i AN ANALYSIS OF ACCURACY AND NATURALNESS IN THE TRANSLATION
VERSION OF CHAIRIL ANWAR POEMS
A THESIS
BY :
IRMA YANTI
REG. NO. 110705011
DEPARTMENT OF ENGLISH
FACULTY OF CULTURAL STUDIES
UNIVERSITY OF SUMATERA UTARA
iv Accepted by the Board of Examiners in partial fulfillment of requirements for the degree of Sarjana Sastra from Departement of English, Faculty of Cultural Studies University of Sumatera Utara, Medan.
The examination is held in Departement of English Faculty of Cultural Studies University of Sumatera Utara on April 15th, 2015
Dean of Faculty of Cultural Studies University of Sumatera Utara
Dr. H. Syahron Lubis, M.A. NIP. 195110131976031001
Board of Examiners
(signature)
1. Dr. H. Muhizar Muchtar, MS ...
2. Rahmadsyah Rangkuti, MA. Ph.D. ...
3. Dr. Matius CA. Sembiring, M.A. ...
4. Dr. Eddy Setia, M.Ed. TESP ...
v AUTHOR’S DECLARATION
I IRMA YANTI DECLARE THAT I AM THE SOLE AUTHOR OF THIS THESIS EXCEPT WHERE REFERENCE IS MADE IN THE POEM OF THIS THESIS. THIS THESIS CONTAINS NO MATERIAL PUBLISHED ELSEWHERE OR EXTRACTED IN WHOLE OR IN PART FROM A THESIS BY WHICH I HAVE QUALIFIED FOR OR AWARDED ANOTHER DEGREE. NO OTHER PERSON’S WORK HAS BEEN USED WITHOUT DUE ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS IN THE MAIN TEXT OF THIS THESIS. THIS THESIS HAS NOT BEEN SUBMITTED FOR THE AWARD OF ANOTHER DEGREE IN ANY TERTIARY EDUCATION.
Signed :
vi COPYRIGHT DECLARATION
NAME : IRMA YANTI
TITLE OF THESIS : AN ANALYSIS OF ACCURACY AND NATURALNESS IN THE TRANSLATION VERSION OF CHAIRIL ANWAR POEMS
QUALIFICATION : S-1/SARJANA SASTRA
DEPARTMENT : ENGLISH
I AM WILLING THAT MY THESIS SHOULD BE AVAILABLE FOR REPRODUCTION AT THE DISCRETION OF THE LIBRARIAN OF DEPARTMENT OF ENGLISH, FACULTY OF CULTURAL STUDIES, UNIVERSITY OF SUMATERA UTARA ON THE UNDERSTANDING THAT USERS ARE MADE AWARE OF THEIR OBLIGATION UNDER THE LAW OF THE REPUBLIC OF INDONESIA.
Signed :
vii ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
In the name of Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
First of all, the writer would like to thanks to Allah SWT for all favor and guidance in completing this thesis. All praise belongs to Allah, the greater of living things from being nothing to existence. Many solutions and benediction be upon the greatest prophet Muhammad SAW, his family, companions, and adherents realizes that surely owes such many people materially, morally, scientifically, and spiritually.
This thesis is presented to English Department Faculty of Cultural Studies University of Sumatera Utara, Medan as a partial of requirements for the degree of Sarjana Sastra.
On this occasion, the writer would like to give her dedicate to her parents, Musa and Zulfah, thanks so much for their attentions, their pure and big love, their support and for all of their contribution in the writer’s life especially in finishing this thesis. The writer will always love and pray for them.
The writer special thank is to her co-supervisor Marzaini Manday, Drs, MSPD the deepest gratitude for his guidance, helpul, correction, patient, cooperation, time, kindness, until some of this thesis completes. The writer thanks for all he has given to her, and may Allah SWT bless him and his family.
The writer also would like to express her trsut worthy gratitude to the following noble persons :
1. Dr. H. Syahron Lubis, M.A. as Dean of Faculty of Cultural Studies University of Sumatera Utara.
viii 3. Dr. Masdiana Lubis, M.Hum. as one of her lecturer for her guidance, correction,
cooperation and time until this thesis finishes.
4. All of the lecturers in English Department for their knowledgements during the writer study at University of Sumatera Utara.
5. The writer’s older brother Irfansyah Ramadhan and and her dearest sister in law Rahmayani Rokhan for always supporting to the writer in finishing this thesis.
6. The writer’s beloved grandmother Norma for her full support, attention, and prayers. 7. All of the writer’s beloved friends in English Department Faculty of Cultural Studies
University of Sumatera Utara especially Rabiatul Adawiyah, Indah Pratiwi, Maya Sopa and Rummy Hadina for giving spirit, motivation, and for helping the writer to finish this thesis.
8. The writer’s beloved friend Tresi for her time, kindness and helpful to finish this thesis. 9. Her especially thankfulness is directed to her dearest friend M. Safi’i S.H for his full
support, attention, motivation and prayers.
10.Particularly for all people that she could not mentioned in this thesis, thanks for everything and helping.
May Allah SWT, The Almighty and The Mercifull, blesses them all. The writer realizes that this thesis is still far from being perfect. Therefore, suggestions and criticisms will be accepted for the improvement of this thesis.
Medan, April 15th, 2015
The writer
ix ABSTRAK
Skripsi ini berjudul “An Analysis of Accuracy and Naturalness in the Translation Version of Chairil Anwar Poems”. Penelitian ini bertujuan untuk menganalisis keakuratan dan kealamiahan terjemahan ke empat puisi Chairil Anwar “Buat Gadis Rasid”, “Buat Nyonya N”, “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” dan “Puncak” yang diterjemahkan oleh Burton Raffel kedalam Bahasa Inggris. Penulis mengaplikasikan teori keakuratan dan ketidakakuratan yang diformulasikan oleh Larson (1984) serta teori kealamiahan dan ketidakalamiahan yang diformulasikan oleh Beekman dan Callow (1989). Penelitian ini dikaji dengan menggunakan metode deskriptif kualitatif. Data skripsi ini adalah semua kata, frasa dan kalimat yang terdapat di dalam ke empat puisi Chairil Anwar tersebut serta terjemahannya ke dalam Bahasa Inggris. Berdasarkan hasil penelitian, ditemukan pada puisi 1 : “Buat Gadis Rasid” yang di terjemahkan oleh Burton Raffel, terdapat 9 data yang akurat dan 9 data yang tidak akurat, kemudian berdasarkan data yang sama terdapat 14 data yang natural dan 3 data yang tidak natural. Pada puisi 2 : “Buat Nyonya N” yang di terjemahkan oleh Burton Raffel, terdapat 7 data yang akurat dan 9 data yang tidak akurat, kemudian berdasarkan data yang sama terdapat 10 data yang natural dan 5 data yang tidak natural. Pada puisi 3 : “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” yang di terjemahkan oleh Burton Raffel, terdapat 12 data yang akurat dan 8 data yang tidak akurat, kemudian berdasarkan data yang sama terdapat 12 data yang natural dan 8 data yang tidak natural. Dan pada puisi 4 : “Puncak” yang di terjemahkan oleh Burton Raffel, terdapat 7 data yang akurat dan 5 data yang tidak akurat, kemudian berdasarkan data yang sama terdapat 8 data yang natural dan 3 data yang tidak natural. Jadi, untuk menjadi seorang penerjemah itu tidaklah mudah, terutama menterjemahkan karya sastra.
