xiii
ABSTRACT
Aryani, Dwi. 2011. Carla’s Quest for the Meaning of Life as Seen in Carla Van
Raay’s God’s Callgirl. Yogyakarta: English Language Education Study Program, Sanata Dharma University.
This study analyses God’s Callgirl, a novel written by Carla Van Raay. The novel pictures the author’s memoir. This novel is worth analyzing since it tells about a human being’s life journey as reflected through a viewpoint of a girl struggling to find the meaning of life.
The analysis focuses on how Carla, the main character of the novel, quest for the meaning of life. In order to achieve the goal, two problems are discussed in this study. Firstly, it deals with Carla’s portrayal as revealed in the novel. Secondly, it deals with her quest for the meaning of life, which is divided into three sections namely her struggle, her failure, and her finding the meaning of her life.
This study employed library research. The primary source was the novel itself. The secondary sources were books on psychology and literary theories, and internet sources which provided supporting data for this analysis. This study used theory of character and characterization to analyze the first problem and employs theory of logotherapy to discuss the second problem. It also applied the psychological approach since it concerns with the study of the mind and it influences one’s behaviour pattern.
Based on the analysis, Carla is portrayed as self-reproachful, naive, introverted, vengeful, and open minded. Those characteristics are revealed through character as seen by others, her speeches, her reactions, and her thoughts. Furthermore, the analysis shows that there are three ways how Carla shows her will to find the meaning of life. Firstly, it deals with her struggle to be a good child for her parents. Secondly, it deals with her struggle to be a good nun for God. Thirdly, it deals with her struggle to be God’s Callgirl. Unfortunately, Carla fails to find the meaning of life through those ways. Therefore, Carla carries out other ways to find the meaning of life. Carla leaves her work as prostitute to be a writer. Moreover, Carla attends to therapy programs for healing herself. In her struggle, Carla finally finds the meaning of life.
xiv ABSTRAK
Aryani, Dwi. 2011. Carla’s Quest for the Meaning of Life as Seen in Carla Van
Raay’s God’s Callgirl. Yogyakarta: Program Studi Pendidikan Bahasa Inggris, Universitas Sanata Dharma.
Skripsi ini menganalisa novel God’s Callgirl yang ditulis oleh Carla Van Raay. Novel ini menggambarkan riwayat hidup sang pengarang. Novel ini bermanfaat untuk dianalisa karena ini bercerita tentang perjalanan hidup seorang manusia, yang tercermin melalui sudut pandang seorang gadis yang berjuang untuk menemukan makna hidupnya.
Analisa berfokus pada bagaimana Carla, tokoh utama dalam novel, mencari makna hidup. Untuk mencapai tujuannya, dua permasalahan dibahas dalam skripsi ini. Pertama, dalam hubungannya dengan gambaran Carla seperti dipaparkan dalam novel. Kedua, dalam hubungannya dengan pencarian Carla untuk menemukan makna hidup, yang dibagi menjadi tiga bagian yaitu perjuangannya, kegagalannya, dan penemuan makna hidup.
Skripsi ini menerapkan penelitian perpustakaan. Sumber utamanya adalah novel itu sendiri. Sumber tambahan berasal dari buku-buku tentang teori psikologi dan literature, serta sumber dari internet yang menyediakan data yang mendukung untuk analisis ini. Skripsi ini menggunakan teori tokoh dan penokohan untuk menganalisa permasalahan pertama dan menggunakan teori logotherapy untuk membahas permasalahan kedua. Skripsi ini juga menggunakan pendekatan psikologi karena ini menyangkut tentang pikiran dan bagaimana hal tersebut mempengaruhi pola tingkah laku seseorang.
Berdasarkan analisa, Carla digambarkan sebagai menyalahkan diri sendiri, naif, tertutup, pendendam, dan berpandangan terbuka. Karakteristik tersebut ditunjukkan melalui karakteristik sebagaimana dilihat oleh orang lain, ucapannya, reaksinya, dan pemikirannya. Selanjutnya, analisa ini juga menunjukkan bahwa ada tiga cara bagaimana Carla memperlihatkan keinginannya untuk menemukan makna hidup. Pertama, usahanya untuk menjadi seorang anak yang baik bagi kedua orangtuanya. Kedua, perjuangannya untuk menjadi seorang biarawati yang baik bagi Tuhan. Ketiga, usahanya menjadi Sang Pelacur Tuhan. Sayangnya, Carla gagal menemukan makna hidup melalui cara-cara tersebut. Oleh sebab itu, Carla melakukan cara-cara lain untuk menemukan makna hidup. Carla meninggalkan pekerjaanya sebagai pelacur menjadi seorang penulis. Selain itu, Carla menghadiri program-program terapi untuk penyembuhan dirinya. Dalam perjuangannya, Carla akhirnya menemukan makna hidup.
CARLA’S QUEST FOR THE MEANING OF LIFE AS SEEN IN CARLA VAN RAAY’S GOD’S CALLGIRL
A THESIS
Presented as Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements to Obtain the Sarjana Pendidikan Degree
in English Language Education
By Dwi Aryani
Student Number: 041214078
ENGLISH LANGUAGE EDUCATION STUDY PROGRAM DEPARTMENT OF LANGUAGE AND ARTS EDUCATION FACULTY OF TEACHERS TRAINING AND EDUCATION
SANATA DHARMA UNIVERSITY YOGYAKARTA
i
CARLA’S QUEST FOR THE MEANING OF LIFE
AS SEEN IN CARLA VAN RAAY’S GOD’S CALLGIRL
A THESIS
Presented as Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements to Obtain the Sarjana Pendidikan Degree
in English Language Education
By Dwi Aryani
Student Number: 041214078
ENGLISH LANGUAGE EDUCATION STUDY PROGRAM DEPARTMENT OF LANGUAGE AND ARTS EDUCATION FACULTY OF TEACHERS TRAINING AND EDUCATION
SANATA DHARMA UNIVERSITY YOGYAKARTA
iv
“You are tempted in the same way that everyone else is tempted.
But God can be trusted not to let you be tempted too much,
And He will show you to escape from your temptations.”
(1 Corinthians 10:13)
“Don’t worry about anything, but pray about everything.
With thankful hearts offer up your prayers
and requests to God.”
(Philippians 4:6)
“Christ
gives me the strength to face anything.”
(Philippians 4:13)
I dedicated this thesis to those who love me: The Almighty God,
My lovely parents and family, My dearly loved partner,
vii
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
First of all, I would like to express my gratitude to the Lord Jesus Christ for His great blessing, love and mercy. I thank Him for guiding and giving me those people around me who always love me and support me so that I am able to finish this thesis.
