PEARL 8
Church: When Kids
At some point, however, our kids may dig in their heels and make a stand. It is often valuable to attempt to uncover the reasons for their displeasure with church. Maybe they don’t care for their Sunday school teacher, or they’ve had the Baby Moses story for the past six years running and are bored stiff, or there are few kids their age. It could be any number of things. Talking it out with our kids may help them see the value of Sunday morning time with God.
And, of course, there are always ways to make our children go to church — tactics we don’t advise. By using these tactics, we do not allow our kids to appreciate and value the experience of their own volition. We can exert our power and feel in control, or we can look for a creative long-term solution. The important thing to remember is that parental demands will probably come to fruition in rebellion. Kids will fight parents who insist, “You have to believe what I believe.”
But have faith. Disliking church is most likely a stage. As little kids, they love Sunday school. Then comes the phase when they don’t want to go. However, if we haven’t made church attendance a major issue during the early years — presenting a good role model instead — our kids will most likely see value in going to church as they get older.
PEARL 9 Creativity
A
creative child is a fun-to-be-around child. Children’s creativity fills us with a strange mixture of surprise, joy, and pride. Truly creative children are self-stimulating. They are motivated to accomplish on their own.Creativity is a “doing” concept. No one can be creative while watching a football game or watching TV. Creative children don’t whine, “What can I do?” and “What can I watch?”
However, creativity is best when combined with self-discipline. If you have a creative child who has no self-discipline, then you have raised “the child from hell.” After all, it is creative to paint on top of wallpaper, color the dog with nail polish, and shoot colored ink onto the ceiling with a water pistol. Self-discipline and creativity are not related and are independent variables. Self-disciplined children can be either creative or not. And creative children can be self-disciplined or not. The kids who are a real joy are creative and self-disciplined!
Encouraging Creativity in Early Toddlerhood
Creativity is strongly related to inquisitiveness. Toddlerhood is the most important time for parents to encourage their children’s curiosity. During these foundation years, the brain is very malleable and its growth is completely dependent on environmental givens and expectations.
Amazingly, the brain is physically changed by what takes place during infancy and toddlerhood.
Two to six are the ages of industry and initiative. Wise parents encourage their children to explore the environment. Sadly, I often see a toddler exploring the environment in an airport waiting area or the church
narthex, not bothering anybody, and then one of his parents discourages him by saying, “Come here,” when the child isn’t going anyplace anyway.
I feel sorry for both the child and the parent. Let the kid go. Let him explore. As long as he isn’t intruding on another’s space or tranquility, relax!
During toddlerhood, wise parents excite their children by showing enthusiasm about exploring and understanding the world. A parent might blow on a mobile: “What makes that go around?” And, looking at a candle, “Wow, when that gets hot, it bubbles.” Toddlers love learning how to work the buttons on the DVD player and the TV. They want to know how high they can stack blocks and how cream mixes with coffee when it is stirred. Curiosity and creativity wind around each other. Wise parents are forever saying, “Wow, look at that! How does that work?”
Discipline, as we said in the beginning, is an essential element for happiness with the curious child. Only discipline leads to a joyful exploring of the environment that is fun for both parent and child. It’s only enjoyable to have a toddler explore the waiting room or narthex if he will come when called, and only fun to have a child watch how coffee mixes with cream if he respects the adult’s wishes that he not grab the cup. Recently, I (Foster) was in a home where the kids were designing the Snake River Drainage Basin all over the kitchen floor. I asked their mother about the watery mess the kids were making in front of the refrigerator and stove, and she laughed, saying, “Well, the kitchen floor is made to be wet. And it works because they clean it up as soon as I ask!”
Encouraging Creativity in Early Childhood
The easiest way to encourage creativity in early childhood is to deep-six the TV. But that’s almost impossible for young parents who grew up with TV themselves during their formative years. But it is probably sufficient to say that all children should spend more time doing something at home than watching something. The following is a partial list of how parents have encouraged creativity in early childhood:
• Use a thrift shop as your toy store and buy clocks and all
sorts of mechanical stuff to take apart; clothes for dress-up; and old jewelry boxes to store and collect important stuff. Start
your child’s collection of anything fun — old postcards, salt and pepper shakers, or padlocks.
• Make sure you have a white wall covered with plastic for dry marker drawings.
• Every home would be better off with a built-in stage than a built-in media center.
• In addition to reading stories to your children, make up stories round-robin fashion.
• Make sure that, in Mary Poppins style, every job has an element of fun.
Encouraging Creativity in Childhood
Childhood is the time when the entrepreneurs and inventors of the future really start to bloom. Parents encourage this by showing excitement around their child’s areas of strength. These are the years of exposure to the wonders of the world — exposure to museums, art shows, plays, and dinner theaters. Whatever the child is exposed to, it is most effective if the parents are excited about the experience too. Whatever activities the parents experience with joy, in the company of their children, the children take up with relish and, after a time, usually become absorbed in it without parental input. My own mom interested my brother and me in darkrooms, guppy breeding, butterfly collecting, and writing by being excited about all of these activities for a short time and then turning the darkroom, aquariums, butterfly nets, and typewriters over to us. Her motto was “Try it — you’ll probably like it!” And her love coupled with her excited curiosity about the world has lasted us for three quarters of a century.
In summary, show excitement about how things work, do things with your children, become excited about what they and you discover, and you will probably raise self-motivated, curious, and creative children.