CHAPTER 4: NOTIONS OF MASCULINITY IN THE ERA OF HIV/AIDS
4.2 The notion of ‘Manhood’
In order to obtain the dominant notions of manhood and womanhood in the study sites, the following questions were asked of both men and women: “In your opinion, what characteristics are most valuable in a ‘man’ or ‘woman’?” “To be a ‘real man or real woman’ what are you supposed to be? Do you conform to these expectations? Are men today, different from men in the past? Are woman today different from women in the past?”
The perspective of men
The findings from the focus group discussions and in-depth interviews show that most men and women subscribe to traditional notions of masculinity. According to stereotypical notions of
‘manhood’, men are required to assume economic responsibility for their family. It is of a particular interest that having children not only gives men a certain sense of pride in being able to reproduce children, which is a symbol of virility, but also it gives him social status which, in turn, leads to community recognition.
During focus group discussions and in-depth interviews, almost all men reported that having a wife and being able to father children as well as having a house are the most important defining elements of manhood. In addition, the pressing need to have or reach such characteristics seems to be more for social and community reasons rather than for individual ones, since it is necessary for a man to be recognised by the community as “a real man”.
“You are a real man when you have a wife and children. You must have children so that people will see that you are a man. I see myself as a real man. Because I have my own house, a wife and I have got a son.”
(Rural married male, IDI # 12)
The ability to reproduce children per se might not be enough to conform to the traditional notion of manhood. It is essential also for a ‘real’ man to have visible signs of his economic status,
including owning his own home in which he will exert his power and authority. This notion of manhood is illustrated in the quotes below.
“A real man is the one who has a good financial situation. He must have either money or a house. If he does not have this, he becomes almost invisible, worthless”.
(Rural married male, IDI # 17)
“To be regarded as a real man a person must have a place to live, a family. I think that the person must work to have a good financial situation. He must have some resources and to have resources he must have a good business”.
(Urban non married male, IDI # 15)
This quotation highlights the awareness of the respondent of the criteria needed to be perceived as a ‘real’ man. The criteria include, among others, having a place to live – for example, a home or homestead. However, respondents point out that is difficult to fulfill such expectations particularly because of the high levels of unemployment in the study sites. The respondent further explained that few people are employed, therefore, only few people are in a position to conform to traditional notions of manhood. These quotations seem to suggest that a significant number of men do not feel entirely comfortable in conforming to the traditional notions of masculinity, leading to frustrations and anxieties which in turn may have a negative impact on their relationships with their female partners.
Although most respondents agreed that a ‘real’ man must have material possessions to earn the respect of his community, one male respondent, however, took a slightly different position when outlining the defining feature of a “real man”. According to this respondent, having a family (i.e.
a wife and children) is the most important feature of being a “real man” rather than having material possessions. He argues that although material possessions are important in defining manhood, it is not enough because sometimes a woman can have more money than a man. This suggests that manhood is defined by characteristics which should somehow be exclusive to men.
“Look, I regard myself as a ‘real’ man. To be a man it is not about having money, because even women can have more money than men. So, what is needed is to have children.
What is taught to a boy is that you have to marry a woman, have a boy child to perpetuate the family name”
(Rural married male, IDI # 14) This quote is insightful not only because it highlights the sexual aspect of manhood, but also it points out a very important issue in the definition of manhood, that is, the idea of perpetuating a lineage, a task generally assumed to be handed to men in patrilineal societies. Women bear the
“passive role” of conceiving men’s children, and male children in particular. It expresses the idea that the man is seen as the most important member of the family. Some respondents feel that having a girl child is not the same as having a boy child. A girl child girl is “less important”
because she does not determine the perpetuation of the family lineage because a girl child is supposed to procreate and perpetuate another family lineage but not that of her fathers. Such perceptions may have a serious impact on gender relations and inequalities. Of interest in the quote is that although money means power in the sense that it gives access to resources, particularly economic goods and social prestige, the respondent observes that money alone does not define a ‘real’ man. Therefore, from the respondent’s point of view what is peculiarly crucial for a man is to be able to father children in order to be regarded as a real man. The idea that money is not central to defining manhood can be an indirect recognition of the changes in society which has led to more women entering the labour force and achieving financial successful.