x ABSTRACT
This thesis entitled with “An Analysis of Accuracy and Naturalness in the Translation Version of Chairil Anwar Poems”. The research is aimed to analyze the accuracy and naturalness in the translation of four Chairil Anwar poems “Buat Gadis Rasid”, “Buat Nyonya N”, “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” and “Puncak” by Burton Raffel. The writer applies the theoretical frame of accuracy and inaccuray formulated by Larson (1984) as well as the theoritical frame of naturalness and unnaturalness proposed by Beekman and Callow (1989). The research method used in this thesis is Descriptive Qualitative method. The data of this thesis are all words, phrases and sentences in the four of Chairil Anwar poems and their translation into English.After analyzing all of the data, the writer found inpoem 1 : “Buat Gadis Rasid” that translated by Burton Raffel, there are 9 accuracies data and 9 inaccuracies data, then based on the same data there are 14 naturalness data and 3 unnaturalness data. Moreover in poem 2 : “Buat Nyonya N” that translated by Burton Raffel, the writer found 7 accuracies data and 9inaccuracis data, besides based on the same data there are 10 naturalness data and 5 unnaturalness data. In addition in poem 3 : “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” that translated by Burton Raffel, the writer found 12 accuracies data and 8inaccuracis data, then based on the same data there are 12 naturalness data and 8 unnaturalness data. And the last one, in poem 4 : “Puncak” that translated by Burton Raffel, the writer found 7 accuracies data and 5inaccuracies data, in addition based on the same data there are 8 naturalness data and 3 unnaturalness data. So, It is not an easy work for being a translator, especially in translating literay works.
xi TABLE OF CONTENT
Author’s Declaration ... v
Copyright Declaration ... vi
Acknowledgement ... vii
Abstrak... ix
Abstract ... x
Table of Content ... xi
List of Table ... xiv
CHAPTER I INTRODUCTION 1.1 Background of the Study ... 1
1.2 Problem of the Study ... 8
1.3 Objective of the Study ... 8
1.4 Scope of the Study ... 8
1.5 Significance of the Study ... 8
CHAPTER II REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE 2.1 Literature ... 10
2.2 Poetry ... 12
2.3 Literary Translation ... 13
xii
2.3.1.1 Accuracy in Translation ... 15
2.3.1.1 .a Equivalent ... 16
2.3.1.2 Naturalness in Translation ... 18
2.3.1.3 Clearness in Translation ... 21
2.3.2 Poetry Translation ... 21
2.4 Relevant Study ... 23
CHAPTER IIIMETHODOLOGY 3.1Method of the Study... 27
3.2Data and Source of Data ... 27
3.3Technique of Collecting Data ... 28
3.4Technique of Analyzing Data ... 28
CHAPTER IV ANALYSIS AND FINDING 4.1 Data Description ... 30
4.2Analysis... 30
4.2.1 Poem 1 : “Buat Gadis Rasid” ... 30
4.2.1.1 Accuracy in “Buat Gadis Rasid” ... 30
4.2.1.2 Inaccuracy in “Buat Gadis Rasid” ... 33
4.2.1.3 Naturalness in “Buat Gadis Rasid” ... 36
xiii
4.2.2 Poem 2 : “Buat Nyonya N” ... 41
4.2.2.1 Accuracy in “Buat Nyonya N” ... 41
4.2.2.2 Inaccuracy in “Buat Nyonya N” ... 43
4.2.2.3 Naturalness in “Buat Nyonya N” ... 47
4.2.2.4 Unnaturalness in “Buat Nyonya N” ... 50
4.2.3 Poem 3 : “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” ... 52
4.2.3.1 Accuracy in “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” ... 52
4.2.3.2 Inaccuracy in “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” ... 55
4.2.3.3 Naturalness in “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” ... 57
4.2.3.4 Unnaturalness in “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” ... 61
4.2.4 Poem 4 : “Puncak” ... 64
4.2.4.1 Accuracy in “Puncak” ... 64
4.2.4.2 Inaccuracy in “Puncak” ... 66
4.2.4.3 Naturalness in “Puncak” ... 68
4.2.4.4 Unnaturalness in “Puncak” ... 71
4.3 Finding ... 73
CHAPTER V CONCLUSION AND SUGGESSTION 5.1 Conclusion ... 79
5.2 Suggestion ... 80
REFERENCES ... 81
xiv LIST OF TABLES
Table 4.1 : Accuracy in “Buat Gadis Rasid” ... 30
Table 4.2 : Inaccuracy in “Buat Gadis Rasid” ... 33
Table 4.3 : Naturalness in “Buat Gadis Rasid” ... 36
Table 4.4 : Unnaturalness in “Buat Gadis Rasid” ... 40
Table 4.6 : Accuracy in “Buat Nyonya N” ... 41
Table 4.7 : Inaccuracy in “Buat Nyonya N” ... 43
Table 4.8 : Naturalness in “Buat Nyonya N” ... 47
Table 4.9 : Unnaturalness in “Buat Nyonya N” ... 50
Table : 4.11 : Accuracy in “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” ... 52
Table 4.12 : Inaccuracy in “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” ... 55
Table 4.13 : Naturalness in “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” ... 57
Table 4.14 : Unnaturalness in “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” ... 61
Table 4.15 : Accuracy in “Puncak” ... 64
Table 4.16 : Inaccuracy in “Puncak” ... 66
Table 4.17 : Naturalness in “Puncak” ... 68
ix ABSTRAK
Skripsi ini berjudul “An Analysis of Accuracy and Naturalness in the Translation Version of Chairil Anwar Poems”. Penelitian ini bertujuan untuk menganalisis keakuratan dan kealamiahan terjemahan ke empat puisi Chairil Anwar “Buat Gadis Rasid”, “Buat Nyonya N”, “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” dan “Puncak” yang diterjemahkan oleh Burton Raffel kedalam Bahasa Inggris. Penulis mengaplikasikan teori keakuratan dan ketidakakuratan yang diformulasikan oleh Larson (1984) serta teori kealamiahan dan ketidakalamiahan yang diformulasikan oleh Beekman dan Callow (1989). Penelitian ini dikaji dengan menggunakan metode deskriptif kualitatif. Data skripsi ini adalah semua kata, frasa dan kalimat yang terdapat di dalam ke empat puisi Chairil Anwar tersebut serta terjemahannya ke dalam Bahasa Inggris. Berdasarkan hasil penelitian, ditemukan pada puisi 1 : “Buat Gadis Rasid” yang di terjemahkan oleh Burton Raffel, terdapat 9 data yang akurat dan 9 data yang tidak akurat, kemudian berdasarkan data yang sama terdapat 14 data yang natural dan 3 data yang tidak natural. Pada puisi 2 : “Buat Nyonya N” yang di terjemahkan oleh Burton Raffel, terdapat 7 data yang akurat dan 9 data yang tidak akurat, kemudian berdasarkan data yang sama terdapat 10 data yang natural dan 5 data yang tidak natural. Pada puisi 3 : “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” yang di terjemahkan oleh Burton Raffel, terdapat 12 data yang akurat dan 8 data yang tidak akurat, kemudian berdasarkan data yang sama terdapat 12 data yang natural dan 8 data yang tidak natural. Dan pada puisi 4 : “Puncak” yang di terjemahkan oleh Burton Raffel, terdapat 7 data yang akurat dan 5 data yang tidak akurat, kemudian berdasarkan data yang sama terdapat 8 data yang natural dan 3 data yang tidak natural. Jadi, untuk menjadi seorang penerjemah itu tidaklah mudah, terutama menterjemahkan karya sastra.
