vi ABSTRACT
Aryani, Ayu Nyoman. 2016. Conversational Styles and Misunderstanding in Cross-Sex Conversations in He’s Just Not That into You Movie. Yogyakarta: Sanata Dharma University.
Conversation is a social interaction among societies. At the same time, people interact with the same-sex or cross-sex members. In this case, gender differences in daily communication lead to men’s and women’s different point of views in performing styles of the conversations. Misunderstanding is likely to occur in cross-sex conversations when the idea or thought are understood differently by men and women. The researcher was interested in analyzing the use of conversational styles by men and women. Besides, the researcher was also interested to investigate the misunderstanding phenomena that happened in cross-sex conversations.
There were two formulated questions in this research. They were 1) Which conversational styles are used by Alex and Gigi in He’s Just Not That Into You movie? 2) What factors affect the misunderstanding in their conversations (cross-sex conversations)?
This research was qualitative research in which discourse analysis was employed to analyze the data. The researcher analyzed cross-sex conversations between Alex and Gigi, the central characters of He’s Just Not That Into You movie that used as the primary data. The spoken conversations were transcribed in a written form and it has been analyzed to answer the two research questions.
The researcher identified that the conversational style used by Alex as a male character in the cross-sex conversations were qualifiers, controlling the topics, verbal fillers, intensifiers, swear words, compound requests, tag questions, questions, interruptions, overlapping, and talk domination. Meanwhile, Gigi, as a female character used qualifiers, controlling the topics, verbal fillers, intensifiers, swear words, tag questions, questions, interruptions, overlapping, talk domination, and silence. In answering the second question, the researcher discovered factors that affected the misunderstanding in the cross-sex conversations between Alex and Gigi were involvement versus independence and message versus metamessage.
vii ABSTRAK
Aryani, Ayu Nyoman. 2016. Conversational Styles and Misunderstanding in Cross-Sex Conversations in He’s Just Not That into You Movie. Yogyakarta: Sanata Dharma University.
Percakapan merupakan interaksi sosial antar masyarakat dalam kehidupan sehari-hari. Pada saat yang bersamaan, orang-orang berinteraksi dengan anggota lain yang sama atau berbeda gendernya. Dalam hal ini, perbedaan gender dalam komunikasi sehari-hari mengarah kepada perbedaan sudut pandang para pria maupun wanita ketika menunjukkan gaya dalam percakapan. Kesalahpahaman pun kemungkinan besar dapat terjadi dalam percakapan beda gender, dimana ide atau pemikiran dimengerti dengan cara yang berbeda oleh pria maupun wanita. Peneliti tertarik untuk menganalisa penggunaan gaya percakapan oleh pria dan wanita. Selain itu peneliti juga tertarik untuk menyelidiki fenomena kesalahpahaman yang terjadi di percakapan beda gender.
Terdapat dua rumusan masalah dalam penelitian ini: 1) Gaya percakapan apakah yang digunakan oleh Alex dan Gigi pada film He’s Just Not That Into You? 2) Faktor apakah yang mempengaruhi kesalahpahaman yang terjadi di percakapan mereka (percakapan beda gender)?
Penelitian ini merupakan penelitian kualitatif dimana analisis wacana digunakan untuk menganalisa data. Peneliti telah menganalisa percakapan beda gender yang dilakukan oleh Alex dan Gigi, pemeran utama dalam film He’s Just Not That Into You yang digunakan sebagai data utama. Hasil percakapan telah ditranskripsikan ke dalam bentuk tertulis dan telah dianalisa untuk menjawab kedua rumusan masalah penelitian.
CONVERSATIONAL STYLES AND MISUNDERSTANDING
IN CROSS-SEX CONVERSATIONS
IN
HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
MOVIE
A SARJANA PENDIDIKAN THESIS
Presented as Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements to Obtain the Sarjana Pendidikan Degree
in English Language Education
By
Ayu Nyoman Aryani Student Number : 121214095
ENGLISH LANGUAGE EDUCATION STUDY PROGRAM DEPARTMENT OF LANGUAGE AND ARTS EDUCATION FACULTY OF TEACHERS TRAINING AND EDUCATION
SANATA DHARMA UNIVERSITY YOGYAKARTA
i
CONVERSATIONAL STYLES AND MISUNDERSTANDING
IN CROSS-SEX CONVERSATIONS
IN
HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
MOVIE
A SARJANA PENDIDIKAN THESIS
Presented as Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements to Obtain the Sarjana Pendidikan Degree
in English Language Education
By
Ayu Nyoman Aryani Student Number : 121214095
ENGLISH LANGUAGE EDUCATION STUDY PROGRAM DEPARTMENT OF LANGUAGE AND ARTS EDUCATION FACULTY OF TEACHERS TRAINING AND EDUCATION
SANATA DHARMA UNIVERSITY YOGYAKARTA
vi ABSTRACT
Aryani, Ayu Nyoman. 2016. Conversational Styles and Misunderstanding in Cross-Sex Conversations in He’s Just Not That into You Movie. Yogyakarta: Sanata Dharma University.
Conversation is a social interaction among societies. At the same time, people interact with the same-sex or cross-sex members. In this case, gender differences in daily communication lead to men’s and women’s different point of views in performing styles of the conversations. Misunderstanding is likely to occur in cross-sex conversations when the idea or thought are understood differently by men and women. The researcher was interested in analyzing the use of conversational styles by men and women. Besides, the researcher was also interested to investigate the misunderstanding phenomena that happened in cross-sex conversations.
There were two formulated questions in this research. They were 1) Which conversational styles are used by Alex and Gigi in He’s Just Not That Into You movie? 2) What factors affect the misunderstanding in their conversations (cross-sex conversations)?
This research was qualitative research in which discourse analysis was employed to analyze the data. The researcher analyzed cross-sex conversations between Alex and Gigi, the central characters of He’s Just Not That Into You movie that used as the primary data. The spoken conversations were transcribed in a written form and it has been analyzed to answer the two research questions.
The researcher identified that the conversational style used by Alex as a male character in the cross-sex conversations were qualifiers, controlling the topics, verbal fillers, intensifiers, swear words, compound requests, tag questions, questions, interruptions, overlapping, and talk domination. Meanwhile, Gigi, as a female character used qualifiers, controlling the topics, verbal fillers, intensifiers, swear words, tag questions, questions, interruptions, overlapping, talk domination, and silence. In answering the second question, the researcher discovered factors that affected the misunderstanding in the cross-sex conversations between Alex and Gigi were involvement versus independence and message versus metamessage.
vii ABSTRAK
Aryani, Ayu Nyoman. 2016. Conversational Styles and Misunderstanding in Cross-Sex Conversations in He’s Just Not That into You Movie. Yogyakarta: Sanata Dharma University.
