CONCLUSIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS
4.2. MAIN CONCLUSIONS
4.2.2. Impacts of grief on psychosocial development and school performance 1. Childhood grief and psychosocial development
personality testing was conducted, it did appear that respondents with better coping and life skills exhibited more resilience, and, hence, had more positive grief reactions. The conclusion which was drawn was that developing children's resilience prepares them to grieve healthily.
4.2.1.9. The prevalence of uncomplicated grief
Worden's (2001) 4 Tasks of Mourning, Kubler-Ross' (1984) 5-Stage model of Grief, and Wolfelt's (2001) 6 Needs of Understanding Children and Grief, have contributed much to improving our understanding children and grief in Western, Judeo-Christian societies. Research on childhood bereavement from African and / or non-western cultural systems have not entered the mainstream as much as has Western research and theory. While thanatologists have documented the typical manifestations of grief, and have described the phases of and tasks related to human grief and the mourning process, one cannot assume such perspectives to be universal.
Noting that gap in the existing literature, it was still important to appreciate that thanatologists have distinguished between complicated and uncomplicated grief, and have identified a range of symptoms associated with each. Depression, thoughts of or attempts at suicide, negative self- worth, low self-efficacy, and a variety of psychosomatic symptoms over a sustained period of time were identified by Worden (1996) as risk predictors for complicated grief. None of the study's respondents exhibited any of those risk predictors. The conclusion drawn was that the respondents had experienced uncomplicated grief.
That did not mean that the respondents, who were children in middle childhood, had failed to exhibit typical childhood grief reactions or had not experienced intense emotions in response to their losses. Nightmares and being afraid to sleep were also identified by Worden (1996) as normal manifestations of grief in children in middle childhood. In this study, several respondents claimed that they had experienced sleep disturbances. Respondents had reacted to the death of a parent/primary caregiver by displaying a wide range of reactions associated with uncomplicated grief, which included: physical, cognitive, behavioural, and emotional manifestations of grief. What was apparent from the findings was that the majority of reactions were more prevalent in the months immediately following the bereavement, where the grief reactions varied in intensity and duration. The conclusions drawn from the respondents' descriptions of their own grief were that firstly, they had not grieved continuously, but did so periodically or intermittently, and secondly, that their grief reactions included a wide range of physical, emotional, behavioural and cognitive reactions. All of the identified reactions reported by the respondents were considered consistent with the definitions by thanatologists, such as Worden (1996), of normal, uncomplicated childhood grief.
4.2.2. Impacts of grief on psychosocial development and school performance
when a child is discouraged from expressing their grief, particularly the emotion of sadness, openly. During middle childhood, the emotion of fear is still present in a child's emotional life but, according to Beale & Baskin, in Louw et al (1998), a child is generally less fearful about his/her physical well-being, and more fearful about parental death. When a parent's death occurred, it would be understandable for that fear to intensify. The respondents in this study definitely did experience fear following the death of a parent/primary caregiver, and significantly, reported that after that bereavement, they were more fearful about the death of significant others in their lives, as well as their own death. As was consistent with Corr et al (2000), Kroen (1996), Worden (1996), Wolfelt (2001), and Woo & Wong (2003), this study's conclusion was that when children understood death in developmentally appropriate ways, they were more likely to be able to cope with and resolve their fears around death and dying.
Regardless of age or gender, the respondents who had developed a healthy balance between proficiency and competence were able to understand that death was a part of the natural life process. Those respondents expressed their grief-related emotions more openly, or asked for help if, and when, they felt the need to do so. Despite the loss, these respondents were less fearful of the future because they were confident that their needs would be taken care of by supportive significant others Respondents, on the other hand, who had feelings of inferiority, regardless of gender or age, were less likely to grasp the finality of death, or took much longer to adjust to the consequences of their loss. They were more likely to be dependent on others, and less likely to cope with stressful situations. These respondents were also fearful of the future despite having a supportive network of significant others to take care of their needs. The conclusion drawn from those findings was that each child grieved in his/her unique way, and expressed his/her emotions differently.
Importantly, twenty (20%) percent of respondents reported that they had experienced happy memories associated with the deceased. It was apparent from that, that respondents were able to differentiate between various emotions associated with grieving, and could label them accordingly, and understood why they had experienced such feelings. For example, when they felt sad they cried. Some respondents were able to "read" the facial expressions of others (who were grieving) and could understand why they felt that way.
4.2.2.2. Bereaved children in the school environment
Children in middle childhood, regardless of the environment or circumstances, have a strong need to be accepted because they do not want to feel "different" from their peers. Children without parents may feel "different" from those children with parents. The death of a parent, according to Kroen (1996:59), is often perceived by pre-adolescent children as something that brands them as "different." Fifty-two (52%) percent of the respondents claimed not to feel different about themselves on their return to school, compared with twenty-eight (28%) percent of respondents who did feel different. A tentative conclusion drawn from that is that bereavement does not necessarily mean a child feels different about themselves.
Ninety six (96%) percent of respondents indicated that the school should be informed of the death so that teachers "could tell the class" before the bereaved children returned to school. The significance of that is that bereaved children want their bereavement acknowledged by their school peers and teachers. They do not want to be invisible or silent mourners.
