CHAPTER 5: HETERO- AND HOMONORMATIVE INFLUENCES ON GAY AND
5.6 The overarching campus as (non-)normative
The above section focussed on exploring the interactions between the participants and heterosexual students (as it relates to heteronormativity) as well as with other gay and lesbian students (as it relates primarily to homonormativity) on campus. This section discusses how the participants navigated the campus environment when interacting with other gay and lesbian students.
5.6.1 The gay and lesbian watering hole(s)
Participants were asked whether they preferred to engage with their gay and lesbian friends on or off campus.
Although some participants commented on the convenience and access to others akin to their sexual orientation on campus (Henry, Lindsey, May, Sienna), other participants rather spent time with their gay and lesbian friends off campus. Bernice (lesbian), Brett (gay), Edgar (gay), Heidi (bisexual), Martha (lesbian), Padro (homosexual) and Richy (gay) felt they were less likely to experience homophobia off campus. Richy felt he was “far less likely to get ridiculed”. Padro stated his gay friends “favour[ed]” spending time off campus, specifically without “heterosexual”
presence to avoid “constantly feeling judged”. Bernice, Edgar, Heidi and Martha thought campus was not a safe space. Edgar did not find a safe space to “express” his personality. Similarly, off campus, Martha could “feel free” to be herself. Bernice stated that campus was “very conservative” and “Christian”, where “the possibility of a homophobic attack is high”. In this regard, Heidi argued spending time off campus allowed members to “freely discuss topics regarding our sexuality” as well as “couples” to show “they are in a relationship”. On the other hand, Brett did not think campus “[was] bad” and meeting off campus allowed him to “not feel judged” and “be physical” which would have otherwise been “uncomfortable”. Yellow (lesbian) thought “some people might not want to be seen on campus”.
IDK (white), Mukwevho (black) and Yellow (black) – all lesbian participants – indicated members might have had “conflicting schedules”, making it difficult to meet on campus. IDK spent time with her gay and lesbian friends “outside of office hours”. Bambi (pansexual) and Granger (lesbian) were instead focussed on their “academics” and “classes” when they were on campus. Ndlovu (lesbian) indicated spending time meeting off campus to attend “social” and “pride” events.
Participants also reported meeting off campus to avoid “crowds” (Tanya) and “too many people”
(Hein). Additionally, participants felt off campus was “more secluded” (Skylar) and “more comfortable” (Eric). Lee (lesbian) and Matthew (gay) argued spending time with their friends was not governed by sexuality.
5.6.2 “Doing gay and lesbian” off campus
Participants were accordingly asked how they acted around their gay and/or lesbian friends off campus. Bambi (pansexual) , Carol (bisexual), Edgar (gay), Eric (gay), Granger (lesbian), Heidi (bisexual), Hein (gay), Henry (gay), IDK (lesbian), Ikai (gay), Jennifer (bi-curious), Lindsey (pansexual), Max (gay), Mukwevho (lesbian), Richy (gay), Padro (homosexual), Sienna (lesbian) and Yellow (lesbian) reported acting the same both on and off campus, or in any other “context”.
Ikai always acted “one way”, which he described as “between masculine and feminine” – a thought echoed by Bambi. Padro acted the same with “family”, “strangers”, or “alone”. Edgar and Mukwevho said that they were just being themselves. Yellow did not want to “force” any other
“narrative” than her own. Eric did not “wish to continue” relationships with “people where I feel the need to act different”. While acting like himself, Hein made “more gay jokes and act out gay pop- culture more”. Similarly, Max and his friends could “openly express whether we find guys on TV physically attractive or not”.
Skylar (gay) and Lee (lesbian) only responded acting “normal”. Matthew (gay) responded he acted
“masculine and all straight” off campus, resembling notions of homonormativity. Resembling such notions, Yellow (lesbian) noted the expectations of lesbian individuals:
The stud lesbians, it’s like, you can’t wear a bra. You can’t wear certain earrings.
You just can’t act like a girl. You can’t act a certain way. Like I remember one time, this girl, like I was just wearing a shirt and then my pink bra was showing.
She was like ‘Yellow, are you wearing a bra?’ You ever see someone looking at you and be like, are you wearing a bra? And she’s a girl too! She’s maybe more masculine, but it’s like, are you wearing a bra?? Am I supposed to be wearing a sports bra all the time? No, I’m not doing that. Not all shirts work with it. I want to be comfortable with what I wear.
Similarly, Ndlovu (lesbian) stated acting more “masculine” off campus around her gay and lesbian friends. Lindsey (pansexual) responded “taking care” to “appear more androgynous”. Around their friends off campus, Martha (lesbian/queer), May (pansexual), Richy (gay) and Sienna (lesbian) felt they could act more like themselves. They felt “safe” (Sienna), “more relaxed” (May) and “more confident” (Richy) in their identities. Martha (Theology) did not have to “worry about holding [her]
girlfriend’s hand or talking about [her] personal life”. Around gay and lesbian individuals, May did not need to wonder “whether or not they’ll accept [her] first” as she did around straight individuals.
