2.5 My Word, That’s Riches 21
2.6.10 Collage Portraits
Collage making in research goes beyond traditional ways of representing data as it transcends the boundaries of the conventional modes (Pinnegar & Hamilton, 2009a). Furthermore, Pinnegar and Hamilton argued that collage making can intensify the data analysis and representation possibilities when engaging in self-study research. They defined collage as a compilation of selected text and images that, when completed, can give the researcher a visual demonstration of an experience and create avenues for the researcher to see the experience from a more creative and novel perspective.
The term collage comes from the French word coller, which means to glue or paste something (Butler-Kisber, 2008). In the art world, it refers to a practice in which “found materials” (p. 266) for example text or photographs that could be original or constructed are then pasted onto a flat surface juxtaposing the text with the images (Butler-Kisber, 2008). McDermott (as cited in Pinnegar &
67
Hamilton, 2009a) cautioned that a collage is not simply paper and images pasted together but, rather, it represents a conversation between the creator and the viewers of the collage. McDermott explained further that collage making breaks down traditional ways of understanding and internalising meaning by representing innermost feelings and thoughts of the creator that words cannot express.
Dabbling in collage making, I came to know that collage and portraiture are two separate techniques of exploration and analysis, and that combining collage with portraiture is not new to the arts (Gerstenblatt, 2013). As Gerstenblatt explained, “the process of creating collage portraits provided another ‘layer of vision,’ allowing collage portraits to convey stories by weaving together words and images” (2013, p. 304). I experienced the physical process of gathering evidence, making copies of the evidence, deciding which pieces of evidence I should use, and where I would place them on the collage portraits. I found that it was a process laden with emotions, reflexive thoughts interspersed with periods of intense introspection, self-doubt about my artistic abilities, and satisfaction when it all came together. This heightened and sharpened the understanding of my learning in response to each research question (Pinnegar & Hamilton, 2009a).
Now, I explain the process of developing my collages to represent my personal and professional learning in response to my three research questions.
My first collage portrait.
My first collage portrait was created to represent my learning in response to my first research question on what could have influenced my role modelling as a teacher educator of accounting pedagogy. From my reading, I learned that educators’ studies of their personal histories were a major catalyst for improvement of their practice, which ultimately improved their students’ learning (Samaras, Hicks &, Berger, 2004). Hence, I divided my personal history into the phases of childhood, primary school years, high school years, and my first career choice and motherhood. I selected photographs from old family albums as well as photographs that I took during my data generation process and I created a collage that I titled “Shards of Dreams” that showed the different phases in my development as distinct stages but, at the same time, shows the interrelationship between all the phases (Figure 2.5).
68
Figure 2.5 “Shards of Dreams”: My personal history collage portrait
I call the personal history collage portrait “Shards of Dreams” to represent the shattered pieces of my childhood and youth, which reminded me of splintered pieces of mirrors. Just as a mirror shatters, so the little pieces still remain intact despite the whole mirror being destroyed. My childhood was like a broken mirror, shattered into shards but not totally destroyed. On the left side of the collage are the photographs that represent my sad and desolate childhood and on the right side, the artefacts that represent the happier moments of my life. I began the collage portrait with a recent photograph that I took of the original home my parents lived in. This was special to me because it was a symbol of my parents’ short life together. The house, although neglected, is still intact and as solid as it was 55 years ago. I included a photograph of my grandparents and their home because memories of them and their home stirred bittersweet emotions within me. Below my childhood experiences on the collage, are my horrific primary school years depicted by photographs of my school and a photograph of a recent publication of the book The Ugly Duckling (Kelly, 2014).
As explained in Chapter Three, this book was given to me as a prize for attaining first position in my Grade 2 (Class 2) year. However, what was supposed to be a joyful moment was marred by an experience that caused me to develop a low self-esteem.
69
I included the only tattered and torn photograph of myself as a young child. It was very disappointing when I enquired from my family if they had any photographs of me as a young child and all my mother could find was this photo. Given that I had no recollection of my father, this photograph of my father next to my photograph as a young child was the only one I managed to salvage. This was the only tangible proof I had that my father did exist at one time. At the top right hand corner, my happy high school days are depicted by photographs of my high school and me as a high school learner.Below these two photographs, are photographs of me in my radiography uniform and of my radiography badges, depicting the first career direction I pursued against my wishes. There is also a photograph of me in my first car. Next to this photograph, is a photograph of my mother in her nurse’s attire. My mother is the person I admire the most and for this reason I have placed her photograph in the centre with a photograph of The Secret Garden. The Secret Garden novel is at the centre of my life and, no matter what happens in my life, I always go back to it for strength and encouragement. I take my spirit from this novel. I also included a photograph of my husband with my children when they were babies. One either side of this photograph are two photographs—one of my son’s plastic hospital identity bracelet, and one of a name that the nurses in the hospital gave to him because I had not yet named him. It was pinned to his cot in the hospital when he was born.
These two items are very close to my heart because they signified my son’s survival.
My second collage portrait.
I developed the second collage titled “The Awakening” to portray my learning in response to my second research question on what I role modelled for my students as a teacher educator of accounting pedagogy (Figure 2.6).
