you can reach a consensus.
W ritin g To o l # 13 : S h o w an d Te ll
Good writ ers move up and down t he ladder of abst ract ion. At t he bot t om are bl oody knives and rosary beads, wedding rings and baseball cards. At t he t op are words t hat reach f or a higher meaning, words like "f reedom" and "lit eracy. " Beware of t he middle, t he rungs of t he ladder where bureaucracy and public policy lurk. In t hat pl ace, t eachers are ref erred t o as "inst ruct ional unit s. "
The ladder of abst ract ion remains one of t he most usef ul models of t hinking and writ ing ever invent ed. Popularized by S. I. Hayakawa in his 1939 book "Language in Act ion, " t he ladder has been adopt ed and adapt ed in hundreds of ways t o help people t hink cl early and express meaning. invent ions and negat ive improvement s. " That language is general and abst ract , near t he t op of t he l adder. It provokes our t hinking,
but what concret e evidence leads Updike t o his conclusion? The answer is in his second sent ence: "Consider t he beer can. " To be even more specif ic, Updike was compl aining t hat t he invent ion of t he pop-t op ruined t he aest het ic experience of drinking beer. "Pop-t op" and "beer" are at t he bot t om of t he ladder, "aest het ic experience" at t he t op.
We learned t his language lesson in kindergart en when we pl ayed Show and Tell. When we showed t he class our 1957 Mickey Mant le baseball card, we were at t he bot t om of t he ladder. When we t old t he class about what a great season Mickey had in 1956, we st art ed climbing t o t he t op of t he ladder, t oward t he meaning of "great ness. "
Let 's imagine an educat ion report er covering t he local school board. Perhaps t he t opic of discussion is a new reading curriculum. The report er is unlikely t o hear conversat ion about lit t le Bessie Jones, a t hird-grader in Mrs. Grif f it h's class at Gulf port Element ary, who will have t o repeat t he t hird grade because she f ailed t he st at e reading t est . Bessie cried when her mot her showed her t he t est result s.
Nor are you likely t o hear school board members ascending t o t he t op of t he ladder t o discuss "t he import ance of crit ical lit eracy in educat ion, vocat ion, and cit izenship. "
The language of t he school board may be st uck in t he middl e of t he ladder: "How many inst ruct ional unit s wil l be
necessary t o carry out t he scope and sequence of t his curriculum?" an educat ional expert may ask. Carolyn Mat alene, a great writ ing t eacher f rom Sout h Carolina, t aught me t hat when report ers writ e prose t he reader can neit her see nor underst and, t hey are of t en t rapped half way up t he ladder.
Let 's look at how some good writ ers move up and down t he ladder. Consider t his lead by Jonat han Bor on a heart
t ransplant operat ion: "A healt hy 17-year-old hear t pumped t he gif t of lif e t hrough 34-year-old Bruce Murray Friday, f ol lowing a f our-hour t ransplant operat ion t hat doct ors said went
wit hout a hit ch. " That heart is at t he bot t om of t he ladder — t here is no ot her heart like it in t he world — but t he blood t hat it pumps signif ies a higher meaning, "t he gif t of lif e. " Such movement s up t he ladder creat e a l if t -of f of underst anding, an ef f ect some writ ers call "alt it ude. "
One of America's great baseball writ ers, Thomas Boswell, wrot e t his essay on t he aging of at hlet es:
The cleanup crews come at midnight , creeping int o t he ghost ly quart er-light of empt y ballparks wit h t heir slow-sweeping brooms and languorous, sluicing hoses. All season, t hey remove t he inanimat e ref use of a game. Now, in t he dwindling days of Sept ember and Oct ober, t hey come t o collect baseball souls.
Age is t he sweeper, inj ury his broom.
Mixed among t he burst beer cups and t he must ard-smeared wrappers headed f or t he t rash heap, we f ind old f riends who are being consigned t o t he dust bin of baseball's hist ory.