x ABSTRACT
This thesis entitled with “An Analysis of Accuracy and Naturalness in the Translation Version of Chairil Anwar Poems”. The research is aimed to analyze the accuracy and naturalness in the translation of four Chairil Anwar poems “Buat Gadis Rasid”, “Buat Nyonya N”, “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” and “Puncak” by Burton Raffel. The writer applies the theoretical frame of accuracy and inaccuray formulated by Larson (1984) as well as the theoritical frame of naturalness and unnaturalness proposed by Beekman and Callow (1989). The research method used in this thesis is Descriptive Qualitative method. The data of this thesis are all words, phrases and sentences in the four of Chairil Anwar poems and their translation into English.After analyzing all of the data, the writer found inpoem 1 : “Buat Gadis Rasid” that translated by Burton Raffel, there are 9 accuracies data and 9 inaccuracies data, then based on the same data there are 14 naturalness data and 3 unnaturalness data. Moreover in poem 2 : “Buat Nyonya N” that translated by Burton Raffel, the writer found 7 accuracies data and 9inaccuracis data, besides based on the same data there are 10 naturalness data and 5 unnaturalness data. In addition in poem 3 : “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” that translated by Burton Raffel, the writer found 12 accuracies data and 8inaccuracis data, then based on the same data there are 12 naturalness data and 8 unnaturalness data. And the last one, in poem 4 : “Puncak” that translated by Burton Raffel, the writer found 7 accuracies data and 5inaccuracies data, in addition based on the same data there are 8 naturalness data and 3 unnaturalness data. So, It is not an easy work for being a translator, especially in translating literay works.
1 CHAPTER I
INTRODUCTION
1.1Background of the Study
A survey in the history of translation studies shows that, many scholars (e.g. Bassnett, 1988; Lefevere, 1992) have studied the issues of “literary translation” and expressed their opinions regarding the problems involved in translating literary poems. It has been frequently pointed out that translating literature in general and poetry in particular is much more difficult than translating ordinary or non-literary poems (Anari, 2009 : 1). Translating literary works is, perhaps, always more difficult than translating other types of text because literary works have specific values called the aesthetic and expressive values (Hariyanto, 2014 : 1).
Literary works comprises three genres such as novel (prose), poetry and drama. In this study the writer focuses on poetry translation.
2 Fadaee (2011: 1) argued naturalness as well as accuracy and clearness is one of the main features of evaluating translation of literary books. An acceptable translated book is the one which includes all these three factors. According to Shuttleworth and Cowie (1997) in Anari (2014 : 80) accuracy is a term used in translation evaluation to refer to the degree of correspondence between the translated and original poem. Then, Larson (1984) in Anari (2014 : 80) argued accuracy in representing the meaning of the original poem and using natural idiomatic expressions in the receptor language are the primary goals of the translator. The translator, as he contends, should be faithful to the meaning of the original poem as well as to the structure of the receptor language. Moreover, in a good translation incomplete, extraneous, or different information must be avoided.... He emphazises the responsibility of the translator is to attach to the original message and not to add additional information to the total message. This must be done so smoothly that reading the poem does not necessitate the readers’ high concentration on the poem. A translator is dealing with concepts in the structures of both languages. Each language will focus on a particular area of reality or experience in a different way. However, accuracy forces the translator to assess a range of all possible word choices in the structure of the language and carefully decide on the most contiguous word which equates with the vocabulary used in the source language. In addition, Accuracy is defined by Rahimi (2004) in Anari (2014 : 80) as the suitable and detaile explanation of the source message and the transmission of that message as exactly as possible.
3 equivalents in the target language poem and compare them to establish how close the two sets of vocabulary items are. The point, here, is the selection of the best possible equivalents for the source language keywords. If the translator has been successful to do so, it can be concluded that they have managed to convey the same message as the source poem and thus the translation is acceptable in terms of accuracy criterion. The second method is to back translate the translated poem to the source language and then to carry out a contrastive analysis and examine how close the reconstructed poem is to the original poem. If the reconstructed poem is reasonably close to the original one, it may be concluded that the translation is acceptable in terms of accuracy. A much unexpected result for reconstructed poem is to be completely identical to the original poem, which makes the translation entirely acceptable.
4 and in general if the poetry reads naturally to the reader (Newmark, 1988) in Anari (2014 : 78). In addition, Farahani (2005) in Anari (2014 : 79) defines naturalness as the extent to which a work of translation sounds natural in the target language. He states that all readers have experienced poems which are instantly acknowledged as translation and sound very artificial in the target language, and alternatively there are translated poems that sound quite natural and amazingly enjoyable to read. However, the most important issue, according to Farahani how to decide on the degree of the naturalness or artificiality of the poem and he further suggests two ways to determine upon the issue. The first possibly way is to refer to the native speakers of the translated poem and ask for their judgments on the naturalness of the poem, though the problem would be to find a native speaker who is linguistically knowledgeable enough to have a reliable judgment. The second way to determine the degree of naturalness of a translation is to see whether the translator has followed the syntactic structure and word order of the target language or those of the source language. In case the translator has been familiar enough with the syntactic structure of the receptor language and has observed it is linguistic features, the translation would be acceptable in terms of naturalness.
5 the original poem it is classified as a literal translation. However, a translation is classified as idiomatic when it corresponds more to the receptor language. In fact, in the highly literal translation, as Beekman and Callow (1989) in Anari (2014 : 78) argued the obligatory grammatical rules of the receptor language are set aside and the translation follows the order of the original word for word and with high consistency which mostly results in ambiguity, awkwardness, and unnaturalness.
The unduly free translation is on the extreme side of the highly literal one. The purpose of the unduly free translation is to make the message as relevant and clear as possible. In this kind of translation there are no distortions of the message arising from literalisms, though there are alterations of content, where the translation does not express what the original says or implies. Therefore, although the highly literal and the unduly free translations are at opposite extremes, they both fail to communicate what the original poem has communicated (Beekman & Callow, cited in Manafi, 2005a, 1985) in Anari (2014 : 79).
Conversely, the modified literal translation occurs when the translator makes some lexical or grammatical adjustments to correct the errors arising from literalism, and produce something which is equivalent to the original. An idiomatic translation is the one which conveys the meaning of the original in the natural lexical and grammatical forms of the receptor language. In this kind of translation the focus is on the meaning conveyed in the linguistic form of the receptor language (Manafi, 2005a, 1986) in Anari (2014 : 79).
6 by Larson (1984) as well as the theoritical frame of naturalness and unnaturalness proposed by Beekman and Callow (1989), because both theories are clearer, more detail in explaining the criteria of good translation. therefore the writer found several words, phrases and sentences that not accurate and not natural in the four of Chairil Anwar poems “Buat Gadis Rasid”, “Buat Nyonya N”,”Biar Malam Kini Lalu”” and “Puncak” that are translated into English by Burton
Raffel. For example a sentence “Bangsa muda menjadi baru bisa bilang “aku” ” in Chairil Anwar poem “Buat Gadis Rasid” translated by Burton Raffel become “The whole new nation, just old enough to say “Me” ” in line 9 is inaccurate because based on the theory of Larson
(1984) argued accuracy forces the translator to assess a range of all possible word choices in the structure of the language and carefully decide on the most contiguous word which equates with the vocabulary used in the source language. The word “new” which is used as equivalence for the word “muda”. “New” means not existing before while “muda” refers to young thus it conveys a different meaning therefore it is translated inaccurately (see page 34). As far as the naturalness criterion is concerned, this kind of translation is the unduly free translation which causes unnaturalness because refers to Beekman and Callow (1985) argued the unduly free translation is on the extreme side of the highly literal one. The purpose of the unduly free translation is to make the message as relevant and clear as possible. In this kind of translation there are no distortions of the message arising from literalisms, though there are alterations of content, where the translation does not express what the original says or implies, thus it is unnatural.
