It would be simplistic to place too much weight on material possessions and gifts as the glue that keeps marital relationships stable. The history of fallen humanity is replete with well-endowed people with poor relationship skills. Of the numerous causes of interpersonal problems in such relationships one might mention poor communication, James (4:1-3), interpersonal tensions, undefined roles, inflexibility and conflict of values.
be regarded as a seal that ratified an already established relationship. Holleman (1970:42) has stated the case more succinctly:
"It is as wrong to base the validity of Bantu marriage upon the transfer of cattle as it is illogical to base the completion of the marriage contract upon the transfer of the woman. Both events are merely steps towards the ultimate completion of the contract, and an affirmation that of a legal validity which was accepted from the time the parties concluded the aftlnation agreement"
Among Batswana, bogadi is sometimes witheld until the birth of the first child.
Even though bogadi is so very important, holding it back or delaying to pass it does not invalidate the marriage. This is a further argument against a view that ilobolo is a means of validating a marriage. The validation takes place much earlier before the balance of the ilobolo is passed. Besides, ilobolo was never given in full before or at the time of the marriage.
An important theological question to be raised with regard to ilobolo as a means of validating marriage (Mair 1969, Ogbu 1978, Manona 1980) is to ask how one would describe the union of Adam and Eve and subsequent marriages in Scripture which are silent about whether or not ilobolo was passed. What validates marriage in those instances seems to be a willingness to relinquish one's original family ties and give themselves over to their spouse. A marriage is valid if there is mutual consent between the parties and invalid if either or both renege on the commitment. That commitment is exemplified in the fictitious marriage of Hosea and Gomer, Hos. (1-3). It is sustained not by legal but moral requirements. It is as Israel remained faithful to God that the covenant relationship remained intact. In the New Testament, the mutual giving of each other forms the basis of the Ephesians 5 passage on marriage
relationships. Therefore the gifts of ilobolo are best regarded as outward expressions and a sign and seal that a valid marriage has taken place.
3.7 Ilobolo as a form of economic security for the woman.
Proponents of this view argue that ilobolo was a means of according women economic security and social stability. Harriet Ngubane (1987) adopts a positive stance towards ilobolo where cattle are given in exchange for a wife.
In her view such a practice was advantageous to a woman in two ways. First it provided a direct economic asset to a newly wed woman. She points out that among AmaZulu one of the ilobolo cows became the personal property of the bride, its increase accrued to her. Later in life when her daughter married, the bride - now - turned mother was given irikomo ka nina or the mother's cow sometimes called the virginity cow to acknowledge the role she played in raising up her daughter.
Gluckman (1950:195) goes beyond the virginity cow as a form of economic security and asserts that, in accordance with what he terms the 'house property complex' practised among the indigenous peoples of South Africa and others North of the Limpopo river, a lobola-d Zulu woman had land, cattle and gardens allotted to her by her husband. These became her unalienable possessions while she was alive, even if she were to be divorced. Upon her death, the property would go to her sons or to those of her sister in case of sororal polygamy.
Secondly, in Ngubane's terms, ilobolo in cattle became a source of security for the woman in that the cattle she received when she got married would be used to obtain a wife for her brother who, in turn, was obligated to protect her when the need arose. In cases of childlessness, a properly lobola-d woman's sister could raise children for her by marrying her husband. In such an arrangement, Ngubane (1978:177) concludes, the substitute woman or inhlanti (in isiSwati):
" Strengthens the household of her sister while at the same time gaining her own household. Thereby the primary axiom of kinship organisation is fulfilled, that everyone should have parents, siblings and children."
A third advantage that Ngubane associates with ilobolo cattle is the ritual power that women exerted behind the scenes during the ilobolo negotiations. She concludes that "the power of women is implicit and operates within the domestic (kinship) domain, while that of men is explicit and has to do with the external domain."
What she finds difficult to come to terms with in a cash based ilobolo is that the marriage transaction becomes privatised; it is commercialised and tends to trivialise marriage. She laments the fact that in such situations*.
" The structure of a kinship-based society, which by definition is one in which rights and obligations derive primarily from bonds of agnation and consanguinity, as in the institution of lobolo, is to undermine the whole social fabric."