The abst ract "inanimat e ref use" soon becomes visible as "burst beer cups" and "must ard-smeared wrappers. " And t hose cleanup crews wit h t heir very real brooms and hoses t ransmogrif y int o grim reapers in search of baseball souls.
Met aphor and simile hel p us t o underst and abst ract ions t hrough comparison wit h concret e t hings. "Civilizat ion is a st ream wit h banks, " wrot e Will Durant , working bot h ends of t he ladder. "The st ream is somet imes f illed wit h bl ood f rom people killing, st ealing, shout ing, and doing t he t hings hist orians usually record, whil e on t he banks, unnot iced, people build homes, make l ove, raise children, sing songs, writ e poet ry, and even whit t le st at ues. The st ory of civilizat ion is t he st ory of what happened on t he banks. Hist orians are pessimist s because t hey ignore t he banks f or t he river. "
Workshop:
2. Find some st ories about bureaucracy or public policy t hat seem st uck in t he middle of t he ladder of abst ract ion. What kind of report ing woul d be necessary t o climb down or up, t o hel p t he reader see and underst and?
3. List en t o song lyrics t o hear how t he language moves on t he ladder of abst ract ion. "Freedom's j ust anot her word f or not hin' lef t t o lose. " Or "War, what is it good f or? Absolut ely not hin'. " Or, "I like big but t s and I cannot lie . . . " Not ice how concret e words and images are used in music t o express abst ract ions such as love, hope, lust , and f ear.
4. Read several st ories you have writ t en and t ry t o describe, in t hree words or less, what each st ory is "really about . " Is it about f riendship, loss, legacy, bet rayal ? Are t here ways t o make such meanings clearer t o t he reader?
W ritin g To o l # 14 : In te re s tin g N a m e s
Remember that writers are, by training and disposition, attracted to people and places with interesting names. f amiliar t hey become part of our cult ural imaginat ion: Rip Van Winkle, Ichabod Crane, Hest er Prynne, Capt ain Ahab, Ishmael, Huckleberry Finn, Holden Caulf ield.
Sport s and ent ert ainment provide an inexhaust ible well of int erest ing names: Babe Rut h, Jackie Robinson, Mickey Mant le, Zola Budd, Johnny Unit as, Joe Mont ana, Shaquille O'Neal, Spike Lee, Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley. news. The best report ers recognize and t ake advant age of coincidence bet ween name and circumst ance.
A st ory in The Bal t i mor e Sun revealed t he sad det ails of a woman whose devot ion t o her man led t o t he deat hs of her t wo young daught ers. The mot her was Sierra Swann, who, in spit e of a lyrical name evoking nat ural beaut y, came apart in a grim environment , "where heroin and cocaine are available curbside beneat h t he blank st ares of boarded-up windows. " The writ er t raced her downf all, not t o drugs, but t o an "addict ion t o t he companionship of Nat haniel Broadway. "
Sierra Swann. Nat haniel Broadway. A f ict ion writ er could not invent names more apt and int erest ing.
I opened my phone book at random and discovered t hese names on t wo consecut ive pages:
• Hollis Mallicoat • Ilir Mall kazi • Eva Malo • Mary Maloof • Joe Mal pigli • John Mamagona • Lakmika Manawadu • Khai Mang
• Rudolph Mango • Ludwig Mangold
Names somet imes provide a kind of backst ory, suggest ing hist ory, et hnicit y, generat ion, and charact er. (The brilliant and pl ayf ul American t heologian Mart in Mart y ref ers t o himself as "Mart y Mart y. ")
The writ er's int erest in names of t en ext ends beyond person and pl ace t o t hings. Roald Dahl, who would gain f ame f rom writ ing t he novel "Charlie and t he Chocolat e Fact ory, " remembers his childhood in sweet shops craving such delight s as "Bull 's-Eyes and Ol d Fashioned Humbugs and St rawberry Bonbons and Glacier Mint s and Acid Drops and Pear Drops and Lemon Drops . . . My own f avourit es were Sherbet Suckers and Liquorice Boot laces. " Not t o ment ion t he "Gobst oppers" and "Tonsil Ticklers. "
It 's hard t o t hink of a writ er wit h more int erest in names t han Vladimir Nabokov. Perhaps because he wrot e in bot h Russian and English — and had a scient if ic int erest in but t erf lies — Nabakov dissect s words and images, looking f or t he deeper levels of meaning. His great est ant i-hero, Humbert Humbert , begins t he narrat ion of "Lolit a" wit h t his memorable paragraph:
Lolit a, light of my l if e, f ire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-t a: t he t ip of t he t ongue t aking a t rip of t hree st eps down t he palat e t o t ap, at t hree, on t he t eet h. Lo. Lee. Ta.
