A Critical Discourse Analysis of Female Sexuality Articles in Women Magazines Chapter III V

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CHAPTER III

RESEARCH METHODOLOGY

3.1 Research Design

Qualitative content analysis method is used in this research. It is also

defined as an approach of empirical, methodological controlled analysis of texts

within their context of communication, following content analytic rules and step

by step models without rash qualification (Mayring, 2000).

Bodgan and Biklen (1992:30) states that qualitative research is

descriptive which means the data collected are in form of words or pictures rather

than numbers. And explanative means words describe and explain. Besides that,

words suggest new perspectives, and conclusion expressed as words seem more

convincing than page of numbers. The object of qualitative content analysis can

be all sort of recorded communication materials analyzed can be textbooks,

newspaper, web pages, transcripts of interviews, speeches, television programs,

advertisement, musical compositions or other type documents.

3.2 Data and Sources of Data

3.2.1 Data

The data of the study were the sentences, phrases, clauses and words

from the female sexuality‟s articles in women‟s magazine which were from

Cosmopolitan and Glamour magazines. The sentences in the articles included

analysis of text (i.e. vocabulary, grammar, cohesion and text structure). Then

included analysis of discursive practice (i.e. force of utterances, coherence of

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3.2.2 Sources of Data

The Sources of data of this study are Women‟s Magazines, they are

Cosmopolitan magazine and Glamour magazine. Purposive sampling had been

chosen ome topics of female sexuality‟s articles in these magazines because there are so many topics. Data 1, from Glamour Magazine No.108 April 2016, page 66,

the title of article “Sex Train your Brain”. Then, data 2, from Cosmopolitan

magazine September 2008, page 60, the title of the article “How your Sex Fantasies can Give You better Orgasms”. And the last, data 3, from Cosmopolitan

magazine April 2012, page 89, the title of the article “Solve His Sex Woes”. 3.3 Technique for Collecting Data

In this research, through analysing content, the technique for collecting the

data are following :

1. Reading all of the articles of female sexuality in the women magazines,

the articles from Cosmopolitan magazines and Glamour magazines. The

first article from Glamour Magazine No.108 April 2016, page 66, the title

of article “Sex Train your Brain”. Then, from Cosmopolitan magazine September 2008, page 60, the title of the article “How your Sex Fantasies can Give You better Orgasms”. And the last, from Cosmopolitan

magazine April 2012, page 89, the title of the article “Solve His Sex Woes”.

2. Describing the analysis of text from the female sexuality articles in these

women magazines. The analysis of text based on Fairclough (1992) has

been classified into four parts, there are vocabulary, grammar, cohesion

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3. Describing the analysis of discursive practice from the female sexuality

articles in these women magazines. The analysis of discursive practice

based on Fairclough (1992) has been classified into three parts, there are

force of utterances, coherence of texts, and intertextuality of texts.

4. Identifying the ideology that found from the whole articles in these

women magazines.

3.4 Technique of Data Analysis

The technique of data analysis in this research is focused on four

characteristics, according to Miles, Huberman and Saldana (2014), visualization:

1. Data Collection, means this research begins with the steps of collecting

data then analyze the problem. The steps of collecting data by reading,

describing and identifying the female sexuality articles based on

Fairclough‟s theory.

2. Data Condensation refers to the process of selecting, focusing,

simplifying, abstracting and/or transforming the data that appear in the

full corpus (body) of written-up field notes, interview transcript,

documents, and other empirical materials. Data condensation means the Data

Collection

Data Condensati

on

Data Display

Conclusion: Drawing/verify

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whole data on source data are condensed. In this research, the source of

data are Cosmopolitan magazine and Glamour magazine that are

condensed into female sexuality articles that contain in these women

magazines.

a. Selecting the data, the data was all the sentences, words, phrases

and clauses that refer to female sexuality articles in women

magazines. And these articles correlated into analysis of text (i.e.

vocabulary, grammar, cohesion, and text structure), analysis of

discursive practice (i.e. force of utterances, coherence of texts and

intertextuality of texts) then ideology.

b. Focusing the data, the data was focused on the female sexuality

articles from women magazines, there are from Cosmopolitan

magazine and Glamour magazine.

c. Simplifying the data, the data had been separated into several

selected articles in the women magazines, then had been noted kind

of indicators that include from the data analysis into theory.

d. Abstracting the data, the data had been analyzed using Fairclough‟s theory. The analysis theories were analysis of text, analysis of

discursive practice and the ideology that found in the female

sexuality articles in women magazines.

e. Transforming the data, the data has been transform into tables and

analysis by using Fairclough‟s theory.

