5.4. Performance
5.4.1. Dressing
Dressing was raised as one of the ways in which participants ―self-construct‖ their identities and themselves as sexual beings. I observed that participants who identified as female were well groomed with some having tweezed eyebrows, blonde dyed hair, painted nails, skinny jeans and tight fitting clothes. The transgender woman started powdering her face as we waited for the first focus group discussion. The transgender men dressed in what can be classified as ―masculine‖ clothes while the participants who identified as men dressed in
―masculine‖ clothes. The following are some of their views on how they ―self-construct‖
their identities and sexualities with dressing taking the centre stage:
Terry: I used to be an Adventist…SDA… but I no longer go to SDA because of some of the norms that are there…because of the way I identify…umm…when they
look at me, they say am supposed to be wearing a long dress or whatever but I don‟t identify as a woman…yeah, so, I have that issue and I cannot go with my family dressed the way I am…because they will be telling me we are going to church so why do you have to do that…it is against what they say at church… so I found myself switching from an Adventist to Anglican…because where I go now, am free to go as I am…no one will tell me to say no you are not dressed the way you are supposed to be dressed.
Chipobabz: Ine baPastor banani pepeka ninshi ningena mu Cock Pit ninshi namvala skinny jean, navala nemwine…ninaleka kuimba muchurch ine…the Pastor followed me in the pub to look for me. (Loose trans. The Pastor ran after me as I entered Cock Pit (night club) and I was wearing a skinny jean…after that I stopped singing in church…the Pastor followed me into the pub).
Diva: I buy clothes from men‟s shelves…but I buy my clothes smaller…and they (family, society and church) say why? …the size of the clothes matter…even skinny jeans when worn by heterosexual men…they look gay.
Teta: More straight men are emulating the way homosexual men are dressing…the short pants raise questions…girlish dressing and sitting all raise questions.
The participants showed how dressing plays an important role in how they ―self-construct‖
their identities and sexualities, especially within their personal and religious spaces. Dressing is one visible way in which participants perform their identities and sexualities – for example, tight fitting clothes and painted nails – although they did not attach any feelings to their dressing. However, power constellations are shown when they indicate that Christianity in most cases determines the dress code for its adherents and such prescriptions do sometimes influence the denominational affiliation of participants, as well as other sexual minorities.
Therefore, dressing and its acceptability, or not, in given churches creates a sense of belonging, or not, for some participants who either have to conform or leave the churches.
Dressing within Zambian Christianity is closely tied to personal piety. For example, during my childhood, Christian women‘s piety was associated with wearing head scarves during some church services. As noted by Chipobabz, church leaders are usually regarded as custodians of religious prescriptions on ―right‖ forms of dressing for adherents. Skinny jeans are largely frowned upon by some churches but are mentioned by participants as trendy
dressing for some participants who consider themselves trendsetters for some heterosexual men.
In his study on employer regulation of gay and lesbian appearance, Skidmore outlines three messages that the wearer of the clothing communicates and to which gay and lesbians are more conscious:
first, a desire to communicate a message about one‘s sexuality which is intended to be readable by the world at large…second, a desire to communicate a message that only certain others ‗in the know‘ will be able to read…thirdly a desire to communicate with the self, perhaps in private or by wearing underclothes not (usually) seen by others (1999:513).
During discussions, participants indicated how they had been ―outed‖ in church by a pastor during the funeral service of one of their colleagues and when I asked them if there was anything about their dressing which ―gave them away‖, their responses were negative.
However, it is possible that unintentionally and unknowingly, participants communicated their identities and sexualities through their dressing. Furthermore, skinny jeans are regarded as a gay trademark, although such dressing is not the preserve of gay people. Dressing also symbolizes personal style as well as class and culture.
In their exploratory qualitative study of a group of younger British lesbians, gay and bisexuals on how they actively through clothing and appearance construct and manage a visual identity as lesbians, gays and bisexuals, Clark and Turner (2007:6) observe that there is a link between lesbian and gay sexuality and their dress and appearance. Some of their participants described ―the typical gay man as having (bleached) blond or highlighted hair and wearing tighter t-shirts, lower trousers, and generally more feminine styles and colours, more jewellery and more revealing clothes than do heterosexual men‖ (Clark and Turner 2007:6). Skidmore aligns dressing with gender performance stressing that the
choice of particular colours, styles and brands of clothing, hairstyles and body jewellery which for some gay men and lesbians have been important tools of their gender performance, especially when attempting to communicate with the world at large, do not always conform with employers‘ expectations, thus leading to potential conflict (1999:513).
Some participants perform their gender through their dressing which is sometimes held in contempt by some churches in Zambia. Although these participants intimated how they are considered trendsetters in dressing for some heterosexual men in Zambia, Skidmore insists that ―it is a matter of considerable debate how far gay men‘s fashion leads or influences mainstream men‘s fashion‖ (1999:514). Whether gay people are generally trendsetters for some Zambian heterosexual men, and whether many heterosexual men would concur with such assertions, is unproven but worth investigating.
Another theme that arose in relation to performance of identities and sexualities by participants was the sexual and gender roles assumed within the sexual relationships.