She was Lo, plain Lo, in t he morning, st anding f our f eet t en in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Doll y at school . She was Dol ores on t he dot t ed line. But in my arms she was always Lol it a.
In t his great and scandal ous novel, Nabokov incl udes an alphabet ical list ing of Lolit a's classmat es, beginning wit h Grace Angel and concluding wit h Louise Windmuller. The novel becomes a virt ual gazet t eer of American place names, f rom t he way we name our mot els: "All t hose Sunset Mot els, U-Beam Cot t ages, Hillcrest Court s, Pine View Court s, Mount ain View Court s, Skyl ine Court s, Park Plaza Court s, Green Acres, Mac's Court s" t o t he f unny names at t ached t o roadside t oilet s: "Guys-Gals, John-Jane, Jack-Jill, and even Bucks-Does. "
What 's in a name? For t he at t ent ive writ er, and t he eager reader, t he answer can be f un, insight , charm, aura, charact er, ident it y, psychosis, f ulf ill ment , inherit ance, decorum, indiscret ion, and possession. For in some cult ures, if I know and can speak your name, I own your soul . Rumpelst ilt skin.
1.
In t he Judeo-Christ ian st ory of Creat ion, God grant s mankind a special power over ot her creat ures: "When t he Lord God f ormed out of t he ground al l t he beast s of t he f ield and t he birds of t he air, he brought t hem t o t he man t o see what he would call t hem, f or t hat which man called each of t hem, t hat woul d be it s name. " Have a conversat ion about t he larger rel igious and cult ural implicat ions of naming, including ceremonies of naming such as birt hing, bapt ism, conversion, and marriage. Don't f orget nicknames and st reet names and pen names. What are t he pract ical implicat ions f or writ ers?2. J. K. Rowling is t he enormousl y popular aut hor of t he Harry Pot t er series. Among her many gif t s as a writ er is her apt it ude f or naming. Think of her heroes, Albus
Dumbledore or Sirius Black or Hermione Granger. And her villains, Draco Malf oy and his henchmen Crabbe and Goyle. Read one of t he Harry Pot t er novels, paying special at t ent ion t o t he aut hor's great imaginat ive universe of names.
3. In a daybook or j ournal , begin t o keep a record of int erest ing charact er names and place names relat ed t o your communit y.
W ritin g To o l # 15 : Re ve a l Ch a ra cte r Tra its
Reveal character traits to the reader through scenes, det ails, and dialogue.
I once read a st ory in USA Today about a young t eenage surf er in Hawaii who lost her arm in a shark at t ack. The piece, by Jill Lieber, began t his way:
Bet hany Hamilt on has always been a compassionat e child. But since t he 14-year-ol d Hawaiian surf ing sensat ion lost her lef t arm in a shark at t ack on Hall oween, her compassion has
deepened.
The key words in t his lead are "compassionat e" and "compassion. " Writ ers of t en t urn
abst ract ions int o adj ect ives t o def ine charact er. One writ er t ells us t hat t he shopkeeper was "ent husiast ic, " or t hat t he lawyer was "passionat e" in his closing argument , or t hat t he school girls were "popular. " Some adj ect ives — such as "ashen, " "bl ond, " or "winged" — hel p us see. But adj ect ives such as "ent husiast ic" are reall y abst ract nouns in disguise.
