Mutual Respect and equality

6.2.5 "irginity

6.4 A Zulu Christian Theology of Marriage

6.4.7 Mutual Respect and equality

of procreation in marriage. Procreation would be worth waiting for, as it would seal the love of husband and wife.

It

would also be a sign of their total self-giving to one another. Such a self-giving would have trust and fidelity as its basis. All sexual activities would occur between the husband and the wife and there would be no place for masturbation, or any other forms of sexual activities that would exclude a partner of the opposite sex.

Virginity is highly prized by both Zulu culture and Christian theology.

It

is seen as

highlighting the importance of integrity and chastity. A Zulu Christian theology

would need to appreciate the Zulu notion of virginity and challenge it to a higher

ideal, which are not only physical virginity but spiritual virginity also. This would

be a way of life that is concerned with chastity as encompassing one's whole

existence.

disciples²³•Jesus does not end by just accepting women in his ministry. He goes on and acknowledges that a woman is also a hero in the proclamation of the news of the kingdom. Inthe proclamation of the kingdom, as shown by the parable of the lost coin, a woman is shown as essentially equal to a man. She is put in the parables of Jesus as one who can convey the message of salvation to others. The love of a couple that incorporates respect and equality is closer to the attitude of Jesus to women. This is also in line with Feminist theology, which believes in the equality between man and woman.

The Church teaches that man and woman complement each other in marriage. They are important for the salvation of each other. Haering²⁴states that:

We cannot speak on the human person without giving proper attention to the bi-polarity or reciprocity between man and woman in the whole of creation and redemption. The reciprocity is fundamental and presupposes, by necessity, equality in relational diversity. Only in their mutuality can they find and communicate to each other the fuller truth. Wherever equality is denied in this relationship, truth is jeopardised (1979:498).

Haering makes it clear that man needs woman as an equal in order for them to reach their goal of salvation. He goes on to mention that whenever this equality is denied man ceases to be a fitting image of God. A domineering man would cease to be a fitting image of God in a family, as he

will

cause a lot of frustrations for the woman.

Such frustrations

will

be perpetuated in their children. A happy and well-adjusted mother

will

show a selfless love to their children, while an unhappy parent

will

find satisfaction through rejecting the child or loving the child possessively or

destructively. This is further demonstrated by Paul's letter to the Ephesians where he speaks about it being necessary for the wife to be obedient and for the husband to love^25. The different roles that the husband and the wife play in society should not be seen as alluding to inequality. The roles that they play should be seen as a way of complementing each other. Itshould always be kept in mind that both man and woman are created in theImago DeP6. Thismeans that they are both endowed with intelligence and

will.

They can also exercise their freedom as an expression of

23Luke 8:2-3.

24 Quoting Wojtyla's Amour et Responsabi/ite (1965)

25 Ephesians 5: 22-33.

26Image of God.

their humanity. Having intelligence andwillmakes both man and woman spiritually equal from the point of view of their humanity. The African Synod deplored all African customs and practices that deprive women of their rights and the respect that is due to them. To affirmthe fundamental equality ofman and woman enriches their complementarily.

There are many ways of showing respect in the Zulu society. Examples of this would be a young man who is supposed to remove his hat when talking to an elderly person, a person kneeling when asking something from their parents and sitting down when talking to an older person about an important issue. Itis from the Zulu idea of mutual respect that the Zulu theology can develop the idea of equality between them. As the womanhasbecome part of the man's body, the manhasalso become part of the woman's body'. This would be the basis of the equality that should exist between the husband and the wife. This would lead to both the husband and the wife having equal rights and equal say on each other's bodies. Such an equality between husband and wife would help in avoiding the perversion that stems from the conviction that one partner is superior to the other.

A Zulu Christian theology would have to show that the mutual respect that is taught by Zulu culture is not equality. This Zulu notion of mutual respect should develop into equality. As Zulu culture believes that the woman has become part of the man 's body, it should also acknowledge that the manhasalso become part of the woman's body. This puts both husband and wife on the same par as far as they need each other in ful:filling their tasks as husband and wife, and as father and mother, and it highlights their complementarity. Shutte sees this complementarity as alluding to responsibility in different ways. He says: "The complementarity of genders does not mean that the woman is responsible for the home and the man for the work. Both are responsible for both work and home but in different ways to be decided by mutual agreement ."( 2001 :98). A Zulu Christian theology should stress the fact that the man and the woman become one in marriage. They become part of each other. Although they play different roles they are essentially equal by virtue of being created in the image and likeness of God. A fuller image of God is reflected in the unity and the mutual acknowledgement of the equality of both husband and wife.