Contextualising the journey
CHAPTER 1 The Journey begins
2.5 Women and patriarchy in Lesotho
2.5.2 Basotho womanhood and female sexuality
This section deals with how the Basotho view womanhood in relation to female sexuality.
The importance of this section is in relation to how the women teachers in this study see themselves as women and as teachers and how the interaction of these two identities is implicated in the effective handling of sexuality education in rural Lesotho schools.
Basotho men and women acquire new societal status through marriage (Ashton, 1967).
Mohome (1972, p. 181) writes that in-laws avoid calling their new bride by her maiden name by giving her a “teknonymous” name. Since the Basotho communities are patrilineal, teknonymous names given to new brides are related to boys‟ names (Guma, 2001, p. 272). Mosetse (2005) also argues that Basotho communities are patrilocal, meaning that newly married women are expected to leave their birth homes and move to their in-laws‟ home (cf. Chaka-Makhooane et al, 2000).
Basotho people place a lot of value on production of children within families as a way of upholding the clan and keeping the family name alive. According to Setiloane (1976, p.
34), “children are a gift of Balimo.” In the past, when a young man wanted to get married he was told to look for a woman with wide hips which were a sign that she could bear children. The expectation was that within the first three months of marriage, the woman should get pregnant with a son. Failure to have children was mainly attributed to God and Balimo being against the parents, while the birth of twins was a blessing from God and the ancestors (Ashton, 1967, p. 33; Mohome, 1972, p. 178). Motherhood, in this way, has always been an illustrious position within the Basotho nation. Being able to produce children positioned women as being closer to God and the Balimo, and by implication motherhood was regarded as a pure and wholesome identity. The attachment of motherhood to purity has been noted by scholars in other countries (Acholonu, 1995;
Arndt, 2002; Emecheta, 1979; Kirk, 2003; Long, 2009a).
In those days, a woman who bore a boy as her first-born was regarded as a good woman while having a first-born girl was a shame to the family and to the woman. However, the presence of any type of children within families was regarded as a sign of a woman‟s worth. Thus the Basotho gave young brides marital names that denoted the expectation of the family. Guma (2001, p. 266) writes that “the naming process among the Basotho society serves as a socio-cultural elucidation of the concepts of „self‟, „person‟ and
„individual‟...” He argues that names are given to “symbolise individual life experiences, social norms and values, status roles and authority as well as personal attributes.” Thus, most young brides, even today, are given names according to an expected baby boy. The
names would then be Ma (mother of) followed by a boy‟s name. For example: Mathabo=
Ma + Thabo, implying mother of Thabo. Such a name is an indication that the family is expecting the woman to have a baby boy who would then be named Thabo. If the first born child was not a boy, then the woman was expected to produce a boy, who would take up the name, almost immediately after the first child. In some families the first born girl would be given the name of the boy who had been expected.
Some families would wait for the young bride to have a child before she could be given a marital name. Once the child was born then the woman would stop using her maiden name and assume a marital name in line with the name of her first-born. For those women who never got children, they remained with their maiden names forever. In such instances the maiden names were used to mock the childless women. Despite being married, childless women had no social standing. Thus citing Fortes (1973), Guma (2001, p. 277) emphasises that
...no matter how loved and admired an individual may be, if he or she fails to fulfil the ideal pattern of life and leaves no children, then full personhood has not been attained.
This argument is exemplified within the Basotho where married women who produced only boys were the most lauded in the society, while those who produced only girls were also mocked and ridiculed. It was a common practice that women who produced only girls would go to traditional healers to seek help in getting a baby boy. It was a woman‟s fault if there were no boys in the family or no children at all. Even today when it is widely known that biological sex is determined by the man; women are still blamed for not bearing boy children. Thus, families would suggest to the husband that he should marry another woman who would produce children, especially sons. This practice still persists in some areas of Lesotho, despite advances in educational attainment and medical science.
Thus a good woman among the Basotho was and still is one who can produce sons for the family. A woman‟s worth was and still is determined by the type and number of children she produces. The argument for having many children is that the woman should repay the
bride price that has been given to her parents by producing many children, especially boy children. With the changes in the regulations surrounding the payment of bride price, the demands placed on women have changed in relation to child-bearing. However, it is still expected that a woman should produce some children for her to be a „real‟ woman. This kind of womanhood places female sexuality within the discourse of reproduction only.
The worth of a woman‟s sexuality is in producing heirs for the husband. The question remains “What does it mean to have children? What is the relevance of a marital name to a Mosotho woman?” This is an important question in understanding the womanhood and teacher-hood that the Basotho women teachers in this study perform.