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Generically, a display is an organized, compressed assembly of

information that allows conclusion drawing and action. The process of

read, analyze, had been selected through female sexuality articles that

contain the data for analysis.

4. Drawing and Verifying Conclusions

From the start of data collection, the qualitative analyst interprets what

things mean by noting patterns, explanations, causal flows, and

propositions. From the female sexuality articles in these women

magazines, the analysis of text and analysis of discursive practice will

be found based on fairclough‟s theory from his book Discourse and

Social Change (1992), then had been discussed what ideology that

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CHAPTER IV

DATA ANALYSIS AND FINDINGS

4.1 Data Analysis

In this research, the data which were sentences, phrases, clauses and words

from the female sexuality‟s articles in women‟s magazine which were from

Cosmopolitan and Glamour magazines. The sentences in the articles included

analysis of text (i.e. vocabulary, grammar, cohesion and text structure). Then

included analysis of discursive practice (i.e. force of utterances, coherence of

texts, and intertextuality of text), and the last, ideology view.

Data 1, from Glamour Magazine No.108 April 2016, page 66, the title of article

“Sex Train your Brain”. Then, data 2, from Cosmopolitan magazine September 2008, page 60, the title of the article “How your Sex Fantasies can Give You better Orgasms”. And the last, data 3, from Cosmopolitan magazine April 2012, page 89, the title of the article “Solve His Sex Woes”.

4.1.1 Analysis of Text in Female Sexuality Articles

4.1.1.1 Vocabulary

In data 1 from Glamour Magazine No.108 April 2016, page 66, the title of article “Sex Train your Brain”, it had been analyze as follows :

Think sex, think genitals.

This sentence above contains both wording of meaning and metaphors.

Whereas, „wording of meaning‟ means this sentence is kind of interpretative

perspective to contrast the way think sex are worded into think genitals that

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this sentence means explicit. Explicit in this case showed that the using of vulgar

words, such as sex and genitals. These words related into sex behaviour.

But new research has located the source of sexual pleasure and

frustration about three feet higher, in our minds.

This sentence above contains literary meaning (whereas the exact meaning in

denotative way). The whole sentence talked about new research of sexual

pleasure.

“Throughout the day we continually train our minds to be in multiple places at once. But sex requires full brain-body communication. Distractions from the room, or within oneself, pull our attention away – and if the mind is elsewhere, response is hampered,” says psychologist Dr Lori Brotto, who runs the UBC Sexual Health Laboratory, studying the mind‟s impact on arousal.

denotative way). It talks about how sex train minds.

Her findings? It is possible to keep your brain and bits orgasmically

aligned.

This sentence contains literary meaning (whereas the exact meaning in

denotative way). It talks about possibility to keep brain orgasmically.

Wondering what yoga and sex have in common, besides bendy legwork? Well, like reaching Dancer Pose, reaching orgasm is easier when

you’re 100 % present-moment focused – aka being mindful. In a study

of women seeking treatment for low desire, Dr Brotto found just four sessions of mindfulness meditation -improved arousal, because it stops mid-act self-judgement.

denotative way). It talks about sex poses and orgasm activity.

“When a person focuses attention on the sensations unfolding in the

moment, they don‟t evaluate them, over think them or worry about

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breath (in, out, in), or ask yourself, „what do I feel?‟“Root your focus in physical sensations: your partner‟s breathing, the moving sounds of bodies moving.”

This sentence above contains metaphor (in this case means explicit meaning or

vulgarism). It talks about sensation moment of sex.

No matter what great things are happening down below, eroticism can get trumped by urgency: Am I close? Will it happen? “Setting up

orgasm as a goal is a sure way to make certain you don‟t have one,”

says Dr Vivienne Cass, author of The Elusive Orgasm.

vulgarism). It talks about how orgasm works.

“The Minute you start tensing yourself to work at it, you‟ll be distracted. The closer you get, the stronger the anxiety and the more likely you are to switch off sexual feelings.”

vulgarism). It talks about how sexual feeling got minds.

If you catch yourself on the impatience express, Dr Cass recommend repeating, „It‟s good for me to simply enjoy what‟s happening‟, to stop other thoughts.

denotative way). It talks about to focus on what‟s happening on sex activity.

If „must‟ or „have to‟ enter your internal dialogue, question, „Is there

real pressure on me to orgasm - or is it imagine?‟ Lifting that weight

could get you there.

vulgarism). It talks about orgasm view.

Sometimes the solution to a wandering mind isn‟t reining it in, but letting it run wild. “Fantasy isn’t mindfulness, but it can keep your mind ‘on

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denotative way). It talks about fantasy of sex.