My deepest gratitude goes to Drs. L. Bambang Hendarto Y., M.Hum., as my major sponsor for his compassion, willingness, guidance, patience, support, suggestions, and giving me the time to consultation on this thesis until it is done. My sincere gratitude also goes to Sanata Dharma University for giving me a nice place to study. I also express my gratitude to all PBI lecturers and staffs who have devoted their work, valuable knowledge, lessons and experiences during my study in Sanata Dharma University.
viii
educate me. My gratitude also goes to my beloved siblings, Ari Yanto, and Budi Tri Utami for all supports, love, and prayers which have given to me.
My special gratitude is dedicated to my dearly loved partner, Priya Begawan Yoga S., who always loves, supports, and grants me a space in his heart. I also thank him for being by my side in my ups and downs and for being there when I needed at the most.
I would like to express my special thanks to all my PBI friends, specifically Rita, Silvia, Nina, Tutik, Yuni, Yanu, and Dhion who have been very supportive to me. It was great to spend the years with them. My great thankfulness also goes to my lovely cousin Siswanto, S.S whose morning and midnight short messages had burnt my spirit to complete this thesis. I also thank him for the remarkable ideas shared to me.
Further, I would like to express my gratitude to Reta, Rina, Indri, Sari, Aline, Nana, Jati, and Rini for being my friends who had shared in the same struggle to finish this thesis. It was great to keep asking our thesis progress to each other. I would also like to thank a parking guard of Sanata Dharma University in Kota Baru, for telling me whether the lecturer was present or not every time I would like to have consultation on my thesis. I also thank him for drawing smiles on my face with his greeting.
There are many other people whom I cannot mention here one by one, but surely, I cannot complete this thesis without their helps and supports. God bless them all.
ix
TABLE OF CONTENTS
TITLE PAGE ... i
APPROVALPAGES ... ii
STATEMENT OF WORK’S ORIGINALITY ... iv
LEMBAR PERNYATAAN PERSETUJUAN PUBLIKASI KARYA ILMIAH ... v
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ... vi
PAGE OF DEDICATION ... viii
TABLE OF CONTENTS ... ix
ABSTRACT ... xiii
ABSTRAK ... xiv
CHAPTER I: INTRODUCTION ... 1
A. Background of the Study ... 1
B. Problem Formulation ... 4
C. Objectives of the Study ... 4
D. Benefit of the Study ... 4
E. Definition of Terms ... 5
CHAPTER II: REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE ... 8
A. Review of Related Studies ... 8
1. Character ... 8
x
b. Kinds of Character ... 9
2. Characterization ... 10
a. Definition of Characterization ... 10
b. Methods of Characterization ... 11
3. Critical Approach ... 13
4. Logotherapy ... 14
a. Base of Logotherapy ... 15
b. Processes of Finding the Meaning of Life ... 17
c. Failures of Finding the Meaning of Life ... 18
5. Success in Finding the Meaning of Life ... 20
B. Theoretical Framework ... 20
CHAPTER III: METHODOLOGY ... 22
A. Object of the Study ... 22
B. Approach of the Study ... 24
C. Method of the Study ... 25
CHAPTER IV DISCUSSION ... 27
A. The Description of Carla ... 26
1. Self-reproachful ... 28
2. Naive ... 30
3. Introverted ... 32
xi
5. Open-minded ... 34
B. Carla’s Quest for the Meaning of Life ... 35
1. Carla’s Struggle to Find the Meaning of Life ... 36
a. Being a Good Child for her Parents ... 37
b. Being a Good Nun for God ... 39
c. Being God’s Callgirl ... 41
2. Carla’s Failure to Find the Meaning of Life ... 43
a. The Failure of Being a Good Child for her Parents ... 44
b. The Failure of Being a Good Nun for God ... 45
c. The Failure of Being God’s Callgirl ... 46
3. Carla’s Finding the Meaning of Life ... 48
CHAPTER V: CONCLUSIONS AND SUGGESTIONS ... 53
A. Conclusions ... 53
B. Suggestions ... 56
1. Suggestion for Future Researchers ... 56
2. Suggestion for Teaching Learning Activities Using Literary Works 57
REFERENCES ... 59
APPENDICES ... 61
A. Summary of the Novel ... 61
xii
xiii
ABSTRACT
Aryani, Dwi. 2011. Carla’s Quest for the Meaning of Life as Seen in Carla Van
Raay’s God’s Callgirl. Yogyakarta: English Language Education Study Program, Sanata Dharma University.
This study analyses God’s Callgirl, a novel written by Carla Van Raay. The novel pictures the author’s memoir. This novel is worth analyzing since it tells about a human being’s life journey as reflected through a viewpoint of a girl struggling to find the meaning of life.
The analysis focuses on how Carla, the main character of the novel, quest for the meaning of life. In order to achieve the goal, two problems are discussed in this study. Firstly, it deals with Carla’s portrayal as revealed in the novel. Secondly, it deals with her quest for the meaning of life, which is divided into three sections namely her struggle, her failure, and her finding the meaning of her life.
This study employed library research. The primary source was the novel itself. The secondary sources were books on psychology and literary theories, and internet sources which provided supporting data for this analysis. This study used theory of character and characterization to analyze the first problem and employs theory of logotherapy to discuss the second problem. It also applied the psychological approach since it concerns with the study of the mind and it influences one’s behaviour pattern.
Based on the analysis, Carla is portrayed as self-reproachful, naive, introverted, vengeful, and open minded. Those characteristics are revealed through character as seen by others, her speeches, her reactions, and her thoughts. Furthermore, the analysis shows that there are three ways how Carla shows her will to find the meaning of life. Firstly, it deals with her struggle to be a good child for her parents. Secondly, it deals with her struggle to be a good nun for God. Thirdly, it deals with her struggle to be God’s Callgirl. Unfortunately, Carla fails to find the meaning of life through those ways. Therefore, Carla carries out other ways to find the meaning of life. Carla leaves her work as prostitute to be a writer. Moreover, Carla attends to therapy programs for healing herself. In her struggle, Carla finally finds the meaning of life.
xiv ABSTRAK
Aryani, Dwi. 2011. Carla’s Quest for the Meaning of Life as Seen in Carla Van
Raay’s God’s Callgirl. Yogyakarta: Program Studi Pendidikan Bahasa Inggris, Universitas Sanata Dharma.
Skripsi ini menganalisa novel God’s Callgirl yang ditulis oleh Carla Van Raay. Novel ini menggambarkan riwayat hidup sang pengarang. Novel ini bermanfaat untuk dianalisa karena ini bercerita tentang perjalanan hidup seorang manusia, yang tercermin melalui sudut pandang seorang gadis yang berjuang untuk menemukan makna hidupnya.