Percakapan merupakan interaksi sosial antar masyarakat dalam kehidupan sehari-hari. Pada saat yang bersamaan, orang-orang berinteraksi dengan anggota lain yang sama atau berbeda gendernya. Dalam hal ini, perbedaan gender dalam komunikasi sehari-hari mengarah kepada perbedaan sudut pandang para pria maupun wanita ketika menunjukkan gaya dalam percakapan. Kesalahpahaman pun kemungkinan besar dapat terjadi dalam percakapan beda gender, dimana ide atau pemikiran dimengerti dengan cara yang berbeda oleh pria maupun wanita. Peneliti tertarik untuk menganalisa penggunaan gaya percakapan oleh pria dan wanita. Selain itu peneliti juga tertarik untuk menyelidiki fenomena kesalahpahaman yang terjadi di percakapan beda gender.
Terdapat dua rumusan masalah dalam penelitian ini: 1) Gaya percakapan apakah yang digunakan oleh Alex dan Gigi pada film He’s Just Not That Into You? 2) Faktor apakah yang mempengaruhi kesalahpahaman yang terjadi di percakapan mereka (percakapan beda gender)?
Penelitian ini merupakan penelitian kualitatif dimana analisis wacana digunakan untuk menganalisa data. Peneliti telah menganalisa percakapan beda gender yang dilakukan oleh Alex dan Gigi, pemeran utama dalam film He’s Just Not That Into You yang digunakan sebagai data utama. Hasil percakapan telah ditranskripsikan ke dalam bentuk tertulis dan telah dianalisa untuk menjawab kedua rumusan masalah penelitian.
viii
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
First of all, I would like to express my deepest sense of gratitude to The Almighty God, for blessing and guiding me to finish my thesis. He always gives me chances to learn to be a better person.
My special thanks go to my thesis advisor, Drs. Barli Bram, M.Ed., Ph.D., for his guidance and valuable contribution to help me finish my thesis. He kindly encouraged me to give my best in my thesis. I would also like to express my sincere gratitude to all my lecturers in ELESP for the valuable advice and knowledge that I have learned throughout my four-year study in Sanata Dharma University. They gave me much experience to be a great teacher in the future. Last but not least, I acknowledge my gratitude to my beloved family and friends who always give me love and continuous support even when I get difficulties in finishing my thesis.
ix
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Page
TITLE PAGE………... i
APPROVAL PAGES……….. ii
STATEMENT OF WORK’S ORIGINALITY……… iv
PERNYATAAN PERSETUJUAN PUBLIKASI……… v
ABSTRACT……… vi
CHAPTER II REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE……… 8
A. Theoretical Description………... 8
1. Language and Gender……… 8
2. Conversational Styles……… 9
3. Misunderstanding in Cross Sex Conversations………. 15
4. Discourse Analysis……… 19
B. Review of Related Studies……….. 20
C. Theoretical Framework……… 22
CHAPTER III RESEARCH METHODOLOGY……… 23
A. Research Method………. 23
B. Research Setting……….. 24
C. Data Source……….. 25
D. Data Gathering Technique………... 26
x
F. Research Procedure………. 28
CHAPTER IV RESEARCH RESULTS AND DISCUSSION………... 31
A. The Conversational Style Used by Alex and Gigi………... 31
1. Qualifiers………... 33
B. The Factors of Misunderstanding in Alex’s and Gigi’s Conversations……….. 44
1. Involvement versus Independence……… 44
2. Message versus Metamessage………... 46
3. Cooperative versus Competitive……… 49
CHAPTER V CONCLUSIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS………... 51
A. Conclusions……….. 51
B. Recommendations……… 52
REFERENCES……… 54
xi
LIST OF TABLES
Table Page
Table 3.1 Observation Checklist ...27 Table 3.2 Observation Checklist of Alex’s and Gigi’s
xii
LIST OF APPENDICES
Page
A. Scene 1………... 56
B. Scene 2………... 60
C. Scene 3………... 63
D. Scene 4………... 65
E. Scene 5………... 69
F. Scene 6………... 71
G. Scene 7………... 73
1 CHAPTER I INTRODUCTION
This chapter consists of six sections that discuss an introduction to the research. The introduction covers the general information related to the topic, the reasons why the researcher chose the topic, the research problems which used as a guideline to hold this study, the benefits of conducting the research, and the main terms that used in the research.
A. Research Background
According to Tannen (1986), “conversation is a turn-taking game” which means we start to talk when our partner is finished to talk and vice versa (p. 47). Generally, misunderstanding is likely to occur in a cross-sex conversation since both men and women have different rules in their conversations.
Misunderstanding is a social phenomenon that we often experience in our social life. As we know that interactions may create different ways of using language by the speakers. Tsutsui (2008) argues that there will be a possibility to be understood differently by others when we express our thoughts or ideas. In this case, the researcher connects the misunderstanding phenomenon with the use of language in social life.
were talking to each other. In conducting the research, the researcher used discourse analysis as the data analysis technique.
The researcher chooses this topic because the researcher is curious about how gender influences people’s interaction, especially when men and women communicate to each other in society. The researcher is also curious about how misunderstanding can be created through men’sand women’s conversation (cross-sex conversation). In this case, the researcher explores the possible factors that trigger misunderstanding in cross-sex conversations.
Moreover, the researcher develops Gemilang’s (2014) study where it is also about conversational styles. The researcher is interested in exploring one of the main topics, cross-sex conversations. The researcher also develops Suciu’s (2015) journal which discussed the influence of communication in building a relationship in sociolinguistic perspectives. This study will be helpful for the society in learning the use of language in their social life. This research will also be beneficial for students of the English Language Education Study Program in enriching their knowledge about the influence of gender in performing conversational styles. Besides, they can learn about the social phenomenon that might happen in cross-sex conversations in sociolinguistic perspectives.