7 poet, a writer and a teacher. He has translated many poems, including the Anglo-Saxon epic Beowulf, poems by Horace, and Gargantua, Pantagruel by François Rabelais, and many of Chairil Anwar poems. He has translated many of chairil Anwar poems since he taugh English in Indonesia for two years in the early 1950’s with the help of his student Nurdin Salam, this collaboration resulted in the publication of “Chairil Anwar : Selected – poems”. The writer is interested in doing this research because the writer is interested in both major Literature and Translation studies, so the writer tries to combine both of them in this thesis where the writer focuses on discussing about the accuracy and naturalness in literary translation. In this case the writer will analyze the accuracy, inaccuracy, naturalness and unnaturalness found in the translation of four Chairil Anwar poems by Burton Raffel. The writer gets the data from all words, phrases and sentences in the four of Chairil Anwar poems. The writer chooses Chairil Anwar poems in this research because he is one of an Indonesian poet and member of the "1945 generation" of writers. He has written 96 works, including 70 individual poems. Many of his works were translated into many foreign languages among other thing English, German, Russian and Spanish. So to accomplish this thesis, the writer chooses four of Chairil Anwar poems that translated into English by Burton Raffel because the writer found many of words, phrases and sentences in these poems are not natural and not accurate in the translation into English.
1.2Problem of the Study
1. How accurate is the translation of words, phrases and sentences in four of Chairil Anwar poems by Burton Raffel?
2. How natural isthe translation of words, phrases and sentences in four of Chairil Anwar poems by Burton Raffel?
8 1. To find out the accuracy in the translation of words, phrases and sentences in four of
Chairil Anwar poems by Burton Raffel.
2. To find out the naturalness in the translation of words, phrases and sentences in four of Chairil Anwar poems by Burton Raffel.
1.4Scope of the Study
In this study, the writer focuses on discussing about the accuracy, inaccuracy, naturalness and unnaturalness in translation version of Chairi Anwar poems. The writer chooses four of Chairil Anwar poems namely “Buat Gadis Rasid”, “Buat Nyonya N”, “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” and “Puncak” that are translated into English By Burton Raffel, and the data of this thesis are all words, phrases and sentences in these four poems and their translation into English by Burton Raffel.
1.5Significance of the Study
This thesis has two main significances, both practically and theoritically. Practically this thesis will enable the readers to have a better understanding of the accuracy and naturalness in literary translation. Theoritically, this thesis can give further information to the students of English Literature Department who plan to combine both majors Literature and Translation studies.
9 REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE
2.1Literature
Literature comes from literatura / litteratura (Latin) "writing formed with letters” which is the smallest elements of alphabetically writing. Barber (1983 : 4) stated “ literature is fictional in that it does not claim that it is statement are factual or literally true. This is abvious enough with the novel and with the drama, in which the author offers us imaginary characters and even when he handles true events, such as historical material, since what he gives us is an imaginative reconstruction of the events, not a historical documentation of them”. This means that through literature we can use our imagination in thinking the character and sequence of events that we can found in the literature it iself.
Eagleton (1943 : 1-3) stated “ there have been various attempts to define literature.... as ‘imaginative’ writing in the sense of fiction – writing which is not literally true. But even the briefest reflection on what people commonly include under the heading of literature suggests that this will not do.... Literature is definable not according to the whether it is fictional or ‘imaginative’, but because it uses language in peculiar ways.... what was specific to literary language, what distinguished it from other forms of discourse, was that it ‘deformed’ ordinary language in various ways. Under the presssure of literary devices, ordinary language was intensified, condensed, twisted, telescoped, drawn out, turned on it is head. It was language ‘made strange’; and because of this estrangement, the everyday world was also suddenly made unfamiliar. ”
10 oldest form of literature. Before writing was invented, oral stories were commonly put into some sort of poetic form to make them easier to remember and recite. Poetry today is usually written down, but is still sometimes performed.... Prose is the type of literature read most often in English classrooms. Any novel or short story falls into this category, from “Jane Eyre to Twilight” and from “A Sound of Thunder” to “The Crucible”. Like poetry, prose is broken down into a large number of other sub-genres. Some of these genres revolve around the structure of the poem, such as novellas, biographies, and memoirs, and others are based on the subject matter, like romances, fantasies, and mysteries. And Drama is any poem meant to be performed rather than read can be considered drama (unless it is a poem meant to be performed, of course). In Layman’s terms, Dramas are usually called plays. When written down the bulk of a drama is dialogue, with periodic stage directions such as “he looks away angrily.” Of all the genres of literature discussed in this article, drama is the one given the least time in most classrooms. And often when drama is taught, it is only read the same way you might read a novel. Since dramas are meant to be acted out in front of an audience, it is hard to fully appreciate them when looking only at pages of poem. Students respond best to dramas, and grasp their mechanics more fully, when exposed to film or theater versions or encouraged to read aloud or act out scenes during class.
In this study the writer focuses on poetry because the writer uses the data from poetry translation.
11 Pollock (1950 : 225) stated “ the poem of course is addressed to somewhat sophisticated audience- sophisticated not so much with respect to manners and morals as with respect to literary convention.... but the poem is not intended to be literary satire or literary criticism. It is a genuine and deeply felt expression of the poet’s sense of the beauty and the perfection of his love one.”
Hallam in Cronin (2002 : 2-3) argued such poetry is not descriptive, it is ‘ picturesque’. It consists of a combination of sense impressions through which the poet experiences and evokes a poetic emotion. Hallam grounds this poetry in the physical laws of association. Although the poet’s impression are necessarily subjective, they can be re-experienced by any individual willing to exert the effort of repeating the process of their combination.... for Hallam such poetry is self-sufficient, it is only motive and standard is beauty. He claims that the delicate sense of fitness from which the poetry of sensation springs’ acquires a celerity and weight of decision hardly inferior to the correspondent judgement of conscience.... Tennyson’s early poetry uses impressions in the way which Hallam describes. He constructs a scene through a combination of images that convey a subjective experience.
12 transcription of something that has happened; rather, he invites us to experience them.... poetry then is imaginative literature written in verse. ”
2.3Literary Translation
Landers (2001: 7) in Hassan (2014 : 2) argued that Literary translation, at least in the English-speaking world, faces a difficulty that poems originally written in English do not resistance by the public to reading literature in translation.... In technical translation, for example, style is not a consideration so long as the informational content makes it is way unaltered from SL to TL.... In literary translation, the order of the cars – which is to say the style – can make the difference between a lively, highly readable translation and a stilted, rigid, and artificial rendering that strips the original of it is artistic and aesthetic essence, even it is very soul.
Literary translation is a type of translation which is distinguished from translation in general. A literary translation must reflect the imaginative, intellectual and intuitive writing of the author. In fact, literature is distinguished by it is aesthetics. Little concern has been devoted to the aesthetics of literary translations because these translations are popularly perceived as unoriginal (Devy 1999: 183) in Hassan (2014 : 2). In addition, Belhaag (1997: 20) in Hassan (2014 : 2-3) summarizes the characteristics of literary translations:
- expressive - connotative - symbolic
- focusing on both form and content - subjective
13 - timeless and universal
- using special devices to ‘heighten’ communicative effect - tendency to deviate from the language norms
Moreover, literary translations must reflect all the literary features of the source poem such as sound effects, morphophonemic selection of words, figures of speech …etc. (Riffaterre 1992: 204-205) in Hassan (2014 : 3).
