PART IV DATA ANALYSIS
CHAPTER 6 TRADITIONAL CULTURAL BELIEFS AND PRACTICES
6.5 THE ROLE OF WOMEN
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Tegra: Her parents may send her to the boy‟s place so that she suffers because people say: „a person who is not educated by his parent, the world will educate her.‟ She has to go there to understand how other people suffer. If it is to suffer she has to suffer so that she understands what life is all about. Then, she will come back home to ask her parents to forgive her. (Urban girls, Mushere)
But the consequences for girls, as we have seen, can be far greater than for boys, especially if he denies responsibility:
Cytia: A boy who is a student maybe does not even have anything but he keeps having sex.
That is not good; he does not understand the consequences of his acts. He impregnates a girl, and he does not have a place where to bring her. He does not; he wants her to live in the street.
No, it is not possible. (Urban girls, Mushere)
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Pascal: …especially here in the village, women neglect themselves and only know one thing that is to farm. If a woman adds to this one, she does business. (Rural boys, Karhanda)
Leopold: I also want to say about what Pascal has just said. Females neglect themselves, and most parents often say that they cannot bring girls to school because they do not need to get degrees. When they [girls] get a matric, their parents stop them studying at university. They believe that their daughters will misbehave at university. A parent may allow her to study in order to become a nurse, but he does not allow her to study law. (Rural boys, Karhanda)
On the one hand, boys recognise that women are family well-being and shape children‟s education. At the same time, traditions remain a hindrance for women‟s development as illustrated by United States Department of State (2009) which reports that while the Congolese family code recognizes equality between spouses, it effectively renders a married woman a minor under the guardianship of her husband,"
by stating that the wife must obey her husband.
In addition to ways of thinking that relegate women to a position of inferiority, there are other obstacles, such as the interference of the extended family in a couple‟s life.
Men can in indeed contribute to the household tasks as shown in Rakgoasi‟s (2010) study of men in Botswana. Many men contributed within the safety and limits of the household, away from peering eyes of other men who might negatively view them.
Men showed that if they were to do female chores such as cleaning the house, bathing children and doing the laundry, they prefer to do these tasks in private so as not to damage their social status.
Pascal indicates that females in villages only know one or two things – especially, farming. A lack of motivation on the part of women, as well as a lack of skills. Sons are traditionally more valuable than daughters. Investing in a daughter‟s education is a loss because they may soon leave their parental family to join their husband. It is better to invest in boys because they do not leave the family though they get married.
6.5.1 „A WOMEN‟S DEGREE WILL END IN THE KITCHEN‟
Girls were very aware of the discrimination against them.
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Natasha: There is much violence against women in our community…apart from forced sex there is another kind of violence that people minimise through that violence women are underestimated. Most of my boyfriends tell me: „my wife will remain unemployed; her degree will end in the kitchen. If it is French, she will be teaching it to her children at home‟. This is violence as well because they violate my right may be in life I will become a governor or somebody. (Urban girls, Imani Panzi)
Gail: A woman is not only obliged to remain in the kitchen, but she has the right to work everywhere like others [men] and should have the same rights as men. We must have the same positions and jobs; we are not obliged to stay in kitchen but to join males as well. (Urban girls, Imani Panzi)
Judith: There is violence in our community. Parents discriminate children in the family, where there are boys and girls; more consideration is given to boys than girls. Education is more privileged to boys than girls; I mean parents prefer to send boys to school than girls. (Rural girls, Rwabika Kabuga)
Most men are authoritarian and perceive a well-educated woman to be uncontrollable and difficult to impose their will upon. Connell‟s (2003) study found that a Congolese man is required to be strong, dominant, decisive, aggressive, and controlling as the head of a household and his wife should be submissive, quiet, nurturing and docile in his custody. Wood et al (2008) found that in the minds of South African young men, their female peers are unequivocally inferior. Young men‟s talk was described with comments like “a woman is someone who is left behind,” “a woman is weak by nature,” and “it is the way it was created.”
Hierarchical sexual difference is also something that many young men described as cultural, both explicitly using the words “ it‟s our culture,” and they described it as an aspect of life in which they grew up simply “knowing.” Natasha also mentions that such an attitude can hinder females‟ right to chart their own destiny. From a cultural perspective, men are socialised in thinking they are in charge and that women‟s place is in the kitchen. They are afraid of losing control of their wives if they were to engage in a career, which may cause her to engage in unfaithful behaviour.
Gail disapproves and indicates that a woman is not only obliged to remain in the kitchen. She must also apply for same job that her counterpart male applies to. Men
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and women must be allowed to occupy same job positions, so a woman is not just condemned to remain in the kitchen.
6.5.2 DECISION-MAKING MAKER
The man is the head of the family and makes the decisions.
Baraka: The head of the family is the man. A woman can only respond to questions or take decision after a man has brought his opinions. It is at this stage that she can speak. (Urban boys, Imani Panzi)
Gustave: I know that for decision-making in the household, the woman has the responsibility or she can also decide in the household, but that decision is limited. She can only decide among those who are inferior to her. (Rural boys, Rwabika Kabuga)
Aimer: It is the man who takes decision because for everything the man and woman can do, he is the only one who can decide. For example, for employment, if he has a nice job, he can stop his wife from working because he is able to provide her everything. (Rural boys, Karhanda)
Leopold: Here in the village a woman cannot decide when a man decides. If a man decides and his wife dare oppose his decision, she risks being told to funga mikeka [pack her stuff]
and go back to her family. [In town they might] exchange ideas and conclude together, but here [in Kavumu] this is not done in this way. Men do not observe what the constitution stipulates about women. (Rural boys, Karhanda)
The Congolese Family Code articles 444 and 445 states that the husband is the head of the household, these articles conflict with article 16 (1) (c) 31 of the UN Convention, which gives the same rights and duties to wives during marriage and at its dissolution (CEDAW, 2004). Refugee Council (2004) confirms that in the DRC, males do not consider females as their equals in terms of work or decision-making.
Men make the important decisions in the family and women are expected to follow them. If the husband is ruled absent by a court, or if he dies, the wife must share the running of the household with one of her husband‟s relatives. The situation of women within marriage is thus supported by law. Congolese family code article 322 refers to article 198 obliges a woman to be accompanied by her husband‟s relative in the absence of her husband when dealing with issues relating to her authority over her
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little children. Sathiparsad‟s (2006) study conducted of rural young men in KwaZulu- Natal South Africa found that although young men demonstrate that the household should be characterised by equity, they also state that a man must come first.
Leopold indicates that in the village a woman cannot amend or contest a decision that has been taken by her husband. If she does, she risks being sent to her family. In fact, Leopold disapproves of such a practice, and suggests that women should be given the right of expressing their opinions and making decisions. The fact that they are not given this right may be found in Rakgoasi‟s (2010) Botswana research, where some male participants felt that equality within the household would compromise their ability to make resolute decisions and lead to impasses on important decisions.
During focus group discussions, most female participants revealed a similar opinion concerning decision-making.
Jemima: The one who must take decision in the household is the father; in case the father is no longer alive the mother can take decision. (Urban girls, Imani Panzi)
Furaha: It is the man who should take decision in the household. A woman should only take decision in the absence of her husband. (Rural girls, Rwabika Kabuga)
Nsimire: The husband must decide in the household; if the husband is absent then the wife will take the responsibility. The husband should decide even though they do not agree on that decision. He will first decide then the wife will agree later. (Rural girls, Karhanda)
6.6 AN OVERVIEW OF TRADITIONAL CULTURAL BELIEFS AND