Ngubane's position seems to be that the custom of ilobolo remained unproblematic until the introduction of a cash economy among Africans. As I have argued in chapter two above, some form of exchange dates back to the
origin of ilobolo itself. Prior to cattle being used as legal tender, beads and hoes, among other things, were used in exchange for women. Cattle were used later to supplement the other ilobolo gifts. Ngubane (1978:173) does acknowledge that in the loboli-ng process a combination of cattle and money was the more common practice. Therefore to draw a contrast between ilobolo in cattle on the one hand and money on the other is unhelpful. It tends to cloud the fundamental problems associated with ilobolo.
In the first instance, that the bride had to bring her own milk cow to her new home underscores the fact that she was regarded as an outsider until she had borne children. Secondly, the theory behind inkomo ka nina or the mother's cow seems to have been informed by the belief that girls ought to maintain their virginity until marriage whereas boys seem to have had less stringent measures placed on them.
Even more seriously is the division of responsibilities between women and men in the loboli-ng process. The former are said by Ngubane (1987:180) to have exercised their influence and power in the domestic realm " while that of men is explicit and has to do with the external domain." This Parsonian view has been shown to be not above criticism by feminist theoreticians such as Johnson and Smith (1989) and Friedman (1963) among others.
According to Krige (1981:4), a properly lobola-d woman became fully incorporated into her husband's lineage thus virtually ruling out any divorce and ensuring marital stability. This is in contrast to the Tsonga and Chopi wife who was not fully incorporated to her husband's group. She retained her links with her natal family and had important roles to play in political and in the ancestral
AbeNguni is that it was acceptable for a younger sister of a bride to step in as substitute wife if the latter died before bearing children or was childless.
If we were to accept uncritically Ngubane (1987) and Gluckman's (1950) theory that ilobolo ensures economic security for the woman, then the mercenary motive would be paramount It runs counter to the original purpose of why Eve was created to be a companion and a helpmate for the man. In the New Testament, the analogy of Ephesians 5 between husbands and wives, on the one hand, and Christ and the church, on the other underscores the fact that marriage is entered into not for the sake of what one will get out of it, though there is much that one gains, but it is a free relationship entered into out of love for the spouse.
However Ngubane (1978) and Junod's (1941) other observation that ilobolo for the sister was used to obtain a bride for him thereby strengthening family ties, has merit. It is premised on the basic unity of the community and the corporate nature of human society. Ilobolo as the fundamental means of knitting society together finds strong support in Scripture where members of a household of faith are urged to support and do good to all people but more especially to those of the household of faith, Gal. (3:10).
S.S Ilobolo, some reflections from within.
Having surveyed mainly the outsiders' views and understanding of the origin, function and purpose of ilobolo we shall conclude this chapter by examining how insiders, both those who are for and those against the practice estimate the value of ilobolo. We will critique each position in the light of modem practice
and then draw some preliminary conclusions which will be tested in the field research in chapter four below.
Looking first at those who maintain a positive attitude to ilobolo. J. H. Soga (1931:263) begins his treatise on ilobolo by pointing out that;
"...without lobola men would live much as animals do. They would take women, live with them until such time as they desired a change, then discard them for others, and continue to act thus ad libitum."
On that view, Soga concludes that ilobolo was instituted to 'protect womankind'. He is fully aware that it was practised differently in various African communities, nevertheless its " main object namely, the security of status and the protection of the married woman may be assumed as universal (:
264). Ngubane (1977) concurs with Soga with the one proviso that it was ilobolo in cattle, not as cash, that secured a woman's economic position and legitimised her status in her conjugal home. Dlamini (1994:19) adds that "the original purpose oiilobolo among the Zulus seems to have been the securing of valid marriages and hence the procreation of legitimate children/'
The second purpose of ilobolo, Soga notes, is " to secure the acquiescence of both parties to the marriage contract" (: 265). Once the parents of the girl had satisfied themselves that the young man could marry their daughter, he would pledge his sincerity by presenting a lobola cow or ox or simply pledge his faith to marry the young woman. In either case, he would be loboli-ng. The acceptance of the animals represented a peace treaty between the two families and a guarantee protecting the wife45
45 See Lobola and the Law in Echo (supplement to the Witness. Thursday, October IS, 1998 p.7. Anonymous
Following Krige, Dlamini (1994:19) analyses the formal address used by the negotiators and points out that in their mannerisms and careful choice of words, their mission was clearly aimed at establishing a social and spiritual bond between the families of the bride and the groom. He aligns himself with Allot (1968) who reasons that;
"The 'bride-price' serves several legal purposes in African law. To begin with, its ceremonial transfer from the husband's to the wife's people is a public record and expression of the coming into being of a new matrimonial relationship. It is thus both evidence of a solemn transaction and also the validating act by which it is concluded."