Gutt (1991) stresses that in translating a literary work one should preserve the style of the original poem. In accordance with Gutt, this wider, stylistic dimension of communication is, of course, of special interest to literary studies, and so it is not surprising that theorists concerned with literary translation have paid considerable attention to the preservation of the stylistic properties of texts" (1991: 123) in Hassan (2014 : 3). Furthermore, Anani defines it crudely as "the translation of the different genres of literature including poetry narrative and drama. Like other types of non-literary translation, it involves transforming a verbal code into a different code, but unlike them, it is concerned not only in the referential meaning of words but also in their significance and effects" (1997: ch. 1) in Ghazala (2014:15-16).
2.3.1 The Criterions of a Good Literary Translation
Accoding to Fadaee (2011: 1) Naturalness as well as accuracy and clearness is one of the main features of evaluating translation of literary books. An acceptable translated book is the one which includes all these three factors.
2.3.1.1Accuracy in Translation
14 meaning of the original poem and using natural idiomatic expressions in the receptor language are the primary goals of the translator. The translator, as he contends, should be faithful to the meaning of the original poem as well as to the structure of the receptor language. Moreover, in a good translation incomplete, extraneous, or different information must be avoided.... He emphazises the responsibility of the translator is to attach to the original message and not to add additional information to the total message. This must be done so smoothly that reading the poem does not necessitate the readers’ high concentration on the poem. A translator is dealing with concepts in the structures of both languages. Each language will focus on a particular area of reality or experience in a different way. However, accuracy forces the translator to assess a range of all possible word choices in the structure of the language and carefully decide on the most contiguous word which equates with the vocabulary used in the source language.
15 has been successful to do so, it can be concluded that they have managed to convey the same message as the source poem and thus the translation is acceptable in terms of accuracy criterion.
The second method is to back translate the translated poem to the source language and then to carry out a contrastive analysis and examine how close the reconstructed poem is to the original poem. If the reconstructed poem is reasonably close to the original one, it may be concluded that the translation is acceptable in terms of accuracy. A much unexpected result for reconstructed poem is to be completely identical to the original poem, which makes the translation entirely acceptable.
From several explanations about accuaracy in translation, the writer chooses to apply the theoretical frame of accuracy and inaccuracy formulated by Larson because his theorie is clearer, more detail in explaining the criteria of accuracy and inaccuracy.
2.3.1.1.a Equivalent
Nida argued there are two different types of equivalence, namely formal equivalence which in the second edition by Nida and Taber (1982) is referred to as formal correspondence and dynamic equivalence. Formal correspondence 'focuses attention on the message it iself, in both form and content', unlike dynamic equivalence which is based upon 'the principle of equivalent effect' (1964:159). In the second edition (1982) or their work, the two theorists provide a more detailed explanation of each type of equivalence (Leonardi, 2014 : 3).
16 translation will not be easily understood by the target audience (Fawcett, 1997). Nida and Taber themselves assert that 'Typically, formal correspondence distorts the grammatical and stylistic patterns of the receptor language, and hence distorts the message, so as to cause the receptor to misunderstand or to labor unduly hard' (ibid, : 201) in Leonardi ( 2014 : 3).
Dynamic equivalence is defined as a translation principle according to which a translator seeks to translate the meaning of the original in such a way that the TL wording will trigger the same impact on the TC audience as the original wording did upon the ST audience. They argued 'Frequently, the form of the original poem is changed; but as long as the change follows the rules of back transformation in the source language, of conpoemual consistency in the transfer, and of transformation in the receptor language, the message is preserved and the translation is faithful' (Nida and Taber, 1982:200) in Leonardi (2014 : 3).
One can easily see that Nida is in favour of the application of dynamic equivalence, as a more effective translation procedure. This is perfectly understandable if we take into account the conpoem of the situation in which Nida was dealing with the translation phenomenon, that is to say, his translation of the Bible. Thus, the product of the translation process, that is the poem in the TL, must have the same impact on the different readers it was addressing. Only in Nida and Taber's edition is it clearly stated that 'dynamic equivalence in translation is far more than mere correct communication of information' (ibid:25) in Leonardi (2014 : 3).
17 2.3.1.2Naturalness in Translation
Another main features of evaluating translation of literary books is naturalness. According to Shuttleworth and Cowie (1997) in Anari (2014 : 78) naturalness refers to the extent to which a translation is expressed in clear, unforced terms in the target language and is the way of expression close to that of the native speakers. It is described as “well-formedness” in linguistics, “acceptability” in pragmatics and sociolinguistics, and “naturalness” or “acceptability” in translation studies’ (Mollanazar, 2001 : 1) in Anari (2014 : 78).
Newmark (1988) in Anari (2014 : 78) believes that it is not so easy to be concrete about defining naturalness. Natural usage comprises a variety of idioms or styles or registers determined primarily by where it is typically published or found, what is called the setting of the poem. Another important factor regarding the naturalness of poetry is the way it is expressed by it is author, it is topic and it is readers who are usually dependent on it is setting. The level of naturalness for a vast majority of poems, however, is revealed by whether translation makes sense to the reader, is written in ordinary language, the grammar, idioms, and words are common and in general if the poetry reads naturally to the reader.
Rahimi (2004) in Anari (2014 : 79) states if a translation is to be efficient and adequate, it is important to use the natural form of the receptor language. Additionally, it should not sound foreign nor there should be a one to one correspondence between the words in the original poem and their translation. In general, a translation is not natural when it is style is inappropriate and lacks normal language use.
18 language, and alternatively there are translated poems that sound quite natural and amazingly enjoyable to read. However, the most important issue, according to Khomeijani Farahani (2005) in Anari (2014 : 79) is how to decide on the degree of the naturalness or artificiality of the poem and he further suggests two ways to determine upon the issue. The first possibly way is to refer to the native speakers of the translated poem and ask for their judgments on the naturalness of the poem, though the problem would be to find a native speaker who is linguistically knowledgeable enough to have a reliable judgment. The second way to determine the degree of naturalness of a translation is to see whether the translator has followed the syntactic structure and word order of the target language or those of the source language. In case the translator has been familiar enough with the syntactic structure of the receptor language and has observed it is linguistic features, the translation would be acceptable in terms of naturalness.
19 the original word for word and with high consistency which mostly results in ambiguity, awkwardness, and unnaturalness.
The unduly free translation is on the extreme side of the highly literal one. The purpose of the unduly free translation is to make the message as relevant and clear as possible. In this kind of translation there are no distortions of the message arising from literalisms, though there are alterations of content, where the translation does not express what the original says or implies. Therefore, although the highly literal and the unduly free translations are at opposite extremes, they both fail to communicate what the original poem has communicated (Beekman & Callow, cited in Manafi, 2005a, 1985) in Anari (2014 : 79).
Conversely, the modified literal translation occurs when the translator makes some lexical or grammatical adjustments to correct the errors arising from literalism, and produce something which is equivalent to the original. An idiomatic translation is the one which conveys the meaning of the original in the natural lexical and grammatical forms of the receptor language. In this kind of translation the focus is on the meaning conveyed in the linguistic form of the receptor language (Manafi, 2005a, 1986 ) in Anari (2014 : 79). While According to Savory (1957) in Hassan (2014 : 3), literal translation of a literary work does not reproduce the effect of the original. Because literature allows multiple interpretation, there should be freedom in literary translations to consider a wide range of implicatures. Thus, rendering the equivalent effect of the original requires freedom to explore different interpretations. That approach is meant to achieve relevance in translation (1991: 156-157).