Though adj ect ives such as "popular" and "compassionat e" convey a general meaning, t hey become almost useless in describing people. The reader who encount ers t hem screams out silent ly f or examples, f or evidence. Don't j ust t el l me, Ms. Writ er, t hat Super Surf er Girl is compassionat e. Show me. And she does:
The writ er describes how f rom her hospit al bed, Bet hany Hamilt on "t earf ully insist ed" t hat t he 1, 500-pound t iger shark t hat at t acked her "not be harmed. " Lat er t he girl meet s wit h a blind psychol ogist and of f ers him t he charit able donat ions she is receiving "t o f und an operat ion t o rest ore his sight . "
And in December, Hamil t on t ouched more heart s when, on a media t our of New York Cit y, she suddenly removed her ski j acket and gave it t o a homeless girl sit t ing on a subway grat e in Times Square. Wearing only a t ank t op, Hamilt on t hen canceled a shopping spree, saying she already had t oo many t hings.
Now I see. That girl real ly i s compassionat e.
The best writ ers creat e moving pict ures of people t hat reveal t heir charact erist ics and aspirat ions, t heir hopes and f ears. Writ ing f or
The New Yor k Ti mes, Isabel Wilkerson describes a mot her in
desperat e f ear f or t he saf et y of her children, but avoids adj ect ives such as "desperat e" and "f earf ul . " Inst ead she shows us a woman preparing her children f or school:
Then she sprays t hem. She shakes an aerosol can and sprays t heir
By re-creat ing t his moment , Wilkerson leads us int o t he worl d of t his st ruggling f amily, of f ering us t he opport unit y f or empat hy. The scenic evidence is support ed by t he spoken words of t he children:
These are t he rules f or Angela Whit iker's children, recount ed at t he Formica-t op dining room t able:
"Don't st op of f playing, " Willie said.
"When your hear shoot ing, don't st and around — run, " Nichol as said. "Because a bullet don't have no eyes, " t he t wo boys shout ed.
"She pray f or us every day, " Will ie said.
Writ ing f or t he Mai ne Sunday Tel egr am, Barbara Walsh int roduces us t o a group of girls f acing t he social pressures of middle school . The st ory begins at a school dance in a gym t hat "smell s of peach and wat ermel on perf ume, cheap af t ershave, cinnamon Tic Tacs, bubble gum. " Groups of girls dance in t ight circles, adj ust ing t heir hair and moving t o t he music.
"I loooove t his song, " Robin says.
Robin point s t o a large group of 20 boys and girls clust ered near t he DJ.
"Theeeey are t he populars, and we're nooot , " she shout s over t he music.
"We're t he middle group, " Erin adds. "You've j ust got t o f orm your own group and dance. "
"But if you dance wit h someone t hat isn't t oo popular, it 's not cool, " Robin says. "You l ose point s, " she adds t hrust ing her t humbs down.
My colleague Chip Scanl an might ask, "What is t his st ory really about ?" The words I choose lead me up t he ladder of abst ract ion: Adolescence. Self -consciousness. Peer-pressure. Social st at us. Anxiet y. Self -expression. Group-t hink. How much bet t er f or us as readers t o see and hear t hese t rut hs t hrough t he act ions of t hese int erest ing young women, wit h t heir aut hent ic adolescent vowel sounds, t han f rom t he pursed lips of j aded sociol ogist s.
Workshop:
1. Some writ ers t alk about report ing a st ory unt il t hey come away wit h a dominant
impression, somet hing t hey can express in a single sent ence: "The mot her of t he cheerleader is overbearing and cont rolling. " They may never writ e t hat sent ence in t he st ory. Inst ead, t hey review and t ry t o re-creat e f or t he reader t he evidence t hat led t hem t o t his conclusion. Try out t his met hod on some of your st ories.
2. List en caref ully t o st ories report ed and writ t en f or Nat ional Publ ic Radio. Pay special at t ent ion t o t he voices of st ory subj ect s and sources. What charact er t rait s do t hey reveal in t heir speech? How would you render t hat speech in a print st ory?