It‟s about moving your mind to another place – an image, memory or story – and it can boost sexual response ,” say Dr Brotto. Narrate what your partner‟s doing to you – the more you flesh out immerse yourself in it.

denotative way). It talks about sexual responses.

In data 2 from Cosmopolitan magazine September 2008, page 60 the title of the article “How your Sex fantasies can give you better orgasms”.

So there you are, naked, spread out on silk sheets, candles all around, David Beckham straddling you with a glint in his eye as he slowly licks melted ice cream off your...Oops, sorry, where were we? Oh yes, sex fantasies.

vulgarism).

It‟s safe to say we all have them. Some are fun, some are dirty and others are so shamefully weird (how did your boyfriend‟s dad get into your head?) that you‟d never dare share them with anyone. But whatever floats your fantasy boat, forget being ashamed – research shows that fantasisers have more sex, better sex and incredible orgasm.

vulgarism).

“Sexual fantasy fuels desire, and desire makes the body really want sex,” explains sexual psychotherapist Jane Ridley.

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“Because desire is psychological, thinking about sex before having it enhances the experience.”

vulgarism).

Sexologist Yvonne Fulbright agrees, adding, “Steamy thoughts create a constant flow of the feel-good hormone dopamine, which keeps you hornier for longer!” And fantasies don‟t just make you hotter – they also improve orgasms by making you think about nothing but sex.

vulgarism).

Sexual psychotherapist Margot Huish explains: “Unconscious worries can make it hard to come, and fantasies link mind to body, therefore bridging the gap in your „sexual circuit‟.

vulgarism).

Many women find fantasies will tip them over the edge to orgasm.” There you have it – bigger, better orgasms are only a daydream away. Here we reveal the low-down on what‟s normal, what‟s not and how yours can get you and him hot!

vulgarism).

There are some fundamental differences between male and female sexual hard-wiring. “Men fantasise twice as much as women,” says Allan Pease, author Why Men Don‟t Listen And Women Can‟t Read Maps.

denotative way).

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aspects of love-making and will think about an ex or someone they know.” (More about the troublesome ex later.)

denotative way).

Whatever your fantasy, it‟s reassuring to know you‟re not the only woman out there wanting to be tied up and ravished. And wanting rough sex or sex with a stranger in fantasy-land doesn‟t mean you necessarily want it to play out in real life – just as him asking you to dress up as a schoolgirl doesn‟t make him a paedophile.

vulgarism).

Wendy Maltz, author of Private Thoughts, Exploring The Power of Women‟s Sexual Fantasies, says sexy thoughts are like dreams and are only symbols of our emotional and sexual needs.

This sentence above contains metaphor (in this case means explicit

meaning or vulgarism).

“Sexual fantasies allow you to explore scenarios that turn you on but without the „what-if‟ worry if you actually tried them,” she explains. “We often fantasise about things that are very different to who we are, so if his – or you – fantasy surprises you (in a bad way), don‟t think a nasty, hidden side has been revealed,” she reassures.That‟s why understanding your fantasies is key to improving your sex life. After all, they‟re a risk -free way to experiment with something you‟re considering trying in bed.

vulgarism).

In data 3 from Cosmopolitan magazine April 2012, page 89 the title of the article

“Solve His Sex Woes”.

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This sentence above contains interpretative perspective.

And contrary to the rules of kiss chase, it‟s NOT the boys‟ job to do all the running, then kissing. Let him take half of the responsibility, then take the rest yourself - you may enjoy being in charge.

When it comes to our orgasm, men want an instruction manual.

vulgarism).

And who can blame them? Clitoral, vaginal, internal, multiple, A-spots, G-spots, U-spots... It can get very confusing. But don‟t expect him to be a mind reader- tell him what you like and gently guide him to the right spots.

vulgarism).

His cavemen ancestors didn‟t consider the social implications of bending their women over a rock for a quickie without a by-your-leave.

denotative way).

These days, civilised men often torture themselves for even imagining it but fantasy power play isn‟t even on the same planet as actually having sex without permission.

So if you‟re in the mood for him to get prehistoric, let him know about it by sharing your submission fantasies.

denotative way).

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Penises react to anxiety by not getting hard, by ejaculating too fast of by refusing to finish at all.

vulgarism).

Meanwhile, their owners are embarrassed, which increases anxiety – and the problem. You can help by easing the pressure. Don‟t show you‟re frustrated if he can‟t perform to perfection every time.

denotative way).

Men often complain about women‟s lack of sexual appetite. They wish we were more like them – happy to have foreplay-free quickies every night, again in the morning, and, often, porn-like sex after the football.

vulgarism).

There‟s nothing you can do about this one – if he wants blokey sex, he can get a boyfriend. But if he does make an effort to really satisfy you, pay it back in kind.

