A Kinder Way to Support Your Child 45
are persistent. Furthermore, your child will face other challenges that will exceed his or her capacities, such as busy schedules, more demand-ing coursework, and larger amounts of homework. To support you in the ongoing years, additional bypass strategies in handy checklist form can be found on this book’s website: http://www.newharbinger.com/40989.
46 Helping Your Child with Language-Based Learning Disabilities
student had both dyslexia and ADHD. Unfortunately, the many sub-skills involved such as copying words, looking words up, learning to spell words, and memorizing their meanings overwhelmed her.
The primary learning objective of this exercise was for the students to increase their vocabulary. But my student had great difficulty copying the words from the board accurately. This in turn prevented her from finding the definitions and learning how to spell the words correctly. To scaffold the learning objective, I proactively obtained a list of the weekly vocabulary words, provided my student with their meanings, and sup-ported her with the steps required to learn how to spell and define them.
With the high level of support I provided her, she successfully learned the meanings of these words, which was the primary objective, and per-formed well on her tests.
As your child’s skills are developing, it is crucial that you help him or her approach homework assignments systematically, step by step, and that you give yourself permission to help with the tasks that exceed his or her capacities. Asking a child who has not yet mastered all of the skills schoolwork requires without support is like expecting someone to learn how to square dance at the same time he is learning to play the fiddle.
It’s too much to do all at once.
Steps for Preventing Subskill Coupling
1. Identify the primary learning objective of each assignment. Is the assign-ment designed to boost your child’s vocabulary or improve his or her spelling skills? When you understand the primary learning objective, you will have an easier time helping your child achieve success on his or her terms. For example, if your child has a weekly vocabulary quiz, find out what the words are, write them out clearly yourself, and provide your child with a concise definition for each. (Remember: learning the vocabulary words is the primary learning objective here; your job is to remove any additional barriers to learning those words.) During the week, review the vocabulary with your child, making the task of memo-rization as fun as possible: set the definitions to music, draw pictures, use flashcards— whatever method your child enjoys most. By bypassing slowly emerging skills, you can help your child learn the vocabulary, which is the primary objective.
A Kinder Way to Support Your Child 47
2. Compartmentalize each assignment into step- by- step tasks. Help your child focus on the aspects of the assignment that will help him or her achieve the primary learning objective. This alone may be enough to make the assignment feasible. It may also be that specific tasks exceed your child’s capacities or draw attention away from the primary learning objective. In that case, take an active role in supporting those tasks. For example, if your child has a history assignment that involves writing, a presentation, and a construction project, you should carefully study the assignment and consider how it can be broken down into achievable steps. At times you will have to function as the organizer, the planner, and the time manager. For many children with LBLDs, these critical capacities have not yet emerged.
3. Use bypass strategies to achieve the primary learning objective. If it’s clear that a reading component exceeds your child’s capacities, read to your child. If writing is difficult for your child, allow him or her to dictate to you. Do your best to help your child achieve the primary learning objec-tive or assignment requirement. Work on developing the other skills at a different time. For example, if your child needs to complete an algebra problem that requires multiplication, and your child’s multiplication skills are emerging slowly, then do the multiplication for your child or allow him or her to use a calculator. This allows your child to focus his or her energy on using formulas and the order of operations (the primary learning objective) correctly.
Note: This document is also available for download at the website for this book: http://
www.newharbinger.com/40989
If you involve yourself in addressing subskill coupling, you will allow your child to manage the demands of homework when they exceed what he or she is capable of. You will also help your child learn specific study skills and achieve the teacher’s primary learning objective. Parents often doubt their ability to provide homework support, but I believe if the approach is right, no one could be better for the job than a parent.
Recognizing when subskill coupling is occurring and doing something about it will allow your child to excel in all areas of learning and school.
Furthermore, it will foster the kind of positive collaboration that pro-motes learning and skill development.
48 Helping Your Child with Language-Based Learning Disabilities
Conclusion
I wish it were possible to say that if you work with your child collabora-tively for six weeks or six months, he or she will acquire all of the capaci-ties needed to manage the demands of school independently. But the truth is that many children with LBLDs need years of collaborative support to contend with school while their written language and execu-tive functioning skills are emerging.
Providing your child with the help that he or she needs doesn’t mean you are hindering skill development. In fact, there are few things that hinder skill development more than withholding support when it is needed. Forcing children to contend with overwhelming situations on their own diminishes learning, reduces confidence, increases anxiety, and raises the level of conflict in the home. When you confidently and proactively support your child in all the areas where help is needed, you will provide him or her with the fastest route to learning, skill develop-ment, and independence.
By using bypass strategies to resolve the challenges of subskill cou-pling, your child’s efforts will be spent on what they should be spent on:
learning content, acquiring study skills, completing homework, and being prepared for tests and quizzes. Collaborating with your child on homework will also show your child that you are a consistent, reliable source of support. The level of kindness that characterizes your relation-ship with your child should not be forsaken while doing homework but rather called upon and leveraged as a means of managing the demands of school and learning important skills. Provide the help your child needs and you will both be deeply rewarded.