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The Greyness Grew Heavier and She Fell Asleep 11

Dalam dokumen a self-study of my role modelling (Halaman 35-39)

I conclude this first chapter with the words, “The Greyness Grew Heavier and She Fell Asleep,” to portray the end of one chapter in Mary’s life. As she falls asleep in the carriage on the way to her uncle’s house, she does not realise that when she wakes up, another chapter in her life will begin.

Similarly, I have completed the opening chapter of the exploration into my role modelling, and will be moving on to a new chapter of my role modelling. Now, I provide a conclusion and an overview of the thesis.

In this opening chapter, I introduced the reader to my study and explained how I used the novel, The Secret Garden, as a literary creative nonfiction mechanism for composing this thesis. I then provided relevant background information about myself and my teaching context. I highlighted why this study was important to me as a teacher educator of accounting pedagogy. Drawing on my reading about previous research, I informed the reader what others have already discovered in relation to my research topic, and what lessons I learned from them for my study. I then outlined my research questions and gave a brief explanation of why I formulated these particular questions and how I responded to them. I also clarified the main theoretical perspective of social constructivism, which

11 “She watched it so long and steadily that the greyness grew heavier and heavier and she fell asleep” (Burnett, 1969, p. 14).

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framed my research study. Thereafter, I discussed my understanding of the following key concepts that emerged in this study from a social constructivist perspective: accounting pedagogy, role modelling, and professional learning. I went on to explain my understanding of developing a living educational theory through my self-study research.

On commencing this chapter, I explained how I initially refused to believe that I was not the perfect accounting pedagogy teacher educator that I had imagined myself to be. In addition, I refused to believe that I could follow through on my decision to use an arts-based research methodological approach to conduct my self-study of educational practice. But then a strange new thing happened:

I found a living contradiction in my pedagogical practice. Another strange new thing occurred—

this living contradiction gave me the impetus to transform my practice using an arts-based self-study approach. Then I discovered it could be done, and I wondered why I did not do it before.

Chapter Two

In Chapter Two, I remind the reader about the focus and purpose of the study. I identify the research methodology used in the study and describe the research setting. I provide information on my research participants and my critical friends. I explain the research process I used to generate, represent, and analyse data for my study and provide examples of the data sources. I then inform the reader about the ethical considerations, and how trustworthiness was established. I then describe the actual challenges I faced during this study and how I overcame them. I end with a conclusion where I restate the focus of the chapter and briefly summarise the various sections of the chapter to show how I achieved this purpose.

Chapter Three

In Chapter Three, I describe my lived experiences during my childhood. I provide an account of my early childhood and the events that occurred in my life. I then try to make a link between these experiences and my professional development by showing how certain experiences, people, and places from my lived experiences shaped and moulded me.

Chapter Four

In Chapter Four, I communicate details about my primary school experiences and the events that occurred that warped my image of myself. I describe my home life and the negative experiences in primary school that distorted my view of myself.

36 Chapter Five

In Chapter Five, I highlight my high school journey. I describe how my life changed for the better in high school as I developed a more positive self-concept. I recall events and people who have had a significant impact on my life. I then relate these events, experiences, and influences to my professional development.

Chapter Six

In Chapter Six, I chronicle my entry into adulthood and delineate my professional career. I describe the different roles that I was playing as a wife, mother, businesswoman, and teacher. I identify meaningful experiences and influences in these roles that carved my path towards my development as a teacher educator.

Chapter Seven

In Chapter Seven, I recount my teaching experiences as a teacher educator and show how I began to try to role model a social constructivist perspective in the first trimester of 2014. In this chapter, I give detailed accounts of various teaching activities and learning activities that I involved my students in for that first trimester of 2014. I explain how I videotaped my lectures and wrote reflections on my pedagogic practice, generated data with my students and critical friends, and wrote reflections on my students’ perceptions of my teaching and my critical friends’ views on my teaching.

Chapter Eight

In Chapter Eight, I portray my teaching activities for the second trimester of 2014. I depict significant events and activities, and relate the dialogue with my students that occurred during the actual teaching process. I reflect on my teaching and the perspectives of my critical friends on my teaching.

Chapter Nine

In Chapter Nine, I describe how I involved my second- and third-year students in a Blackboard online discussion board activity. I narrate how students confronted me after I informed them the activity would span 5 weeks, that it would be done after lecture time, and that the activity would not be graded therefore no marks would go towards their due performance (DP) marks. I describe this incident as a critical moment in my pedagogic activities. I reflected on this critical moment and drew

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a metaphor to represent it. I developed my reflections into a conference paper and presented it at a national university teaching and learning conference. I recount the feedback I received from the conference attendees as my critical friends, and offer my reflections on the feedback.

Chapter Ten

In Chapter Ten, I conclude this thesis. I provide a review of the entire thesis. This is followed by my development of my living educational theory. I then discuss my methodological learning. Next, I provide an analysis of the three collage portraits I developed to represent my learning from the data I generated to address my three research questions. To end, I reflect on what this thesis could offer to others.

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CHAPTER TWO: THE ROBIN WHO SHOWED THE WAY12 Shut away so long, she wanted to see it

The robin showed the way singing and twittering

The door, it opened slowly—slowly wonder, excitement, delight

She was standing inside the secret garden13

Dalam dokumen a self-study of my role modelling (Halaman 35-39)