This sentence contains metaphor (in this case means explicit meaning or

vulgarism).

4.1.1.2 Grammar

Think sex, think genitals.

This sentence above contains transivity (process as verb). The word “think” is mental process.

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This sentence above contains transivity. There is a passive form.

“Throughout the day we continually train our minds to be in multiple places at once. But sex requires full brain-body communication. Distractions from the room, or within oneself, pull our attention away – and if the mind is elsewhere, response is hampered,” says psychologist Dr Lori Brotto, who runs the UBC Sexual Health Laboratory, studying the mind‟s impact on arousal.

This sentence above contains transivity (process as verb). there is a material

process.

Her findings? It is possible to keep your brain and bits orgasmically aligned.

This sentence above contains transivity (process as verb). There is a mental

process.

Wondering what yoga and sex have in common, besides bendy legwork? Well, like reaching Dancer Pose, reaching orgasm is easier when you‟re 100 % present-moment focused – aka being mindful. In a study of women seeking treatment for low desire, Dr Brotto found just four sessions of mindfulness meditation -improved arousal, because it stops mid-act self-judgement.

This sentence above contains theme, means there is a discernible pattern.

“When a person focuses attention on the sensations unfolding in the moment, they don‟t evaluate them, over think them or worry about them,” she adds. How to do it? The most basic method is to follow your breath

process.

No matter what great things are happening down below, eroticism can

get trumped by urgency: Am I close? Will it happen? “Setting up

orgasm as a goal is a sure way to make certain you don‟t have one,” says Dr Vivienne Cass, author of The Elusive Orgasm.

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“The Minute you start tensing yourself to work at it, you’ll be distracted. The closer you get, the stronger the anxiety and the more likely you are to switch off sexual feelings.”

This sentence above contains modality (using modals).

If you catch yourself on the impatience Express, Dr Cass recommend repeating, „It’s good for me to simply enjoy what’s happening‟, to stop other thoughts.

This sentence above contains transivity (process as verb). There are mental

process and material process can be seen.

If „must‟ or „have to‟ enter your internal dialogue, question, „Is there real pressure on me to orgasm - or is it imagine?‟ Lifting that weight could get

you there.

process.

Sometimes the solution to a wandering mind isn‟t reining it in, but letting it run wild. “Fantasy isn‟t mindfulness, but it can keep your mind „on topic‟.

process.

It’s about moving your mind to another place – an image, memory or

story – and it can boost sexual response ,” say Dr Brotto. Narrate what your partner‟s doing to you – the more you flesh out immerse yourself in it.

process.

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melted ice cream off your...Oops, sorry, where were we? Oh yes, sex fantasies.

This sentence above contains theme, means there is a discernible pattern can be

seen.

It‟s safe to say we all have them. Some are fun, some are dirty and others are so shamefully weird (how did your boyfriend‟s dad get into your head?) that you‟d never dare share them with anyone. But whatever floats your fantasy boat, forget being ashamed – research shows that fantasisers have more sex, better sex and incredible orgasm.

seen.

process.

Sexologist Yvonne Fulbright agrees, adding, “Steamy thoughts create a constant flow of the feel-good hormone dopamine, which keeps you hornier for longer!” And fantasies don‟t just make you hotter – they also improve orgasms by making you think about nothing but sex.

seen.

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This above sentence contains modality (using modals).

Many women find fantasies will tip them over the edge to orgasm.” There you have it – bigger, better orgasms are only a daydream away. Here we reveal the low-down on what‟s normal, what‟s not and how yours can get you and him hot!

There are some fundamental differences between male and female sexual hard-wiring. “Men fantasise twice as much as women,” says Allan Pease, author Why Men Don‟t Listen And Women Can‟t Read Maps.

process.

No surprises there then. “But while 81 % of men use visual images, like sex involving willing strangers, 43 % of women prefer the emotional aspects of love-making and will think about an ex or someone they know.” (More about the troublesome ex later.)

process.

Whatever your fantasy, it‟s reassuring to know you‟re not the only woman out there wanting to be tied up and ravished. And wanting rough sex or sex with a stranger in fantasy-land doesn‟t mean you necessarily want it to play out in real life – just as him asking you to dress up as a schoolgirl doesn‟t make him a paedophile.

seen.

Wendy Maltz, author of Private Thoughts, Exploring The Power of Women‟s Sexual Fantasies, says sexy thoughts are like dreams and are only symbols of our emotional and sexual needs.