Meanwhile, although traditional gender role norms and stereotypes still determine the interactions of men and women - men as providers and women as caregivers, other qualities emerged during the interviews. For many men, for instance, it is also understood that is important for them to have a formal education or some kind of economic and financial status that will make them, as one respondent observed, ‘visible’ in society.
“Most of my friends say the higher education you have the better for you. One other thing is that people see you differently if you have a good job. School and employment are two important factors, if you do not have them, you may even have friends but they will try to put you aside because you did not study. If you have these two things, then people will regard you as a man”.
(Urban non-married males, FGD # 18)
This is of particular interest because it shows that the notions which define manhood (also womanhood) are dynamic and may incorporate new values and norms within a society. For example, while employment provides a source of income, it is intricately linked to ‘traditional’
notions of masculinity. In addition, higher education seems to be part of the new values defining a man. Education is seen as assigning men greater social status in the community. This is significant because education is viewed as key to greater economic mobility.
Furthermore, some respondents highlighted some of the moral values which are also understood as important defining elements of manhood. These include honesty, social responsibility, and politeness to all members of the community but above all, being a role model for children.
“A ‘true’ man is a respected man. Here, in this area, a man is the one who respects the elders, has friendships with everybody, and it does not matter if they are young or old. I have relationships with almost everybody here and I am proud of that”.
(Urban non-married male, IDI # 16)
Studies have shown that the notion of public respect is central in many sub-Saharan African societies and elsewhere (Parikh, 2007; Hirsch et al., 2007). In contrast, in this quote the respondent highlights the notion of respect as an essential element which defines real manhood.
Meanwhile, it should also be noted that the respondent emphasizes that respect should be cross generational. Thus, a real man shows respect to everyone regardless of age. In this regard, one respondent stated that he is proud of being regarded as a respectful man in the community.
Some men explained that it is acceptable for men to engage in multiple sexual partnerships because it is a part of their culture. However, they were very critical of women with multiple sexual partners. Women with multiple sexual partners are labelled prostitutes. This finding is supported by research in other parts of Africa. For instance, Orubuloye et al. (1995) argue that African culture has always recognized the male need for, and right to, multiple sexual partners and they point to polygynous marriage as one aspect of societal acceptance of this point.
“A man can have more than one sexual partner because we should not confuse polygamy with prostitution. In our culture, even here in Manhiça, there are men with two women, and we cannot say that it is not a cultural practice. We cannot run away from culture”
(Rural married male, IDI # 12)
Moreover, it seems that men are somewhat aware of the double standard which pervades gender relations in society. They even describe the advantages that men enjoy in sexual relationships in their society as well as the extent to which the very same society is harsh towards women.
“According to culture, a man is allowed to have more than one partner, but this does not exist for women. A woman with many sexual partners gets a bad reputation in the society. They call her a lot of names, and if she is somebody’s wife it gets worse”.
(Rural married males, FGD # 12)
Strikingly, for some men, multiple sexual partners are as important as having a balanced diet. The men explained that just as it was important to taste a variety of dishes men need to have many sexual partners in order to remain healthy.
“I will not deny that I have had some adventures. Not because my partner does not satisfy me, but there are such things. When I have conversation with friends we use to say ‘eating rice everyday is harmful to the health: eating rice today, tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow is not good. We must have a balanced diet”.
(Urban married males, FGD # 14)
Some men believe that sexual intercourse with multiple partners is a prerequisite for good health.
Sex with many partners is seen as a key component of good health, this is consistent with other studies conducted among young men in South Africa which found that many young men feel that sexual activity is important for them to maintain good health and ‘prevent insanity’ (Leclerc- Madlala, 2002). Male peer groups have an important role to play in perpetuating these beliefs.
Some men achieve masculine status through their sexual prowess.
The perspective of women
Women in both the urban and rural area also subscribe to traditional notions of masculinity. For most women, the man is the primary breadwinner and head of the family and this is the most important and defining characteristics of true manhood. This sentiment was expressed during both focus group discussions and in-depth interviews as illustrated in the quote below.