Analisa berfokus pada bagaimana Carla, tokoh utama dalam novel, mencari makna hidup. Untuk mencapai tujuannya, dua permasalahan dibahas dalam skripsi ini. Pertama, dalam hubungannya dengan gambaran Carla seperti dipaparkan dalam novel. Kedua, dalam hubungannya dengan pencarian Carla untuk menemukan makna hidup, yang dibagi menjadi tiga bagian yaitu perjuangannya, kegagalannya, dan penemuan makna hidup.
Skripsi ini menerapkan penelitian perpustakaan. Sumber utamanya adalah novel itu sendiri. Sumber tambahan berasal dari buku-buku tentang teori psikologi dan literature, serta sumber dari internet yang menyediakan data yang mendukung untuk analisis ini. Skripsi ini menggunakan teori tokoh dan penokohan untuk menganalisa permasalahan pertama dan menggunakan teori logotherapy untuk membahas permasalahan kedua. Skripsi ini juga menggunakan pendekatan psikologi karena ini menyangkut tentang pikiran dan bagaimana hal tersebut mempengaruhi pola tingkah laku seseorang.
Berdasarkan analisa, Carla digambarkan sebagai menyalahkan diri sendiri, naif, tertutup, pendendam, dan berpandangan terbuka. Karakteristik tersebut ditunjukkan melalui karakteristik sebagaimana dilihat oleh orang lain, ucapannya, reaksinya, dan pemikirannya. Selanjutnya, analisa ini juga menunjukkan bahwa ada tiga cara bagaimana Carla memperlihatkan keinginannya untuk menemukan makna hidup. Pertama, usahanya untuk menjadi seorang anak yang baik bagi kedua orangtuanya. Kedua, perjuangannya untuk menjadi seorang biarawati yang baik bagi Tuhan. Ketiga, usahanya menjadi Sang Pelacur Tuhan. Sayangnya, Carla gagal menemukan makna hidup melalui cara-cara tersebut. Oleh sebab itu, Carla melakukan cara-cara lain untuk menemukan makna hidup. Carla meninggalkan pekerjaanya sebagai pelacur menjadi seorang penulis. Selain itu, Carla menghadiri program-program terapi untuk penyembuhan dirinya. Dalam perjuangannya, Carla akhirnya menemukan makna hidup.
1
CHAPTER I
INTRODUCTION
This chapter presents the background of the study, problem formulation, objectives of the study, benefits of the study, and definition of terms. The background of the study explains the information of the topic and the reasons for investigating this topic. The problem formulation presents the research questions of this study. The objectives of the study explain the answer of questions stated in the problem formulation. The benefits of the study describe the advantages of this study. The definition of terms clarifies the important terms used in the study.
A.Background of the Study
Life is a gift from God for a person and it must be filled up with meaningful things as his gratitude. The meaning of life can be found by the person in all conditions and actions, for example in doing works, having conviction of the values of the truth, loving affection, and having good attitude. By filling his life with meaning, his life becomes meaningful for him.
main activator of one’s personality. This concept becomes one of bases in logotherapy as Frankl developed.
When one searches for meaning in his life, whether he likes or not, he will find problems. The experiences of solving the problems can give an important value to others. The important value also can be found by reading a literary work because literary works, such as a novel, give a true picture of human life. Novel can reflect and portray the real human life experiences that will give readers knowledge or ideas that provoke them to be more aware of the situation around them since it completely describes life experiences. Stanton (44) states in An Introduction to Fiction, ‘the peculiar strength of the novel is its ability to render a complex subject fully, to create a complete world’. This study specified in a novel
since novel describes characters, relationship between characters, situations, and conflicts completely.
Carla Van Raay’s God’s Callgirl is one of novels that portrays human life experiences and values. It tells us a story of a person who looks for a meaning of life. Carla, as the main character of the novel, always searches for a meaning of her life. Her efforts to find the meaning of life are shown from her actions through her life.
Searching for a meaning of life, Carla decides to become a nun at the age of eighteen as well as becomes a teacher. Unfortunately, she fails and then leaves the convent at the age of thirty. Next, as an ordinary woman, Carla needs to look for a job and get married. She breaks her marriage with James although they have already had a daughter named Caroline. After that, she meets a man named Hal and gets another daughter named Victoria but they never get married. The failure in her relations with men makes her feel more meaningless.
The willingness to be meaningful for her daughters forces Carla to earn money to finance one of her daughters. Then, she decides to be a prostitute. She is very excited about her job as she finds an inspiration and then she calls herself as God’s Callgirl, an extraordinary call for it is different from common prostitutes. Besides getting money, at first, she also finds that being a callgirl can help her clients solve their problems. At last, she finds that her decision to be a prostitute is inappropriate to find a meaningful life that it makes her lost her inner peace.
As a person who has a freedom of will, Carla tries to survive in order to find the meaning of her life again. After leaving her job as a prostitute, she struggles to find what she really wants to be. By finding and solving the real problem throughout her life, she finally finds her meaning of life.
Carla’s experience in searching for a meaning of life is an amazing story to
situations, even in a worst one, and it constantly happens in one’s life. However, Carla’s quest for the meaning of life always teaches us how people can find the
meaning of life in every condition, even in the bad situation in order to gain what life means for us. That is why this story is interesting to discuss.
B.Problem Formulation
There are two main questions which the writer formulated to analyze. Those are:
1. How is Carla, the main character, described in the novel? 2. How does Carla search for the meaning of life?
C.Objectives of the Study
The objective of the study is to analyse and to find out Carla’s quest for the meaning of life as seen in Carla Van Raay’s God’s Callgirl. Therefore, there
are two problems need to be answered in this study. The first is to find out the characteristics of Carla, the main character, as revealed in the novel. The second is to find out how Carla finds the meaning of life.
D.Benefits of the Study
This study deals with Carla’s quest for the meaning of life as seen in Carla
1. For students of English Education Study Program of Sanata Dharma
University
It is hoped that the study gives students additional knowledge how one struggles to search for the meaning of life and provides information to understand the novel better.
2. For the future researchers
It is hoped that this study can support future researchers resources for them in completing their study for it provides important information on Carla Van Raay’s God’s Callgirl and also offers some beneficial description about the main character and how she finds the meaning of life.
3. For the readers
It is hoped that the study gives the readers some important values since it tells about a human life experience. It teaches the readers to find the meaning of life in all conditions and situations. It encourages them to find their meaning of life in both good and bad situations.
E.Definition of Terms
This part will provide several terms which are going to be used in this undergraduate thesis. To avoid confusion and misunderstanding, those terms are needed to be defined and presented as follows:
1. Quest for
According to Hornby, quest for means “a long search for something,
knowledge or truth.” (1235). In this study, quest for refers to a person’s effort to
look for and gain her meaningful life.