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“Sexual fantasies allow you to explore scenarios that turn you on but without the „what-if‟ worry if you actually tried them,” she explains. “We often fantasise about things that are very different to who we are, so if his – or you – fantasy surprises you (in a bad way), don‟t think a nasty, hidden side has been revealed,” she reassures. That‟s why understanding your fantasies is key to improving your sex life. After all, they‟re a risk-free way to experiment with something you‟re considering trying in bed.

process.

In Data 3 from Cosmopolitan magazine April 2012, page 89 the title of the article

Lots of men want you to take the lead so they needn‟t worry about making you happy.

This sentence above contains transivity (process as verb).

And contrary to the rules of kiss chase, it‟s NOT the boys‟ job to do all the running, then kissing. Let him take half of the responsibility, then take the rest yourself - you may enjoy being in charge.

seen.

And who can blame them? Clitoral, vaginal, internal, multiple, A-spots, G-spots, U-spots... It can get very confusing. But don‟t expect him to be a mind reader- tell him what you like and gently guide him to the right spots.

His cavemen ancestors didn‟t consider the social implications of bending their women over a rock for a quickie without a by-your-leave.

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These days, civilised men often torture themselves for even imagining it but fantasy power play isn‟t even on the same planet as actually having sex without permission.

So if you‟re in the mood for him to get prehistoric, let him know about it by sharing your submission fantasies.

seen.

Men fear they won‟t meet our expectations, and for some the fear directly affects their ability to perform normally, or even at all.

Penises react to anxiety by not getting hard, by ejaculating too fast of by refusing to finish at all.

Meanwhile, their owners are embarrassed, which increases anxiety – and the problem. You can help by easing the pressure. Don‟t show you‟re frustrated if he can‟t perform to perfection every time.

seen.

There‟s nothing you can do about this one – if he wants blokey sex, he can get a boyfriend. But if he does make an effort to really satisfy you, pay it back in kind.

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Think sex, think genitals.

This sentence above contains text structure. There is a element of words that

constituted.

But new research has located the source of sexual pleasure and frustration about three feet higher, in our minds.

This sentence above contains cohesion. There is a linkage of sentence, through

conjunctive and semantic field.

“Throughout the day we continually train our minds to be in multiple places at once. But sex requires full brain-body communication. Distractions from the room, or within oneself, pull our attention away – and if the mind is elsewhere, response is hampered,” says psychologist Dr Lori Brotto, who runs the UBC Sexual Health Laboratory, studying the mind‟s impact on on arousal.

This sentence above contains both cohesion and text structure. There are a

linkage of sentence, through conjunctive and semantic field then a element of

words that constituted.

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It‟s safe to say we all have them. Some are fun, some are dirty and others are so shamefully weird (how did your boyfriend‟s dad get into your head?) that you‟d never dare share them with anyone. But whatever floats your fantasy boat, forget being ashamed – research shows that fantasisers have more sex, better sex and incredible orgasm.

Sexologist Yvonne Fulbright agrees, adding, “Steamy thoughts create a constant flow of the feel-good hormone dopamine, which keeps you hornier for longer!” And fantasies don‟t just make you hotter – they also improve orgasms by making you think about nothing but sex.

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Sexual psychotherapist Margot Huish explains: “Unconscious worries can make it hard to come, and fantasies link mind to body, therefore bridging the gap in your „sexual circuit‟.

No surprises there then. “But while 81 % of men use visual images, like sex involving willing strangers, 43 % of women prefer the emotional aspects of love-making and will think about an ex or someone they know.” (More about the troublesome ex later.)

Whatever your fantasy, it‟s reassuring to know you‟re not the only woman out there wanting to be tied up and ravished. And wanting rough sex or sex with a stranger in fantasy-land doesn‟t mean you necessarily want it to play out in real life – just as him asking you to dress up as a schoolgirl doesn‟t make him a paedophile.

Wendy Maltz, author of Private Thoughts, Exploring The Power of Women‟s Sexual Fantasies, says sexy thoughts are like dreams and are only symbols of our emotional and sexual needs.

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It‟s difficult enough for you to understand what your fantasy might mean, let alone what he‟ll make of it, so sharing can open up a can of worms, even in the strongest of the relationships.

And how might you feel if his fantasy actually knocks your confidence? Knowing he fantasises about Cheryl Cole while he‟s waiting for the bus is one thing; being told he‟s thinking about her while he‟s having sex with you is another.

“The trick is to mix fantasy with reality (stick on that Girls Aloud CD!), so eventually he‟s turned on with you in the scenario instead,” says Margot. But if the fantasy woman becomes more important than your needs, or if he asks you to cut your hair like hers, put your foot down.