B. Research Problems
1. Which conversational styles are used by Alex and Gigi in He’s Just Not That into You movie?
2. What factors affect the misunderstanding in their conversations (cross- sex conversations)?
C. Research Limitation
The focus of this research is on two points. First, the use of conversational styles by main characters in the He’s Just Not that into You movie, Gigi and Alex when they are talking to each other. In this case, the researcher analyzed the differences between men’s and women’s conversational style in their communication. Second, the factors that make Gigi and Alex get misunderstanding in their conversations. In this case, the researcher identified which part of their conversations which lead them to get misunderstanding. Besides, the researcher also related the obtained data with the theories that had been reviewed.
D. Research Objectives
This research is conducted to reach the following objectives:
1. To identify the use of conversational styles by Alex and Gigi in their conversations.
E. Research Benefits
This research is for all the people who want to learn about men’s and women’s language. The researcher hopes that this research will be used as a reference
for people who are conducting further research about it. This research hopefully can inform the readers who want to know about how men and women are talking in their own ways and how misunderstanding can be created through cross-sex conversations. 1. Society
It is hoped that this research will give information about the understanding of conversational styles in communication. How societies from different genders influence different characteristic in making conversation. It helps them to be more open-minded then accept those characteristics differences. Besides, the researcher hopes that both men and women in society will be more aware of understanding the differences of their conversational styles. The information in this research hopefully will be useful in their further conversations so that they can decrease the degree of creating misunderstanding in their conversations.
2. English Language Education Study Program (ELESP) Students
3. Future Researchers
This research is expected to be an appropriate reference where it will inspire future researchers who are interested in conducting a research that concerns about the conversational styles of men and women. The researcher hopes that this research will help the future researcher to deepen one of the main points of the research topic.
F. Definition of Terms
In order to give a better understanding, this section defines some main terms which are frequently used in this research. There are three main terms namely conversational style, cross-sex conversation, and He’s Just Not That into You movie. 1. Conversational Styles
According to Tannen (1987), a conversational style is “a semantic process; it is the way meaning encoded in and derived from speech” (p. 251). In this research, conversational styles refer to how men and women speak through their conversation with their own ways.
2. Cross-Sex Conversations
3. Discourse Analysis
According to Brown and Yule (1983), discourse analysis is an investigation of what that language is used for (p. 1). Discourse analysis concerns with the interpersonal use of language in everyday human interaction (p. 3). By conducting discourse analysis, questions about the language’s roles in social life can be answered.
4. He’s Just Not That into You Movie
He’s Just Not That into You movie is a Hollywood Movie which tells about
8 CHAPTER II
REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE
This chapter presents three sections which consist of review of related theories, review of related studies, and theoretical framework. The first section presents the relevant theories which related to the main topic. The second section explains the previous studies which are developed by the researcher. Meanwhile, the third section discusses the relation between the theories and the research itself.
A. Theoretical Description
There are four parts of the main theories that will be discussed in this section. Those parts describe language and gender, the conversational styles, misunderstanding in cross-sex conversation, and discourse analysis.
1. Language and Gender
In general, language is used by the human being as media to facilitate communication. By using language, people can deliver ideas, information and even knowledge to the others. Eckert and Ginet (2006), state that “language is a highly
structured system of signs or combinations of form and meaning”. In this case,
Gender is something which cannot be avoided in social life because
Wardhaugh (2010) argues, “Gender is a key component of identity” where it becomes
a part of the way in which societies are doing interaction (p. 334). It is supported by Holmes (2008) that men tend to keep their masculinity while women tend to keep their femininity in terms of using language. Both men and women have different purposes and also different ways in expressing their utterance through the use of language.
2. Conversational Styles
This section elaborates the definition and the types of conversational styles by reviewing some theories in order to support this research.
a. The Definition
When people interact, they create communication through conversation. In a conversation, someone will talk when his or her partner has finished talking and vice versa. According to Tannen (1986), the conversation is “a turn-taking game” (p. 47). Furthermore, style in a conversation is considered as a part of criteria which is used to judge the personality on each person itself. Sapir and Mandelbaum (1985) define
style as “an everyday facet of speech that characterizes both the social group and the
individual” (p. 542).
conversational style are the basic tools of talk – the way we show what we mean
when we say (or don’t say) something.” Furthermore, she explains that the main
signals of conversational style are pacing and pausing, loudness, and pitch, where those are commonly thought of as intonation (p. 46)
b. Men’s and Women’s Conversational styles
Lakoff (1973) reveals that the way of men and women using grammatical
construction is clearly different. She states that men are more likely “straightforward”
rather than women when they express their utterance grammatically (as cited in Arliss, 1991). It is also supported by Pearson (1985), who mentions that there are several conversational styles differences between men and women. Those are qualifiers, controlling the topic, verbal fillers, intensifiers, profanity, compound requests, tag questions, questioning, interruption, overlaps, talk domination, silence (p. 181).
1) Qualifiers
Qualifiers or “hedges” is used to soften the strength of a statement. Pearson
(1985) defines that hedges “indicate some measure of uncertainty about the other
person’s response to it” (p. 186). For example, if a speaker clearly describes a best
friend as “pretty”, but adds “I think,” then the utterance is weakened by the
2) Controlling the Topics
Pearson (1985) claims when the speakers can define reality, they have the power to control the topic in a conversation (p. 194). In this case, speakers who can explain topics which related to our real life, they will easily control the topic. Haas and Sherman (1982) report that women tend to talk about topics related to personal matters and the things about daily life. On the other hand, men tend to talk about money, news, and everything about sports (pp. 453-454).
Moreover, Dorval (1990) reveals the changing of topics is more frequently done by men rather than women (as cited in Gumperz, 1982). This concept is supported by Goodwin (1990) where women have a tendency to develop each other topics rather than introducing new topics like what men do.
3) Verbal Fillers
Pearson (1985) explains that verbal fillers are used when the speaker fills in a silence of their conversation. The words or phrases like right, okay, well, and you know are frequently used by women rather than men, especially in cross-sex conversations. Apparently, people tend to avoid silences when they are talking, that is why they use it (p. 186). Furthermore, Fishman (1980) suggests that when woman speaker uses verbal filler you know, it means that she tend to keep the conversation going especially in cross-sex conversation (as cited in Coates, 1993, p. 112).
4) Intensifiers
really, and awfully that are used to exaggerate the strength of a statement. For example, by adding the word so, on the sentence “I am so proud of you”. The word so, that is used as an intensifier makes a speaker wants to emphasize his or her emotional message.
