CHAPTER 4: PRESENTATION OF FINDINGS 4.1 Introduction
4.2.3 Experiential theme: Resource availability: societal and environmental resources
migrant husbands. Migrant men rarely come home from work to visit their wives and if they do they do not satisfy their wives' sexual desires due to alcohol abuse and involvement with other women. This was a factor that was identified by the participants as contributing to their vulnerability to HIV infection, because when they do have sexual intercourse with their husbands, they do so without protection.
4.2.3 Experiential theme: Resource availability: societal and environmental
This income was not enough for them and so the women started getting involved in amashende relations for additional income. They also said that involvement in amashende relationships is aggravated by their lack of ownership of property.
For instance, even during a marriage proposal a man asks a woman to come and build umuzi kababa, the father's homestead. As the natural heir, the homestead automatically becomes his, despite the fact that they both built it. Thus participants verbalized their despair, "What can I do? Where else can I go?"
Seemingly women cannot even go back to their own homes as those homes belong to their brothers as heirs. About this issue, one participant said, "My brother's wife will not like me coming home" Participants further expressed that instead of leaving the relationship the woman would have other men as a means to make ends meet. Unmarried participants also agreed with the existence of friction between the wives and the sisters of husbands.
In the sub-theme discussion how scarce resources results in the inability of women to have a voice in their marriages or to escape unhappy marriages.
Women are unemployed and therefore have no income. Though engaging in economic generating projects, these are just enough for subsistence and so they remain poor and economically dependent on men. Women do not own land or property either in their biological homes and their marriages. Despite this unhappiness in their marriages they cannot leave as their family homes are owned by their brothers.
taxi industry. Taxis provide the resources required by women, for example, love, satisfaction and financial support. Men have also become a scarce resource due to polygamous marriages.
The sub-theme shows that while migrant husbands are a scarce resource due to migrant labour and polygamy, non-migrant men are available and the wives of migrant men fall for them. Married women engage in such extramarital relations for sexual satisfaction, love and financial support. Sex between them occurs without condom use.
4.2.3.3 Sub-theme: Education, knowledge and power
While knowledge is generally seen as power and is therefore an important resource, lack of knowledge is normally seen as detrimental to a relationship.
For instance, one married participant who suffers from asthma expressed her powerlessness owing to the lack of knowledge by both her husband and herself, as follows:
"He chased me away from Johannesburg. Before this diagnosis we did not know that I had asthma but I had this one attack and the doctor said it was Asthma. My husband said I should go back home and I should never visit him in Johannesburg again because I could die".
The lack of relevant knowledge of diseases, in particular, that asthma is no longer fatal if treated, was the reason why this man chased away his wife. If this woman had medical aid and could access adequate treatment, she would not have been chased away but would have sought better treatment and continued
living with her husband in Johannesburg. Most of the companies today provide medical aid only for their workers not their families. Marginalization of women who are already marginalized is seen through all walks of life. This participant said that her husband had no medical aid. She was still feeling angry and disappointed about being chased away as she said:
"There was no consultation no negotiation; not even involvement in the decision making. I was just told that I'd never visit again".
From the interviews men also seemed to lack knowledge about the physiology of women. Participants verbalized that their husbands do not satisfy them sexually.
They also said that they do not know what to do because they have low education and so do not know how to intervene. They seem to have lost hope as they felt they will never cease to be victims of oppression from their husbands.
The women were able to recognize that they have no power over men. Some did however express that they knew that they had sexual rights. Recognition of sexual rights was also mentioned by the key informants, but all women did not know how to exercise these rights. They said:
"Women know their rights as married women but the issue of rights contradicts with custom and culture. A married woman is guided by the family values as long as she wants to stay in a marriage"
Participants also did not know how much their husbands earned. This caused them to accept any amount of money that their husbands gave them. Further probing revealed that they did not have the ability to question and did not know the kind of marriage they were in. Even if they knew that they married in community of property they could not claim a 50% share in the husband's
income. It was apparent that their husbands did not send their wives enough money. Further discussions of the situation showed that the husband's attitude emanates from the notion that women are minors and should accept what their husbands give them. Their husbands are figures of authority, as they even call them "baba", father. When asked why they were doing this, some of them laughed and others said "It is culture, it shows our respect for them".
The sub-theme shows that men do not understand their wives' sexual feelings enough to accord them sexual satisfaction. Amongst married couples relations are based on power which is skewed towards men so that women are not involved in the decision-making process. Women do not even know their husbands' salaries nor the kind of marriages they entered into. Women have considerable knowledge of their human rights however they do not know, how to exercise them. On the other hand, family values and cultural norms take precedence over human rights. Thus women cannot exercise their rights.
4.2.3.4 Sub-theme: Access to health care and resources
Both married and unmarried participants were disturbed by and complained that the health services offer only male condoms and that these have always been readily available and could be obtained free of charge from any health centre.
Participants contend that female condoms are not available. They said that these are only obtainable from the pharmacists and are expensive.
Participants particularly became more serious when saying that there are no places available for men to talk about their problems. Some participants agreed with each other about this as expressed: "/ feel that our husbands have problems that they are faced with, which they cannot even share with us as their wives. We ask you to come up with a programme where men would be given a chance to express themselves one on one". A desperate married participant said:
"It could be helpful if you could come to our homes when the men are there during the December holidays so that they can express their problems and we could all sit and talk about them".
Participants also maintained that there is a lack of support in the communities particularly in the family. This applies to both males and females, although men are more supported by the family, which intervenes on behalf of the male when his wife does not agree to sleep with him. The family gives support to the man because he has paid ilobolo for his wife. A shift from the traditional stereotype thinking to a more reasoning and modernized one is seen in the following statement from a woman who divorced her husband. Though she did not get support from her mother-in-law, the community seemed to give her support.
P: He used to stay with another woman at home when I was away at work. He was also working but could not support the family. So I decided to divorce him.
I: This means that you are the one who applied for the divorce?
P: Yes I did, and also got custody of the children.
I: What did the people say as this is the rural area? You know how it is like about divorce and you said you applied for it?
P: Generally people are against divorce. But people who knew that I was suffering in the relationship, people who saw that when I was away he stayed with this woman sympathized with me. They are the ones who reported everything that used to happen while I was away.
ln the sub-theme married women expressed their concern about the lack of female condoms at health sites. These are only available at the pharmacies and are expensive. Men seem to have sexually related problems which they are not comfortable sharing with their sexual partners. Both married and unmarried women expressed the need for projects and health services that target men so that they could express their problems. The lack of support systems in the community and family was also identified, but the families tend to give support to men when their marriages are in trouble. This exerts some pressure on women to remain submissive to men. Even then women are starting to gain some power taking an example of a woman who divorced her husband despite the lack of support from her family.