CHAPTER TWO LITERATURE REVIEW
2.10. GRIEVING CHILDREN IN THE SCHOOL ENVIRONMENT
2.10.1. The role of the school in middle childhood development:
Many studies on school performance and bereaved children in middle childhood have shown a correlation between achievement and self-esteem when compared with their peers, according to Corr et al (2000). School played a key role in the development of children, especially during middle childhood years. Shaffer, cited in Louw et al (1998:358) argued that, of all the formal
institutions that children encounter in their lives away from home, few have the potential to influence their behaviour as the school they attend.
At school, children are provided with information which increases their cognitive development and knowledge base. The classroom brings new challenges, both academic and social. Life Orientation, a learning outcomes-based programme aimed at health promotion and social, personal, physical, has been introduced into the school curriculum to equip learners with life skills to achieve and extend personal potential to respond effectively to challenges at school and in their personal lives as well. The Soul City initiative, which includes the Soul Buddyz multi- media programme, is specifically targeted at children, in middle childhood, as well as being a classroom resource for use in Grade Seven. The stories relate to children and their everyday experiences. In outcomes-based education, according to Soul Buddyz (2000:vii), the emphasis is on what the learner will learn rather than the information that the teacher will cover in the classroom, thus offering an integrated approach to learning.
Schools are public places in which bereaved children may grieve. Schools cannot compensate for children's severe losses, and teachers cannot ease children's grief alone. Schools, however, must become aware that children living through bereavement may experience various emotional reactions to grief during the school day. Woo & Wong (2003) argued that children may become preoccupied with thoughts of their deceased parent or primary caregiver during lessons. When children are discouraged or prevented from expressing grief, this may impact on other aspects of their development and their school performance in particular. London, cited in Lourens (2004) highlighted the need for schools to become emotionally safe places by taking the initiative to implement programmes to protect, strengthen and support children against the ravages of social disorganisation and family collapse.
Kroen (1996) and Abrams (2000) concurred that in order to create as much stability for the grieving child outside of the home it is advisable for the child to return to school as soon as possible. Newman (2000) argued that children at different ages may experience their involvement with teachers in different ways - children learn that a secure relationship can serve as a base from which one can safely seek help. Teachers are not expected to be experts in dealing with grieving children, but they are an important factor in identifying early warning signs that may indicate that the child is experiencing difficulties.
During the grieving process, children weighed down by sorrow and anguish may experience difficultly maintaining mental focus or express anxiety in restlessness. Hence, the support structure of school life is invaluable while the child is grieving. Teachers can play a supportive role in assisting the child adjust to the loss while in the school environment by, for instance, modifying the child's work load or homework assignments shortly after the bereavement. When a bereaved child shows emotional distress in the classroom, the teacher can take them aside, acknowledge their sadness and reassure them, allow them to cry and given them time to calm down. According to Worden (1996), it is not uncommon for children to become preoccupied with their thoughts, have more concentration problems, become forgetful, or be unprepared for class during the early stages of grief. This is a normal response to grief, and children may become anxious if they are not informed that this is a temporary situation. Worden (1996) cautioned against the assumption that bereaved children will develop learning difficulties as a consequence of bereavement. School-related stress should also be addressed and appropriate help should be provided for academic difficulties. Teachers should be discouraged from becoming impatient or insensitive towards bereaved children by telling them that they have had
long enough to mourn, or its time to move on, or act as if nothing has happened in the child's life.
Woo & Wong (2004) and Kroen (1996) concurred that children do not like to feel "different"
from their peers, because of their need to feel accepted. A bereaved child may avoid discussing the death of a parent/primary caregiver at school with their peers because they may not wish to feel different. This decision may be interpreted by the child as proof of having control over her or his life. If the bereaved child has been transferred to a new school, then they may never share this life altering experience with others in order to be seen as being in control of their lives. This is where the teacher will play a significant role in making the child feel safe enough to communicate their feelings with people who care. Harris-Hendricks et al (2000) agreed that a society and school which educates children about death and dying will be better placed to help all bereaved children.
Historically, though, schools have not assumed that most school learners will be bereaved or will be grieving. School systems, too, are not historically set up to help bereaved children who are grieving the loss of a parent/primary caregiver. South African schools should be prepared to help bereaved learners work through grief, especially with the escalating numbers of young children faced with the death of a parent/primary caregiver. Orphan and vulnerable children require the support of teachers or support staff at their schools, instead of being allowed to grieve on their own. Many children, according to Lourens (2004:9), are not experiencing loving primary relationships, which are essential to a child's development of self. Hence, the need exists to use every opportunity possible to create safe places, like classrooms, where children can be supported and strengthened.
2.10.2. The school environment as a support system for grieving children
School libraries can be a valuable source of information for learners, by providing age and language appropriate literature on children and grief. This should be available for learners to read themselves, or with a friend, parent, teacher or school counsellor so that they may improve their understanding about death and dying. According to Schneider, cited in Soul Buddyz (2000:102):
Unless the loss aspect of a change event is recognised and acknowledged and support for grieving and resolving is received, the change event becomes and remains a source of stress.
Soul Buddyz (2000) recommended that teachers should not to let their own attitude about death and dying prevent them from discussing this topic in the classroom, or respond punitively with negative comments. If school personnel are prepared to offer support to children who are working through grief, children will understand that grief is a natural, normal and healthy response to death. When children know that school personnel care and are available if need be, to listen or to share, such intervention services will not only assist the child in coping with their own loss but also equip the child with skills to support others who may encounter similar experiences. Support is based on caring and friendship, not therapy.