Challenges exist for both the mentee and mentor, albeit each different in nature, in both intensity and consequences. In a professional or organisational relationship, professional practitioners, management and employees are hostages to the pre- vailing culture.
4.6.1 Challenges for the Mentee
Thefirst challenge lies in mustering the effort needed to make a full or even partial disclosure of privileged information to a third party. Even when a mentee confides
“all”, it is erroneous to assume full disclosure. Tacit (unspoken) knowledge, while recognised, may not be easily articulated by the mentee, regardless of their formal position elsewhere. The mentee may not fully appreciate that the mentor, if part of the same institution or profession, is also subject to this tacit knowledge and influenced by it. Mentors may not always fully acknowledge this either to the mentee or be aware of it themselves.
The second challenge is that under these conditions, opening up by the mentee, that is, sifting through the issues and seeing things for-what-they-are requires a regurgitation of the“facts”, which often tumble out in an opposite direction to what is intended by the mentee or expected by the mentor. This process, in particular, requires reflection, analysis and re-ordering of things to place them into perspective.
The mentor needs to be able to employ explanatory competence to identify and overcome communication breakdowns, and to gain and restore understanding through redressing gaps in verbal and contextual meaning. Interpretation is not a straightforward matter to unravel, and the logic of the mentee and mentor may be at odds.
The third challenge is that often mentees are concerned about the loss of face:
they need to appear strong and open as opposed to weak and secretive. This sense is heightened if the mentee is seeking promotion or referral within the institution or profession, acting as a force against disclosure.
The fourth challenge is the effort to overcome the strongly-held aversion to disclosing private information when it is governed not by law but rather by organisational norms. In this case, mentees are concerned about how this might appear in terms of professional or organisational loyalty and betrayal. The mentee cannot move forward while remaining loyal to the culture that bars them from revealing information that they need or feel should be spoken about.
4.6.2 Challenges for the Mentor
4.6.2.1 The Worldviews of the Mentor and Mentee
How does the mentor handle the difference between how they perceive the mentee’s world view when a mentee may not perceive it as particularly problematic? For example, a mentee may describe a situation at work and believe they are not contributing to the situation adversely. They may see everyone else as the“prob- lem”and distance themselves from it. Moreover, the discussion of any difference in perceptions about this situation may be difficult if a solid rapport has not been established between the mentor and mentee. Trust is essential for such a discussion to ensue and for it to be beneficial to the mentee. A mentee’s world view has been developed and ingrained over years of experience, and it is not easy to unravel.
A further difficulty for the mentor is that discussing a mentee’s possible negative contribution to situations might disrupt their self-image and cause them distress which may evoke frustration, anger or anxiety from them. The mentee may feel that the mentor is criticising them and deliberately distorting the situation rather than trying to guide the mentor to understand it and find a way to deal with it. Their normal reaction to criticism may be either verbal or nonverbal displays of hostility, negative mind-reading or self-blame.
Apart from trust, patience and skilful questioning is required to achieve the desired outcome. A mentor needs to listen and validate the mentee’s perceptions followed up byfinding a way to reframe the situation so that the mentee can begin to feel comfortable about questioning it.
4.6.2.2 Stereotyping
In mentoring, a mentor is confronted by impressions formed about the mentee and by the mentee such as snippets of stories or information they reveal. Both can lead the mentor consciously or unconsciously to stereotyping, characterising them in some way, leading to biased judgment that is erroneous. This can lead the mentor to cut off the mentee either by giving their assessment, not paying attention to what is being said and short-circuiting the mentoring process. It is important to use only relevant, appropriate evidence, avoid typecasting the issue or the mentee, and the people that the mentee is referring to.
4.6.2.3 Safe Learning for the Mentee
A further challenge for the mentor is to create and demonstrate a safe‘space’for the mentee to trust and open up to them. The crux of disclosing is that there is a tension for the mentee between the relative protection of“keeping quiet”(internal reality) and the feared consequences of revealing things as they see them (external reality).
The second part of this challenge is for the mentor then is to rebalance these realisms, attempting to integrate them where possible. In both cases, the mentoring relationship becomes a haven, and while restorative initially, it ultimately becomes an impediment if used as an ongoing crutch.
4.6.2.4 Cues to Elicit Trust
Ensuring the mentor is providing appropriate cues for eliciting trust and disclosure is also a challenge. This can be taxing for the mentor due to people’s inconsistent strategies for disclosure. A mentee’s“decision point” of whether or not to make information known is often based on their perception of situational cues at a given point in time (John et al.2009). The mentor, therefore, needs to remain vigilant in observing and managing cues with the mentee such as eye contact,fidgeting, and posture.
4.6.2.5 Dissolving a Mentor-Mentee Relationship
Finally overcoming the risk of the mentoring relationship becoming a permanent prop for the mentee needs to be dealt with.
4.6.2.6 Seeking Help Beyond the Mentor
It is important that mentors identify and observe their reactions to limit personal biases encroaching on their mentoring of the mentee. Furthermore, when mentors
are not able to resolve such conflicts on their own, they need to seek external advice from a peer or superior. These actions might not be possible for a mentor with blind spots. The crucial step to avoid these outcomes is to create a safe environment for mentees to confide any concerns with an appropriate third party.