Dr Chris Fariello, director of the Institute for Sex Therapy in Philadelphia, USA, warns that, “If your boyfriend has graphic, porn -based fantasies, he‟ll become used to this as his turn-on, and if he shares this need with you, he may turn you off.” Do you really want to know he‟s thinking of hard-core porn while he‟s doing the deed with you?

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But what happens when your fantasies (yours: a sexy foreign stranger on a secluded beach; his: you as a hot cowgirl in chaps) don‟t match up? It can lead to problems within the relationship, warns Chris.

“Fantasies come from our creative imagination and often represent things we are curious about but wouldn‟t actually do,” says Wendy. “It‟s because they appear in a „sexual‟ context that we get worried.”

Similarly, fantasising about an ex doesn‟t necessarily mean you secretly want him back. Usually, exes come up because we have graphic memories of them and our brain tends to access these. But, as long as you use the stimulation for your current partner, it‟s no problem. Just don‟t tell him!

Lots of men want you to take the lead so they needn‟t worry about making you happy.

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And contrary to the rules of kiss chase, it‟s NOT the boys‟ job to do all the running, then kissing. Let him take half of the responsibility, then take the rest yourself - you may enjoy being in charge.

And who can blame them? Clitoral, vaginal, internal, multiple, A-spots, G-spots, U-spots... It can get very confusing. But don‟t expect him to be a mind reader- tell him what you like and gently guide him to the right spots.

So if you‟re in the mood for him to get prehistoric, let him know about it by sharing your submission fantasies.

There‟s nothing you can do about this one – if he wants blokey sex, he can get a boyfriend. But if he does make an effort to really satisfy you, pay it back in kind.

4.1.1.4 Text Structure

In data 1 from Glamour Magazine No.108 April 2016, page 66, the title of article

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Her findings? It is possible to keep your brain and bits orgasmically aligned.

constituted.

This sentence above contains both cohesion and text structure. There are a

linkage of sentence, through conjunctive and semantic field then a element of

words that constituted.

“When a person focuses attention on the sensations unfolding in the moment, they don‟t evaluate them, over think them or worry about them,” she adds. How to do it? The most basic method is to follow your breath (in, out, in), or ask yourself, „what do I feel?‟ “Root your focus in physical sensations: your partner‟s breathing, the moving sounds of bodies moving.”

constituted.

No matter what great things are happening down below, eroticism can get trumped by urgency: Am I close? Will it happen? “Setting up orgasm as a goal is a sure way to make certain you don‟t have one,” says Dr Vivienne Cass, author of The Elusive Orgasm.

constituted.

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constituted.

If you catch yourself on the impatience Express, Dr Cass recommend repeating, „It‟s good for me to simply enjoy what‟s happening‟, to stop other thoughts.

constituted.

If „must‟ or „have to‟ enter your internal dialogue, question, „Is there real pressure on me to orgasm - or is it imagine?‟ Lifting that weight could get you there.

constituted.

Sometimes the solution to a wandering mind isn‟t reining it in, but letting it run wild. “Fantasy isn‟t mindfulness, but it can keep your mind „on topic‟.

constituted.

It‟s about moving your mind to another place – an image, memory or story – and it can boost sexual response ,” say Dr Brotto. Narrate what your partner‟s doing to you – the more you flesh out immerse yourself in it.

constituted.

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constituted.

There are some fundamental differences between male and female sexual hard-wiring. “Men fantasise twice as much as women,” says Allan Pease, author Why Men Don‟t Listen And Women Can‟t Read Maps.

constituted.

“Sexual fantasies allow you to explore scenarios that turn you on but without the „what-if‟ worry if you actually tried them,” she explains. “We often fantasise about things that are very different to who we are, so if his – or you – fantasy surprises you (in a bad way), don‟t think a nasty, hidden side has been revealed,” she reassures. That‟s why understanding your fantasies is key to improving your sex life. After all, they‟re a risk -free way to experiment with something you‟re considering trying in bed.

constituted.

Fantasies can also help you emotionally, says Wendy. “If you‟ve had bad experiences in bed, you might suffer from sexual anxiety. By using fantasy, you can create empowering scenarios that help overcome arousal blips and boost your confidence.”

constituted

Sharing a fantasy about an ex or his best mate won‟t help set the bed sheets on fire. “Fantasies about men in your life, particularly an ex, are threatening to your partner,” warns Wendy. “They may worry him more than your fantasy about Brad Pitt, as he is „out of reach‟.”

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It‟s OK to mention just the „alfresco‟ bit of you fantasy scenario without scaring your partner with the bit about the bag of carrots! Just sharing part of a private fantasy, even verbally, can be titillating enough to make the ensuing sex raunchier. Chris suggests when sharing your fantasies that you both go into it with “no expectations and a sense of humour (but agree not to mock).”

constituted.