2. Meaning of life
According to Frankl (171), meaning of life is the purpose in life. The meaning of life is found in every moment of living and life itself never ceases to have meanings, even in suffering and death.
3. Motivation
According to Petri (3) in Motivation Theory and Research, motivation is the concept we use when we describe the forces acting or on within an organism to initiate and direct behavior. Then, Frankl (154) in Man’s Search for Meaning: an Introduction to Logotherapy states the will to meaning really becomes the highest motivation of the people’s life.
4. Character
Abrams (20) in A Glossary of Literary Terms defines the term of character as a person in a dramatic or narrative work. He is interpreted by the readers as being endowed with moral, dispositional, and emotional qualities which stated in dialogues they say and the actions they do. In this study, character is a person who presented by the author to build a story through his action and expression.
5. Logotherapy
Logotherapy is developed by neurologist and psychiatrist Viktor Emil Frankl. The word logotherapy comes from the Greek word logos, which literally means “meaning.” Logotherapy focuses on the future, on the meanings to be
striving to find a meaning in one's life that is the primary. The meaning of life is the most powerful motivating and driving force in human. (http://www.nursingplanet.com/pn/logo_therapy.html).
6. God’s Callgirl
God’s Callgirl is a term Carla uses to call herself when she becomes a
prostitute. The term unexpectedly comes from Carla’s inspiration when she is at
an exhibition of ancient Chinese vases. Becoming God’s Callgirl, Carla visualises herself as someone who serves her customers out of a pure desire to balance their energy by offering them her services. God’s Callgirl has a vision that Carla and
8
CHAPTER II
REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE
This chapter consists of a review related to literature which is divided into two parts. The first part is review of related theories. It presents theory of character and characterization, theory of critical approach to literature, and theory of logotherapy. The second part is theoretical framework.
A.Review of Related Theories
This part consists of some important theories to support the analysis in this study, namely the theory of character and characterization, critical approach to literature, and logotherapy. The theory of character and characterization help to find out the description of the main character. The theory of critical approach to literature is important to understand the work of literature. The theory of logotherapy helps to find out the actions of finding the meaningful life dealing with the main character’s searching for a meaning of her life.
1. Character
a. Definition of Character
Definition of character is proposed by Stanton (17) in An Introduction to Fiction. According to Stanton, the term ‘character’ is used in two ways: firstly, it gives a particular description about individuals appearing in a story. Secondly, it refers to the mixture of interests, desires, moral principles which form the individual. Stanton also states that stories usually have a main character which is significant to all events in the stories and the main character usually causes conversion either in him or readers’ attitude toward him.
Another definition of character is proposed by Abrams (20) in A Glossary of Literature Terms. Abrams explains characters as persons in a dramatic or narrative work that are interpreted by readers. They are endowed with moral, dispositional, and emotional qualities which stated in dialogues they say and actions they do. He also adds that the grounds in the characters’ temperament,
desire, and moral nature for their speech and actions are called their motivation.
b. Kinds of Character
In Reading the Novel: An introduction to the Techniques of Interpreting fiction, Henkle (88-97) points out characters can be categorized as major and secondary ones. Major characters or the main characters are the most important and complex in a literary work or novel. They can be identified from their characterizations, the attention of the author and the readers, the attitudes of other characters to them, and the transmitting process of their character intensity. The major characters also build opinion that can establish the readers’ virtues. While,
limited. They may be less sophisticated. Therefore, their responses to the experiences in the story are also less complex.
Besides, Forster (46-54) in Aspects of the Novel and Related Writings states there are two types of characters in literature. They are flat characters and round characters. Flat characters are built around a single idea or quality. These kinds of characters are presented without much individualizing detail, and therefore can be fairly adequately described in a single phrase of sentence. One great advantage of flat character is that they are easily recognized whenever they come in a story. A second advantage is that they are easily remembered by the readers. They are static and remain stable in a story.
Different from flat characters, round characters are complex in temperament and motivation. These kinds of characters are represented subtle particularity so that they are difficult to be described with any adequacy as a person in real life. They are capable of surprising the readers. They are dynamic and posses many individual and unpredictable human traits.
2. Characterization
Understanding the theory of characterization is needed in analyzing the characters that appear in the novel. The analyzing characters are implied by understanding the definition of characterization and then knowing the methods of characterization.
a. Definition of Characterization
setting in which they move. Moreover, Rohberger and Woods, Jr. (20) define characterization as the processes employed by an author to create character. The creation of character includes particular personalities and physical attributes.
b. Methods of characterization
Murphy (161-173) in Understanding Unseen: An Introduction to English Poetry and the English Novel for Overseas Students proposes a theory referring to the presentation of characters in front of the readers, in order to make readers comprehend and capable to reveal the character’s personality and traits. According to him, there are nine ways in which an author attempts to make his characters understandable and alive to his readers as follows:
1) Personal description
In this way, the author can describe who a character is based on physical appearance and clothing. The physical appearance such as face, eyes, hair, skin, body, and the clothing such as how character wears clothes, what kind of clothes the character wears can make the readers have a better imagination about the character.
2) Character as seen by other characters
Here, the author also can introduce the character to the reader through the eyes and opinions of other characters. The author represents the character’s
3) Speech
The author can give the readers inside into the character’s speech.
Whenever the character speaks, whenever the character is involved in a conversation with other characters, whenever the character puts forward an opinion are the readers’ hints of the character.
4) Past Life
The author can give the past life of character in the story in order to make the readers understand the character well. The past life of the character can build a clue for the readers about events which catalyze in shaping the character’s
disposition. The narration is through descendant of direct comment from the author, the character’s thoughts, the character’s conversation, and also through the medium of another character.
5) Conversation of Others
Through conversations with other characters, the author can give clues to the readers in order to show the character’s personality. People often talk about other people and the thing they say may give us reference to the character of the person spoken about.
6) Reactions
The author may give clues to the character’s personality by letting the
who might expect to find the quality of the character in dealing with various situations and events.
7) Direct Comment
The author can bring comments over the character’s disposition which
facilitates the readers to understand the character. By giving comments explicitly about the character’s disposition and opinion about the character in the story, the
author has possibility to describe or comments on the character’s disposition directly.
8) Thought
The writer is able to give the readers direct knowledge of what the character is thinking about. When the character is in deep thoughts, the readers can get into the character’s mind. In real life, one cannot see into other’s mind but
in literary works, the character’s mind is readable. 9) Mannerism
The author can describe the character’s mannerism, habits, or idiosyncrasies. Moreover, by knowing how the person behaves and acts in the novel, the reader will be able to understand the person’s character that the author reveals the habits of the character both the positive and negative ones.