“He has to take care of the children, he must build a house, getting us food, getting us clothes and helping with school material”
(Rural non-married females, FGD # 05)
This quote highlights the gender roles that exist in society which assigns men the role of breadwinners and providers. As the respondents highlighted, a man should provide shelter as well as food for his family. It is noteworthy that the respondents included the formal education of the children as part of male responsibility. This may suggest that respondents in the study sites understand the role which formal education plays in modern society. For example, one of the strongest expectations parents manifested during focus group discussions and in-depth interviews was to see their children, regardless of their gender, educated and employed which is an important indicator of positive change in society and may have a positive impact on the sexual and reproductive health of future generations of both young men and women.
On the other hand, it is also of particular interest to note that the notion of manhood is not only defined from the perspective of social duties and obligations within the family and society but also through the economic role that men play in the household. Thus, as some men previously indicated, some women also share the idea that men gain their identity by their involvement in activities which generates income for their family. During focus group discussions and in-depth interviews some women reiterated the view that a real man must go to work or have an occupation and feed his family.
“For me, to be a real man, a man must work. He must have respect for his household. He must have a real life, where the basic needs of the family are met and the man and the woman play their social roles: me as wife and mother, and him as my husband and the father of our children.”
(Rural married females, FGD # 06)
Again, the issue of respect is highlighted in the above quote. Important to note in the quote is the meaning of respect for these women. For the respondents, respect encompasses two important features. The first is related to fidelity to sexual partner. Thus a man who is faithful to his wife is regarded as respectful of his relationship. The second feature is related to the fulfillment of traditional gender roles, particularly the role of husband and wife in the relationship. In this regard, a woman is a wife and sometimes a mother and she should act accordingly. Similarly, a man is a husband and sometimes a father, and therefore it is expected that he too should behave accordingly.
Meanwhile, is noteworthy that both infidelity and domestic violence do not form part of notions of manhood. This is of particular importance because it reveals that women value healthy and non-violent relationships. Some studies have shown that generally the relationships between men and women are marked by violence and abuse such that some women tend to view this as integral part of relationship (Wood and Jewkes, 2001).
“A real man, when the sun rises, goes to work. He comes back from work and meets his wife, chats with her; that is a real man, a good family leader. A real man does not go to bars or beats his wife. A good man gives money to his wife, not to lovers”.
(Urban married females, FGD # 03)
As can be seen from the above quote, while a ‘real man’ is defined in terms of qualities already mentioned by other respondents, the women in this focus group also argue that a ‘real man’ does not engage in practices that are harmful to women. For these women, practices such as violence against women and infidelity do not define a real man. This seems to contradict some perceptions of the practices of a real man, which although not publicly defended, are still socially tolerated.
Such practices include violence against women and unsafe sexual networking which are perceived as important features of masculinity (Wood and Jewkes, 2001; Varga, 1997; 2003;
Blanc, 2001) This is an interesting departure from traditional notions of manhood which is usually characterized by violence, including sexual violence and risk taking attitudes towards the adoption of a more responsible and caring manhood (UNFPA, 2000).
Furthermore, for some young women, apart from a man having to sustain his wife and his children, a “real man” also has to be approachable. For some young women, an approachable, friendly man is much more preferable than a rude and violent man who is only interested in controlling the woman. Thus, for some young women possessing good inter-personal and communication skills is seen as very critical for men. In addition, being sensitive to women’s needs is also viewed as an important defining feature of the modern man. The quotes below seem to illustrate these perceptions.
“A real man is the one who is a partner, a friend, a person who is able to handle problems with his wife, who knows how to help her, understand her”.
(Urban married female, IDI # 05)
“For me, a real man is one who carries his duties as a man, because there are some people who are men because God made them men, but they do nothing to show that they are men. As a woman, I think a man should be a companion, must be someone who understands me. He chats with me as his partner. He should respect me. He should have a consideration of me; that is how I think we can define a real man”
(Urban non-married females, FGD # 10)