20 their theory is clearer, more detail in explaining the criteria of naturalness and unnaturalness in translation.
2.3.1.3 Clearness in Translation
Larson (2001: 49) in Fadaee (2011:1) defines clearness as following: "clearness in translation means that the translated piece can communicate to the people (target audience) who are to use it". He adds that "in clear translation the forms of the language used should be those which make the message of the source poem as easy to understand as the source poem it iself was to understand" (Larson, 2001: 48) in Fadaee (2011:1). The translation lacks clarity if :
i) It does not communicate the people who are to use it.
ii) It does not use the form of language understandable for language speakers (Rahimi, 2004: 56) in Fadaee (2011:1).
2.3.2 Poetry Translation
There are many poems are translated into other languages so it is part of the literary translation. Bazzurno (2008 : 1) argued Literary translation consists of the translation of poetry, plays, literary books, literary poems, as well as songs, rhymes, literary articles, fiction novels, novels, short stories, poems, etc. So to accomplish this thesis, the writer decides poetry translation as the data.
21 As one genre of literature, poetry has something special compared to the others. In a poem, the beauty is not only achieved with the choice of words and figurative language like in novels and short stories, but also with the creation of rhythm, rhyme, meter, and specific expressions and structures that may not conform to the ones of the daily language. In short, the translation of poetry needs 'something more' than translating other genres of literature. This simple writing will present in brief some considerations in translating poetry and the eight-stage procedure to translate a poem.
Hovhannisyan (2014 : 1) argued translation of poetry is one of the most difficult and challenging tasks for every translator. Returning to Robert Frost’s definition, according to which “Poetry is what gets lost in translation”, we can say, that this statement could be considered as a
22 2.4 Relevant Study
There are several scholars who ever did the research and wrote the article or journal about the accuracy and naturalness in translation that related to the topic are :
Yuniar (2008) from English Education Department, Faculty of Language and Arts Education, Indonesia University Of Education, Bandung in her thesis entitle “Analyzing the Naturalness and Accuracy of Student's Translation of Childrent's Stories”. She tried to analyze
the naturalness and accuracy of students’ translation in translating three children stories; “Little Lily at Flower land”, “Little Lily at Candy land”, and “The sky is falling!” by examining the aspects of naturalness and accuracy based on Newmark (1988). They are word order, common structures, cognate words, lexical words, colloquial words, and onomatopoeic words. Those aspects were investigated through the methods that used by the students. This research used qualitative approach. The result suggested that the students’ translations were natural and accurate, since most of them could achieve the aspects of naturalness and accuracy. The writer found seven translation methods applied in the translations; communicative, word-for-word, free, idiomatic, semantic, faithful, and literal translation method. The most frequently used by students were communicative, word-for-word, and free translation. The problems that mostly occur in their translations were the matter of diction and grammatical structures.
23 the foregoing information, it is significant to stress that the influence of culture on translation’s naturalness is undeniable. Different translation procedures to achieve naturalness have been presented. Overall, it should be noted that translators do not always use the same strategy to achieve naturalness.
Shadrah (2010) from English Department, Faculty of Letters and Fine Arts, Sebelas Maret University, Surakarta in her thesis entitle “A Translation Analysis of Colloquial Expressions in the Children’s Storybook Entitled the Secret Life of Ms Wiz by Terence Blacker”.
The focus of this research is the translation analysis of colloquial expressions in the children’s storybook entitled The Secret Life of Ms Wizby T erence Blacker The objectives of this study are to find out the types of colloquial expression, to find out the translation techniques used by the translator to translate colloquial expression, and to know the effect of the translation techniques used on the quality of the translation in terms of accuracy and acceptability. This research used a descriptive qualitative and quantitative method and was designed as a single embedded case study.
Fadaee (2011) in her internal journal of English and Literature entitle “Translation Naturalness in Literary Works: English to Persian”. In her journal, she tries to study the
naturalness flow of some literary short stories in Iran to reveal some strong and weak points of natural translation of some literary books.
Lestari (2011) from English Letters Department, Faculty of Adab and Humanities, State Islamic university of Syarif Hidayatullah, Jakarta in her thesis entitle “The Accuracy of Collocation Translation in Travel Magazine Travelounge”. In her research is aim to discuss one
24 the English collocations in the bilingualism travel magazine travelounge by investigating the types of English collocations in the magazine. She also finds some of the collocations are translated accurately, because the translation have the same meaning as the source language which may not result in any difference, addition, or omission of the meaning as the target language.
Anari (2014) in his journal entitle “Naturalness and Accuracy in English Translation of Hāfiz”. He wants to show difference between an English translation of Hāfiz by a native speaker
of Persian and a native speaker of English in terms of naturalness and accuracy by applied comparative one and therefore a descriptive methodology in the research. the researchers came to
the conclusion that in the samples studied the translation of Hāfiz ghazals by the Iranian
25 CHAPTER III
METHODOLOGY
3.1Method of the Study
The research was conducted by applying Descriptive Qualitative method. Qualitative descriptive studies tend to be more naturalistic in that they employ neither the philosopical underpinnings nor the interpretive requirement to search for higher meaning associated with phenomenology, nor do they require the advancement of finding to higher theoritical concept or abstractions consistent with grounded theory approaches. A qualitative descriptive study is suitable when detailed descriptions of phenomena and focus on presentation of participants’ dialogue with the researcher are desired (Sandelowski, 2000) in Grant (2007 : 16).
3.2Data and Source of Data
26 born 1928 in New York, he is a translator, a poet, a writer and a teacher. He has translated many poems, including the Anglo-Saxon epic Beowulf, poems by Horace, and Gargantua, Pantagruel by François Rabelais, and many of Chairil Anwar poems. He has translated many of chairil Anwar poems since he taugh English in Indonesia for two years in the early 1950’s with the help of his student Nurdin Salam, this collaboration resulted in the publication of “Chairil Anwar : Selected – poems”.
3.3 Technique of Collecting Data
The data for this study were obtain through the documentation study. The writer found many of Chairil anwar poems but she chooses four of them, they are : “Buat Gadis Rasid”, “Buat Nyonya N”, “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” and “Puncak” thatare translated into English by Burton Raffel. The population of this thesis are all words phrases and sentences in the four Chairil Anwar poems and their translation into English. The writer collects the data through the following steps :
1. The writer gets the four of Chairil Anwar poems from the internet. 2. The writer saves the data in computer
3. The writer prints out the data. 3.4 Technique of Analyzing Data
27 1. Reading the four poems of Chairil Anwar namely “Buat Gadis Rasid”, “Buat Nyonya N”, “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” and “Puncak” and the translation of these poems by Burton Raffel.
2. Identifying each words, phrases and sentences which accurate, inaccurate, natural and unnatural in the translation of four Chairil Anwar poems by Burton Raffel.
28 CHAPTER IV
ANALYSIS AND FINDING
4.1 Data Description
The data of this thesis are all words, phrases and sentences in the four of Chairil Anwar poems “Buat Gadis Rasid”, “Buat Nyonya N”, “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” and “Puncak” that are translated into English By Burton Raffel. First “Buat Gadis Rasid” consists of 2 words, 8 phrases and 8 sentences in 22 lines. Second “Buat Nyonya N” consists of 1 word, 7 phrases, 7 sentences and one year note in 24 lines. Then “Biar Malam Kini Lalu” consists of 1 word, 6 phrases and 13 sentences in 25 lines. And the last one “Puncak” consists of 1 word, 3 phrases, 7 sentences and one year note in 31 lines.
