MDLETSHE
2.2.5 INTERVIEW WITH PHILLIP ZONDI
is a flag hanginginhis honour outside his father's homestead. The whole family would know about a young man's love life. This kept the young man from doing wrong things and the same thing was true for the young woman's family. We were closely monitored.
That is why young people today fall into all kinds of temptations because they are doing things in private. It is very easy to give in to temptation because no one is looking or interested. Inour days you feU in love because you were looking for a possible wife unlike these games we see our children playing today. This is a stage when the two families would be working on their new status as relatives. Gifts would be brought to the family of the young woman(ukwaba). This would be the beginning of the two families visiting each other, getting to know more about each other. They would also be planning for the marriage(umgcagco), which would be the final stage of the marriage. '
ukusoma. Asyou might know, the Zulu tradition was intolerant to any sexual intercourse before marriage. We were supposed to abstain from sex until marriage.
Ukusoma was introduced when morality started deteriorating, when the young men started losing control of themselves. Ukusoma was tolerated because it does not interfere with the virginity of the young woman. I met MaDuma around this time when I thought I was old enough to have a serious relationship and look for a possible woman to bear my children and carry on my father's name. I had to work first to make sure I would have money to pay ilobolo for a wife. Inthose days our fathers would never want to pay full ilobolo for us to have wives. You had to produce the bulk of the money first so that your father can then support you with what you could not afford. I paidilobolo for MaDuma in 1972 and got married in 1973. I have no children outside marriage. We did not do anything for no reason those days. I have taught my children the same values. My five sons also do not have children outsidemarriage~ What worries me is that my sons are grown up and working but they have not introduced any woman to me. This might be a sign that they have a number of relationships.
Question 2: What happened if one was found to have had sex before marriage?
During our days sexual intercourse before marriage was not a sign of a young man' s virility as it is thought of today. Itwas a punishable offence to more than just the girl involved. The young man involved in sexual intercourse was supposed to pay a penalty. I do not know about other villages because we differ from village to village. Inour village the young man had to give a goat to the woman's family.
What the woman's family did was to slaughter the goat and spill its insides at a river. All the children belonging to the young woman's family had to wash
themselves in that water. This was a cleansing ritual because the young woman had defiled the whole family. No young man took pride in having his name and that of his family be dragged in the mud in that manner. Girls also did not want to be the ones to bring shame to their own families, especially their mothers. The bulk of the blame, should such an incident take place, was shifted to the mother and called into question her ability to raise her daughters. That is why we still have virginity testing even today, to protect families from this defilement. We have virginity testing which takes place every Saturday here at Emvundlweni. Yende Mkhize, a woman in her fifties, conducts these tests for every girl in the village. These tests
are compulsory for every girl from the age of twelve until marriage. Many parents send their daughters for this testing. Nothing is done for the testing of boys here at Emvundlweni32. My wife is againstukuh/olwa (virginity testing). She says it is against human dignity to be asked to reveal your private parts to a stranger now and again, for her to fiddle \vith.
Question 3: Do you think your children are involved in pre-marital sex?
I do not know. All I know is that my daughters go for virginity testing every Saturday. I teach my sons ukushaya ind/wabu33. I teach them masturbation because it is a good way of releasing oneself Masturbation helps to cool down the hot blood that would cause these young men to deflower girls. This is what I teach my children because the situation is so bad today, with young girls getting pregnant, children without a father, divorce, AIDS. Ifmy child would have to impregnate a young woman we would have to pay a lot of money which I do not have.
Question 4: What can people do today to live good lives?
Life today would improve if the old customs were to be revived. This looks like an impossible dream. One of the biggest obstacles to people living according to the dictate of their culture is education. Those who are educated look down upon the roleofigosa and iqhikiza. The arrival of the white man, the advent of television and the regard of tradition as pagan, all these hinder the Zulu people from living a life that is in accordance with their traditions and customs. The roles ofiqhikiza and igosa are mistaken for interference in the privacy and the individuality of a young person to choose who they want to be. This is sad because young people are fumbling in the dark. There are things that society considers to be wrong because education and religion dictates them to be so. Young people then go through these changes because they are inevitable. They then secretly find ways to fulfil these needs without guidance and risk getting sick.
Question 5: Do you belong to the royal family?
32Virginity testing for boys is done bymakingthe boys to sit on the ground with their legs straight.
Their teacherwill feeltheirkneecap.Ifit is hardand fInnit means that they are virgins.Ifit shakes and moves it meansthatthey are not virgins anymore.
,33To masturbate.
Yes I do.
Question 6: Explain to me how you are connected to the royal family.
The Zondi's feature in the royal family this way: During the time of King Shaka there was a case, which involved sexual misconduct. A certain man was having sexual intercourse with under-aged girls. King Shaka askedZondi, his Induna 34to preside over the case. Inhis handling of the case, Zondi impressed King Shaka. He was so wiseinhis deliberations and showed a lot of skill. Because of such wisdom and depth ofjudgement King Shaka instructed Zondi to rule over the area of Greytown, across the Tugela, as chief of e-Nadi. Zondi became a chief as a reward and an acknowledgement of his wisdom by King Shaka That is how the Zondi royal family was established.