CONCLUSION'

MDLETSHE

2.3 CONCLUSION'

The minute details of different traditions and customs of the interviewees differ according to clans, families and communities. Some of them did not remember the exact dates of their birth and marriage.

All the interviewees felt that life without customs and tradition contributes to the difficult time of today. They lamented the decline in sexual morality and they blamed this decline on education, television and unemployment. They pointed at the vacuum that is created by the departure ofiqhikiza/ingqwele in the education of the young. Today nobody plays those roles and parents do not know what is

happening with their children. What makes it more difficult is the fact that the children are together at school, boys and girls, of different ages. Itis at such schools that the older children influence the younger ones on sexual matters. Some of the older people saw the school as a place of meeting for the young people, where they learn, and are encouraged to be involved in sexual intercourse, without proper supervIsIon.

From the foregoing discussions and interviews it is clear that what was important in the upbringing of young men and women was the role of theiqhikiza and ingqwele.

Asiqhikiza and ingqwele were part of the community structure, this ensured

parental involvement in the sexual education and upbringing of the young people.

Parents were not directly involved in the sex life of their children, as this would be seen as meddling in young peoples' affairs, butifthere was something amiss parents would definitely know it through the teachers of the young people, in order to deal with the issue at stake and to instil discipline. The parents did not know the details of the sexual lives of their children. All they knew is that sexual education was taking place and that their children were in good hands. The young people were open with their appointed teachers.

The traditional young person was not exposed to too many threats sexually. This is because of their context. Their family structure was a closely-knit web of an extended family. This ensured that young people were offered support through the different stages of growth and development until adulthood. Everybody knew one another in the village. The feasts that were held in the village from ukuthomba until the marriage ceremony, all inculcated a positive attitude towards sex and sexuality.

For a young man to propose a relationship to a girl and be accepted by her was a sign of honour and of being a real man. This had a psychological effect of boosting the self-esteem of the young man.

It

was the beginning of a fulfilment of a vocation to continue the lineage of one's family. Not to be loved by a girl was a great shame.

Some ritual had to be performed to cleanse the man from such bad luck. When a young woman was proposed to it was seen as a sign of being a woman who can contribute to her own family throughilobolo, and to the whole community through childbirth. If a woman was passed-by, by a man without a word or two, that would reflect badly on the young woman.

Having sex before marriage was a punishable offence. A love affair for the traditional Zulu person presupposes no sex. It is interesting to note that an alternative to sex was given. A young man had to masturbate on the thighs of a young woman. Sexual intercourse made a young woman a wife. The only way a young man could make her his wife was throughilobolo. Ifthe young man cannot control himself then they should practiceukusoma.

It

also became clear in the interviews that in the traditional Zulu society young people were supposed to abstain from sex until marriage. Ukusoma came in because of a decline in morality.

The Zulu culture had to adapt to social change and new demands. This was a development that made it possible for a young woman to remain a virgin until

marriage. Taboos were also known and there were structures to deal with situations that were culturally unacceptable. Ukuhlolwa was one of the ways of ensuring that young girls did not involve themselves in sexual intercourse before marriage. Such a ritual instilled a sense of pride in the young girls. To be known to be a virgin entitles the young woman to a full ilobolo and a sense of pride. There was a penalty for a person who deflowered a young virgin

Ukuhlonipha was key to the education of young men byibhungu. Ukuhlonipha stems from the fact that the young woman is becoming part of the young man's life.

Ifthe young man respects the young woman it means he is respecting himself That meant that a man had to provide for the woman materially and protect her. The young woman was also formed in all thehlonipha ways, which made it possible in some cases to have mutual respect. A woman was also taught tohlonipha herself, which meant to look after her own body, to be clean and not to allow anyone to have sex with her.

Inthis Zulu traditional society there were strong family bonds. This is demonstrated by the way the homesteads were built, with the sons in the same homesteads with their parents. Even the graves were in the homestead, to demonstrate the unity of the living and the dead. Whenever there was a feast in the family the whole village was involved. An example of this is the hoisting of the white flag when a young man has fallen in love. The whole village was involved in the preparations for the feast.

A close connection was demonstrated between polygamy and divorce. For members of the royal family polygamy was a status and a sign of wealth. For the ordinary Zulu person polygamy was exercised as a way of avoiding divorce. If a woman could not bear a child, or was sickly or had children but no son, it was deemed fit that instead of abandoning her it was good to get someone else to assist this woman as a second wife. Polygamy was not something forced upon the woman Itwas discussed with the wife. Divorce was not possible as the woman is now part of the man's household. There were also not many illegitimate children Any child who was born out of wedlock was legitimised by a subsequent marriage. An illegitimate child would be one born out of wedlock and the mother does not marry after that.

Such instances were very rare.