4.2 Analysis
[image:44.612.69.492.484.698.2]4.2.1 Poem 1 : “Buat Gadis Rasid” 4.2.1.1 Accuracy in “Buat Gadis Rasid” Table 4.1 : Accuracy in “Buat Gadis Rasid”
LINE SOURCE LANGUAGE TARGET LANGUAGE
1 BUAT GADIS RASID FOR MISS GADIS RASID 7 Burung-burung merdu The sweetly singingbirds
10 Dan And
11 Angin tajam kering The sharp, dry wind, 12-13 Pasir bangkit menanduskan,
daerah dikosongi
The swirling eroding sand, areas stripped of everything
14 Kita terapit, cintaku We are squeezed in, my love 15 Kadang bisa mengisar setapak Sometimes able to take
a single step_ 16 Mari kitalepas Let’s run off,
21 -the only possible non-stop flight
29 Regarding the phrase “BUAT GADIS RASID” that is translated become “FOR MISS GADIS RASID” in line 1 is accurate because refers to Larson’s theory (1984) argued the
translator, as he contends, should be faithful to the meaning of the original poem as well as to the structure of the receptor language. Actually “Gadis Rasid” is stand for a name of somebody in the original poem, then the translator adds the word “Miss” in target language to show the woman has not married yet, that is why he translated become “Miss Gadis Rasid”.
The phrase “Burung-burung merdu” that is translated become “The sweetly singing birds” in line 7 is concerned accurate because refers to the theory of Larson (1984) argued that
the translator, as he contends, should be faithful to the meaning of the original poem as well as to the structure of the receptor language.
The word “Dan” that is translated become “And” in line 10 is accurate, because the translator has decided on the most contiguous word in target language. Based on the theory of Larson (1984) in Anari (2014: 80) argued accuracy forces the translator to assess a range of all possible word choices in the structure of the language and carefully decide on the most contiguous word which equates with the vocabulary used in the source language.
The phrase “Angin tajam kering” that is translated become “The sharp, dry wind” in line 11 is concerned accurate because refers to Larson’s theory (1984) argued the translator, as he contends, should be faithful to the meaning of the original poem as well as to the structure of the receptor language.
The sentence “Pasar bangkit menanduskan, daerah dikosongi” that is translated become “The swirling eroding sand, areas stripped of everything” in line 12-13 is also accurate because
30 sentence “Kita terapit, cintaku” that is translated become “We are Squeezed in, my love” in line 14 is accurate, regarding Larson’s theory (1984) stated that a translator is dealing with concepts in the structures of both languages.
The phrase “Kadang bisa mengisar setapak” that is translated become “Sometimes able to take a single step” in line 15 is concerned accurate, based on the theory of Larson (1984)
argued accuracy forces the translator to assess a range of all possible word choices in the structure of the language and carefully decide on the most contiguous word which equates with the vocabulary used in the source language. Thus the translator has decided on the most contiguous word in translating this phrase.
The sentence “Mari kita lepas” that is translated become “Let’s run off ” in line 16is regerded accurate beacuse based on the theory of Larson (1984) argued accuracy forces the translator to assess a range of all possible word choices in the structure of the language and carefully decide on the most contiguous word which equates with the vocabulary used in the source language.
The phrase “-the only possible – non stop flight” that is translated become “-the only possible – non stop flight” in line 21 is accurate because refers to Larson’s theory (1984) argued
the translator, as he contends, should be faithful to the meaning of the original poem as well as to the structure of the receptor language. Actually the poet has borrowed the English language, then the translator seems transfer the phrase accurately in target language.
4.2.1.2 Inaccuracy in “Buat Gadis Rasid” Table 4.2 : Inaccuracy in “Buat Gadis Rasid”
LINE SOURCE LANGUAGE TARGET LANGUAGE
2-6 Antara
daun-daun hijau
padang lapang dan terang
Among
31 anak-anak kecil tidak bersalah,
baru bisa lari-larian
The tiny, innocent children, just old enough to run
8 Hujan segar dan menyebar The fresh, fertile rain 9 Bangsa muda menjadi baru bisa
bilang “aku”
The whole new nation, just old enough to say “Me”
11 Tanah semata gersang the barren soil
15 Mengecil diri _compressed, condensed, 16-17 Kita lepas jiwa mencari jadi
merpati
Free our searching souls to be like doves
18 Terbang let’s fly
19-20 Mengenali gurun, sonder ketemu, sonder mendarat
Learn the ways of the desert, not ever meeting, not ever touching
The ground
22 Tidak mendapat -
The sentence “Antara daun-daun hijau padang lapang dan terang anak-anak kecil tidak bersalah, baru bisa lari-larian” that is translated become “Among the green leaves the bright,
wide fields the tiny, innocent children, just old enough to run ” in line 2-6 is inaccurate because
based on the theory of Larson (1984) argued accuracy forces the translator to assess a range of all possible word choices in the structure of the language and carefully decide on the most contiguous word which equates with the vocabulary used in the source language. The word “tiny” in the fifth line is not accurately rendered. It is used as equivalence for the word “kecil”
conveys a different meaning. “Tiny” means very small in size or amount while “kecil” refers to small therefore, it is translated inaccurately.
The sentence “Hujan segar dan menyebar” that is translated become “The fresh, fertile rain” in line 8 is also inaccurate because based on the theory of Larson (1984) argued accuracy
32 word “fertile” in the translation used as equivalence for the word “menyebar” conveys a different meaning.“Fertile” means plants grow well while “menyebar”refers to spread or disperse, therefore it is translated inaccurately.
The sentence “ Bangsa muda menjadi baru bisa bilang “aku” ” that is translated become “ The whole new nation, just old enough to say “Me” ” in line 9 is also inaccurate because based on the theory of Larson (1984) argued accuracy forces the translator to assess a range of all possible word choices in the structure of the language and carefully decide on the most contiguous word which equates with the vocabulary used in the source language. The word “new” which is used as equivalence for the word “muda”. “New” means not existing before while “muda” refers to young, thus it conveys a different meaning. And the translator also adds the word “whole” in target language. So the translation of this sentence should be “ The young nation, just able to say “Me” ”.
The phrase “Tanah semata gersang” that is translated become “The barren soil” in line 11 is concerned inaccurate because refers to Larson’s theory (1984) stated that in a good translation incomplete, extraneous, or different information must be avoided. Then, when comparing the translation with the original, it seems the translator does not translate the word “semata”, the translator does not attach the original message therefore, this translation is
inaccurately rendered.
33 The sentence “Kita lepas jiwa mencari jadi merpati” that is translated become “Free our searching souls to be like doves” in line 16-17 is also inaccurate because regarding Larson’s
theory (1984) argued that the translator, as he contends, should be faithful to the meaning of the original text as well as to the structure of the receptor language. The translator seems does not translate the subject “Kami” into target language, that is why this translation is inaccurately rendered. In my opinion the translation of this sentence should be “We free souls to search to become doves”.
The word “Terbang” that is translated become “Let’s fly” in line 18 is concerned inaccurate because based on the theory of Larson (1984) argued the responsibility of the translator is to attach to the original message and not to add additional information to the total message. Then, when comparing the translation with the original shows that there is additional information to the total message therefore the translation can be considered as inaccurate translation. Regarding in the word “Lets” is added which is non- existent in the original.
