Although there are numerous sex positions that can be found in books—or your imagination—sometimes the most pleasurable positions involve slight modifications of old stand-bys. Here are a few ways to transform common sex positions into uncommon pleasure.
Mission: Pleasure Possible
When some people hear “missionary,” they think of boring, awkward, fumbling sex. But missionary is perhaps the most common sex position for a reason—
namely, it can be an easy sex position in which a woman can relax and focus on her pleasure and orgasm. Try these adaptations that may stimulate your vulva or vagina in more targeted ways:
Tilt your hips upward during missionary, making your torso as flat as a table. If your partner’s penis or strap-on points or aims upward, this can aid in G-spot stimulation. Downward pointing or side-to-side play can also be fun. Squeeze your pelvic-floor muscles (the muscles that help draw your vagina in tighter) for more intense stimulation for yourself and your partner.
You might also find it easier to place a pillow under your hips so that you can relax rather than holding your hips up with your own strength.
Become a CAT lady. CAT stands for coital alignment technique, another modification of missionary. Have your male partner (or your female partner if she’s wearing a strap-on) position their shoulders past yours, closer to your ears or forehead. This should allow your partner’s pubic bone to more easily rub against your vulva. This placement combined with the motions—
which are more about close grinding than in and out thrusting—has been shown to make for easier orgasms for women.11–14
Breaking the Sex Ceiling: Woman on Top
Although woman on top is another popular sex position (at least in part due to Sharon Stone’s sexy ways in the movie Basic Instinct), many women aren’t sure what to do once they get on top. In fact, this is a question that Debby has been asked hundreds of times in her work as a sex educator and columnist. Here are four possibilities—though you should feel free to get creative all on your own.
Top a squat. Plant one foot flat on the ground on either side of your partner’s torso, with your knees facing forward or out to the sides (if you have knee problems or concerns about your knee health or safety, check in
with your healthcare provider before trying this or any other sex position that works or puts stress on your knees). Using your hands on your partner’s torso or on the bed for leverage, rise up to slide your vagina up the shaft of your partner’s penis or strap-on and then back down. Squeeze your pelvic-floor muscles for more intense stimulation.
Lean forward. Whether your feet or knees are planted on either side of your partner, leaning forward allows you to get closer to your partner, which can allow for kissing and building intimacy. If your partner’s penis or strap-on points or bends upward, this can also intensify G-Spot stimulation for you.
Lean back. No matter which way your partner points or bends, leaning back can stimulate the front vaginal wall (G-spot area), as everything your partner’s got down there will be pressing against that front vaginal wall.
Leaning back also makes it easier for your partner to stimulate your clitoris with his/her fingers or a sex toy, such as a vibrator.
Grind it. Slowly move your hips forward and back, grinding your partner’s genitals. Then try moving your hips in circles, thus providing ample stimulation to your entire vulva.
Of course, you can also turn around and try these reverse cowgirl style, facing your partner’s feet.
Back It On Up: Rear Entry
Sometimes people think of rear entry between a man and a woman as being more about the man’s pleasure than the woman’s pleasure. After all, rear entry can be a pretty deep-thrusting position, which can mean that a woman’s cervix gets bumped up against (pleasurable for some women, but uncomfortable or painful for others). Rear-entry sex positions (a.k.a. doggie style) have also gotten a bad rap thanks to their frequent presence in, well, rap. Although sex as portrayed in some rap and hip-hop songs has shaped many women’s sexuality in positive ways, there are also a number of lyrics and videos that have made some women feel more objectified than respected as an equal partner in pleasure—and all too often, doggie style has been used as a part of those messages.
Nevertheless, rear entry can be a pleasurable part of many women’s sex lives.
Here are two ways to make it work in your favor:
All fours. This is traditional doggie style in which a woman is on all fours while her partner thrusts while kneeling or standing behind her. You can
keep your back flat as a table for moderate-depth thrusting or lean down, with your head in the pillows, for deeper thrusting (this poses a greater likelihood of bumping against the cervix, so proceed with caution). If your partner is particularly large or you find the depth of thrusting uncomfortable, ask him to wear a two-holed masturbation sleeve on his penis. Sleeves with a hole at each end can be slipped over his penis and squished down to the base, giving him total coverage (the toy stimulates the bottom half and you stimulate the top half ) while you don’t have to take as much in at a time.
Lay down. Once you two are “inserted” in the all-fours position, you may find it pleasurable to keep your bodies connected as you slink downward and lay on the bed on your stomach. If your partner pops out, try raising your hips upward for easier re-entry. By laying down for rear entry, you can minimize the thrusting pace and depth, which can be easier on your vagina and cervix. Women who enjoy G-spot or clitoral stimulation may also find this pleasurable, as they can grind against their partner and their bed, while face-down.