THE ZULU TRADITIONAL SOCIETY
2.2 INTERVIEWS
I conducted the following interviews with interviewees from the village of Kwa- Mzimba, which is about 20 kmfrom Pietennaritzburg. I chose this village because it is one that is closest to truly traditional Zulu community. Obviously there are variations from one community to another. The Pietennaritzburg area is an
important area in the history and the culture of the Zulu people. Some chiefs of the Zulus used to live around this area, which is traditionally known as Mgungundlovu.
13Avoidance rituals.
14Inher articleMarriage, Affinity and the Ancestral Realm: Zulu Marriage in Female Perspective.
Some of the descendants of these chiefs are still alive in this area Itis an area that . still practices some of the Zulu traditional customs. I visited them in their homes
on a weekly basis and the interviews lasted about an hour and a half per interviewee. Mrs Zondi. a retired schoolteacher, helped me in identifying some inten1iewees and she took me around to introduce me to them. The interviewees in this section were born between the years 1904and 1969. The presence and
influence of Mrs Zondi was essential, as she is well known and trusted in the village. Her presence made it easy for the researcher to be accepted and towin the confidence of the interviewees.
2.2.1 INTERVIEW WITH NDESHENI EZROM NGUBANE
DATE OF INTERVIEW:
DATE OF BIRTH PLACE OF BIRTH
8 March2002 1924
Kwa-Mzimba DATE OF MARRIAGE : Interviewee not sure
Question I: Explain to me your first experience of interaction with girls.
I remember that as a young man I used to look after my father's cattle. While we were out in the veld, playing in the mountain and learning tricks about life, we used to talk with other young men about life in general, and about women in particular.
Itis during this time while herding cattle that we had an opportunity to meet with young women. These young women would be going to the river to fetch water or to do the laundry in the mornings or fetching firewood in the afternoons. This was the time for us to propose love to them. We would wait for them along the path where we know they are likely to walk past. and then we would spring up on them and catch them unaware. You had to learn the girl's routine in order to get to her otherwise she would avoid youifshe did not like you. I met my wife MaPhakathi while she was fetching water. I was quite grown up by then and I had already started working. I was working at a mine in Johannesburg. I used to come home every month. She used to be at her home and I used to see her with her friends. I looked ather and I loved her.
Question 2: How did you propose love to MaPhakathi?
It was at the end of the month on a Sunday morning. I had come home to bring money to myfather, as it is expected of every workingrnan. I then saw MaPhakathi going to fetch water and I loved her. I followed her and I praised her. I told her that I loved her and she did not respond. I did notthinkmuch of this because agirl was not expected to respond immediately in those days. In fact I would have thought less of her had she given me the answer on the same day. The following day I had to return to work. A month later I came back home and at this time MaPhakathi was allowed by Iqhikiza to respond to me. I met with her iqhikiza who told me to organise ucu ceremony. IfIqhikiza told you that, as a young man it was a clear sign that thegirl you have been pursuing has made up her mind about you. I still had to wait for a perfect time to hold the ceremony. In all this time I had not spoken directly with MaPhakathi. A month later this ceremony took place. Young men and women from our village gathered in the veld where we feasted. There was beer and she gave me ucu. The whole village knew that she had accepted my proposal.
Question 3: What happened after you received ucu?
This was the time for iqhikiza to organise for MaPhakathi and myself to be together for the first time. This coming together is called ukubambanisa. We met in the open veld outside the village, where nobody could see us. This is where we
perfonned ukubambanisa. This is when a young man will tryto force himself on a young woman. The young woman is expected to resist the young man' s advances with all her power. This would result in a big fight that a young woman would have to win so that there can be no sexual intercourse between the two of them. If the young manwinsthe fight and penetrates the young woman it is regarded as a sign of weak character on the part of the young woman that results in friction between her and her iqhikiza. The young man also develops doubts about the young woman's integrity. He assumes that she will easily have sex with other men in his absence. From this point onwards we had to practice ukusoma15. This was important for me because I worked far from home and would be gone for long
15Masturbation between the thighs of a woman.
periods of time. Itwas important for me to know that I could trust MaPhakathi to behave herself while I was away at the mines.
Question 4: How would penetrative sex create friction between MaPhakathi and iqhikiza?
For us Zulus, we do not permit any sexual intercourse before marriage. In,as a youngman,have sex with MaPhakathi during ukubambanisa, it means that I have
made hermywife. That would have meant that we have skipped some important stages that would have been frowned upon in the community. How can she be my wife before I have paid ilobolo16?Remember that iqhikiza is watching this fight from a distance. IfMaPhakathi had allowed me to have penetrative sex with her iqhikiza would have had to report this to MaPhakathi's parents. I would have been fined a cow for that because I would have spoiled her virginity. My father would definitely not have been impressed by this since I did not own cows then. Had I been found to be doing wrong he would have had to pay for me with one of his own cows. This is bad because men want to marry virgins. She would have been
subjected to ridicule by girls of her age as one ongenasimilo17. A young woman is supposed to have penetrative sex only after marriage. If she loses her virginity before marriage her ilobolo Iiecomes ten cows instead of eleven. The eleventh cow, called inkomo kamama18is not given to the mother because she failed to take proper care of her daughter.
Question 5: How would you know that a woman is not a virgin?
If penetration is easy during yourfirstsexual intercourse then you know that she is no longer a virgin. Penetration is supposed to be difficult for both the man and the woman if she is still a virgin. She is also supposed to bleed. A man knows when a woman is not a virgin. A virgin is supposed to be tight and it must be difficult for a man to penetrate her. This is also shown by the pain she has during sexual
intercourse. One can also see from her physical appearance. A woman who has tight
16A recognised Zulu custom whereby a young man pays some cows, nowinthe form of money . for
the bride. . .
17One with loose morals.
18 The mother's cow.
breasts is one who has not had sexual intercourse in her life. The one with big breasts is normally one who is no longer avirgin.
Question 6: What happened afterukubambanisa?
After sometime of courtship, I do not remember exactly how long this period took, I told my father about my intention to marry MaPhakathi. Itwas easy for me to get to this stage because I had been working for some time and thought I was ready to look after a wife and children. My father sentabakhongi/9. Abakhongi went to ukucela20. I paid 3 pounds (R6), which serves as a deposit. Afterukucelwa. dobolo is paid in stages. I gave part of my salary to my father so that he could help me with the payment ofilobolo. After the ilobolo was finished, which was twelve cows in my case, we had a big traditional wedding(ukugcagca). MaPhakathi was brought to my father's house where we lived together. This is when we began making a family and ensuring continuity of the family name by having children. We have three boys and a girl. Marriage is a long process that can take even two years. This is done in order to involve the two families who are now becoming relatives. The whole community has to be involved in all the different stages of marriage. This long process of marriage allows the two families to get to know each other. The two who are getting married get to know more about marriage before they start living with one another. It is during this process of being initiated into marriage that one gets to know about the roles that have to be played in marriage and all the other expectations of marriage.