“Sometimes your individual fantasy can clash with reality,” he says. The best way to deal with conflicting fantasies is to get creative, as you can still satisfy each other‟s needs without playing out the scenario in full.

constituted.

“Look at the fantasy and try to mix in the key element (domination, dressing up, etc) into sex in a way that makes you both comfortable,” adds Michael.

constituted.

You‟re masturbating and ping, your bloke‟s dad suddenly pops into your head. Don‟t panic – just as domination fantasies don‟t necessarily mean you want to be forced into sex, dreams about sleeping with your boyfriend‟s dad shouldn‟t be taken literally either.

constituted.

If it still bothers you, Dr Daniel Amen, a brain study specialist, recommends using the „other-man scenario‟ – remember the hurt and anger too. This trains your brain to stop your ex being a turn – on and you‟ll generally find the fantasy eventually fades.

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constituted.

His cavemen ancestors didn‟t consider the social implications of bending their women over a rock for a quickie without a by-your-leave.

constituted.

These days, civilised men often torture themselves for even imagining it but fantasy power play isn‟t even on the same planet as actually having sex without permission.

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Men fear they won‟t meet our expectations, and for some the fear directly affects their ability to perform normally, or even at all.

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Penises react to anxiety by not getting hard, by ejaculating too fast of by refusing to finish at all.

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Meanwhile, their owners are embarrassed, which increases anxiety – and the problem. You can help by easing the pressure. Don‟t show you‟re frustrated if he can‟t perform to perfection every time.

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4.1.2 Analysis of Discursive Practice in Female Sexuality Articles 4.1.2.1 Force of Utterances

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But new research has located the source of sexual pleasure and frustration about three feet higher, in our minds.

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“Throughout the day we continually train our minds to be in multiple places at once. But sex requires full brain-body communication. Distractions from the room, or within oneself, pull our attention away – and if the mind is elsewhere, response is hampered,” says psychologist Dr Lori Brotto, who runs the UBC Sexual Health Laboratory, studying the mind‟s impact on arousal.

Wondering what yoga and sex have in common, besides bendy legwork? Well, like reaching Dancer Pose, reaching orgasm is easier when you‟re 100 % present-moment focused – aka being mindful. In a study of women seeking treatment for low desire, Dr Brotto found just four sessions of mindfulness meditation -improved arousal, because it stops mid-act self-judgement.

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No matter what great things are happening down below, eroticism can get trumped by urgency: Am I close? Will it happen? “Setting up orgasm as a goal is a sure way to make certain you don‟t have one,” says Dr Vivienne Cass, author of The Elusive Orgasm.

“The Minute you start tensing yourself to work at it, you‟ll be distracted. The closer you get, the stronger the anxiety and the more likely you are to switch off sexual feelings.”

If „must‟ or „have to‟ enter your internal dialogue, question, „Is there real pressure on me to orgasm - or is it imagine?‟ Lifting that weight could get you there.

Sometimes the solution to a wandering mind isn‟t reining it in, but letting it run wild. “Fantasy isn‟t mindfulness, but it can keep your mind „on topic‟

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It‟s about moving your mind to another place – an image, memory or story –and it can boost sexual response ,” say Dr Brotto. Narrate what your partner‟s doing to you – the more you flesh out immerse yourself in it.

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“The Minute you start tensing yourself to work at it, you‟ll be distracted. The closer you get, the stronger the anxiety and the more likely you are to switch off sexual feelings.”

It‟s safe to say we all have them. Some are fun, some are dirty and others are so shamefully weird (how did your boyfriend‟s dad get into your head?) that you‟d never dare share them with anyone. But whatever floats your fantasy boat, forget being ashamed – research shows that fantasisers have more sex, better sex and incredible orgasm.

“Sexual fantasy fuels desire, and desire makes the body really want sex,” explains sexual psychotherapist Jane Ridley.

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Many women find fantasies will tip them over the edge to orgasm.” There you have it – bigger, better orgasms are only a daydream away. Here we reveal the low-down on what‟s normal, what‟s not and how yours can get you and him hot!

There are some fundamental differences between male and female sexual hard-wiring. “Men fantasise twice as much as women,” says Allan Pease, author Why Men Don‟t Listen And Women Can‟t Read Maps.

No surprises there then. “But while 81 % of men use visual images, like sex involving willing strangers, 43 % of women prefer the emotional aspects of love-making and will think about an ex or someone they know.” (More about the troublesome ex later.)

Whatever your fantasy, it‟s reassuring to know you‟re not the only woman out there wanting to be tied up and ravished. And wanting rough sex or sex with a stranger in fantasy-land doesn‟t mean you necessarily want it to play out in real life – just as him asking you to dress up as a schoolgirl doesn‟t make him a paedophile.