3. Critical Approach
Jr. (6-15) propose five kinds of critical approaches. Those approaches are the formalist approach, the biographical approach, the socio cultural-historical approach, the mythopoeic approach, and the psychological approach.
Every approach has its own characteristics, strengths, and weaknesses. That is why we should always consider in choosing the approach applied to a certain literary work because there is no single approach will suit to all kinds of literary work. We must consider and be able to choose the most appropriate approach that will suit to our analysis.
In this study, I use the psychological approach. Rohrberger and Woods (13) state that the psychological approach helps us to analyze the novel from psychological points of view of human beings. That is from the organization of thought and feelings of the character. Moreover, it also explains and understanding the human motivation.
4. Logotherapy
Frankl (154) starts his concept of the will to meaning from his criticism to the concepts of the pleasure principle by Freud and the will to power by Adler. He considers that those concepts simplify the existence and the behaviour of human being. Moreover, pleasure and power are not the main purpose of life but they are rewards from the actions of self-fulfilment that are based and directed on the will to meaning.
According to Frankl, meaning is unique and personal because of fact that people have their own way to find the meaning of life. Besides, it is also changeable along with the times and conditions in people’s life. It can be found by them in his works, art works and the worldview, even in the truth and love that they struggle and undergo personally. It shows that a person cannot give or entrust another person to create a meaning of life for him. In other words, only the person himself can feel and experience whether his life is meaningful or not and what the meaning of life for him is.
a. Base of logotherapy
Frankl (154-173) in Man’s Search for meaning and Introduction to Logotherapy explains that the will to meaning is the main activator of one’s personality. Furthermore, the freedom of will, the will to meaning, and the meaning of life become the base of logotherapy.
1) The freedom of will
self-condition but not the freedom from biological, psychological, and sociological aspects.
Taking a stand on the conditions, people can go out of biological and psychological dimension and then enter their spiritual dimension, where people can be as a noble creature different from other creatures. It is appropriate to an honourable term for a human as a self determining being. It means that, on the limitations, people have the ability and freedom to change their life condition in order to gain the more qualified life. The most important thing is that the freedom must be followed by the responsibility so that it does not become despotism. 2) The will to meaning
Logotherapy explains that people always want to be valuable and useful persons for themselves, their family, friends, work environment, society, and being worthy for God. People also want to love and be loved by others because they will feel worthy and glorious by feeling of love and being loved. For example, parents always want to love and be loved by their children, and also want to be able to do their functions in the family as good as possible. On the other hand, children also want to be loved and to be pride of their parents.
3) The meaning of life
The meaning of life is deemed as something important, worthy and giving a particular value to someone, in which it properly becomes the purpose in life. People will find their life worthy if they can fulfil the meaning of life. Then, the meaning of life is apparently in the life itself and able to be found in every condition either enjoyable or suffering condition, even death. Meaning in suffering or blessing in disguise shows that people can still find the meaning of life although they are in suffer. If the will can be fulfilled, the people’s life will be
useful, worthy, and meaningful. On the contrary, if the will cannot be fulfilled, the people’s life will be meaningless.
b. Processes of Finding the Meaning of Life
Frankl (69-79) in The Will to Meaning Foundation and Applications of Logotherapy explains that there are valuing processes that will enable someone to find a meaningful life. They are creative values, experiential values, and attitudinal values.
1) Creative values
doing works is only means that give a chance to find and develop one’s meaning of life.
2) Experiential values
Experiential values consist of conviction and experience to the values of the truth, the good deeds, the beautifulness, the spirit, the religion, and loving affection. For example, there are many people who can find their meaning of life in their religion and or in all things they do with arts. They are also able to find the meaning of life by experiencing of loving affection. They can find their life full of glorious feeling by feeling love and being loved. It shows that loving affection is one of the sources of the meaning of someone’s life.
3) Attitudinal values
Attitudinal values consist of sincerity, patience, and courage. The courage means the bravery of someone who accepts the suffering with his whole heart, such as the suffering of the incurable diseases and death. For example, people cannot change the situation while finding the suffering but they can change their attitude to endure their life. The attitudes determine them to find the meaning of life. Thus, it means that people can find the meaning in every situation, provided they can take the correct attitude to endure the situation.
c. Failure of Finding the Meaning of Life
sense of meaninglessness, emptiness, lost of the purpose in life, bored feeling, and apathy. This condition is termed as the existential vacuum that is caused by a frustration of the will to meaning (the existential frustration). The frustration is a result of the condition when people cannot find the meaning of life; even they have no will to meaning.
Nowadays, the existential frustration and existential vacuum have become a widespread phenomenon. There are people who have experienced a loss of the feeling that life is meaningful. It is caused by many factors, such as the missing of traditions and values.
According to Frankl (168), a failure of finding the meaning of life or the existential frustration is often directed to compensations. There are many kinds of compensations that people do, which almost all of the compensations are negative. The compensation can be some overly actions of the will to power, the will to pleasure, the will to sex, the will to work, and the will to money. On other words, in those overly actions, there is usually implied the meaningless life experience.
Although a full life experience without the meaning does not belong to a sickness, the intensive condition of its experiences can result noogenic neurosis, total character, and conformist character. The noogenic neurosis is a mood disorder that can inhibit one’s self-adaptation and achievement. The disorder is marked by boredom, emptiness, hopeless, lost of interest and initiative, even the meaningless life.
5. Success in Finding the Meaning of Life
Based on logotherapy, Schultz (115) in Growth psychology: Models of the healthy Personality concludes that people who have the meaning of life are describes as people who are free to choose their own course of action. They are personally responsible for the conduct of their lives and the attitude they hold towards their face. They are not determined by force outside themselves. They also have found a meaning in life which suits them. They are in conscious control of their lives. Besides, they are able to manifest creative, experiential, or attitudinal values. They have transcended the concern with self. They are oriented toward the future, directed toward future goals and tasks.
B.Theoretical Framework
In relation with the problem formulation, the approach and theories that have been discussed above are used to analyze the novel. They will be applied to answer the problems of this study. In this part, it explains which approach and theories used and how they are applied in the analysis.
Henkle are applied to determine what a sort of character Carla is, and the methods of characterization by Murphy are also used to obtain the complexity of Carla’s
characters revealed in the novel.
The second objective is to find out the causes of Carla’s quest for the
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CHAPTER III
METHODOLOGY
This chapter contains the methodology of the study, which is divided into three parts. The first part is object of study. It describes the novel God’s Callgirl and the focus of the study. The second part is the approach. It states the approach that is used in the study. The third part is the procedure. It explains the steps conducted in analyzing the novel.