5) Swear Words
Swear words are commonly used by men and women in conversations. The speakers use them when they want to show their emotional expression to particular
conditions around them. Lakoff (1975) notes that “men use stronger expletives
(damn, shit) than women (oh dear, goodness). 6) Compound Requests
Generally, the speakers are using compound requests when they add words or phrases which soften the request. For example, when a speaker says Turn off the light, please rather than says Turn off the light! She or he tends to be more polite. In fact, Thorne and Henley (1975) mention that men are less frequently than women in using compound requests.
7) Tag Questions
Tag questions formulation is one of the grammatical constructions which are identified by Lakoff (1975), who mentions that tag question is used when the speaker
8) Questions
Men and women use questions for different goals. Maltz and Borker (1982) assert that in order to maintain the conversation women use the questions more than man. In this case, they use the questions as speech act which needs an answer. Moreover, they state that the way of using questions by women are “their general
strategy for conversational maintenance”. Men, on the other hand, use more questions as a signal of asking for information. The difference of interpretation in using the questions can be one of the potential reasons for causing misunderstanding.
Pearson (1985) argues that there is a relation between using questions and self-disclosure. When a speaker shares his or her personal information about themselves, it will trigger the questions from the other speaker. Generally, women tend to disclose their own personal information than men. Meanwhile, men are more likely respond to speaker’s self-disclosure with advice.
9) Interruptions
Zimmerman and West (1975) conclude that interruptions are considered as
“violation of the turn-taking rules of conversation”. Furthermore, they explain that an interruption will occur when a second speaker begins to speak while a first speaker is still speaking and has not finished yet his or her last word which can be defined as the last statement. Pearson (1985) also argues that people interrupt because they believe
that the message they want to offer is more important than the first speaker’s
First speaker : I’m sorry to bug you, I just …
Second speaker : (---interruption---) it’s OK don’t worry. 10) Overlapping
Pearson (1985) defines an overlap happens if the second speaker begins to
speak at the ending point of the first speaker’s turn which means the first speaker’s
last word. In addition, she describe that overlaps occur for the same reason as interruption: the second person believes that she or he proposes more important message (p. 198). On the other hand, the second speaker is very excited about talking. The following is an example of an overlapping:
First speaker : I would like to buy a ticket to Coldplay’s live concert Second speaker: (---(overlap)---) Me too!
First speaker : next week. 11) Talk Domination
Basically, conversations are controlled by a speaker who is more powerful than the other. The powerful speaker means a speaker who is dominant in a conversation. Most of the popular opinions reveal that women are the one who talk more than men. Indeed, men talk more than women. This fact is asserted by Thorne
(1981) where men are treated as “experts” in conversation. They are involved in more
Pellegrini (1980) also suggests that male and female speakers who are well-informed use different principles in interactional styles. Male speakers use a style of interaction based on power while female speakers use it based on solidarity and support (as cited in Coates, 1993, p. 113).
First Speaker : Okay. But what if I'm the exception?
Second Speaker : No, you're not. You're not at all. In fact, you’re the rule. And the rule is this: if a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't wanna call you.
The example above shows that the second speaker dominates the conversation when talking about the fact of guy rules. The second speaker acts like an expert by explaining more about the topic (see Appendix A, pp. 52-53).
12) Silence
Pearson (1985) states that women speakers tend to silence where they are not
sure of the other speaker’s reaction to their comment. More often, they explain that women speakers were silent more than men speakers in crossed-sex conversations (p. 198).
3. Misunderstanding in Cross-Sex Conversations
a. The Definition
In a cross-sex conversation, men and women tend to use their own rules to say what they mean. Conveying utterances in natural styles give something different to those whose styles differ. Tannen (1995) reveals that when styles differ, misunderstanding is likely to occur. She explains that men and women have different ways of going about talking things out, and different assumptions about the significance of going about it. Men and women in a conversation belong to cross-cultural communication. Here, gender is the main factor which affects the goal of communication itself. Men and women are different because they are facing a different process in their life. Tannen (1986) mentions that the environment treats them to have a different habit of life. They have different world since they were born. It takes them to have a different social background in dealing with society (p. 133). b. Factors of Misunderstanding in Cross-Sex Conversations
The different ways of using conversational styles lead men and women to have different perceptions in understanding the meaning of communication. Here, conflicts can be created when they communicate to each other. In her theory, Tannen (1986) promotes some women and men differences in conversational styles. There are three factors namely involvement versus independence, message versus metamessage, and cooperative versus competitive.
1) Involvement versus Independence
solving the problem of communication. Tannen (1986) argues that involvement and independence are two different things which always arise in a conflict of communication itself.
What is more, she explains that women tend to stay for involvement where they can get a kind of intimacy in order to reach the goal of communication. For them, intimacy is about getting a connection where being understood without saying what they mean is the result on how they can get the involvement successfully. Alice Walker (1989) remarks on her novel titled The Temple of My Familiar that women are looking for someone who is able to hear them (as cited in Tannen, 1991). It is supported by Maltz and Borker (1982) where they reveal that women tend to see that
conversations can be a kind of “therapeutic” for them. This means that they see an
opportunity to share something like problems, experience, support, or even reassurance when they do the conversation.
According to Tannen (1986), men tend to stay for independence where they do not have to explain all of the things to their partner in communication, especially women. They think that get involved means no freedom at all in deciding something. Maltz and Borker (1982) also add that for men, sharing their personal problem is considered as not a normal conversation.
trying to be helpful (Tannen, 1991, p. 28). In other words, when men and women talk to each other, the real problem is that each expects a different kind of response.
2) Message versus Metamessage
Both men and women have different perceptions in catching the meaning of what the speaker are talking about. It is also the same when they convey the meaning of what they want to talk about. Tannen (1986) states that women are more listening to metamessage where it is about getting the understanding of what they have said
explicitly in words. “Metamessages can be seen in what is not said as well as what is
said” (p. 137). Here, metamessage lets the women speaker tend to interpret what someone is saying by identifying the activity that is going on. At the same time, metamessage lets the speakers know what position the speaker is assuming in the activity and what position we are being assigned (Tannen, 1991, p. 15). In other words, women's style is focused on the relationship or metamessage level.
In contrast, men's style is more literally focused on the message level of talk. Men are more interested in utterances which sound to the point. In addition, they do not really catch the real meaning behind the message and the attitude from who they are talking to, especially to women. As a result, men and women have different point of views on almost any comment when they are interpreting the meaning of their conversations. It will also cause a problem between men and women.