Wendy Maltz, author of Private Thoughts, Exploring The Power of Women‟s Sexual Fantasies, says sexy thoughts are like dreams and are only symbols of our emotional and sexual needs.

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“Sexual fantasies allow you to explore scenarios that turn you on but without the „what-if‟ worry if you actually tried them,” she explains. “We often fantasise about things that are very different to who we are, so if his – or you –fantasy surprises you (in a bad way), don‟t think a nasty, hidden side has been revealed,” she reassures. That‟s why understanding your fantasies is key to improving your sex life. After all, they‟re a risk-free way to experiment with something you‟re considering trying in bed.

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Lots of men want you to take the lead so they needn‟t worry about making you happy.

And contrary to the rules of kiss chase, it‟s NOT the boys‟ job to do all the running, then kissing. Let him take half of the responsibility, then take the rest yourself - you may enjoy being in charge.

And who can blame them? Clitoral, vaginal, internal, multiple, A-spots, G-A-spots, U-spots... It can get very confusing. But don‟t expect him to be a mind reader- tell him what you like and gently guide him to the right spots.

His cavemen ancestors didn‟t consider the social implications of bending their women over a rock for a quickie without a by-your-leave.

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These days, civilised men often torture themselves for even imagining it but fantasy power play isn‟t even on the same planet as actually having sex without permission.

So if you‟re in the mood for him to get prehistoric, let him know about it by sharing your submission fantasies.

Men fear they won‟t meet our expectations, and for some the fear directly affects their ability to perform normally, or even at all.

Penises react to anxiety by not getting hard, by ejaculating too fast of by refusing to finish at all.

Meanwhile, their owners are embarrassed, which increases anxiety – and the problem. You can help by easing the pressure. Don‟t show you‟re frustrated if he can‟t perform to perfection every time.

Men often complain about women‟s lack of sexual appetite. They wish we were more like them – happy to have foreplay-free quickies every night, again in the morning, and, often, porn-like sex after the football.

There‟s nothing you can do about this one – if he wants blokey sex, he can get a boyfriend. But if he does make an effort to really satisfy you, pay it back in kind.

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“Throughout the day we continually train our minds to be in multiple places at once. But sex requires full brain-body communication. Distractions from the room, or within oneself, pull our attention away – and if the mind is elsewhere, response is hampered,” says psychologist Dr Lori Brotto, who runs the UBC Sexual Health Laboratory, studying the mind‟s impact on arousal.

Wondering what yoga and sex have in common, besides bendy legwork? Well, like reaching Dancer Pose, reaching orgasm is easier when you‟re 100 % present-moment focused – aka being mindful. In a study of women seeking treatment for low desire, Dr Brotto found just four sessions of mindfulness meditation -improved arousal, because it stops mid-act self-judgement.

“When a person focuses attention on the sensations unfolding in the moment, they don‟t evaluate them, over think them or worry about them,” she adds. How to do it? The most basic method is to follow your breath (in, out, in), or ask yourself, „what do I feel?‟ “Root your focus in physical sensations: your partner‟s breathing, the moving sounds of bodies moving.”

(38)

If „must‟ or „have to‟ enter your internal dialogue, question, „Is there real pressure on me to orgasm - or is it imagine?‟ Lifting that weight could get you there.

Sometimes the solution to a wandering mind isn‟t reining it in, but letting it run wild. “Fantasy isn‟t mindfulness, but it can keep your mind „on topic‟.

It‟s about moving your mind to another place – an image, memory or story – and it can boost sexual response ,” say Dr Brotto. Narrate what your partner‟s doing to you – the more you flesh out immerse yourself in it.

(39)

So there you are, naked, spread out on silk sheets, candles all around, David Beckham straddling you with a glint in his eye as he slowly licks melted ice cream off your...Oops, sorry, where were we? Oh yes, sex fantasies.

It‟s safe to say we all have them. Some are fun, some are dirty and others are so shamefully weird (how did your boyfriend‟s dad get into your head?) that you‟d never dare share them with anyone. But whatever floats your fantasy boat, forget being ashamed – research shows that fantasisers have more sex, better sex and incredible orgasm.

“Sexual fantasy fuels desire, and desire makes the body really want sex,” explains sexual psychotherapist Jane Ridley.

Sexologist Yvonne Fulbright agrees, adding, “Steamy thoughts create a constant flow of the feel-good hormone dopamine, which keeps you hornier for longer!” And fantasies don‟t just make you hotter – they also improve orgasms by making you think about nothing but sex.