A.Object of the Study
The object of this study is a novel entitled God’s Callgirl. It was written by Carla Van Raay. It was first published by Harper Collins Publisher in Australia in 2004. Printed in paperback, this novel consists of 441 pages which are divided into 29 chapters.
The novel God’s Callgirl by Carla Van Raay starts with the story of Carla’s childhood. Carla is born as a Catholic girl child in Tilburg, a little Dutch
town. In her childhood, Carla always wants to give the best for her parents but unfortunately she precisely often finds disappointing and hurting responses from her parents. Her father hurts her when he does sexual abuses to her. She cannot forget what her father does which makes her feeling pent up through her life. These experiences make her think that her parents do not really love her.
only Jesus who loves her. She turns her thoughts to Jesus and transfers her will to meaning for Jesus. She feels that she has a meaningful life at the beginning of becoming a nun. But then everything in her life changes when she faces many conflicts in the convent that bring her in suffer. It causes her to feel meaningless and apathy that she decides to quit and leave the community at the age of thirty three.
After leaving the convent, Carla’s life as an ordinary person starts. The
will to meaning directs her to do something. She looks for a job and gets married with a man. From her marriage, she gets a daughter. Unfortunately, she fails her marriage so that she gets a divorce from her husband and then just lives with her daughter Caroline. In no time, she gets a relationship with a man named Hal and has another daughter named Victoria. Unfortunately, Hal leaves her and then marries with another woman. Carla continues her life with Victoria because Caroline wants to live with her father James. She looks for a job to earn money to finance their needs. It is difficult to find a job with high payment so that Carla decides to be prostitute for good money and has fun as well, but life is getting worse when she finds the existential frustration of life that makes her have a feeling of guilt, meaningless, emptiness, and apathy. Because of having the will to meaning, Carla always directs herself to do something to find the meaning of life. Finally, she can find the meaningful life after solving her existential frustration of life.
meaning so that they find the meaningful life. Moreover, people can find the meaning of life in all conditions but they can also lose it. It is hoped that the novel inspires people in general to find the meaning of life in all conditions so that they finally find the meaningful life.
B.Approach of the Study
A certain approach to analyze a literary work is needed to give a border of aspects to discuss in a study. The approach gives background of knowledge on the study and it is very helpful to develop the analysis based on the work to discuss. In Reading and Writing about Literature, Rohrberger and Woods, Jr. (3) say that a critical approach to literature necessitates an understanding of its nature and positive values. One must know what literature is, how to read it, and how to judge it. In relation to the topic, the writer applies the psychological approach in analyzing the main character of the story.
The approach for the analysis of this study is the psychological approach. Since the study is related to the theory of psychology, logotherapy is applied to dig out the main character’s motivation, personality, and behavior patterns. It is
Furthermore, the psychological approach is used to analyze how Carla, the main character of this novel, manages to find the meaning of life so that she finally finds the meaningful life. It is used to discover what ways in psychology Carla carries out to find the meaning of life. The psychological approach is also employed to explore what aspect that motivates Carla to find the meaning of life and how the aspects influence her behavior to find the meaning of life.
C.Method of the Study
Some steps were carried out in order to complete the thesis. This part explains the steps taken in concluding this study. This study is a library research since references are mainly found from books. The primary source was taken from the novel written by Carla Van Raay, God’s Callgirl. Furthermore to analyze the novel, there are some important books on literature, books on psychology, and other resources accessed from the internet as secondary sources. To understand about literary theories, especially theories on Character and Characterization, some resources from books on literature and psychology are taken to deepen the analysis.
reading the novel for several times, I found a great topic to discuss. I was interested in how Carla struggles to find the meaning of life. Then, I decided to analyze Carla’s quest for the meaning of life and to have a deeper understanding on how she manages to find it.
After deciding the topic, I formulated the problem formulation to discuss. Then, I search and read books and resources that would help me in analyzing the novel. I read some books discussing theories that could support my analysis. They were theory of character and characterization, and theory of logotherapy. Besides, I also read some articles from the internet related to the novel.
After finding enough data as the basis of the study, I started to analyze the novel. At first, I analyzed the description of Carla as the main character of the novel. Then I analyze how Carla searches for the meaning of life.
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CHAPTER IV
DISCUSSION
This chapter is divided into two parts. The first part is the answer of the description of Carla, the main character of the novel. The second part concerns the quest of Carla to find the meaning of life.
A.The Description of Carla
According to Stanton (17), the word “character” refers to people who are in the novel. It has very important position and function in a story. In this novel, Carla is the most significant character because she is the key of the novel. Based on the theory proposed by Henkle (88-97), Carla is considered as the major character since she is the center of the story. Besides, Carla becomes the focus of any act on the whole story. Based on the theory of character proposed by Foster (46-54), Carla is considered as a round character since she has complexity in temperament and motivation. She is built around several ideas or traits of human nature.
methods is very essential to analyze Carla’s description. Therefore, only some of them are implemented in this analysis. In this novel, Carla is described as:
1. Self-reproachful
Carla is a self-reproachful person who often blames herself when others feel disappointed on what Carla has done, eventhough she is not actually wrong. Besides, Carla prefers accepting people’s blame to quarrelling with those people. In the novel, it can be seen that Carla feels guilty to God by keeping her father’s
secret. Carla thinks that she makes a sin since she does not have any courage to admit her mistake to the priest. Carla gradually feels guilty. Moreover, she thinks that she has hurt Jesus, especially after she listens to story of Jesus’ sacrifice. In addition, Carla blames herself for causing Jesus’ death as she has made a sin by not confessing her sin to the priest (Van Raay 21-22).
Concerning her sin, Carla does not want to die early. She is afraid that she will fall into the hell if she makes any sin in her life. Being anxious, Carla conspires with the devil to delay her death and to avoid the hell before she relieves herself for her sin (Raay 30).
My heinous prayer to the devil came out of the deepest desolation and abandonment. After a while, I felt that my prayers had been answered. I survived. But the guilt at my betrayal of God was terrible. It stopped me from breathing and eating, and I started to get things wrong, which in turn meant being derided by my father and the children at school (Van Raay 30-31).
betrayed. Her father’s face is a mixture of derisive accusation and genuine puzzlement. Her mother is also barely breathing, intents on trying to understand her. Their pain finally hits her and breaks her heart so that makes her feel self-reproachful (Van Raay 262).