As an indication that such a bond was meant to be permanent, there was traditionally no fixed number of ilobolo cattle and the groom's family were expected to continue passing ilobolo throughout the duration of the relationship.
The words of Vilakazi (1961:63) are apt;
"The passing of ilobolo which is reciprocated by umbondo is a continuous process that initiates, maintains and strengthens the relationship between the two households."
The same idea is expressed by a Sesotho saying that "mosadi ha a qetwe" which literally translates that it is not expected that bohadi for a wife will ever be fully paid off.
A third emic understanding of ilobolo is one suggested by Canon Luke Pato who posits the view that ilobolo should not be understood as a commercial transaction, rather it should be viewed as a "symbol that legitimises the marriage. Among AbeNguni this would mean that a woman has legitimate
rights in the house established by her marriage. Krige (1981:3) points out that those rights include:
" Cattle and available lands (however small nowadays) allocated to her house, bride-wealth received in respect of its daughters, produce from its own field and any livestock or assets earned by the wife on her own account."
In more recent times Majeke (1998:49), arguing in favour of the preferred use of the term lobola over bride-wealth by the South African Law Commission, maintained that "lobola is a blood contract, a mandatory and an imperative sine qua non condition for any marriage in indigenous African communities."
And in our view, it was and remains as the recognised means of uniting a man and his wife, and she with his shades, hence Skosana's (1998:5 0 plea that
"abolishing lobolo would be an assault on African religion."
In his famous "I am an African" declaration and that he was proud of his ancestry and culture, Marwede (1945; 6) made an impassioned plea for the retention of ilobolo on the grounds that it was a central pillar of African culture.
He outlined its purpose as a means of encouraging young men to be industrious, obedient and served as a means of maintaining high moral standards.
According to him, all of that constituted the central characteristics of ubtmtu.
He argued that in its environment, lobolo was a 'good and serviceable custom.
It worked in harmony with other customs characteristic of clan organisation."
Lindiwe (not her name) cited in Thabo Masemola (Witness, Thursday July 24, 1997 p.7) expresses her pride "that my husband paid ilobolo. He proved his worth in the eyes of my parents and relatives. Without ilobolo I'd feel
cheapened. I don't believe my husband would respect me if he got me for nothing."
As indicated above, among insiders, Soga (1931) is the most enthusiastic of the supporters of ilobolo since, in his words, it was instituted to protect womanhood. Likewise Vilakazi (1961) and Marwede (1945) are two other important proponents of the custom. These writers regard ilobolo as a key pillar to African culture. A pertinent theological issue that presents itself then becomes the question of how one achieves a balance between cultural relevancy and biblical faithfulness?
Supporters of the culture of ilobolo can refer to many precedents in Scripture where in Luke (4:16) Jesus is portrayed as someone who maintained his links with the Jewish synagogue. He did not shun a social event such as a wedding ceremony at Can a. John (2:1-11), or avoid the accepted teaching methods of his time where parables and illustrations drawn from life were used by rabbis.
However, the same Christ made very strong statements against Judaism and its fixation to human rules. The traditions of the Pharisees received sharp criticism from him, Acts (15:Iff). His attitude to culture in a changing context during his earthly ministry is summed up in a cryptic statement that wisdom demands that new wine has to be poured into new wine skins in order to preserve both, Matthew (9:17). Similarly, with ilobolo it is not enough for its supporters to preserve it because it happens to be an old custom. Social changes demand that adjustments be made even to old customs.
As will be shown in chapter four below, ilobolo remains and highly contentious issue even among the insiders. In response to Marwede's Africanist argument, Mamabolo (1945:18) retorts that custom only "justifies its continuance when the purpose it serves is good and big enough to outweigh the inconvenience accompanying its observance." Most of those who express a contrary view to Marwede's (Chigwedere 1982; Masondo 1992; Radebe 1997) bemoan the fact that it remains a cultural symbol unfortunately denuded of the elements of that culture. Thus the cultural argument has severe limitations.
Whereas ilobolo was a mandatory requirement of customary marriage, with the rapid changes from an agricultural economy to the modern industrial state whose influence reaches to the remotest corners of rural settings, the questions being asked now are: how helpful is it to remain with the past? Should we rather not build on foreground now (Mamabolo 1954:30)? This leads us to the recent debate on the status of ilobolo and colonial law, its role in and post- colonial and post-apartheid society.