Mapping the study: Some guiding Principles
Part 2 5.8 In the field
5.8.5 Group discussions
A one day workshop was organised at Makoala High School because it had a hall.
Participants from Bahale High School were transported to the workshop. Participants brought their photo-stories and drawings to the workshop. These were presented to the rest of the group to open up the debate around sexuality education. The participants also shared their written memory accounts. Reflections on the memory narratives provided information on how women teachers experience teaching sexuality education in rural schools. The photo-stories provided information on the women teachers‟ understandings of what sexuality entailed in relation to their teaching, while the drawings provided information on how the women teachers saw themselves as women and as teachers and how this positioning influences their teaching. Discussions during this session were audio-recorded. A light lunch and refreshments were provided for the women teachers during the workshop.
I led the discussion on the memory accounts by sharing my own story of teaching sexuality education in a rural school. During my presentation I could sense that the women teachers were shocked at what I was telling them. When I was through with telling about the experience they started asking me several questions in relation to the experience (see Chapter 6). One of the questions was “How could you get aroused by just thinking of a student‟s question?” I felt really awkward having to answer this question because the women teachers did obviously not comprehend what had happened to me.
For them it was unheard of. I thought I had spoiled things for them by revealing such a story because I felt as if I was being judged as a „bad‟ woman.
However, I answered their questions to the best of my ability and eventually they started talking about their own stories which to me also seemed intense and sensitive. The first woman teacher to open up was the widow, who to my thinking had nothing to loose by relating her story however sensitive unlike the other women who still had husbands. It could also be that the widow learnt to speak up for herself when her husband died, while the other women still wait for male voices to give meaning to their thoughts. During her talk the other women teachers started joining in and confirming some of her points as being true to their own experiences. This made it easier for the other women teachers to talk about their experiences too. Our stories showed how our teaching of sexuality education was affected by several issues pertaining to the societies in which we live and the cultures and traditions that govern them.
The discussions on the drawings and photo-stories got the women teachers fired up to take action to better their situation. As we discussed the photo-stories the women teachers were able to identify the gaps in their knowledge of sexuality and how this affected the way they taught sexuality education in their classrooms. They started talking of ways in which they could improve their knowledge and practice of sexuality education. They made plans of steps to take to improve their teaching and I tried not to get too involved in these plans even though I promised that I could help in any way I could to implement their plans.
The discussion on the drawings became a bit emotional as the women teachers reflected on the meaning of their lives as women and sexual beings within the rural family context.
For some of the women teachers it seemed as if the study had provided them with the only opportunity they had ever had to reflect on who they were as women and the power dynamics embedded in being and becoming a Mosotho woman. The drawings on how the women teachers saw themselves as women also brought reflections on their personal lives which were traumatic.
I was not prepared for such an emotional explosion. I could not help being emotional myself as these discussions forced me to reflect on my own experiences of having been married and the challenges I had faced. However, it was interesting to listen to how the women teachers commented on their position as teachers and how the power invested in this position contradicted their position as women, and how these two positions could be reconciled to create possibilities for them to better facilitate the teaching of sexuality education in rural schools.
At the end of the one day workshop I walked home with some of the women teachers.
This gave me an opportunity to experience with them the societal expectations on teachers. As we walked on home we were greeted with warmth and respect by the village people. Some parents were brave enough to even stop the teachers on the way and ask them to assist with social problems that did not have anything to do with teaching. I began to realise that in the village, a teacher was expected to be knowledgeable in every aspect of life irrespective of gender. An example of such an occurrence was when one parent said “Misi ngoana‟ka fariki eaka e hana ho nka poho. Ebe nka etsa joang?” (My daughter, I need help with my pig that does not get pregnant. What should I do?). The women teachers were expected to give assistance in this matter just because they were teachers and therefore knowledgeable. Luckily one of the women teachers also had pigs and she told this particular parent where to go to get a good boar.
The teacher position is prestigious to a point of becoming harmful to the teachers. The pedestal that teachers are placed on assumes teachers to be superhuman. As we were walking home, we stopped at a community tap to get some water to drink. There were some villagers collecting water and they let us fill our bottles first. Unfortunately as we were filling the bottles, one teacher who was suffering from flatulence broke wind loud enough for everyone near the tap to hear. The teacher was very embarrassed as we left the tap and one of the villagers said, behind our backs, “Le matichere a phinya tjee?”
(Even teachers break wind in public?). While this statement was humorous, it still indicates much about the social construction of teacher-hood within the rural context.
It was striking that as we neared the homes of the women teachers, they seemed to change and become quieter. They dropped the leisurely pace that we had adopted from the school and wanted to hurry so that they could get home before sunset. This, they said, was so that they could not get into trouble with their in-laws and husbands. I am not sure if I was reading too much into the situation but the women teachers seemed to lose their joviality and appeared to become more depressed. The only people who carried on without any change were the widowed teacher and one other teacher whose husband was working away from home.