3) Cooperative versus Competitive
children in different gender have the chance on learning how to communicate with others in their surroundings. Tannen (1986) examines that “between the age of five and fifteen when children are learning to have conversations, they play mostly with
friends of their own sex” (p. 142).
Their surroundings especially the same sex playmates contribute big influence on the ways of talking when they grow up. Furthermore, Tannen (1991) identifies
that “girls like to play cooperatively” where they will establish and maintain the
relation they have built by involving their friends to know their secret. This means that the way of talking the secret is more important than the secret itself. That best friend is all about. Conversely, boys like to play competitively where they will
“maintain their own story and status” to be accepted as an equal for the others.
Mostly they are talking about who is the best at what and it belongs to competitive talk (p. 143).
4. Discourse Analysis
intentions and how hearers interpret what they hear, the discourse analysis will be useful in answering questions which focus on human life and communication (pp. 6-7). In short, discourse analysis considers how languages, spoken or written, enact social and cultural perspectives and identities (Gee, 2001, p. 1).
According to Brown and Yule (1983), there are two kinds of texts as the representation of the discourse namely written text and spoken text. The word of text is used as a technical term in order to refer to the verbal record of a communicative act (pp. 5-6). Moreover, they also describe that discourse analysis applied the two different functions of language namely transactional and interactional. The transactional function refers to the function which language serves in the expression of content while the interactional refers to the function that involves expressing social relations and personal attitudes (p. 1).
B. Review of Related Studies
communication. The first episode is the interview of Oprah Winfrey and Jane Fonda which represents single sex conversations. Meanwhile, the second episode is the interview of Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry which represents cross-sex conversations.
The researcher developed Gemilang’s study where she made this study more specific. The researcher only analyzed one type of conversations, mixed-sex conversation. The researcher, in addition, identified the conflict happened in the
conversations that considered as the result of men’s and women’s different point of
views in using conversational style.
Second, Suciu (2015) conducted a sociolinguistics study on the influence of communication in building relationships. She explained how communication itself can make or even break the relationships. Her study focused on factors that lead the speakers to get misunderstand. Moreover, she used Theory from Tannen (1986) as the
basic reference in his study. Suciu’s journal was published in the Journal of
Romanian Literary Studies.
Similarly, the researcher also conducted the same topic and then the researcher expanded the analysis by using conversations in the movie as the data resource. In addition, the researcher also combined the factors of misunderstanding with the use of conversational style by the characters in the movie.
C. Theoretical Framework
misunderstanding in a conversation. Even though men and women are facing the same situation, they have different assumptions to understand the meaning or even solve the problem when they communicate.
In order to answer the first question where it is about the use of conversational styles by Gigi and Alex in their conversation, the researcher uses the theory which is suggested by Pearson (1985). The researcher uses her theory as the basic foundation to solve the first research question.
The second question is the factor that affects misunderstanding, exists in cross-sex conversations of He’s Just Not That into You movie. In order to answer the question, the researcher uses the theory from Tannen (1986). She claims that there are three main factors that can create misunderstanding between men and women in a conversation namely involvement versus independence, message versus metamessage, and cooperative versus competitive.
23
CHAPTER III
RESEARCH METHODOLOGY
The researcher classifies this chapter into some different parts namely research method, research setting, research subject, data gathering technique, data analysis technique, and research procedure.
A. Research Method
This research was a sociolinguistic study that is concerning on language, and its society. According to Holmes (2008), sociolinguistics is “the study of the relationship between language and the context that is used” (p. 1). In this case, the study is conducted by using sociolinguistics as the main concept of the research because the researcher wanted to find the relationship between the use of conversational styles by men and women in cross-sex conversations. In other words, both men and women have different ways to communicate in society then the researcher wanted to find how the way of they communicate influence their relationship especially in cross-sex communication.
and how they feel. As a result, the participant’s experience will lead a qualitative researcher to get the understanding of social reality (p. 23). In this part, the researcher applied qualitative research as the method by identifying Alex’s and Gigi’s conversational styles and analyzing the misunderstanding phenomenon that appeared in their conversations.
In analyzing the data, the researcher used discourse analysis technique. In this case, the researcher concerned with the context of communication in cross-sex conversations by using spoken text. The spoken text dealt with He’s Just Not That into You movie that represented spoken language by Alex and Gigi. In this part, the researcher changed it into written transcription so that it would be easy to be analyzed.
B. Research Setting
C. Data Source
The data source of this research was a movie titled He’s Just Not That into You where the story is about four different couples who had the different perception of their relationship. The Hollywood movie which was directed by Ken Kwapis was released in 2009. This American romantic comedy-drama movie was adapted from Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo's best-selling self-help book with the same title, He’s Just Not That into You.
The researcher chose one of the couples, Gigi (Ginnifer Goodwin) and Alex (Justin Long) who are the central characters of the movie. Gigi is the representation of a woman who has a feminine character while Alex is the representation of a man who has a masculine character. The researcher analyzed the way of how they communicate each to other in some scenes of the movie.
D. Data Gathering Technique
There are some steps in gathering the data of this research. First, the researcher downloaded He’s Just Not that into You movie in YouTube. Second, the researcher selected Alex’s and Gigi’s conversations in some scenes from the transcript version of this movie so that the researcher could classify Alex and Gigi’s conversations into some scenes easily. Third, the researcher made the observation checklist in the form of tables. By using the observation checklist, the researcher could identify Alex and Gigi’s conversations.
E. Data Analysis Technique
The technique of analyzing the data was done in some steps. Firstly, the researcher observed the videos of He’s Just Not That into You movie in some scenes. The scenes which have been chosen were representing how the characters, Alex and Gigi use conversational style. For the second step, the researcher analyzed the dialogue of the characters which has been selected previously in the form of a transcript. The two research questions which had been formulated would be connected to the researcher’s analysis. That had to be done in order to answer the research questions.
or not used by Gigi and Alex by placing it on another table (see Table 3.2). The explanation related to the Table 3.1 and Table 3.2 will be elaborated further.
Table 3.1 Observation Checklist
The table above shows the observation checklist that used by the researcher to analyze the conversational style of Alex and Gigi in He’s Just Not That into You movie. There are possible conversational styles that used by Alex and Gigi in their conversations, consist of qualifiers, controlling the topics, verbal fillers, intensifiers, interruptions, overlapping, swear words, compound requests, tag questions, questions, talk domination, and silence. The researcher identified Alex’s and Gigi’s utterances that represent those possible conversational styles.