The study concluded that the reaction of the respondents' teachers and peers determined how respondents dealt with grief experiences in the school environment. For example: on the day
after the death of a respondent's parent (her other parent died during 2001), the class teacher informed the respondent that he was sorry to hear that her parent had died, and that she should
"get some toilet paper to blow your nose, get on with your school work, and your life." That example illustrated how a. teacher's insensitive response impacted negatively on the respondent's ability to mourn in the school environment. A second example is of a 13-year old male respondent who reported that when he felt sad in the classroom, he would ask to be excused so that he could go to the toilet to wash his face, drink some water and deal with his feelings in private. According to him, when this happened he felt very "alone" during the experience. Some of the other respondents indicated that if teachers "truly cared" or initiated conversations about the loss, they would willingly share their experiences with their teachers.
The conclusion drawn from that is that bereaved children will be less likely to express their grief openly in the school environment if teachers are perceived as unsupportive of that experience.
4.2.2.3. School attendance following bereavement
The study revealed that when the death of a parent/primary caregiver occurred during a school term, twenty eight (28%) percent of respondents took approximately one week off from school to attend funeral services and associated rituals. Of the seventy two (72%) percent of respondents who did not take time off from school following the bereavement, the following reasons were mentioned:
> twenty four (24%) percent of the deaths occurred during the school holidays,
> twenty (20%) percent of respondents did not attend the funeral service,
> twelve (12%) percent of funeral services took place on a Saturday,
> eight (8%) percent of respondents were not yet attending school,
> four (4%>) percent did not return to school for the rest of the school year following the bereavement, and
> four (4%) percent indicated that the deceased was buried as a pauper.
Three of the 25 respondents exhibited diminished school attendance following the death of a parent/primary caregiver; but the vast majority, eighty eight (88%) percent of respondents, reported that it had not impacted on the amount of time they were away from school. Based on that, it was concluded that there was no significant impact on respondents' overall school attendance following bereavement.
The majority of respondents reported that their caregivers had encouraged school attendance as soon as the funeral service and associated rituals had been finalised, so that respondents could return to a daily routine as soon as possible. The conclusion drawn from that was that the respondents, because they are children, were expected to "return to normal" far more quickly than would be expected of an adult. Currently, South African educational systems do not provide special or compassionate leave for bereaved children.
Returning to one's normal routine can, however, be supportive to the grieving child. Kroen (1996) claimed that doing so reduced the sense of disruption within and around them, and replaced a sense of hopeless with purpose within their daily lives. However, this study's respondents reported that they were anxious about returning to school after the bereavement
because they had to face teachers and peers, had to explain the situation, and were unsure how teachers and/or peers would think of and/or react to them. The conclusion which can be drawn from that is that returning to school was an anxiety-provoking experience for the respondents.
There is real possibility that their anxiety is justified because the school is not necessarily perceived by children in middle childhood to be an emotionally safe environment.
4.2.2.4. School performance following bereavement
Information about perceived changes in the respondents' school performances was collected from both teachers and the respondents, themselves. It was noted that there was generally a difference between the teachers' perceptions (as recorded in the school's records) and the respondents' responses in the interview. When looked at from the perspective of teachers, there was no correlation between poor school performance and bereavement. However, fifty two (52%) percent of respondents reported that they had experienced a lack of concentration during school time soon after the bereavement, and that had impacted on their school performance.
There are several conclusions drawn from those findings. Firstly, there was a discrepancy between teachers' observations and respondents' self-reported accounts of childhood bereavement in the school environment. That was a matter of concern, as is suggested that teachers were not aware of, or unable to acknowledge, the presence of grieving children in their classrooms. Secondly, the respondents were anxious about their own grief reactions and their impacts on their school performance. Unfortunately, respondents were not aware that the lack of concentration could be attributed to a temporary aspect of the grieving process. Worden (1996) and Woo & Wong (2003) have pointed out that it is not uncommon for bereaved children, especially boys, to experience some form of learning difficulties in the early months following the loss.
4.2.2.5. Behaviour at school and attitudes to school following bereavement
Once again, teachers' and respondents' reports of the respondents' behaviours differed.
Teachers claimed that there were no significant behavioural changes from either boys or girls following the bereavement. During interviews with respondents, however, the respondents revealed that initially they were anxious about how to behave towards their teachers, school personnel and/or peers on their return to school and how they would respond to them following the loss. The respondents described the changes in their own behaviours and thoughts in detail.
Eighty (80%) percent of respondents experienced thoughts about the deceased during classes.
Twenty eight (28%) percent of girls, and twenty (20%) percent of boys hid their feelings from others. Twenty (20%) percent of boys requested permission to leave the classroom so that they could express their feelings in private. Sixteen (16%) percent of girls, compared to twelve (12%) percent of boys, chose to sit quietly in the classroom until they regained control over their feelings. The conclusion drawn from that was that teachers were unaware of the fact that there were grieving children in the classroom, and, were unaware of how an individual child was grieving in his/her own unique way.
Lourens (2004) has cautioned that without proper understanding of a child's circumstances, a teacher may identify grieving behaviour and actions as those of a "problem child", and may assume the child needs to be reprimanded. Woo & Wong (2003) argued that when a bereaved child's feelings were validated, this taught the child to express those feelings in appropriate ways, regardless of the environment. The findings of this study concurred with Kroen's (1996)
view that being patient with a grieving child in the school environment is not tantamount to condoning inappropriate behaviour.
With regard to the issue of attitude to school, it was noted that a small minority of the respondents experienced a positive change in their attitudes towards school following the loss, and that resulted in an improvement in their academic performance. Those respondents claimed that they wished to "honour" the memory of the deceased parent/primary caregiver by improving on their school performance. Given the scope of this study, it can be concluded that the death of parent/primary caregiver does not always impact negatively on overall school performance. It was also concluded that when some disruption was experienced, that the short- term disruption did not necessarily imply a long-term or permanent disruption in school performance following bereavement.