After Carla leaves the convent, she marries James and has a daughter named Caroline with whom James lives with after the marriage unfortunately ends. Then, she has a relationship with Hal and has a daughter named Victoria but unfortunately the relationship is also over. Carla becomes a single parent for her daughter Victoria. She needs a job to support their life. Carla decides to be a prostitute because she thinks that she can get money easily. She finds a vision to inspire her to work as a prostitute by calling herself as God’s Callgirl. She thinks that God’s Callgirl will be helpful for her clients because she provides them what they need at the same time. However, there is a guilty feeling in her initial conviction of becoming God’s Callgirl that her sexual contact with men will give them spiritual benefit.
I condemned myself for encouraging what I call ‘men’s alienated behaviors’. My guilt was intense. I couldn’t see that my clients’ motivation wasn’t my business. I couldn’t see that I was arrogant to believe that I could understand what they were thinking. What had happened to my initial conviction that my sexual contact with men would benefit them spiritually? Was I allowing myself to be intimidated by society’s mores? That wouldn’t have been possible unless there was some guilt lurking inside me, waiting to be triggered. But the guilt had been there long before. I started my work. I had chosen a profession that would prove to me that I was guilty (Van Raay 354).
feeling of meaningless. If this condition cannot be stopped, she will not find her meaning of life.
2. Naive
In the novel, Carla is described as a naive girl. She is lack of experience, knowledge and ability to judge something, while she believes that what people have told her is the truth. When Carla studies at Vaucluse, Mother Anthony who teaches her mathematics tells that ‘Kissing makes you pregnant.’ Because of her naivety, Carla accepts the statement as the true one. Consequently, it influences her acts in making relationships with any men. When Carla develops a relationship with Keith three months before Carla becomes a nun, Keith is sad because Carla never allows him to kiss her mouth since she is afraid of being pregnant (Van Raay 92).
Carla’s naivety can also be seen when she is a nun, especially when she does not get her period. Mother Mary John is really surprised when she hears that. Mother Mary John responds to the report from the linen mistress that Carla has not ordered sanitary pads for five months by calling Carla to her office.
‘Where have you been, Sister?’
Been? I had been nowhere special. My interrogators watched me closely. The tension was electric.
Mother Mary John finally became specific.’Did you go to the village at all, Sister?’
After leaving the convent, Carla enters an anonymous secular world in which she feels completely unnerving because she is lack of experience to socialize with other people outside the convent. Carla’s naivety also can be seen in her difficulty to adapt to the secular world. She tries to pay attention on how people around behave. She feels that she is strange in the world of social intercourse. Even more, she does not know what a post office is for. She also does not know how modern adult behaves socially. She observes people around her to give her some ideas and listens to their banter (Van Raay 266-267).
Carla’s naivety is also can be seen when she gets pregnant after getting married with James. When her pregnancy is six-months old, she and her husband join a business of Golden Product but they are tricked by this business. They lose all of their money. She says: ‘James and I lost all of our savings to Golden Products’ (Van Raay 283).
Was this a test of some kind? At the time, that thought didn’t enter my mind. I took this gift to mean that he did not want me to be lonely while he was gone…
… I wrote to Hal about the encounter in glowing terms, thanking him for the condom. It had served its purpose after all!
Hal was deeply hurt. He wrote his disappointment in a terse letter. I was confused, but in hindsight I can see I should not have been surprised. I determined to be more careful with Hal’s feelings, and to stay out of the way of other men (Van Raay 315).
From the discussion above, it is obvious that Carla is naive. It can be observed through her reactions, and her thought. She is lack of knowledge which makes her believe that people always tell her the truth.
3. Introverted
In Carla’s childhood, she grows up to be an introverted person because of keeping a secret of which her father has done a sex abuse to her. She is more interested in concerning her own thoughts and feelings than spending time with other people. Carla is too anxious if people know what has happened between her and her father. She cannot share the secret to anyone.
‘She’s growing too fast,’ they all said, ‘maybe that’s why she’s become so skinny, and so shy, as well. ‘They might have added, ‘So shy that is scared to look at you, and wants no one to even notice her.’
mother, a sister, a child asking for helps, a nurse, and a creative problem-solver (Van Raay 50).
Through character as seen by others and her thought when Carla is a child, it can be concluded that she is an introverted girl. She is more interested in concerning her own thought and feelings than spending time with other people. She cannot share her feeling with anyone. She is more interested in sharing with her dolls than sharing with other people.
4. Vengeful
Carla is a vengeful girl. She keeps the feeling of vengeance on what her father has done to her. Her father has done sexual abuses repeatedly to her when she is a child and he has threatened Carla not to tell others, even the priest. She feels painful so that she cannot forget it along her life (Van Raay 26-30).
The most unforgettable moment is a moment once happens in the coal shed, where her father works to make shoes and create toys for Christmas and birthdays. Carla’s father calls her there and then he shuts the door quickly without turning on the light. He threatens her violently in order to his daughter keeps the secret.
My father’s face was contorted in a terrible in a terrible way and he could barely get his words out. His hands found their way first around my shoulders, shaking them violently, and then suddenly around my neck as he began to strangle me. His tone was ugly, reminding me of the kind of talking that was not allowed in our house…
unable to answer, pulsing one moment with the hopeless desire to plead, the next with the desire to die, until finally I was overcome by fear of actually dying. (Van Raay 29)
Carla’s desire of vengeance also can be seen in some moments when she comes to the therapists after Hal urges her to visit them. It is caused by Hal’s suspect that there is something in her past that seriously needs to be healed. In her therapy process, Carla often finds glimpses of her father’s body when she is asked to close her eyes and imagine something. Then, it causes her feeling of vengeance. She says to herself, ‘there was no love left in me then, and no pleading, no questions; there was only overwhelming desire to punish him. And with all the intension I could muster, I cursed him’ (Van Raay 372).
From the discussion above, it is obvious that Carla is vengeful. It can be analyzed from her thoughts, her speech and her reactions. What her father does when she is a child leaves a strong feeling of vengeance on her. This feeling comes up when she grows older. She realizes it while she is having therapists to heal herself.
5. Open-minded
On the therapy programs she attends, she learns to tell and share her problems. Carla often has conversation with the therapist. There are so many questions and instructions that have to be answered by Carla. She gets many good values from the programs until she can find the real healing she really needs (Van Raay 369-435).
Carla also realizes that she has been locked into a endless conflict unconsciously. She does not give up when some therapies do not effectively succeed. She keeps on attending to any therapy programs although she cannot solve her problems instantly (Van Raay 374)
From the discussion above, through Carla’s thoughts and speeches with the therapists, it is obvious that Carla is open-minded person when she receives Hal’s suggestion to go to the therapists. She starts seeing her problem on the other sides by sharing and telling others about it. She also can find some positive values by becoming open-minded person.