No. Speaker Conversational Style Cases Conversational Style
Table 3.2 Observation Checklist of Alex’s and Gigi’s Conversational Styles
Table 3.2 represents the list of possible conversational styles used by Alex and Gigi in their conversations. After completing the table 3.1, the researcher identified the conversational styles that are used by placing a thick sign (√ ) and the conversational styles that are not used by placing a cross sign (X).
F. Research Procedure
This section summarizes the procedure of this research. There were four steps which are conducted by the researcher to accomplish this research namely selecting research problem, reviewing the theories, analyzing research data, and concluding research results.
1. Selecting research problem
He's Just Not that into You movie, the researcher was curious to know the social phenomenon which appears through the use of conversational styles by men and women. Besides, the researcher was also curious to explore the factors that trigger misunderstanding in cross-sex conversations.
2. Reviewing the theories
In order to conduct this research successfully, the researcher reviewed some theories from the experts which are related to the research topic. In this step, the researcher reviewed some theories about men’s and women’s conversational styles and factors that affect misunderstanding in cross-sex conversations as the fundamental theories to answer the research questions. Besides, the researcher also used the theories from several experts in order to support the research analysis.
3. Analyzing research data
In this step, the researcher divided two ways of using the instrument. First, the researcher collected the data by downloading the movie, He’s Just Not That into You. Besides, the researcher also made the transcript of the dialogue so that it would be analyzed easily. Second, the researcher analyzed the data on the use of conversational style by Gigi and Alex on the movie. In this case, the researcher also identified misunderstanding which happened in their conversations.
4. Concluding research results
5. Reporting the research
31 CHAPTER IV
RESEARCH RESULTS AND DISCUSSION
This chapter presents the combination of research results and discussion based on the two formulated questions which are mentioned in Chapter I. This chapter consists of two sections. First, are the conversational styles used by Alex and Gigi. Meanwhile, the second are factors that affect misunderstanding between Alex and Gigi.
A. The Conversational Style Used by Alex and Gigi
Table 4.1 List of Alex’s and Gigi’s Conversational Style
Table 4.1 presents the list of conversational styles used by Alex and Gigi in their conversations. From the obtained data, the researcher identified that Alex used qualifiers, controlling the topics, verbal fillers, intensifiers, swear words, compound requests, tag questions, questions, interruptions, overlapping, and talk domination. Meanwhile, Gigi used qualifiers, controlling the topics, verbal fillers, intensifiers, swear words, tag questions, questions, interruptions, overlapping, talk domination, and silence. 11 conversational styles out of 12 were used by Alex and Gigi in their conversations.
1. Qualifiers
The researcher discovered that qualifiers were more frequently used by Gigi rather than Alex in their conversations. Alex used qualifiers 12 times, while Gigi used qualifiers 25 times. Both of them used qualifiers or hedges in order to soften their statement.
Some examples of using the qualifiers by Alex and Gigi in their conversations are described as follows:
[1] Gigi : See when I said "meeting someone" I guess that was kind of a broad term, kind of a wide interpretation of the word meeting. In example [1], Gigi used qualifiers three times in her utterance (see Appendix A, p. 56, item 7). She used the words guess and kind of to soften her statement about meeting someone. In this case, she tried to explain to Alex that women have the different interpretations of the word “meeting”.
[2] Alex : Or maybe he just didn't call because he has no interest in seeing you again.
For the same purpose, Alex also used qualifiers as in example [2]. He used qualifiers twice by saying the words maybe and just in order to explain to Gigi that there was a possibility of the man whom they talked about, had a specific reason to not call Gigi (see Appendix A. p. 58, item 24).
2. Controlling the Topics
eight times. In this case, Alex was the powerful speaker who can switch more topics in their conversations.
[3] Gigi : I'm really sorry to bug you. I thought you had some really good insights and I wanted to ask you a question.
Alex : Okay, look, now I need to be harsh with you, Conor’s never gonna be interested in you, Gigi.
The situation of the conversation above was Alex thought that Gigi would talk about Conor on their beginning part of their conversation (see Appendix B, p. 60, items 38-39). Alex directly gave his opinion about Conor when he said “Conor’s never gonna be interested in you, Gigi” without asking Gigi what question she wanted to ask. In other words, Alex as a man speaker tended to switch the topic of their conversation.
[4] Gigi : You won't let me go out with guys who don't like me. It's kind of limiting.
Alex : I was just gonna leave a message, I'm having a party at my place next weekend. You should come.
On the other hand, Alex called Gigi and kept controlling the topic on their beginning part of the conversation as in example [4]. He directly asked Gigi to come
to his party when he said, “I was just gonna leave a message, I'm having a party at
my place” (see Appendix E, p. 69, items 115-116).
[5] Alex : Yeah. He's a friend of my brother's. Bill. We'll all meet for a drink, it'll be good.
When Gigi controlled the topic as in example [5], she switched the topic by
asking what she should do to Alex “So, I'm in his bathroom right now. What do I do?
(see Appendix C, p. 64, items 76-77). 3. Verbal Fillers
In order to avoid silence, both Alex and Gigi used verbal fillers in their conversations. The following examples that portray the use of verbal fillers by Alex and Gigi are described as follows:
[6] Alex: Well, I‟m just trying to help.
In example [6], Alex used the word well as verbal fillers in the beginning part of his utterance (see Appendix B, p. 62, item 58). He just wanted to help Gigi when
said “…I’m just trying to help”. When he still thought about his statement, he used a verbal filler in order to fill the pause in front of his utterance.
[7] Gigi : Because there were, you know, signs.
Gigi used the words you know as verbal filler in the middle of her utterance as in example [7] (see Appendix G, p. 74, item 142). In other words, Gigi tried to keep the conversation with Alex by using verbal filler you know.
4. Intensifiers
The researcher identified Alex and Gigi used intensifiers in order to exaggerate their emotional feeling. The result shows that Alex frequently used more intensifiers rather than Gigi. Alex used 12 intensifiers while Gigi used nine intensifiers.
[8] Alex : I had no idea it would be such a madhouse.
When Alex talked to Gigi about the situation of the party in his house, he used the intensifier such to describe the place in something specified as in example [8] (see Appendix F, p. 71, item 122). In this case, he described his house as a chaos place by using the word madhouse.
[9] Gigi : Is it your sensitivity that makes you so popular with women? The word so in example [9] was used by Gigi to exaggerate the description about Alex (see Appendix B, p. 62, item 55). She wanted to express her curiosity about Alex. She was concerning with the emotional feeling in expressing her opinion about Alex.