70
Figure 2.6 “The Awakening”: Collage portrait of my role modelling
I titled this collage portrait “The Awakening” because, after generating data with my students and critical friends, I awakened to the realisation that I was not the perfect accounting pedagogy teacher educator that I had envisaged myself to be. I created this collage portrait on an artist’s white canvas board. I divided the canvas into three sections and painted each section a different colour: red, yellow, and green. Red is a warm and positive colour and it exudes a strong powerful energy. I believed from what students told me during my data generation with them that I exuded a strong and powerful energy in my teaching. Students described me as a fast moving, fast talking teacher educator who was as vibrant and powerful as the bright red Ferrari that is shown on the section of collage painted red. Students also described me as an aeroplane and, although they did not draw an aeroplane, they wrote an explanation of why they regarded me as an aeroplane. Students said I am
71
like an aeroplane because I do not waste time, I move through the accounting content very fast, which is good because we finish the work in record time. On the other hand, they also saw the negative in that I rush through the work and some students get left behind. They said that after a lesson, they have to take some time out and sit quietly by themselves and, in their heads, go through the lesson to try and grasp the content. I placed this aeroplane explanation below the Ferrari metaphor on the section of the portrait painted a lighter shade of red. In the metaphor drawing of me as the sun, students described me a having a sunny, warm, and friendly disposition. I pasted this metaphor drawing on the section of the collage that was painted yellow. Closely related to the metaphor of me as the sun, is the metaphor of me as a star shining over the students, illuminating their minds. I placed this metaphor drawing on the yellow portion of the collage. The yellow symbolises sunshine, warmth, growth, and happiness. On the portion of the collage painted green, I placed the metaphor drawing of me as a jacaranda tree. Students said that, like the jacaranda tree, I have strong roots and I, in turn, develop strong teachers who can withstand the storm of teaching.
In the centre of the collage is the metaphor drawing of me as a lamplighter. I placed this drawing in the centre of the collage because the students said I light up their lives. I placed it in the centre because all the other colours join each other and overlap in the centre. As a lamplighter, the students said I lead the way—which encompasses light from the yellow portion, growth from the green portion, and passion and energy from the red portion.
My third collage portrait.
My third collage was developed to answer my third research question: “How can I develop as a more productive role model for my students?” I called this collage portrait “Rise of the Phoenix”
(Figure 2.7) to portray my reinventing myself just as the mythical phoenix arose from the ashes; I also arose from the realisation that I needed to improve my pedagogic practice. And I realised at the end of my self-study process, that there was never going to be an end to my reinvention. It was a dynamic process and I will never come to a point and stop. I will be learning and reinventing myself all the time.
72
Figure 2.7 “Rise of the Phoenix: Collage portrait of my reinventing self
At the top left hand corner, is a student metaphor drawing of me as a gardener. Students said they drew me as a gardener because I am sowing the seeds of knowledge. In discussions with students, they commented that, like the gardener, I was not absolutely sure that what I planted would grow.
Maybe it will die completely, maybe it will sprout a few leaves or a few flowers, or sometimes it will flourish and be abundant with flowers. There were many factors that could impact on the growth potential of the flowers. Likewise, enacting social constructivist purposeful pedagogies, I was not sure whether it would be very successful or not. Nevertheless, students commented that there was a change and the change was for the better.
Below the metaphor drawing of me as a gardener, is a metaphor drawing of me as a baker. Students commented that a baker combines various ingredients together to make a cake. The ingredients have to be of the correct quantities in order to bake a tasty cake—I was like the baker. I had to select the choicest teaching strategies, combine these with the best ingredients, and use the most effective utensils in order to get the desired results.
Towards the centre of the collage is the metaphor drawing of a tightrope walker that I did (Chapter Nine) to represent a critical moment that occurred in my teaching. This critical moment was
73
profoundly significant in my attempt at enacting purposeful pedagogies. At the bottom of the collage portrait next to the drawing of the baker metaphor, is a student drawing of a butterfly. Students explained that before the butterfly becomes a butterfly, it was a caterpillar. Then, once it spins itself a cocoon to protect it, it transforms into a beautiful colourful butterfly. Students drew this metaphor to represent the visible change they could see in my teaching strategies. When I adopted a social constructivist approach, students got the freedom to learn—depicted by the photographs of a show they had arranged in which a sketch and mock Zulu wedding were included. The two photographs captured this event.
At the top right hand corner, is a student metaphor drawing showing me and the students working together. The caption says “Taking the Journey Together,” which, students explained to me, is my transforming self. My reinvented self is the one that takes students’ voices into account and we work together and make decisions together. The metaphor drawing shows me holding the hands of students and walking together with them. They drew me as the larger person in the picture because students explained that I was the one leading and guiding them. This was what I wanted to achieve with my social constructivist approach—not to leave students alone but to guide and lead them towards enlightenment. The light bulb that is drawn in this scenario depicts the enlightenment that I was leading them towards.
Apart from the metaphor drawings in this collage portrait, I included typed copies of my reflections on my teaching, reflections on my conversations with critical friends, reflections on the peer- reviewed feedback of the paper I developed on the critical moment in my teaching activities, and reflections on my presentation of my critical moment conference paper at a teaching and learning conference.