CHAPTER 5: HETERO- AND HOMONORMATIVE INFLUENCES ON GAY AND
5.3 Findings
5.3.5 Debating the link between sexual orientation, gender and sex
5.3.5.1 The link between biological sex and gender
First, participants were asked if they thought there should be a link between their gender and their biological sex. Henry and Max were the only two participants who said there was a link. Henry stated:
…shared characteristics [for instance biological sex], just naturally do develop into a shared cultural identity [for instance, gender]. It's an inherently human thing. I do think we are moving [in certain cultures] towards a looser link which allows those who don't associate with a particular gender just because of their sex, to associate with a different gender(s). The fact that a trans man, through biologically [at least partially] physically born male, is brought up with the expectation of having a masculine gender, doesn't necessarily reject all possible genders but trades one for another, leads me to suspect that the link between gender and sex should definitely be looser, but to say that no such link should exist, would be a type of over-compensation [and unrealistic].
On the one hand, Max (gay) believed that some “biological traits” – that is, having a penis and the inability of men “to become pregnant and carry a baby” – make a clear distinction between men and women and the accompanying societal expectations in this regard. Although there might be this link between one’s sex and gender, he believed that this “does not have to prescribe the way in which we conduct our everyday life”. He continued:
…I believe that people should acknowledge biological differences and the effects it has on our gendered roles and interaction in society, but it doesn’t mean that just because I am biologically male, I cannot be gendered female in a way where I can have big muscles and a penis, but still cry when I watch movies and share my innermost feelings with my friends and not make inappropriate jokes about sex. In the end all I’m trying to say is that we should
get to a point where people realise that your biological sex and your gender are two different things.
On the other hand, all other participants reported that they did not think there was a link between their gender and biological sex. Ndlovu (lesbian) commented that the link between gender and sex is “often expected” because “that is what we were always taught” – an idea Yellow (lesbian) also mentioned. Padro (homosexual) stated that biological sex should not govern “how one should carry themselves”. He continued that “sex, gender and sexual orientation should not be placed in the same box, yes, they do relate but they are not always so and certainly not the same”. Richy echoed this. He believed “gender and gender expression should never be put into a box. Every person should be as masculine, androgynous or as feminine as they want – regardless of [their]
sex”. This idea was also relevant in the responses of Bambi, Granger, IDK, Lee, Martha, Ndlovu, Sienna and Yellow. Bambi (pansexual) stated that “masculinity and femininity [gender] are simple character straits and has nothing to do with your sex”. Sienna, on the other hand, considered this supposed link to be:
… quite inconsequential, quite bullshit to think that just because I’m a woman I need to act like it. I like many things that would be considered more manly or boys’ things. I like gaming and as a kid I like to wrestle with the boys and play with the boys. Don’t get me wrong I still enjoy girly things now like makeup and getting my nails done but I don’t want anyone telling me I’m supposed to like these things simply because I’m a girl. I find that kind of thinking very oppressive.
Yellow (lesbian) thought that a “biologically born male” does not have to “act like other guys and do the masculine thing if it’s not you. I mean it might be easier to try and blend with other, but then isn’t that hurting you in the long run?” IDK (lesbian) did not think that “boys should play sports and work in construction because they are ‘stronger’, whereas girls should stay home and raise the kids because they have a ‘maternal instinct’”. Participants exemplified this notion in their personal reflections of their everyday lives. Lee (lesbian) recalled her experiences as female: “I appear very feminine, but my traits are actually more masculine even in the way I dress. I also have my days where I want to be more feminine”. Eric, Granger and May commented that
“stereotypes” (Eric, Granger) and “standards” (May) upheld the link between gender and sex. May (pansexual) spoke to the reinforcement of heteronormativity through these standards:
Masculine and feminine societal standards are always changing and being influenced. They’re not nearly as static, fixed, and biologically inherent as its proponents would like others to think it is. All that these standards do is to make
people feel uncomfortable in their own skin, and re-indoctrinate people into a heteronormative, often misogynistic way of thinking. Times change. Women aren’t property. Men aren’t and shouldn’t be emotionally dead. The Earth is on fire, capitalism is slowly squeezing the life out of ninety-nine percent of the world’s population, and we have so many more things to worry about than if Teddy wears a skirt and Lucy plays rugby.
In keeping with the above quote, other participants (Bernice, Brett, Carol, Edgar, Eric, Heidi, Hein, Ikai, Lindsey, Martha, Matthew, Mukwevho, Ndlovu, Richy, Skylar) supported the notion that someone should be able to “choose” how they want to “present” or “express” their gender, speaking to a liberating approach to transgress normativity. Carol (bisexual) noted the difference between gender and sex, as “one is biological and the other is a preference”. Ndlovu (lesbian) thought “it’s more important for someone to express themselves in a way that they feel is comfortable, rather than expressing themselves in a certain way just because it is expected”. Ikai (gay) stated that “every person has the right to live the way they want and present themselves in the world in their own views”.
Edgar (gay) argued that “one can act completely different from the norms provided by your sex”.
Gender, according to him, “is defined by you only and it should be as you wish”. Somewhat conversely, however, Hein (gay) provided a dualistic view. He noted, “anyone can act in any way that they please” and then added, “as long as it’s appropriate in society”. Consider Brett’s (gay) response, relatable to the fluidity of gender:
Sometimes you feel disconnected to your own body. Your feelings and emotions feel different from that what you typically expect from your gender group. You are in charge of your own body and emotions and therefore can choose how you want to react to certain things. In some cases, I would react more masculine to something and the other time my feminine side would kick in with the reaction.
In support, Bernice (lesbian) argued that gender is a “expression of how you feel, so you can be a male an act feminine and vice versa”. Heidi (bisexual) deemed gender a “mindset” focussed on
“self-expression” as well as how someone “feels” comfortable. This is also echoed in Mukwevho’s response:
…because I have seen men who are straight but they [sic] just soft. Like you will see them soft. They don’t like present [sic] the whole masculine thing that we think people are supposed to act. So, like, I personally think that it doesn’t have to be that way. Everyone is supposed to express themselves fully to who
they are, and I don’t think a man being soft is something that society has to view as a bad thing. It’s just who you are.
Jennifer (bi-curious) noted experiencing such limitations or “limited potential” in her “personal”,
“social” and “professional spheres”. She recalled applying for insurance with her “Dr” title “instead of Mrs or Miss” and said, “the brokers automatically noted my gender as male, presumably because they don’t automatically think of women as potential Doctors”. Her encounter highlights heteronormative stereotypes, where men are expected to portray the “role” of the breadwinner and women that of caretaker. Tanya (lesbian) believed society has become “too modern” to rely on “sex as primary determinate” and “should allocate tasks on merit and capability” instead.
As is evident from the preceding discussion, it is clear that the participants’ responses mainly leant towards an understanding of gender as fluid and not necessarily as associated with one’s biological sex.
5.3.5.2 Towards or beyond the cisgender model on campus: Students’ perspectives