5. Swear Words
In their conversation, Alex used some swear words. The researcher identified that he used swear words four times. It was different from Gigi where she used swear words twice in her utterances. In this case, both of them did the swearing in order to show their emotional expression.
[10] Alex : The "spark" thing is bullshit.
In example [10], Alex gave his statement to Gigi about the “spark” that they
talked about. Here, he tried to say that he did not believe about “the spark” (see Appendix D, p. 67, item 95).
[11] Alex : Why would you do this? Oh shit.
In a different situation, Alex did the swearing Oh shit to show his disappointment over what Gigi had done as in example [11] (see Appendix G, p. 74, item 147). His question “Why would you do this?” represented that he did not really understand why Gigi thought that Alex was run into him.
[12] Alex : Trust me, if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit. He
genuinely doesn‟t give a shit. No exceptions.
When Alex wanted to explain to Gigi about guy rules as in example [12], he uttered the taboo words, doesn’t give a shit (see Appendix A, p. 59, item 30). In other words, he wanted to explain that if the man who treated Gigi were not interested in her, it means that he really was not interested in Gigi.
[13] Gigi : I may do a lot of stupid shit, but I know I'm a lot closer to finding someone than you are.
Example [13] shows that Gigi also did the swearing by using the words stupid shit to express her disappointment over Alex (see Appendix G, p. 75, item 154). Gigi recognized that she had done the stupid thing to Alex but she defended herself that what she had done was still right.
In example [14], Gigi also did the swearing when she wanted to express her
emotional feeling to Alex when she said “You may not get hurt or make an ass of
yourself that way” (see Appendix G, p. 75, item 153). In this case, Gigi was angry to Alex and thought that Alex would not get hurt and even made himself as a foolish. 6. Compound Requests
The researcher identified Alex was the only one speaker who used compound requests in his utterance. He used it when he tried to ask Gigi to do some things in the party like in the example [15].
[15] Alex : Listen, I gotta go make a liquor run. But it looks like the food could use some refreshing. Would you mind helping and refilling the chips?
From the example above, it shows that Alex used the words would you mind to soften his request to Gigi (see Appendix F, p. 72, items 128-129). By using the words would you mind Alex seemed to show his politeness to Gigi.
7. Tag Questions
The conversations that represent the use of tag questions by Alex and Gigi are explained as follows:
[16] Alex : I thought I better come up with some really great excuse to get over here. That how it's done, isn’t it?
In example [16], Alex used formal tag question which seemed that he did not need a certain answer of his statement to Gigi (see Appendix H, p. 76, item 160).
Example [17] indicates that Alex used informal tag question to show his
feeling of unsure to Gigi “Over a week went by, okay?” (see Appendix A, p. 58, item
22).
[18] Gigi : Aren't these man secrets like why men need to watch televised golf?
Gigi used tag question once when she wanted to ask about man secrets to Alex, as in the example [18] (see Appendix A, p. 59, item 31). The obtained data shows that Alex used tag questions three times while Gigi only used one tag question. The interesting part of this case is that the female character, Gigi, used fewer tag questions than the male character, Alex. In other words, Lakoff‟s (1975) theory that mentions women use more tag questions than man was not proved in this research (see Chapter II, p. 12). Both of them used tag questions in order to show their feeling of unsure about the things they talked about.
8. Questions
The researcher analyzed that Alex asked 22 questions to Gigi in the whole of conversations. Meanwhile, Gigi asked 19 questions less than Alex.
[19] Alex : Conor's not coming in tonight. Did he forget he was supposed to meet you?
really wanted to find the information about Conor when he asked, “Did he forget he
was supposed to meet you?”
[20] Gigi : So, what, now I'm just supposed to run from every guy who doesn't like me?
Alex : Yeah.
Gigi asked a question about herself when she faced a guy who did not like her as in example [20] (see Appendix C, p. 64, items 71-72). In this case, she did not really need specific information from Alex. She just wanted to make Alex responded her question in order to ensure that the conversation was still continuous.
Examples [19] and [20] clearly present that between Alex and Gigi asked questions for different goals of communication. Alex asked more questions rather
than Gigi because he totally requested the particular information from Gigi‟s problem
so that he could give advice to Gigi. 9. Interruptions
The researcher identified that Gigi only interrupted Alex once. Meanwhile, Alex was the only one speaker who performed the interruptions four times. The obtained data shows that men speaker used more interruptions than women do.
Here are the following examples of interruptions which had done by Alex when he spoke to Gigi:
[21] Gigi : He might have used some derivative of that. So, he says he's
going to call, but then gave me his card and he says….
From example [21], interruptions happened when the second speaker, Alex, suggested an important message to the first speaker, Gigi (see Appendix B, p. 61, item 44). When Gigi was talking about Connor, Alex interrupted her and informed that what she thought about Connor was wrong. By using men‟s perspective, Alex
tried to explain that Conor actually did not like Gigi even they had a date “Oh, he's
not interested.”
[22] Alex : Would you mind helping and refilling…. Gigi : (----interruption----)kind of like co-hosting?
In a different situation, Gigi also interrupted Alex when he tried to ask Gigi to help him as in example [22] (see Appendix F, p. 72, item 129). Gigi interrupted Alex
by asking him about Alex‟s request, “…kind of co-hosting?” She tried to interpret
Alex‟s request as a chance for her to get closer to Alex. 10. Overlapping
Overlapping occurs when the second speaker begins to speak when the first speaker still talks his or her last word. This case was happened in Alex and Gigi‟s conversations. The researcher analyzed that Alex overlapped 3 times while Gigi only once.
[23] Gigi : I don't know if you'd call it hot, I mean this guy Conor and I have
only been out the one time….
Alex : --- (overlap) ---Wait, wait, wait, Conor Barry?
[24] Alex : Look, I can't stop thinking about you. I drive by your place. I call
and hang up. I'm turning into….
Gigi : ---(overlap)---Me.
In a different situation, Gigi also overlapped Alex, when she tried to explain his feeling to Gigi like in the example [24]. In this case, she guessed that Alex was turning into her (see Appendix H, p. 77, item 162).
11. Talk Domination
In line with Thorne‟s (1981) theory about a male speaker who tends to dominate the conversation in cross-sex conversation (see Chapter II, p. 14), the researcher identified the indication that the male speaker, Alex was an expert in the conversations. The conversations that represent talk domination by Alex are explained as follows:
[25] Gigi : You cannot tell from a cursory glance that he's not into her.