B.Carla’s Quest for the Meaning of Life
Carla also wants to find the meaning of life. She does many things and tries to do the best for finding the meaning of life. Frankl (154) states “man’s search for meaning is a primary force in his life and not a ‘secondary
rationalization’ of instinctual drives.” The statement explains that the will to
meaning motivates people to do actions so that life becomes useful and worthy. In this Novel, Carla also does some actions and works in quest for the meaning of life. She struggles in her life to find the meaning of life that will give her happiness.
1. Carla’s Struggle to Find the Meaning of Life
Carla’s life consists of several moments or situations that are different for times to times through her life. According to Frankl (172), “as each situation in
life represents a challenge to man and presents a problem for him to solve, the question of the meaning of life may actually be reserved.” Man’s search for meaning insists that one has his own specific vocation or mission in life that must be fulfilled by himself, not by others. Carla faces situations in her life, which represent a challenge and a problem to be solved, where a question of the meaning of life is reserved. Moreover, she has to answer the question as responsibility in finding the meaning of life.
for her parents, to be a good nun for God, and to be God’s Callgirl. They will be analyzed as follows:
a. Being a Good Child for her Parents
Carla is a child who loves her parents, especially her father. Carla tries to make her parents, especially her father, happy and proud of her. She is proud of her father. Carla is amazed at her father’s handsome appearance and ability to play a violin and a harmonica. She is in awe of his expertise in playing them although he often plays the same tunes repeatedly that annoys her mother.
Carla takes a pity and loves her father more because she knows that her mother hates him while he is playing his violin or harmonica. Carla says to herself, ‘I was in awe of his expertise, but my mother considered it a vulgar thing. She said his repertoire was boring. Poor Dad; for him, it would have been enough if she had never said out loud that she hated it’ (Van Raay 12).
Carla really loves her father so much. Her love also can be seen in her obedience of keeping the secret that her father commits sexual abuses to her even though it makes her get cough for weeks and months when she is three years old. She shows her obedience to show that she is a good child for her father.
In the mornings, the taste of it was still in my mouth. I thought I’d had an awful dream. In the beginning, when I was only three, I wanted to retch, vomit, get rid of it; then, out of the blue, I developed whooping cough. I coughed and coughed for weeks and moths but couldn’t get rid of what was choking me; could never wash my throat clean. But gradually, because I was a though child and loved my father unquestioningly, I adjusted (Van Raay 27).
carries things that are far too heavy for her, to show her father how strong she is. She wants to be stronger than any boy around in the age. Even more, Carla proves it by challenging the boys to fight her so that she is considered as a superior among them. Her actions are also helpful for her brothers and sisters because she will fight anyone who hurts her brothers and sisters (Van Raay 57).
Besides, Carla regularly winsthe annual running race organized by parents for the local kids. That Carla loves her father can be seen when she chooses the prizes of her win. She always chooses the things which her father can use. She feels to be meaningful at the moment when her father laughs and shows he is proud of her. Then, she feels very happy because of her father’s happiness.
I just had to win for him, and the whole neighborhood seemed to know this too and cheered me on. Afterwards I would look up at him breathlessly, showing him the bottle of sherry or whatever that I’d chosen as a prize. I was white with anxiety and exhaustion: Now, Papa, will you think that I’m good enough? Now, will you respect me? I didn’t care that the prizes I’d chosen were things I couldn’t use myself –my papa could use them; that’s what mattered to my love-starved soul. He laughed, my papa did; he was proud of me. I was painting with pleasure and with an inexplicable pain in my heart (Van Raay 58).
b. Being a Good Nun for God
Carla’s struggle to find the meaning of life is obviously seen when she decides to be a nun. When she is thirteen, she thinks that she can find the meaning of life by having a very close relationship with God. Frankl (176) states that people can find the meaning of life by dealing with experiential values like having a close relationship with God. She pours out her heart to God in the church at playtime and lunchtime. She is sure that God must love her, while no one else does. She loves God even though she has never met God before. Her experiences of the value of religion bring glorious feeling to Carla. She loves God and feels beloved by God too. she creates an imaginary relationship that is her version of a relationship with the Divine. Then, it guides her to decide to be a nun one day, an ultimate lover of God (Van Raay 82).
After the brave ceremony, my family was there to congratulate me. My father held me tight and kissed me on the mouth until my mother whispered urgently for him to stop. With his mouth still on mine, I opened my eyes and saw my mother agitated face. She was looking around to see who might be noticing this tableau. In that unconscious moment of conclusion with my father, I felt all desperate conclusions of the past paying off. My father was proud of me at last. I had finally succeeded! (Van Raay 128).
She tries to be the best novice she can be. As a dutiful novice, she should have total respect to her elders. She tries to do the best by doing every work that she has to do in the convent. She explains, ‘I tried to be the very best novice I could be. I made the parlours look as if no one ever used them, and the floors of the corridors shone with my waxing, polishing and endless mopping’ (Van Raay 135).
After Carla becomes a novice, the ceremony of making her first real commitment with the triple poverty, chastity, and obedience, is carried out two years later. Then, she becomes a nun who commits to live humbly in serving God for ten years before she decides to leave the convent. She has obeyed a duty of being sent to the order’s teacher-training college at Sedgley Park in England for three years. As her commitment on serving God, she has tried to be a good nun and to do her best in every duty she has for ten years until finally she decides to leave the convent. Frankl (158) states, “Man is never driven to moral behaviour; in each instance he decides to behave morally. Man does not do so in order to satisfy a moral drive and to have a good conscience; he does so for the sake of a cause to which he commits himself, or for a person whom he loves, or for the sake of his God.” In this novel, Carla’s will to meaning also can be seen when she
c. Being God’s Callgirl
Carla continues to find the meaning of life by taking an opposite way from previous experience. She becomes a prostitute. She decides to be a prostitute because she has to afford her life with her daughter. It points out the freedom of will, one of Logotherapy bases (Frankl 158). She has her own freedom to decide what she will do and not do for her life and to take a stand on her condition responsibly. She tries to find the meaning continuously.
As a prostitute, she thinks she can earn better and have fun as well. She works for a pimp at first but then she decides to work from home. She is very choosy in choosing her clients because she prefers businessman to other profession one. By having few clients, she thinks that her clients feel comfortable and safe. Besides, by becoming a prostitute, she feels herself wholly a woman, being in love with sex, enjoying men’s compliments and attentions. Then, the clients give her the honour of paying her well. The payment is a form of appreciation for her. It gives her a sense of self-worth (Van Raay 292-303)
Carla always tries to regard her job as a prostitute positively. There is one occasion which inspires her. It is when she is attending an exhibition of ancient Chinese vases in Perth. She is completely mesmerized on the picture which is painted on the vase that there are Chinese nuns, who are fully dressed, but clearly in coitus, offering their vulvas to well-hung men who look like a travelling merchant.