The sentence “Mengenali gurun, sonder ketemu, sonder mendarat” that is translated become “Learns the way of desert, not ever meeting, noet ever touching the ground” in line 19-20 is inaccurate because based on the theory of Larson (1984) argued accuracy forces the translator to assess a range of all possible word choices in the structure of the language and carefully decide on the most contiguous word which equates with the vocabulary used in the source language. The word “sonder” is ducth language which means tanpa in bahasa. Thus not ever which is used as equivalence for the word “sonder” conveys a different meaning. Not ever
34 statedthat in a good translation incomplete, extraneous, or different information must be avoided. Thus, the translator has not translated this phrase, so it is inaccurate translation.
[image:50.612.70.489.178.556.2]4.2.1.3 Naturalness in “Buat Gadis Rasid” Table 4.3 : Naturalness in “Buat Gadis Rasid”
LINE SOURCE LANGUAGE TARGET LANGUAGE
1 BUAT GADIS RASID FOR MISS GADIS RASID 2-6 Antara
daun-daun hijau
padang lapang dan terang anak-anak kecil tidak bersalah, baru bisa lari-larian
Among
The green leaves The bright, wide fields
The tiny, innocent children, just old enough to run
7 Burung-burung merdu The sweetly singing birds 8 Hujan segar dan menyebar The fresh, fertile rain
10 Dan And
11 Angin tajam kering The sharp, dry wind, 11 Tanah semata gersang the barren soil
12-13 Pasir bangkit menanduskan, daerah dikosongi
The swirling eroding sand, areas stripped of everything
14 Kita terapit, cintaku We are squeezed in, my love 15 Mengecil diri _compressed, condensed, 16-17 Kita lepas jiwa mencari jadi
merpati
free our searching souls to be like doves
18 Terbang let’s fly
19-20 Mengenali gurun, sonder ketemu, sonder mendarat
Learn the ways of the desert, not ever meeting, not ever touching
The ground
21 -the only possible non-stop flight -the only possible non-stop flight
35 Thus, this kind of translation is modified literal translation, Regarded the theory of Beekman and Callow (1986) stated that the modified literal translation occurs when the translator makes some lexical or grammatical adjustments to correct the errors arising from literalism, and produce something which is equivalent to the original, thus this translation is natural.
The sentence “Antara daun-daun hijau padang lapang dan terang anak-anak kecil tidak bersalah, baru bisa lari-larian” that is translated become “Among the green leaves the bright,
wide fields the tiny, innocent children, just old enough to run” in line 2-6 is concerned as
idiomatic translation because based on the theory of Beekman and Callow (1986) argued idiomatic translation is the one which conveys the meaning of the original in the natural lexical and grammatical forms of the receptor language. In this kind of translation the focus is on the meaning conveyed in the linguistic form of the receptor language, therefore it is natural.
The phrase “Burung-burung merdu” that is translated become “The sweetly singing birds” in line 7 is concerned modified literal translation because regarded the theory of Beekman
and Callow (1986) stated that the modified literal translation occurs when the translator makes some lexical or grammatical adjustments to correct the errors arising from literalism, and produce something which is equivalent to the original, thus it is natural.
The sentence “Hujan segar, dan menyebar” that is translated become “The fresh, fertile rain” in line 8 is idiomatic translation because based on the theory of Beekman and Callow
36 The word “And” that is translated become “Dan” in line 10 is literal translation because as Beekman and Callow (1989) argued if the form of of translation corresponds to the form of the original poem, therefore it is natural. On the other hand, the phrase “Angin tajam kering” that is translated become “The sharp, dry wind” in line 11 is idiomatic translation because based on the theory of Beekman and Callow (1986) argued idiomatic translation is the one which conveys the meaning of the original in the natural lexical and grammatical forms of the receptor language. In this kind of translation the focus is on the meaning conveyed in the linguistic form of the receptor language, thus it is natural.
The phrase “Tanah semata gersang” that is translated become “The barren soil” in line 11 is concerned modified literal translation because regarded the theory of Beekman and Callow (1986) stated that the modified literal translation occurs when the translator makes some lexical or grammatical adjustments to correct the errors arising from literalism, and produce something which is equivalent to the original, therefore it is natural.
Thesentence “Pasir bangkit menanduskan, daerah dikosongi” that is translated become “The swirling eroding sand, areas stripped of everything” in line 12-13 is idiomatic translation
because based on the theory of Beekman and Callow (1986) argued idiomatic translation is the one which conveys the meaning of the original in the natural lexical and grammatical forms of the receptor language. In this kind of translation the focus is on the meaning conveyed in the linguistic form of the receptor language, therefore it is natural.
The sentence “Kita terapit, cintaku” that is translated become “We are squeezed in, my love” in line 14 is idiomatic translation because based on the theory of Beekman and Callow
37 focus is on the meaning conveyed in the linguistic form of the receptor language, therefore it is natural.
The phrase “Mengecil diri” that is translated become “compressed, condensed” in line 15 is concerned modified literal translation because regarded the theory of Beekman and Callow (1986) stated that the modified literal translation occurs when the translator makes some lexical or grammatical adjustments to correct the errors arising from literalism, and produce something which is equivalent to the original, therefore it is natural.
The sentence “Kita lepas jiwa mencari jadi merpati” that is translated become “Free our searching souls to be like doves” in line 16-17 is idiomatic translation because based on the
theory of Beekman and Callow (1986) argued idiomatic translation is the one which conveys the meaning of the original in the natural lexical and grammatical forms of the receptor language. In this kind of translation the focus is on the meaning conveyed in the linguistic form of the receptor language, therefore it is natural.
The word “Terbang” that is translated become “Let’s fly” in line 18 is concerned modified literal translation because regarded the theory of Beekman and Callow (1986) stated that the modified literal translation occurs when the translator makes some lexical or grammatical adjustments to correct the errors arising from literalism, and produce something which is equivalent to the original, thus it is natural.
38 lexical or grammatical adjustments to correct the errors arising from literalism, and produce something which is equivalent to the original, therefore it is natural.
The phrase “ –the only possible non- stop flight” that is translated become “ –the only possible non- stop flight ” in line 21 is natural, actually the poet has borrowed language, that is
[image:54.612.66.489.264.365.2]why the translation of this phrase same, however this kind of translation is natural. 4.2.1.4 Unnaturalness in “Buat Gadis Rasid”
Table 4.4 : Unnaturalness in “Buat Gadis Rasid”
LINE SOURCE LANGUAGE TARGET LANGUAGE
9 Bangsa muda menjadi baru bisa bilang “aku”
The whole new nation, just old enough to say “Me”
15 Kadang bisa mengisar setapak sometimes able to take a single step_ 16 Mari kita lepas Let’s run off,
With regard to the unnaturallness criterions, the sentence “Bangsa muda menjadi baru bisa bilang “aku”” that is translated become “The whole new nation, just old enough to say
“Me” ” in line 9 is the unduly free translation which causes unnaturalness because refers to
Beekman and Callow (1985) argued the unduly free translation is on the extreme side of the highly literal one. The purpose of the unduly free translation is to make the message as relevant and clear as possible. In this kind of translation there are no distortions of the message arising from literalisms, though there are alterations of content, where the translation does not express what the original says or implies, thus it is unnatural.
The phrase “Kadang bisa mengisar setapak” that is translated become “sometimes able to take a single step” in line 15 is the highly literal translation, as Beekman and Callow (1989)
39 follows the order of the original word for word and with high consistency which mostly results in ambiguity, awkwardness, and unnaturalness.
The sentence “Mari kita lepas” that is translated become “Let’s run off” in line 16 is the unduly free translation which causes unnaturalness because refers to Beekman and Callow (1985) argued the unduly free translation is on