Alex : Actually, I can. I see this stuff going on every night. Now watch this, she’s going on about her macrobiotic diet.
The example above portrays Alex as the dominant speaker (see Appendix D, p. 66, items 89-90). He tried to make Gigi sure about his utterance when he said,
“Actually, I can. I can see stuff…” Alex, in addition, dominated the conversation
when he talked about the girl they saw “Now watch this, she’s….”
[26] Gigi : Really? Always?
The example [26] shows that Alex explained to Gigi that a guy will never do the same thing like a girl in terms of keeping the relationship, “trust me, if a guy is treating you like….” He tended to dominate the conversation because he knew exactly
the thing about the guy. Alex, in addition, acted as an expert because he used men‟s
perspective in giving an advice to Gigi “I know what blowing off a woman looks
like.” (see Appendix A, p. 59, items 29-30). 12. Silence
The researcher identified 4 times of silence that occurred in the conversation was only done by Gigi. This case indicates that woman speaker was silent more than man speaker.
[27] Gigi : I'm Gigi. Conor and I went out last week. And I just… (silence)..I thought if I ran into him…(silence)…I don't know. I'm gonna go. Example [27] shows that Gigi was silent when she was unsure of Alex‟s reaction to her comment (see appendix A, p. 57, item 16). There was a long space before she continued to share her personal problem. When she told her feeling about Conor, she was silent again then decided to not continue her problem when said “…I don’t know. I’m gonna go.”
[28] Gigi : Like, it was good to hear from me. You talked to me even when you were with a girl and…(silence)…I felt something.
For the same purpose, Gigi was unsure about Alex‟s reaction when she
wanted to express her feeling (see Appendix G, p. 74, item 144). She was silent
[29] Gigi : Thank you....(silence)…You've given me a lot to think about. The conversation above happened when Gigi was silent when she thanked Alex who gave her advice about her problem (see Appendix A, p. 59, item 33). There
was a long space before she explained more about the effect of Alex‟s advice to Gigi
“You've given me a lot to think about.”
B. The Factors of Misunderstanding in Alex’s and Gigi’s Conversations
In this section the researcher analyzed and interpreted which factors of
misunderstanding that happened in Alex‟s and Gigi‟s conversations.
1. Involvement versus Independence
To prove this factor, the researcher analyzed the following conversations as represented in example [30] and [31]:
Example [30]
Gigi : I'm Gigi. Conor and I went out last week. And I just….I thought if I ran into him….I don't know. I'm gonna go.
Alex : Look, you seem like a cool girl, so I'm just gonna be honest with you, Conor is never going to call you.
Gigi : Oh really? How do you know?
Alex : Because I'm a guy. It's just how we do it.
The conversation above happened when Alex and Gigi met to each other for the first time (see Appendix A, pp. 57-58, items 16-20). In this part, Gigi tried to
share her personal problem to Alex “Conor and I went out last week. And I just….I
It can be said that in getting involved in their conversation, Gigi used self-disclosure. She disclosed her own personal information to Alex. On the other hand, Alex
responded Gigi‟s problem by giving advice “I'm just gonna be honest with you,
Conor is never going to call you.” This conversation indicates that the female speaker tended to share their personal problem and expected that she was get involved.
Example [31]
Alex : I once called 55 Lauren Bell's until I got the right one. Gigi : That's cute. What happened?
Alex : Oh, yeah, as it turns out, her ass looked really huge in daylight. Gigi : Is it your sensitivity that makes you so popular with women? Alex : Don't call him. He doesn't like you.
In contrast, the example above shows that the male speaker, Alex, did not want to disclose more about his personal problem (see Appendix B, pp. 61-62, items 52-56). Alex tried to share his experience when he was looking for the right woman for him, and then Gigi asked what happened next. He responded to Gigi‟s question by continuing his story. When Gigi asked deeper about his story, Alex did not answer
her question but he restated to Gigi about their previous topic “Don't call him. He
doesn't like you.”
A real major difference happened when men and women have different perceptions about sharing their personal problem. It is supported by Tannen (1986) who says that women need for involvement while men need for independence. For women, being understood without explaining what they mean is the result of getting involved. In contrast, independence for men means both men and women should be able to tell each other what they want (p. 132). These different interpretations became one of the factors that led them to get misunderstanding.
2. Message versus Metamessage
To verify this factor, the researcher identified the following conversations as represented in example [32] and 33]:
Example [32]
Alex : Would you mind helping and refilling Gigi : (----interruption----) kind of like co-hosting?
Alex : Uhh, OK. Just refilling the chips. They‟re on the fridge. Thanks.
Example [32] shows that Alex asked Gigi to help him in his party (see Appendix F, p. 72, items 129-130). In this case, he was asking help by using polite
request. For Alex, this was just an ordinary request when he stated, “Just refilling the
chips” to Gigi without any hidden messages in his request. Conversely, Gigi thought that this was not an ordinary request from Alex. In other words, she focused on
metamessage on Alex‟s request when she interrupted “…kind of like co-hosting?”
The researcher analyzed three main parts in the example [33] that lead Alex interpreted his utterance as an invitation (see Appendix G, pp. 73-74, items 134-138).
He just told that he wanted to go to sleep “I really gotta get to bed, though.” In were with a girl and…(silence)…I felt something.
Gigi tried to explain what she thought about their relationship when Alex still did not understand as in the example [33b] (see Appendix G, p. 74, items 139-144). She said that she felt the signs where it was about feeling something different from
a girl and …I felt something.” Here, she also connected Alex‟s previous interaction with her.
Example [33c]
Alex : What are you talking about? What have I been saying since I met you? If a guy wants to date you he will make it happen. He will ask you out. Did I ask you out?
Gigi : No.
Alex : Why would you do this? Oh shit.
Alex : Why do women do this? Why do they build this stuff up in their minds, take each little thing a guy does and twist it into something else? It‟s insane.
The example [33c] portrays that Alex was deeply disappointed at Gigi‟s explanation (see Appendix G, pp. 74-75, items 145-149). He tried to explain that he really did not want to have a closer relationship with Gigi. All he had done to Gigi was only helping her in solving her personal problem “If a guy wants to date you he will make it happen…” Moreover, he expressed his disappointment by complaining
Gigi about women‟s attitude “Why do they build this stuff up in…”