5.6.3 “Doing gay and lesbian” on campus
The participants were asked whether they felt they could express their identity around gay and/or lesbian individuals on campus. Only Bernice (lesbian), Edgar (gay), Martha (lesbian) and Max (gay) reported not feeling able to. Bernice and Edgar felt “queer individuals on campus” were
“judgemental” (Bernice), “too Afrikaans”, “white”, “racist” and “homophobic”. Edgar added, “it is difficult to be myself without hearing the occasional faggot”. Even though Lindsey (pansexual) felt comfortable expressing her identity, she, along with Max, spoke to the normative expectations the lesbian and gay communities on campus had. “They will actively encourage gay-coded behaviour but show less interest in your more heterosexual interests and traits” (Lindsey). Max sometimes “hid” his identity from other gay students “because otherwise they are going to come onto [him]” (sexually) or they would “bully” him for not being “rich or hot enough to be considered one of them”. If someone working in Martha’s (lesbian/queer) faculty (Theology) saw her, for example, “[holding] a girl’s hand”, she could lose her job.
Besides the above participants (excluding Lindsey), all other participants indicated feeling they could express their identities around other gay and lesbian individuals on campus, citing the community’s “acceptance” and “understanding”. Participants did not feel “judged” by gay and lesbian individuals on campus (IDK, Jennifer, Lee, Matthew). Lee added, “they won’t provide negative remarks”. Ikai described feeling “at home” around these individuals. Brett and Ndlovu – who were at the time both busy with Education degrees – described gay and lesbian individuals
on campus as “open-minded”. The gay and lesbian communities are seen as “accepting” because they “face difference every day” (Skylar), they “share experiences” (Sienna) and they are also part of “LGBT+ communities” (Heidi, May). Granger and Tanya described such individuals on campus as “supportive”. Tanya did not think “having a shared core identity as gay or lesbian”
meant one would find “acceptance”, “but it does improve your chances tenfold”. Eric and Yellow did not think all the gay and lesbian individuals on campus were supportive, but “with the right ones”, would “back you up”. Bambi and Henry reported expressing their identities, regardless “of the people around”. It gave Padro “freedom” to express himself to people.
In addition to “doing” their sexuality among their gay and lesbian counterparts, participants were asked whether they acted differently around their gay and/or lesbian friends than their heterosexual friends. Granger (lesbian), Hein (gay), IDK (lesbian), Jennifer (bi-curious), Lindsey (pansexual), Martha (lesbian), Sienna (lesbian) and Tanya (lesbian) indicated acting differently.
Although Mukwevho (lesbian), Richy (gay) and Yellow (lesbian) indicated that they did not act differently; they agreed with Hein (gay), IDK (lesbian), Jennifer, Martha (lesbian) and Tanya (lesbian) that they had different conversations with their gay and lesbian friends than with their straight friends. Richy thought “we may bond and talk about different things”. Hein and IDK could make different or “gay” (IDK) references like “comments” and references from “the popular show Drag Race [RuPaul’s Drag Race16]” (IDK). Mukwevho felt, as there were topics she could not talk to “straight people” about because they would not understand, there were “certain things we [gay and lesbian friends] will talk about and engage with because we’re the same” – a thought echoed by Yellow. Martha and Tanya felt they could talk about their “sexualities” and “personal lives” with their gay and lesbian friends “because of more shared life experiences and struggles” (Tanya).
Jennifer (bi-curious) felt she could use “jargon”, “memes” or “jokes” around her gay and lesbian friends which her straight friends might find “strange”, “unfamiliar” or “offensive”. Lindsey and May (both pansexual) and Sienna (lesbian) felt more “relaxed” around their gay and lesbian friends, whereas Lindsey felt “a bit like an outsider and tend to talk less” around her straight friends.
Sienna could be more “noisy”, “loud” and “silly”, as her friends offered her “a safe space”. Granger (lesbian) could be “more affectionate” with her “partner” around her gay and lesbian friends than with her straight friends.
Similar to Mukwevho, Richy and Yellow who indicated that they did not act differently around their gay or lesbian friends than around their straight friends, Bambi (pansexual), Brett (gay) Carol (bisexual), Edgar (gay), Eric (gay), Heidi (bisexual), Henry (gay), Ikai (gay), Lee (lesbian), Matthew (gay), Max (gay), Ndlovu (lesbian), Padro (homosexual) and Skylar (gay) also indicated
16 An American reality television show focussed on crowning “America’s next drag superstar” (Canavan, 2021:253).
not acting differently. Bambi, Edgar, Ikai, Mukwevho, Richy and Skylar acted the same with everyone. “I am gay regardless of who I’m with” (Ikai). Skylar did not believe in “putting up a façade”. Bambi did not “need” anyone in her life that did not “accept” her. Brett, Eric, Granger, Henry, Max, Ndlovu and Padro thought they did not need to change themselves – “as you grow as a person, you realise that” (Lee). All Ndlovu’s friends treated her “equally” and, as such, she did not feel “the need to act different”. Brett and Max’s straight friends knew they were “gay” and they were therefore not required to “act different”. Brett added he always tried to “facilitate” his straight friends “to be more open-minded to other gay friends”. Padro preferred to “observe before saying something”. Matthew did not need to act differently because he “naturally acts straight”.
Carol also stated that people could not determine her sexuality from her behaviour.
The following section focusses on how participants navigated the closet in spaces on campus (section G, Addendum B) and their experiences of discrimination (section F) in these spaces.