Mapping the study: Some guiding Principles
Part 2 5.8 In the field
5.8.2 Dressing for research
A). I was told that they are used to mock other women who believe their husbands were
between the researcher and research participants. It became important for me during the research process to decide what to wear. I had to ensure that my dress code was suitable for a rural village and that it was the accepted code for adult women. I also had to ensure that my dress code made the women participants feel comfortable around me, that I was not dressed in a manner that would increase the power differentials between us. As a divorcee, I have been considered an easy sexual target by men and a threat by married women. Because of this, my involvement with the women teachers within the rural setting was delicate and thus my dress style very important. I had to assure them that my intentions were pure and that I was not after any man in the village. I also had to portray, to the men, a picture of respectability so that they would not think I was an easy target for their lust.
I am mostly comfortable in a jean and T-shirt, with a pair of trainers. Within the context of the village, this kind of attire was not suitable for an adult woman and it was supposedly worn by „loose‟ and immodest women who wanted to reveal their bodies. It was a great challenge for me to get out of my comfort zone and comfortable clothes in order to fit the context of the village. I had some modern European dresses which were not really suitable either because they were not the right length (I prefer my dresses to be knee-length). I realised that the only dress that would not raise any questions for me would be the seshoeshoe15 dress. My mother had to make three new seshoeshoe dresses for me for the field-work because the ones that I owned were a bit short for the standards of the village. However, the new dresses came with another complication. I wanted them to look worn so that the participants would not feel threatened by them. I had to wash them several times before wearing, just to give them the worn look.
The problem of the dress was sorted but what remained were the shoes. I could not wear any formal shoes with my seshoeshoe dresses because of the amount of walking that I had to do daily to get to the schools. I found myself in the most awkward position of having to wear a formal dress with trainers. I found myself hating everyday that I had to dress in such a manner. I had to have a shawl or a Basotho blanket for warmth depending
15 The seshoeshoe dress is the modern traditional dress for Basotho women.
on the weather. This created another challenge for me because my aunt told me that I wore the blanket like a man. She had to show me how to wear the blanket with some semblance of grace. My aunt also told me that I walked too fast for a woman and I had to change. I usually walk fast in my jeans and T-shirt without any worries, but in a dress I felt really clumsy, especially when time was limited and I had to hurry. The dresses were too long for my short frame and they made walking somehow problematic. I felt awkward and unattractive and this did not help with my confidence at all. It took some getting used to before I stopped feeling bothered by my appearance. I believe that the women teachers I worked with were more comfortable in the dress code expected of them through prolonged practice.
Everyday of the field work made me realise how torn I was between the desire to express myself personally, to be true to who I felt I really was inside and the desire to comply with perceived notions of how women teachers should look. I found myself asking questions similar to those asked by anthropologist Fred Davies regarding what to wear:
Whom do I wish to please, and in so doing whom am I likely to offend? What are the consequences of appearing as this kind of person as against that kind? Does the image I think I convey of my self reflect my true innermost self or some specious version thereof? Do I wish to conceal or reveal? (Davies, 1992, p. 24)
I did my best to please the participants and the village community with my choice of dress during the period of the field-work. My aim was to conceal my body so as not to appear sexually inviting and to blend in with the other women so as not to be seen as an outsider university student. The person I managed to portray with my chosen dress assisted a lot with the data production even though what I presented was not my true
„innermost‟ self. I am still not sure up to this moment as to how the villagers and my participants read my dress code and the meanings they made out of it. I am also unable to say whether the women teachers were dressing for the research just as I was, and what part of themselves they portrayed. The question still remains: in dressing for research does one dress to reveal their innermost self or to comply with common perceptions of being?